Moving Forward

Today I attended service for the 2nd time at the church that I visited last week.

I must say...with every church I visit, God reveals something new to me. And I really feel that He's saying, "You're doing the right thing. Don't stop. Keep visiting."

For those who've followed The Dialogue Den for a while, you know that I was reluctant to embark upon my "Season of Visitation" because my pastor has always warned against "eating from too many spiritual tables." He says that the result can lead to "spiritual diarrhea." So for that reason, I waited at LEAST two years before I began my journey. What I realize now though, is that I'm not actually "eating from too many spiritual tables." I am still "eating" what is being served by Christ, by way of The Bible.

Now maybe if I were visiting places of worship of other faiths, then perhaps I would get "sick" and confused. But I have been attending CHRISTIAN, Bible-believing, Bible-teaching churches...so it is well with my soul.

Interestingly, I believe that I am actually growing SPIRITUALLY in ways that I would not have been had I not decided to do this.

So...back to today's visit.

This one actually has a story behind it. That story centers around "Joe."

As you may recall..."Joe" and I had a bit of a "falling out" and I hadn't seen nor heard from him since May 24th. Something happened that I was having an EXTREMELY difficult time forgiving him for.

There have even been times when I wanted to write a SCATHING letter to him...telling him how I felt, and a whole lotta other stuff that wasn't very "Christ-like." I never wrote it though.

Oh, I wrote, and re-wrote it HUNDREDS of times IN MY HEAD...but I never put the words to paper. Didn't mean that I didn't WANT to...just meant that I hadn't gotten around to it.

So we fast forward to the Friday before last which was the day that I selected the next church to visit from my bowl.

Wouldn't you know it. The church I selected was the one that "Joe" pretty much grew up in. Attended service, sang in the choir, etc.

I went last Sunday on what I think was the new Pastor's very first day of delivering the message. The church is 66 years old and he is only the 3rd Pastor they've had there. That's pretty good as churches go.

I enjoyed the message, and looked forward to returning this Sunday.

Days passed and I went on about my merry way. Still no word from "Joe"...and I still hadn't written the letter.

On Thursday night though..."something" happened. I actually posted about this a couple days ago, but I'll briefly recount it here as well.

Before our "falling out", I prayed for "Joe" DAILY. Asking nothing less than for God to BLESS him. Since the "falling out", those prayers became less and less frequent until I finally just stopped praying for him altogether. I didn't pray for any harm to come to him...I just stopped praying PERIOD.

Until...last Thursday night.

I was tired, but couldn't sleep. Found myself up waaay later than I should have been for a work night.

I eventually headed to bed and before I got in, I knelt down beside it and prayed...for "Joe." Even though I didn't know where he was or how he was doing...God knew. Interestingly, I found myself once again praying for him to be BLESSED.

Now if you knew what he had done to me, (and only THREE people do), you would say, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? You really want God to BLESS him?!?"

I know...it doesn't make sense in a "worldly" sense, but from the Christian standpoint, I had to forgive him, and...ask that he be BLESSED, not CURSED. "The world" doesn't understand that, and never will. "The world" is all about hurting them as badly or worse than they hurt you. "The world" is all about VENGEANCE.

Christ however, understands it fully, and since He is the ONLY one I need to answer to, it behooves me to do things as He would do, and not "the world."

So, I said my prayer and went to sleep.

Hours later, the phone rang. I didn't get to it in time. I looked to see who it was, and rolled back over.

It rang again. It was "Joe" and I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say, nor did I want to hear what HE had to say (at least I didn't think so.)

It rang again. This time I answered.

I didn't say much. I may have only said "Hello."

He did most of the talking. As he spoke I realized that the call was as much for him as it was for me. Maybe even moreso for him. As I listened to the words flow from his mouth to my ears, I realized then why I hadn't written the letters. I realized then, why I had forgiven him even when I didn't know if I'd ever hear from him again. I needed to release the anger, bitterness and hurt, so that there could be room for love, kindness and understanding.

I wish I could share all the things he said, but some things are only meant for the two parties involved (and God.) All I know is that it changed things...positively.

