Where you at?

With the advances in technology and the worldwide usage of Facebook, it's become much easier to share where we are, who we're with, what we're doing, with just a touch of a button.
I'm pretty sure that 99.99% of Facebook users have "checked in" to a place at least ONCE. At least!

I "check in" often, however those who know me well know that I am very specific as to when I "check in." If you're a friend of mine and you are reading this, you've probably already said to yourself, "Yes, I know. You 'check in' when you are LEAVING a place...NOT when you ARRIVE."

Yep. That's how I do it.

I dunno. It's not that I'm so popular that folks are just gonna roll up on me. I just don't like disclosing my location...until I've LEFT the location, or am on my way out. That's just me.

I get a little giggle when I'm out with friends who like to "check in" when we arrive and they'll stop before posting and say, "Hey, are you okay if I check us in now?" That's how well they know me.

I typically say yes. I mean really, who am I...the Facebook Police? It's YOUR page, and YOUR post. I have NO right to tell someone that they can or can not post something. If it truly bothered me, I would ask that I not be tagged. But, it doesn't, and even if I am "tagged," it doesn't show up on MY page until I "allow" it on my timeline, so...it all works out.

In my case, most of my "check ins" have been at churches; my own, along with the ones I've visited. I don't really need folks to know every time I dine out, or go to Costco, or things like that. But I love sharing where I've worshiped. So after service is over (before I leave), I "check in" and post the title of that day's message along with the Scripture(s) that message came from. I do this because I understand that many folks don't go to church. Can't tell you how many times I've read or heard my friends say, "I don't do 'organized religion'." That's okay. I don't either. I do "relationship with Christ." BIG difference. However, in my '"relationship," I have been compelled to share God's message with others in the hopes that someone (even if it's only ONE person) will be inspired to look into God's Word (in whatever setting is comfortable for them), and in the process, also develop a "relationship with Christ." That's my small way of sharing The Gospel.

For the most part, I think "check ins" are great. I've found some great restaurants to try as a result of my friend's "check ins." And the churches that I have visited have also come by way of my friend's "check ins." So for me, they've proven to be beneficial.

In some cases though, I've found "check ins" to be potentially detrimental. This is when it comes to children. My skin crawls just a wee bit whenever I see a friend checking in at their child's school. When my kids were younger, I never did that until it was their LAST day of school...at that school.

I mean, I get it. The only folks seeing the post are "friends" so there should be no harm with any of them knowing where a child attends school. But in the grand scheme of things...this is THE INTERNET, so you just never know where info will end up. When it comes to children, I don't think it's wise to take such a risky chance. Heck, even when my daughters were in college, I was reluctant to post when I was at their schools. College! So yeah. If I had my druthers, I would caution parents to STOP posting where their children (at least in grades pre-k thru 12) go to school. But that's just me, and everyone is entitled to raise their children however they see fit as long as it isn't causing any harm.

Well...that's my rant for the day.

Now it's your turn. Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you "check in" on Facebook? If so, have you ever given any thought to when you do so?

Talk to me, and tell me...where you at?!?

Til next time...

All Grown Up

I gotta tell ya...

Most days I'm a pretty proud Mom. Other days I am EXCEPTIONALLY proud. Today is one of those days.

I have three children. I would say that they've all done, and are doing well. Good people (ask ANYBODY who knows them), intelligent, absolute blessings.

My oldest daughter Lauren is a Cal State Long Beach graduate and does AMAZING work with children who have autism. It takes a very special type of person to do the work that she does. EXTRAORDINARILY patient, and loving.

My youngest daughter Jordan is a Cal State Northridge graduate and also does WONDERFUL work with children. She is also a writer (wonder where she gets that from), and is working on her first book which comes out in August.

My son Terence graduated from high school last Wednesday. TODAY he went on his very first interview EVER...and was HIRED ON THE SPOT! The hiring manager told him that she liked the way he was dressed and was impressed by his confidence.

That's how it's done!

Go in there with your head held high, KNOWING that the job (whatever it is one is applying for), is YOURS!

So on this day,"30 Days of THANKFULNESS: Day 4" - I am THANKFUL for having children who have all grown to be OUTSTANDING members of society. They have never been in any trouble, they help others whenever possible, and everyone who knows them LOVES them. It is an absolute honor to call them mine. They make me proud each and every day.

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you remember what your first job was? Mine was at Stride Rite in the Carson Mall.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Tassels to the Left

Tonight's post...short and sweet.

Just got home from attending my son's high school graduation (and dinner).

All I can say is that there wasn't a parent more proud of their child than I was of mine. And that's REAL talk!

Not sure what he'll do next. He's a creative type like me so I pray that he finds his way into the CAREER of his dreams...one that matches his God given PURPOSE. And may he never, ever, EVER find himself TRAPPED in a cubicle. Cubicles KILL dreams...or at the very least...defer them considerably.

Seriously. I'm sure that if we polled ALL of the graduates and asked what their dreams and goals are for the future...not a one...not a SINGLE one would say, "I want to work in a cubicle." Nope. NOBODY is going to say that!

