Remembering ME

*** This post was originally drafted some time after November 9, 2014 and before April 23, 2016. Not sure of the exact date. Just realized that I never published it so thought I'd add the finishing touches.***

I've been thinking about death a lot lately. That tends to happen when someone you know and/or love passes away.

Soon after someone passes, if they are one of your friends on Facebook, you immediately begin to see the outpouring of love for that person. Memories are shared. Pictures are shared. And they give me a quick jolt of reality that one day, I too will die. That thought always leaves me to wonder what people will say about me when that happens? What pictures will they share (if any)? What kind words will they say about me (if any)? What impact will I have made on their lives (if any)?

I mean, these are things that I would like to know NOW while I am still alive, so that I can make improvements in areas that may need them. Although my hope is that when I die, I will have touched EVERYONE I know in a POSITIVE way that will have them more blessed for having known me, than if they had not. I would want people who "hear about me" to say, "Wow! Sounds like she was pretty special. Too bad I never got a chance to meet her."

But the reality is...not everybody will have flowery words to say. For those folks, I pray that God would pierce their hearts and make them realize that I wasn't who they thought I was. Had they taken time to actually get to know and UNDERSTAND me, they would have discovered that.

Two years before my Mom passed, she wrote her own obituary. She also knew who she WANTED to speak at her service, and who she DIDN'T. For the most part her wishes were honored...except for ONE person who I wish had kept his mouth shut, although even he acknowledged that his relationship with my Mom wasn't the best...so my thought was, WHY then did you get up to speak? Ugh! The things we do though to avoid "drama", so I let him have his 2 minutes and thankfully he was done.

I too have a list of those who I know could GENUINELY speak about me, and then there are others who don't really know me at all but would try to speak as if they did. Thank goodness I won't have to see any of that. I say that because I don't believe in "looking down from Heaven." I mean really...once one gets to Heaven...why on Earth would they EVER wanna "look down" and see all of the sadness and sorrow that occurs here? I mean, yeah...it would be cool if we could "look down" and only see "the GOOD stuff," but I just don't think that's how it works. I know that the majority of folks believe differently, and they get comfort in thinking that their loved ones "look down." If that gives them comfort, then so let it be.

But back to my original question. When my time comes, what WILL folks say about me?

I would hope that most would say the following:

• She loved helping and serving others.
• She loved children.
• She loved reading.
• She loved reading to children.
• She loved writing.
• She loved music.
• She loved to sing...and sang EVERYDAY.
• She loved to laugh and often made us laugh.
• She was downright funny.
• She was a loyal friend. If you told her something in secret, it stayed with her.
• She was trustworthy.
• She was forgiving (even to those who betrayed her the worst).
• She didn't have much to give financially, but what she could give, she did give.
• She tried to live a life that was pleasing to God.
• She failed at living a life that was pleasing to God...yet she continued to try.
• She prayed daily.
• She prayed for many.
• She prayed for those who loved her, and for those who SAID they loved her (but really didn't...she knew).
• She loved her kiddos: Lauren, Jordan and Terence.
• She may not have been the BEST Mom, but she did her best to be the best to them.
• She loved LOVE, even though love eluded her and never stuck around for very long.
• When she loved, she loved completely. And it took a LOT for that love to diminish. A WHOLE LOT.
• She loved nature.
• She saw the beauty in God's creation in many things that most folks overlooked.
• She appreciated every day that she had functioning EYESIGHT, as one of God's greatest gifts.
• She LOVED the ocean (her "Place of Peace").
• She always felt that she was living a life that was much too small for her.
• She hoped and prayed that she would one day grow into the life that God had purposed for her.
• Her presence was felt and brought positive energy to any space she occupied.
• Her presence was missed when she wasn't around.
• Her presence will be missed from this day forward.
• She loved the Lord with all her heart, mind and soul. She may not have always acted accordingly, but really, she did.
• Although she's no longer here on Earth, she is now happier that she ever was when she was here. This life was not always the kindest to her, and now those hurts will be no more.
• For those who loved her and want to see her again, BELIEVE in Christ as she did. Acknowledge that you are a sinner saved by grace. Confess that Jesus is Lord. Do those things and this will not have to be goodbye. It will simply be "see you later" and you WILL see her again.

So yeah. As morbid as this post may be to some, death is a reality for us ALL. But how many get to share...in advance...what they would like to be remembered for?

Think about it.

