Old becomes New again

Today's blog is inspired by my terrific son Terence.

Three nights a week he takes a martial arts class. Tonight was one of those nights. Typically he gets home around 7:00. Tonight, he got home much later. At about 8:30, just as I was about to call to find out where he was, he showed up.

I walked outside to greet him and and as soon as I saw him I realized why he was later than usual. He had been to the barber. And a long overdue visit to the barber it was.

I don't know if it's a good thing or bad, but my son is much like his beloved mother...a "free spirit". I don't like conforming to society's standards about anything. I've always pretty much been a square peg forced to fit into a round hole. As we all know...it doesn't fit.

Well my son is very similar. He loves to draw, but he draws in his own unique way. He's writing a book, and his book will be unlike any other because HE is unlike any other. The same holds true when it comes to his hair.

Getting that boy to comb his hair is like pulling teeth. He tends to go for the "natural" look, and I've gotten to the point where I had to ask myself, "Who is it bothering?" The answer to that question was...absolutely nobody. So I leave him alone. As long as it's clean, that's really all that matters.

He's gone through a few "phases" with his hair. He's had it all cut off (I actually like that look on him because it brings out his "baby face").

He's had a mohawk.

He's had an afro. This is what I thought he was working on with his latest style. It just kept getting bigger and bigger, so I thought for sure that he was working toward a huge afro, or maybe braids, or twists...or something.

Well...that was until he got home tonight with...a FLAT TOP!

Yes, a Flat Top. And it looks faaantastic on him!

It took me completely by surprise. I never expected a flat top. He never mentioned that he wanted one, and we don't know anybody who has one, so I asked him where he got the idea.

This is where the "Old becomes New again" comes in: He saw the hairstyle on one of the characters of a show that he watches...from back in the late 80's...LONG before he was born. But to him, it's all new. I think that's kinda cool.

He sees what he wants and goes after it. He's so daring. He sets his sights on things and doesn't take them off. Whether it's a hair style, a book, an art class, running for class President...my son Terence is fearless. And he teaches me everyday that I too can let go of some (and one day hopefull ALL) of my fears.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! If you could bring back a style, what would it be?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

With all that's going on in our world today somehow the fact that an International Supermodel is losing her hair became "big news".

How sad.

We've got a war going on, oil gushing profusely off the Gulf Coast, homeless people everywhere...and the fact that a supermodel is potentially going bald has made the news.

Seriously?

What is going on? Where are our priorities?

First of all, if she is losing her hair, that's her business, and she should be allowed to deal with that in a manner that makes her most comfortable. I get that she's a model and all, but she shouldn't have to worry about paparazzi trying to get a glimpse of her and her bald spots.

Do I sound a little hot under the collar? Maybe I do. But it's because I (unlike many) can relate to what she's going through. I too am potentially going bald. I pray that it doesn't come to that but at the rate that my hair is falling out, you just never know.

2009 was the worst year of my life, although the trouble began back in October of 2008.

That was when my stress levels at work reached a considerable high. I was working extremely long hours, missing time with my family, and had very little time to do anything except squeeze in a few hours for sleep. I was STRESSED, and it was completely work related.

Then, on January 29 2009, I got some news about my health that knocked me off my feet. It was a real "EYE-opener", and left me wondering, "what next?" So in addition to the stress at work, now I had health related stress also.

Oh, but the issues kept on coming. On July 7th 2009, I had a bad day. A REALLY REALLY REALLY bad day. I can't even go into what happened on that day, but I can say that the effects of that day carried over for the rest of the year. So on top of work related, and health related stress, I now had emotional stress piled on.

Now I'm not saying all of this so that you can feel sorry for me. I'm just being real, and it is what it is. And NO...I will NOT show you my bald spots...so don't even ask ;-)

What I didn't realize then, was that all that stress was too much for my body...waaay too much. And that stress chose to manifest itself in my body via hair loss,LOTS of it.

On my scalp are 3 huge bald spots. One the circumference of a soda can. The other the circumference of a tomato paste can, and the other the circumference of a half dollar. Completely bald. No hair on those spots whatsoever.