I don't know where he and I will go from here. I just know that wherever we go, either separate or together...we can go with forgiveness and love leading the way.

Was it an accident that "Joe's" church was the one that was pulled from my bowl? If you know me, then you already know my answer.

Maybe God needed me to sit in the place where "Joe" once did, so that I could feel a connection...ANY kind of connection that would soften my heart toward him. What better place to be re-connected than in the same place where he once praised and worshiped God. With God, there are no mistakes, or accidents. Everything happens for a reason.

As I do each time I visit, I'll have you to know that today (and last Sunday), I attended Greater Ebenezer Missionary Baptist Church in Los Angeles. Who knows. Maybe today wasn't my last time. Perhaps one day I'll go again...with "Joe."

On this "30 Days of THANKFULNESS: Day 27" - I am THANKFUL Christ being the PERFECT example of FORGIVENESS.
Without His example, I'd be holding on to a WHOLE LOTTA stuff that would slowly be eating me up inside. That my friends, is simply no way to live.

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is there anyone you need to forgive. Or are you harboring unforgiveness because in YOUR mind...what that person did to you is simply UNFORGIVEABLE? Think about that before you answer. Then think about ALL that Christ has forgiven YOU for. Then answer.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Because He said so!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "I'm angry, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"?

Well...that's about where I am today. Not so much "angry", but frustrated by what I've been reading...and I just couldn't take it anymore, so here I am.

Most of this country (and probably in places across the globe) are aware of the heinous act of hatred that took place last week in South Carolina. Since that horrific incident, many of the victims' families have spoken out, and expressed FORGIVENESS toward the monster who committed the crime.

When I heard those family members speak, I remember thinking to myself, "They get it. As followers of Christ, they are doing EXACTLY what they have been commanded to do. God is well pleased." Yes...that was my thought. What so many folks are not understanding is that, just because these families have extended forgiveness, doesn't make them weak, doesn't mean that they didn't love those whose lives were taken in that horrific act of violence, doesn't mean that they condone what the monster did (I REFUSE to mention his name!) It simply means that they don't just READ the Word of God, but they LIVE it. That's HUGE!!! So many Christians...in fact...TOO MANY Christians, are just flippin' through the pages. Not these people. They are more than just "hearers of the Word", they are "DOERS".

When I heard their statements, I stopped and thought, "Would I do the same? Could I do the same?" The answers to both of those questions for me, are YES. Would it be easy? OF COURSE NOT!!! But would I, could I? YES.

How? You might ask.
Why? You might ask.

My answer: Because of Christ. Plain and simple.

As His follower, I must forgive as I expect to be forgiven. That's what it says in God's Word.

Then there are those who say, "You don't know WHAT you would do, until you are in that situation." Yeah yeah...I've read that a zillion times since last week's tragedy. I pray that I will never be put in that situation, yet...if I am going to trust in God's Word...ALL OF IT, then I would HAVE to forgive. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

Am I a perfect Christian? Nope. Far from it.
Do a live my life to every letter of God's Word. Not hardly. In fact, I miss the mark DAILY.

But am I accountable for what God's Word says and how I am to apply it to my life, YES!

Here's the thing...No, I have never suffered (directly or indirectly) from such an act as what happened last week, but if I did (and again, I pray that I'll never have to), I know what I must do.

My flesh would not want to forgive, but my Spirit knows that I must. For two reasons: One, because (I know I'm about to sound like a broken record), God's Word COMMANDS me to, and Two, because holding on to such hatred, anger and bitterness will only eat ME up inside. I know a lot of folks who are holding on to negativity for far lesser reasons, and although they don't even realize it, I can see it eating away at them. They're angry all the time...belligerent all the time...want to argue all the time. Where is the JOY in that?!? Me, I have too much living to do...too much JOY to experience. There is NO WAY that I would allow that monster to rob me of my joy...absolutely NO WAY!

Now I completely understand how folks who don't believe in Christ can say that they would never, could never forgive such an act. I get that completely, because THAT is the way of the world. So it only makes sense to react as "the world" would react. Christians are "not of this world", so we are to act accordingly.