Then...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What do YOU want folks to remember about YOU?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Two Minutes

Almost every time someone dies, especially celebrities, we who are left tend to remember and say good things about the dearly departed. The same happens at funerals (or as we in my faith call them...HOMEGOING services).

Whenever I hear folks reflect on celebrities or those whose services I attend, I am always Always ALWAYS left wondering, "What will folks say about me after I die?"

Of course, I have my own ideas about what I would HOPE folks would say, but it sure would be nice to know before I go, exactly what would be said.

Would I be described as kind, loving, caring?

Creative, artsy, quirky?

Passionate?

Bitchy, moody, some-timey?

Giving, selfless, Servant of Christ?

Sexy, funny, talented?

In all honesty, depending on who'd be speaking, you very well may hear me described as ALL of those...and many more that I've surely left off.

I often find it unfortunate that the accolades and benevolent statements are made after the person is gone and can no longer hear them.

Oh, I know that there are many who believe that the dearly departed "look down from Heaven" and see all that we do -- which would include being able to hear the kind words that are said.

I however, being the eternal "oddballl" simply do not believe that those who leave this earthly life look down (or up) to see, monitor, protect and/or watch what their loved ones are doing.

Heck, my Mom has been in Heaven for seventeen months now. There is NO WAY that I would want her looking back on ANY of what she left. NO WAY!!! How could she POSSIBLY experience the fullness of JOY, and PEACE if she saw all that was going on here. She WOULDN'T.

So with the recent death of one of our music icons, I've been left again to wonder, "Just what will folks say about me?" Even as I write these words, the song, "Give Me My Flowers" rings through my head.

I believe that if folks would "give others their flowers" and kind words while living, this world would be a much better place, and people would know how much they are LOVED and APPRECIATED when it means the most...while they are still ALIVE and can hear the words.

Anyhoo...That's my soapbox for tonight.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What word(s) would YOU hope folks use to describe and remember you after your life here is done?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Where Are They Now?

So today's post is one that I have wanted to write since last Thursday, but have been reluctant to do so. My spirit however, has continued to be "prickled" and I know that it won't stop until I just go ahead and write the darned thing.

Since the unexpected death of one of our music icons last Thursday, I've felt a bit "troubled" about where he may be now.

One of my friend's posted something on the day of his death and at the end of her post she wrote, "I pray that he was saved." I prayed the same.

As the days progressed, more information about his faith was mentioned.

According to the Christian faith, Jesus is God, Jesus is the Son of God, Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior.

According to Romans 10:9, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

From what I understand, this individual's faith did not adhere to such belief. And that makes me sad, because it means that I (along with other followers of Christ) will never see him again. It also means that he is now experiencing ETERNAL separation from God. Something that I can not even BEGIN to imagine.

As much as I believe The Bible to be the TRUE, INERRANT WORD OF GOD...the bottom line is that NONE of us will ever know what REALLY happens after THIS life until we enter the next.

It's really troubling when I think about it. Not just because of this one artist, but because of the many who have died before him. And not just celebrities, but every-day folks who were once here and aren't any longer.

I have many friends who do not believe that Jesus is Lord, and that He died for our sins. They think that's all just part of a "man made" story, taken from the beliefs of other faiths that came before Christianity.

One thing's for sure...we can't ALL be right.

As much I enjoyed the music of the artist who just passed, and have enjoyed hearing about how generous and kind he was...I know that (according to the Word of God), none of that gets one into eternity with God. Belief in Christ is the ONLY way.

The other thing that's certain is that no one knows what happened in the last moments of this individual's life. Perhaps just before his last breath, he actually DID confess with his mouth that Jesus is Lord and believed in his heart that God raised him from the dead. Only he and God know for sure. But I sure hope...with my hope of hopes...that that is how it happened.

With a heavy sigh...Let the DIALOGUE begin: What do YOU think? Do all dogs go to heaven? And people too?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Ashes to Ashes...

My mother's ashes finally have a home.

Only her ashes though. Her spirit is at home with the Lord. It arrived there the moment she took her last breath here on Earth on November 9, 2014.

Her shell though...her body...still needed a place to be kept. My choice would have been to sprinkle her ashes but my Dad wanted to keep her close, and have them placed in an urn. I respect that, and so that is where they will be kept.

I think he did a great job of choosing one. I was going to pick one out but didn't have the money to actually order it, so I think he got tired of waiting on me and just did it himself. Once again, my financial situation was an obstacle. Had I chosen, I probably would've gotten this one too.