Yet even with the hair loss, I am thankful for sooo much.

I am thankful that the stress did not manifest itself in a more severe form, like a heart attack, or a stroke. Hey, I can handle a little hair loss. And even if I lose it all...there are some super cute wigs out there. Maybe it's time for me to switch up my look :-)

I'm also thankful that even with all of the hair that is now missing, I still have enough to cover up the patches. What a blessing!

This whole hair loss thing has taught me a lesson that I've been telling myself for years...it's not about who I am on the outside, not the size of my body, not the hair on my head...but it's TRULY about who I am on the INSIDE. That's who I hope people really see...the Me INSIDE, because THAT is who I will always be...with or without hair.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is there something about you that people don't know about because you're afraid of how they may think or react? Are you afraid that they won't accept you if they new about this "something" that you've been hiding?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Momma Knows Best

Today's topic was inspired by my oldest daughter Lauren.

Lauren has a friend who likes a fragrance that I wear. A few years ago I found out that the fragrance was being discontinued, so I bought up a bunch of it.

At the time, Lauren's friend Vicky mentioned that she couldn't find the fragrance anywhere. So I gave Lauren a few bottles to give to her.

The other day, Lauren mentioned that Vicky asked if I had anymore bottles. Mind you, I have a bag full 'em.

I told her yes, and that I would be happy to give Vicky a couple more. I told Lauren to take a couple bottles with her to work because that's where she normally sees Vicky.

Lauren said, "Nah...it's alright. She won't be there today. I'll take 'em another day."

So I suggested that she at least take a couple of bottles and keep them in her car, that way when she saw Vicky again (whenever the next time would be), she'd have them with her.

Lauren insisted..."No. I'm not gonna see her today, and I'm not sure when I will." They worked different shifts so they didn't see each other often.

Again, I tried to make her understand that it wouldn't hurt to have the bottles in her car...just in case.

Well, as usual, Lauren (like most kids) decided to do her own thing, which usually means NOT doing what I suggested. After all...what do I know?

Finally, I decided to stop trying to make her understand my point and went about doing other things.

So I head off to work and as soon as I get there, a text comes in from "guess who". Wanna know what it said? Think you already know? Go 'head...give it a shot...what's your guess? (I'm humming the Jeopardy theme song while you guess). Okay, time's up.

If you guessed that her text was to tell me that Vicky was THERE, then you've guessed correctly. Vicky was there, and the fragrance was not.

I quicky responded with "When are you going to learn that I know EVERYTHING and am ALWAYS right :-) One day, you'll listen".

Lauren's reply, "Yea, I know."

But I wonder...does she really?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What did your parents warn you against, or try to tell you was right, yet you chose not to listen...only to find out later, that they were RIGHT?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Shhh!!!

Like most people, I have a few "pet peeves". Okay...maybe I have more than a few. Today, at a meeting that we had a work, I was inspired to write about one of them.

So we're at work and we had to have an "all on board" impromptu meeting, called by one of our Executives. We all gather in the room and as most people do when they gather in a room together, before the meeting began we engaged in light chit-chat. At my job lately there's hardly time to say more than "Good Morning" and "Good Night", so any chance that we get to actually "talk" with each other is going to be taken.

Soon after, our Executive walks to the front of the room which to me is a pretty clear indicator that the meeting is about to begin. So will someone answer this question for me PALEEZ...

Why do "adults" find it necessary to "Shush" a room filled with other "adults"? WHY? I mean really...are we not mature enough to notice (without being "shushed"), that a meeting is about to begin?

And this wasn't the first time that I've been in a room full of adults who were "Shushed" into being quiet. Maybe it's just me, but it just feels so kindergarten. Telling children to Shhh...I get that, but grown "A-double snakes" people??? Come on now!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What are your "pet peeves"? Have you been "shushed" lately?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Here yesterday, Gone now.

I wonder.

