Help Needed

Today, I feel like this picture. I feel like I'm drowning.

In a funk that I can't seem to shake.

Applying for positions in the field that I so desperately want to get into. Praying that I'll hear back from them SOON. Wondering what my next step should be.

The clocking isn't just ticking for me...it's ringing LOUDLY in my ear.

Sadly, I think I'm going to have to go back to what I dread. I mean, I seriously start to hyperventilate when I consider what I more than likely have to go back to.

If I lived alone and only had myself to take care of, I wouldn't go back. I'd live on a wing and a prayer. I would take chances and allow myself the time that is needed to get to where I'm going. I'd live in my car if I had to. Rent a motel room from night to night if need be.

But that's not my life. I have people who depend on me. People who need to know that they have a roof to call "theirs" to sleep under. I owe them that much. I am obligated to provide them with that much.

So once again, as I have had to do for most of my life, I have to put self aside and put the needs of others before my own.

Even as I type these words, I am praying that there be another way. Praying that someone will call, not just to say, "come in for an interview", but to say, "YES, we want you to start right away."

Until that happens, I will continue to drown into this abyss of disatisfaction.

How did I get here? Where did the turn go wrong?

I need to find my way back to the right track. It seems that I've strayed so far away I can only pray that I find it. And pray that someone will help me along the way.

At this point, I am ever so grateful for my faith.

This is the place in many folk's lives where they decide to stop going. I can't do that. Nor do I really want to. I've always been the curious type and quite honestly, I wanna see how this whole thing is gonna play out. Good, bad, or otherwise...I need to know the ending.

So even though I'm drowning in a sea of uncertainty, I have just enough strength and mental fortitude to come up every now and then for the breath of air that I need to keep going just a little long.

Sure could use some help though. Yet it seems that my pleas don't really go much further than the tips of my fingers.

God hears them from my heart though. So in that, I will find comfort.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What do you wish someone would help you with? Have you put out a cry and yet no one seems to be hearing or answering?

Talk to me!

Til next time...