Please Be Patient, God Isn't Finished With Me Yet.

My plan today was to write about Southern New Year's Day culinary traditions in honor of something I made yesterday that I'd never made before, and probably won't ever make again. I pretty much made it just to see if I could. I did, and it turned out well. Now I know.

Instead though, I find myself at these keys with a heavy heart.

Living life misunderstood is difficult, and quite tiring. Yet once again, I (or at the very least, my words) have been misunderstood.

I really don't get it. I try to be kind to all I come in contact with, however...I AM NOT PERFECT. I am HUMAN and have human FEELINGS. My life is not all "flowers and butterflies." Yes, I have hurt people (and probably will again at some point in my life), and I have BEEN hurt considerably MORE. I know I will sound like a broken record here, but -- when it has been brought to my attention that I have hurt someone, I have made every effort to right the wrong. In return however, that correction is not typically made toward me. Maybe it's my soft-spoken demeanor, but folks think they can commit any offense against me, and we are simply to go on in the mode of "business as usual."

Perhaps I allowed that to go on for too long when I should have stopped it -- as far back as my childhood. Instead, I have only recently begun standing up for myself and speaking my mind. As a result friendships have ended. Pretty sad when you think about it. Because I have finally begun to command respect, I am no longer deemed worthy of having as a friend. My circle is growing smaller and I will simply have to be ok with that. I won't be anyone's "doormat", nor should I have to be.

So anyway...I'm not really sure what I am supposed to do at this point. My writing is my voice. No one hears me otherwise. If I stop writing (or only write what I think folks want to hear), then I stifle my voice, and that's simply not an option.

I try to mix things up here. Sometimes the posts are light and funny. Other times, they are my feelings being poured put here in words. I don't have a therapist (perhaps I need one), so this is it for me. Keeping my feelings in has no benefit (at least not for me), yet I understand that my "realness" may come off as harsh or depressing at times. Again I say, my life is not all "flowers and butterflies." Although there are far MORE flowers and butterflies in my life than there are "weeds and roaches",every now and then a weed sprouts and a roach crawls through. I am dealing with those the best way that I know how -- through my writing.

I realize that there a MILLIONS of blogs, and I'm sure a good number of them are solely POSITIVE. My hat goes off to those folks who can write positively ALL the time. Perhaps my writing still needs to mature in order for me to get to that point, yet if my blog is about my life and experieinces (which are not always POSITIVE), then what do I do with the ones that are not-so-positive? To leave them out would be a not-so-honest view of the life I'm actually living.

I dunno.

As with all things, I shall pray and ask for God's wisdom with how I am to handle those things which I don't understand.

I am human. I am not perfect. I am doing my best.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have any New Year's Day culinary traditions that you and/or your family honors?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Once again...

So today I had a bit of an "interesting" experience.

I joined a discussion about the recent event involving the actress who was questioned by the police in response to calls that there was a couple committing "lude acts" in public. According to EVERY eyewitness, the actress and her boyfriend were having sex in their car IN PUBLIC.

Now I don't watch television anymore but on the various talk-adio stations that I listen to, I heard the audio of her conversation with the officer played many times.

Based on what I heard, she was belligerent, uncooperative, and just outright WRONG.

She insisted that all they were doing was "making out", yet I came to my own conclusion and decided that it was MORE than that.

So...

In the discussion I was having, a few of us agreed that the audio, along with the numerous complaints that were made, were enough "proof" that she and her boyfriend had indeed been committing a "lude act".

One of the members of the discussion was appalled by the fact that people like myself would so quickly and easily "hop on the bandwagon" and entertain such gossip and rumor without having any VISIBLE proof of the act.

I didn't need VISIBLE proof. I had ALL THE PROOF I NEEDED, and I was ready to drop the issue. But not before I was again reminded of how awful it is for people like me to make judgements without having ALL OF THE FACTS.

Contrary to what some may believe...I do NOT habitually nor typically by into rumors. I don't watch reality shows because they tend to be laden with gossip and rumor. I don't engage in such in my personal life either. It's just NOT what I'm about. And I don't think the fact that I believe that this actress did in fact commit the act, makes me a rumor-monger. Instead, it simply makes me a person who has a difference of opinion...WHICH I'M ENTITLED TO. We're ALL entitled to disagree.

Somehow though, whenever *I* disagree, things are taken waaay out of context and I end up being completely MISUNDERSTOOD.

What am I supposed to do, just be a "yes girl" and always agree with EVERYTHING even when it goes against what I really think? Nope. Sorry. No can do.

The older I get, the more I am beginning to wish that I was one of those people who ALWAYS speaks their mind. That way, on the rare occasions when I do, I won't be looked at as a witch with a capital B. Instead, folks won't even question what I've said, because they'd be used to it.

Anyhoo...Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU were MISUNDERSTOOD?

Talk to me!

Til next time...