Would I be angry if someone brutally murdered (or even injured) one of my friends or family members? YES, of course. I would be angry, sad, want the same kind of harm (or worse) to come to the perpetrator, but...will harboring all of that negativity bring my friend or family member back? Will it heal their wounds? NO. It will simply lead ME to a very sad, slow, bitter death. That's just not the way that I choose to live the days that God gives me. If it's the way that YOU choose to live YOUR life, then knock yourself out. As for me...I choose FORGIVENESS and JOY.


Now...Let the DIALOGUE begin: For my Christian brothers and sisters, would you forgive? Could you forgive? Do you think that you could but maybe just not this soon? How long would it take? What if you die before you forgive?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Changing Seasons

Here's what I know: Some people relish in anger and bitterness. They thrive on it. The need to be right (even though there is no right or wrong in a particular issue) outweighs the need to reconcile. When forgiveness is an option, they decline it because they would rather harbor the anger than heal the hurt.

Here's what I also know: I am NOT one of those people. As a follower of Christ, I can't be.

I've said that to say this. I have a "friend" (we'll call her "Friend A") who has chosen to end our friendship over $58.OO. Yep, that's right...FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS!

Fifty eight dollars that she assumed I wasn't going to repay her. Fifty eight dollars that I offered to pay her since another friend of mine could not afford to. Now...for anyone who knows my current financial situation, I do NOT have fifty eight dollars (or any dollars) to spend on ANYTHING that I can't use. But when I was informed that "friend B" simply couldn't afford to pay, instead of footing "freind A" with the bill, I willingly offered to pay it. Although I have text messages between myself and "Friend B" stating just that, "Friend A" jumped straight to the conclusion that she wouldn't get her money and hasn't spoken to me in over a month, almost 2. I have even mailed money to "Friend A" to reimburse her for the expense and she is now returning the mail. I'm sure that she's not returning it as a way of saying, "It's ok. I understand your situation, so I want you to keep the money." No...this is her way of flipping the finger at me and saying, "You can keep your effing money!"

At this point, I am DONE. I have sooo many other issues that warrant my attention right now, and I have cried too many tears over what I lies ahead. Trying to figure out what I did wrong "this time", and without her actually picking up the phone and telling me...is just more than I can handle right now. In every friendship/relationship, I am ALWAYS the one to reach out and do "damage control"...ALWAYS. At this point, I am tired of trying to fix what I don't even know is broken. I have nothing to apologize for because I have done NOTHING wrong. I have attempted to make things right...because I valued our friendship. What I now know is that to "Friend A", our friendship was only worth FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS. I was only worthy FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS.

That's ok. The book of Ecclesiastes states that "to everything there is a time and a season." Apparently, (by her choice and behavior), our season is over. I never thought we'd end up here, and this is never what I wanted. Yet I'm not going to force ANYONE to stay in a friendship with me that they do

n't want to be in. That's not friendship. Yet, as hurt as I am by this whole thing, I move on without any ill-will or hard feelings. I pray that God continues to bless her and her remaining friendships. One thing I know with absolute certainty though is this: I am a good person, a loyal and loving friend. NO ONE can deny that about me...NO ONE.

So as I deal with changes that I have experienced since June 13th, the MAJOR change that happened yesterday and HUGE life-changer that is to take place tomorrow...I will continue to pray for her (whether she wants me to or not), because again...that is what Christ, my Lord and Savior COMMANDS me to do in Matthew 5:43-48.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."

And for any of you who may be reading this right now...those of you who believe and pray in the name of JESUS...please lift me up in prayer if you would. God has heard from me an awful lot recently, and it seems that I need Him more and more each day as I face things that are completely out of my control. Nevertheless, I believe in His sovereignty and ask that His will be done.

So...if you knew even HALF of what I'm dealing with right now (alone and by myself), you would understand why I must forgive, and move on. I simply can not harbor unforgiveness and expect God to hear and answer my prayers (Matthew 6:12). I need Him to hear and answer every prayer...every single one.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What MAJOR life-changing events are YOU facing right now? Whatever they may be, rest assured that God has ALL things in control...ALL things.

Talk to me!

Til next time...