I love the blue, and the birds...which I will call doves...symbols of peace.

It's amazing to think that this small vessel will hold what was once such a grand woman...the woman who nurtured me, raised me, loved me. But then again, it's only her body (or the remains thereof) that are in there. My MOTHER...will not be in that vessel. My MOTHER is in Heaven, and one day I will see her again. Not recognized by ashes, but by the essence of who she was. I will know her the moment I see her. That thought gives me more joy than anyone can possibly imagine.

Now,Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever had to choose an urn for anyone? If so, what did it look like?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Who REALLY Has the Last Word?

So a couple days ago a friend of mine posted on Facebook about this new thing where you can designate someone to have access to your page and post on your behalf AFTER DEATH.

I thought it was a joke. I mean really...what's the point? Why would anybody want that?

Well...today ANOTHER friend posted in more detail about the subject and apparently it's REALLY an option. It's called a "Legacy Contact" and so that you can see what it's all about for yourself, I will include the link to the info at the bottom of this post.

But it really made me think. Personally, I find it a bit creepy. When I die, that's it...I don't want ANYBODY posting on my behalf. I mean...who can say what I say better than me? NOBODY. I have my own voice and wouldn't want anyone else trying to mimic it.

And let's be honest...folks don't "get me" as it is while I'm alive...I can only imagine someone trying to "get me" after my earthly life is over. NO THANKS, I'LL PASS.

Now, I understand that even without this whole "Legacy Contact" thing, folks would still be able to post on my page, and I have no problem with that. My only issue is having folks post AS ME.

From what I understand, sometimes families will want a deceased person's page removed (for whatever reason), and I understand that too. But I think it's also kinda nice to just leave the page "as is".

When I think about my own page, I think of it as the "legacy" that I will leave behind for others to remember who I was and what I was about in this life. This is the primary reason why I keep 99% of my posts positive and upbeat. A)Because that really IS how I am in life, and B)Who wants to look back on a bunch of angry, bitter, negative, sad posts? That's NOT how I EVER want to be remembered. So you will find VEERRRYYYY little of that on MY page.

Interestingly, I've often wondered if folks WILL post anything on my page after I'm gone, and if so, how much of it will even get through. After having one too many hideous photos of myself posted, I quickly learned how to set my page to where I have to review most stuff in order for it to show up on my timeline. So...if I'm not here to review it...hmmm...

Enough about me though.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Would you want someone posting on YOUR behalf after you're gone?

Talk to me (while I'm alive)!

Til next time...

https://www.facebook.com/help/1568013990080948

Missed Calls

Last night, after a typically exhausting day, I crawled into bed at around 10:00.

My phone rang at 11:25. Didn't hear it.
It rang again at 11:27. Didn't hear it.
Another ring at 11:28. Heard it, but missed the call.

I looked at the display and saw that it was my dad calling. He NEVER calls this late, nor this many times. Before I dialed back I already knew why he was calling.

My Mom was gone. Passed away. Transitioned. No longer living life here on Earth.

I got my clothes on and headed over to "the facility". That's all that I can really bring myself to call it. Just, "the facility".

I cried a bit on the drive over, and completely fell apart when I walked into her room and saw her lying there, neatly tucked in as if she were ready for bed. Eyes closed. Sound asleep. No longer breathing.

I had no idea when I sat by her bed just 7 hours earlier that that would be the LAST time I would see my mother alive. She was resting peacefully and I didn't want to disturb her. So I did what I'd done numerous times since that life-changing day on September 17th. I sat and watched. Watched her body sometimes twitch uncontrollably. Watched her mouth move as she heavily engaged in conversation somewhere in the place where sleep had taken her. Watched her eyes as they sometimes rolled farther back in her head than I thought was normal. I softly let her know that I was there and depending on how far in she was, she'd either acknowledge me, or she wouldn't. Yesterday, she didn't. So I let her rest.

After a while I gathered my things and told her I loved her. It didn't really matter if she heard me or not. She'd heard me say it many times before and without a doubt I knew that she knew I meant it.

As my dad, my brothers, and I sat and discussed what was "next", I was tasked to call the mortuary. Me! What do I know about calling mortuary's? Nothing. Not a dag gon thing!

But I did it and eventually they arrived. Well, one man arrived.