Mind you...I'm thankful for my cubicle job. It puts food on our table and keeps a roof over our heads.

Nevertheless, I don't EVER want the dreams of ANY of my children to be KILLED or DEFERRED by "cubicle work." I pray that they all do well...and BETTER than their Mom. After all...isn't that what EVERY parent wants for their child(ren)? For the children to go farther in life than the parents? Yes...it is.

Now...to the Class of 2016 EVERYWHERE...CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Do well. Show the world what you're made of...and LIVE your PURPOSE.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What were YOUR goals when you graduated from high school? Did you fulfill them?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Time Flies...

On this day 25 years ago I received a welcomed surprise.

At 5:59 a.m. I got the meet the little baby I'd been calling "Matthew" for the previous 9 months. I had only had ONE ultrasound during the pregnancy and that was VERY early on...so in my mind, we were having a BOY.

"It's a girl!", the nurse announced.

I was like, "Huh???"

So they said it again.

Hmmm...

As I was processing the fact that my "Matthew" was actually a GIRL...the next thing I hear is, "Look at this baby's hair!"

What? What about her hair? What's wrong with her hair? Can I see it???

They actually took her OUT of the delivery room to show her hair to the other nurses.

I'm still laying there waiting for MY TURN to see MY BABY that I had just given birth to.

So...they bring her back in and I see what all the fuss was about. I had a little "readhead." A BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE little REDHEAD.

That was another thing for me to process.

Where did the RED hair come from? NO ONE in the family had red hair...at least no one living. And there hasn't been anyone since.

I gotta tell ya...that hair has been quite the attention-getter...from day one even until now. EVERYWHERE Lauren goes, that hair turns heads.

I still remember the STUPIDITY of people who would come up to me, holding my brand spanking new baby in my arms, or pushing her in the stroller and they'd ask, "Is that her NATURAL color?"

I would just look at them with a face that said, "Are you SERIOUSLY asking that question? SERIOUSLY?!?"

They'd soon get what I was givin' and would realize the ignorance of their question.

This went on for years! Now she gets women who wanna know "What box number" her hair color is...as in DYE. Folks still don't get it.

Anyhoo...my little redhead is 25 years old today and she has made me EXTREMELY proud over the years.

She's a really sweet young lady, loves the Lord, loves children...especially those with special needs. She's a hard worker and just got accepted to Grad school. Yep...my kid's pretty cool, and it is an absolute BLESSING to be her Momma.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: For those of you who are parents, did you get any "surprises" with any of YOUR children?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

And...HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!!

A Boy and His Dog

For the majority of my professional career I have worked for fairly large corporations in corporate cubicled offices. The rules within those corporations tended to be fairly stringent and there wasn't a whole lotta room for flexibility.

Well...on October 27th I began working for a new company. Although their name is big within the industry that I am now in, my actual office is VERY small compared to what I'm used to. VERY small. Because it's so small, the rules are a lot more lenient. EVERYDAY is casual day...which I LOVE. And...dogs are allowed in the office, at ANY time. No pre-approval needed. Just bring your pooch. I'm cool with that too (even though I'm allergic).

So...yesterday one of our contractors came in with his son. A rambunctious, yet very sweet little 10 year old OVERFLOWING with energy. Loud energy! Along with the boy, was his dog.

They were there all day and their presence was undeniable. When the boy, (who I'll call Edgar) introduced me to his dog "Bandit", he told me that the Bandit bonds by feeding him. So Edgar gave me some kibble and Bandit ate from my hand. At that point, we'd bonded.

Throughout the day Edgar and Bandit would walk by my desk...sometimes stopping...other times not.

THEN...out of nowhere, Edgar walks by, picks up Bandit and puts him RIGHT IN MY LAP. Ok...did you read the part earlier where I said that I'm ALLERGIC.

So I pet Bandit for a bit, put him down, and immediately head to the bathroom to wash my hands and get as much fur off of me as possible. Otherwise I would have sneezed FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!

Now mind you, I love little kids, and I love dogs. I just know my limits when it comes to dogs. If I know that I can quickly get to a change of clothes, then I'll play with a dog for as long as my allergies will allow. But at work...knowing that there are HOURS left before I can change...that's just no bueno.

So...yesterday came and went and I headed back to work this morning.

Lo and behold...Edgar, Bandit (and Edgar's Dad) were back for another day. OK!

THIS day however, was much different than yesterday.

Yes, Edgar was still rambunctious and Bandit was all over the place, but today, I got to know Edgar's story...and it changed everything for me.

As I said earlier...Edgar is 10.

Edgar's Mom passed away from a heart attack 10 months ago. *Right there is where I just about lost it. It seems that no matter how old or young a person is, as SOON as I learn that their Moms are no longer here, I immediately connect with them. Like we're all members of this exclusive club that nobody really WANTS to be in, yet somehow, we get thrown into.*

Edgar was the one who found his Mom.

Edgar is bi-polar and has ADHD.