If I had known that the last time I had Pineapple Tart yogurt would be my LAST time, would I have savored it a bit more? Would I have filled my cup with twice as much? Would I have gone back the next day? Or the day after that? And the day after that until it was gone?

I hadn't been to my favorite frozen yogurt spot in a couple of months. So I headed over recently for a little treat. I got my bowl, and proceeded to the dispenser in the wall where I was ready to pull the lever and fill my cup with the good stuff. But wait...somethin' was different this time. Pineapple Tart wasn't where it should be. Hmmm. Maybe I missed it. Or maybe they moved it. So I went back to the beginning of the flavors and read the names very slowly...over and over...as if it were going to jump out and say "Here I am!". I did this for a while.

It wasn't there. :-(

Now I realize that this is just yogurt we're talking about, but it made me think about all of the other day to day things that we take for granted. Things that we just assume will be here tomorrow because they're here today. Jobs. Homes. Friends. Family. Health. Financial stability. But the fact is...much like my Pineapple Tart yogurt they can be gone tomorrow just as easily.

This experience was not new to me. I've experienced it a few times in my life.

My first time living on my own came this way. One day I lived home with my parents, the next day, I had no home.

The situation was similar with my last home. I lived there for 13 years, and then suddenly...out of no where, I had to move.

I had a good friend who I hung out with one night and exactly one week later, my friend died.

Maybe I was wrong to take such things and people for granted. The funny thing is, I didn't think I was taking anything for granted at the time. Those thoughts never entered into my mind. It's just the type of thing that doesn't really hit you, until it happens.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is there anything or anyone in your life that you just assume will always be here? I'll share a little secret with you...they won't.

I don't care so much about the "things" in your life that are important, but if you have any PEOPLE in your life who mean anything to you, let them know NOW.

Don't let them be like my Pineapple Tart yogurt...Here yesterday, Gone now. Let people know how you feel. Even if they think you're nuts for doing it (as most of my friends do about me), just do it anyway, and let me know what happens.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

I'm Baaack

Yes, it's been a while, but I'm back. As some of you may know, I had another blog under a different name, but to be quite honest, I felt like I was talking to myself and that's no fun, so I decided to start all over again here, at "The Dialogue Den", where hopefully YOU will join me in the conversation. Hence, the word...DIALOGUE.

So what shall we talk about today? I know...how about "fresh starts", "starting over", and all that good stuff.

This blog is a great example. For months I've been wanting to start over and get back to blogging. But fear from the way that the first blog turned out kept me from starting this one. I thought, "Hmmm, if I couldn't get people to be interactive on the first go round what makes me think that they'll chime in this time". Mind you, I didn't give it much time. Maybe people needed time to warm up. This time, I'm just going to keep coming back...even if I'm the only one that I'm talking to. One of these days I'll get you to come out of your shell :-)

What I've found during my time away is that my experience with the first blog isn't much different than everyday experiences that people go through. Especially when it comes to relationships. More specifically, relationships that have the potential of being rekindled. Yet one person (sometimes both, but usually just one), has so many memories of "things gone wrong" from the past relationship that they're not willing to step out and try again. Even when it's clear that the issues that were present the first time around are now long gone, people choose to live in the past, giving up all possibilities of "what could be". And "what could be", could actually be pretty nice. But until that fear of the past is conquered "what could be" will never be. How unfortunate...to give fear that much power. I choose to believe that the PRESENT has far more power than the PAST. But that's just me.

And that's how it is with this our new blog. I say "our" because WE are in this together. The only way that it'll work is with YOUR interaction.

I refused to let the fear of failure from my previous blogging attempt keep me from trying again. Who knows, maybe people didn't quite get what the first blog was all about (it was about Everything and Nothing...just like this one). Maybe people were just shy and afraid to post comments (Thank you to the two of you who DID post...you know who you are). And for you Mr./Ms. Shy...I've got a solution for you...YOU can post anonymously.

So with that being said...Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is there anything that you want to try again with a fresh start? If so, why haven't you? What's holding you back?

Talk to me.

Til next time...