I stood by the doorway and watched as he snuggly wrapped my Mom up in her sheets, then strapped her to the gurny thingy. Covered her up from head to toe, and wheeled her away.

That was the last that I will ever see of my mother her on Earth.

Needless to say, it's been an emotional rollercoaster of a day. One minute I'm completely fine. The next, I have tears rolling down my face from out of nowhere. I'm sure that this will be pretty common for who knows how long. One thing is certain...I WILL see my mother again. And until that time I will simply rejoice in the fact that she is in the presence of the Lord. In the presence of the Lord! HALLELUJAH!!!

We can Dialogue if you want to but it seems that not too many folks actually talk to me here in "The Den". It's a bit heartbreaking at times, yet nevertheless...I write.

Let the Dialogue begin: Has YOUR mother already left her life here on Earth? If so, how are you holding up?

Talk to me...PLEASE!

Til next time...

Rest At SEA

I've been wanting to write this one for a while but fear of seeming strange and weird has kept me from it.

Oh well...here goes nothin'.

Before I share my weirdness, I'll as YOU the question: Have you given thought to where your BODY will go after you die? Do you want to be buried (in the ground), buried (in a wall tomb), cremated? If cremated, do you want to be couped up in an urn to sit on top of your family's fireplace, or do you want your ashes scattered atop a mountain or into the ocean? Just some things to think about.


Well, as for ME...I want none of the above.

I don't want to be "buried" because I HATE coffins. Everytime I see one I wonder how anybody could ever breathe in one of those things. And on top of that, it's gotta go six feet into the ground with dirt thrown on top...SIX FEET! NO THANK YOU.

Being buried inside a wall is no better. You're still trapped in that airless coffin and sealed...IN A WALL. Ummm, I'll pass.

Then there's CREMATION. No way Jose! Not for this chick. I REALLY don't wanna be stuck in an oven and roasted to a crisp. Ouch, ouch, ouch...TOO hot!

So...for ME...here's what I want.

I want to be wrapped up in a biodegradable bag and then taken out to sea...7 miles, 14 miles, 21 miles...any increment of seven miles out...and then TOSS ME OVERBOARD.

Yes! Just like that. I just wanna float with the ocean for as long as I'm able. If I end up sinking, that's ok. If some sea creature comes along and eats me for lunch, that's ok. I just don't wanna be stuck in the ground and I don't wanna be roasted in an oven. NO NO NO!!!

So yeah, I get that it's weird, but then again, why should I be any normal in death than I ever was in life. I've always been a bit of a "free thinker", and these are my "free thoughts" on what I want done with my body after I die.

Oh, and for the sake of a homegoing service, I guess folks will need somewhere to put me for that, so how 'bout RENTING a casket, just for that purpose and then return if afterward. And do NOT stick me in a dress. Absolutely NO!

I wish to be buried, laid to rest, whatever you wanna call it, in BLUE JEANS and a BROWN T-shirt. If shoes are necessary, then stick me in sandals or flip-flops. But by NO MEANS do I wanna be buried in a "church lady dress". NO WAY!!! I wanna go in what I loved in LIFE. Jeans, t-shirt, sandals/flip-flops.

So there ya have it. Pretty specific, ain't it. Well, sometimes, and for matters as important as these, a person HAS to be specific.

Oh, and lastly...none of that "life saving measures" mess. If ever I need to be "plugged in" in order to keep "living", my wish is to be "unplugged" after 7 days...SEVEN...that's it. If you unplug me and I go home to be with the Lord, then so let it be. And if I'm unplugged and am able to resume life at the same quality that I had BEFORE the plugs, then so let that be too.

If I need to be fed, changed, bathed, can't communicate, etc...well, we're gonna have to work somethin' out 'cause that's not gonna work for this girl.

I hope this post wasn't too much of a downer, but let's face it...we are ALL gonna go ONE DAY. Ideally, I wanna be "caught up" when Jesus comes back to get His people, but just in case that doesn't happen before I'm called Home, then everything mentioned above is what needs to be.

Oh, and most important is this: I get that NONE of this "after-death" stuff should even matter because my soul will be in Heaven and I will have NO IDEA whether my wishes were honored. In Heaven, there is no looking back to Earth, so really...it won't matter. If I'm cremated, I'll never know. I've I'm buried underground or stuck in a drawer, I'll never know. So whatever happens...it's all good.

Now...Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's YOUR "after-death" housing plan?

Talk to me!

Til next time...