Edgar now lives with his Dad and Grandma, and while school is out for winter break, he's been hanging with his Dad at work. There were times today when I could see how exasperated Edgar's Dad was, so I'd hang out with Edgar for a bit, to give his Dad a break.

Bandit was a Christmas gift from Edgar's Mom...just 2 months before she passed away. *Are you crying yet? I am.*

Edgar needs Bandit, and in some crazy way...I think that Bandit knows that.

As I posted earlier today on Facebook, "Everyone has a story that is worth being told...and heard." You see...Edgar has a story. I didn't know his story yesterday so I thought he was just some "wild and out" kid who needed a bit of discipline. But after HEARING his story I realized that all Edgar really needs is LOVE, SUPPORT, (medication to balance out his levels), and his buddy BANDIT. As long as he gets all of that, Edgar will be A-Ok.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you find yourself pre-judging folks, or do you ALWAYS hear their story first?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

MY baby, YOUR baby...they're all OUR babies.

So yesterday as I reflected on Dr. King's Dream, I made several points about what it will take for that dream to become reality. As I read through the news headlines earlier today two of those points smacked me right in the face:

When mothers and fathers stop burying their young sons who were shot and KILLED by someone who looked liked their son...that's when the dream becomes reality.

When mothers and fathers stop burying their young sons who were shot and KILLED period...that's when the dream becomes reality.

I'm sure that those who read yesterday's post probably thought I was going off on some kind of rant. Well, maybe I was. And justifiably so. As long as headlines like this one are in the news, my rants will be 100% justified:

"Oakland mother grieves after two sons gunned down 19 days apart"

19 DAYS APART!!! Yes. This mother lost her 13 year old son on New Year's Eve, and her 19 year old son this past Sunday. Both of her babies are gone...dead...MURDERED. And for what???

It just breaks my heart. Every time I hear of someone who loses a child to gun violence (and I hear it far too often), I have the exact same thought each time. I didn't have MY baby so that YOUR baby could KILL my baby. This is my thought EVERY SINGLE TIME.

No. None of the slain have been my child. THANK GOD! Yet, somehow, I feel connected to each one who's lost. They may not be MY baby, but they were SOMEBODY'S baby. And that's enough for me to be concerned.

So what's it gonna take for the killing to stop?

Community involvement - Yes
Getting the ILLEGAL guns off the streets - Yes
Getting the churches involved - Yes
Parental involvement (as in...knowing what ones children are doing...when and where) - Yes
Getting law enforcement involved at a proactive level instead of reactive - Yes
Programs at the elementary school level that raise awareness about gun violence and how to avoid being caught up in it - Yes

Those are just a few of my bright ideas.

What we DON'T need is for folks to point fingers and place blame on the parents who have lost their children. After every news story I read, I always read the comments. And the comments 99% of the time are filled with hate and negativity. In this particular case, everyone's blaming the mother because her sons had different last names which apparently lessened her value as a mother. Well EXCUSE ME, but my last name differs from that of MY brothers and my mother is no less of a mother because of it. So those folks and their assumptions can SHOVE IT!

How 'bout a little compassion for this woman! She just lost her only two children...within 19 days of each other. I say that a bit of compassion is the least we can offer.

Am I angry! You bet I am. I've had enough of mothers and fathers burying their children due to senseless violence. I've been to too many funerals of young people who never made it to 21. Enough is enough! The killing has GOT to stop. It has to.

So, with tear-filled eyes, let the DIALOGUE begin: What do YOU think it'll take in order for these senseless killings of our youth to stop?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

From The Mouths Of Babes

So my daughter Lauren works at a park. Every now and then she comes home with a funny story about the kids that are part of the park program.

Last night, she told me a story about her friend's young niece that reminded me of a story about my youngest daughter Jordan when she was little.

Lauren told me that the friend's niece was at the nail shop when a VERY VERY LARGE woman walked in. As the woman went to sit down in the chair to get her feet done the little girl looked at her with a fretful face and shouted, "NOOO, it's gonna break!"

Now...adults know better than to say such things (even if it may have been true), but children don't have "filters". They tell it like it is. Not saying that it's right, but it is what it is.

So that incident reminded me of one that happened when my daughter Jordan was 3 years old.

Now I'm a big woman...plus-sized, overweight, fat...call it what you will. So I have to shop at the "big girl" stores.

So when Jordan was 3, I had her with me while I shopped at Lane Bryant. As we're in line at the register Jordan notices the VERY VERY Large woman in front of us and she says to me, "Mommy, that lady is a big ol' fat".

I was sooo embarrassed and wanted to crawl under a rock. I apologized to the woman and told Jordan that her words were not nice and that she needed to apologize. So she goes up to the woman and says in her adorable little 3 year old voice, "Lady, I'm sorry you're a big ol' fat."

Ok. At that point I needed someone to DROP a rock ON me.

That wasn't quite the apology I meant, but I understood that in her 3 year old mind, the apology was sufficient. At the very least, it was honest. Which leads us to today's topic...

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever heard a child say?

Talk to me!

Til next time...