Looking for Caller #...

So get this!

Pretty much everyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE music. And I especially love hearing music performed LIVE in concert. When my favorite artist, Teena Marie was alive, I saw her perform as often as I could. I will always remember the very last time I saw her. She was performing at a school fund raiser as a favor to a friend. I was so close up front I could almost touch her. As a result, I got some great pics.

I think that event may have been in May. That December, she left us. December 26th to be exact.

Since then, I haven't really found a new "FAVE" but there are a few artists that I'm kinda diggin'. One of those is Leela James. She's fairly young (31) with a sultry soulful sound that is taking her up the music charts. Hers is music the way it used to be. Music the way it should be.

So today, as I was out running errands, I pulled into a parking lot and just sat for a minute before I went inside the store. I was listening to my favorite station, Radio Free 102.3 KJLH. Saturday mornings are great because they play a variety of old skool classics.

The song that was playing ended and the radio announcer said that he was looking for "Caller #23" to win 2 tickets to see Leela James in concert.

WHAT?!?

I started dialing.

Busy.

Hung up. Tried again.

Busy.

Hung up. Tried again.

Ringing.

He answered, "You are caller #14."

Gasp.

Dialed again.

Busy.

Dialed again.

Busy.

Dialed again.

Ringing.

He answered, "Hello. Who is this?"

"Am I caller #23?"

"Yes, and who am I speaking with?"

I tell him my name.

He asks, "Do I know you?"

"No, but we can be friends."

He laughed and asked, "Have you won anything from this station in the past 60 days?"

"No."

He then proceeded to take all of my info and told me when I could come by and pick up the tickets.

HOW EXCITING!

Now...I just need to figure out who I'm gonna go with. I have someone in mind, so we'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, here's the song that I am sooo looking forward to hearing her sing LIVE:



And with that...Let the DIALOGUE begin: Who would YOU like to see in concert?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Blessings Unexpected

This past week has been an absolute blur. Now that things have calmed down a bit, I can actually take time to write about them.

Last Wednesday, 9/17, my mom was hospitalized after suffering a heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, and a clot that stopped circulation in her right leg. Since then, my days have been spent at the hospital 20 miles away from my home (one way).

Little by little she went from being completely sedated, to mildly sedated, to knowing who we were, to realizing and understanding that her leg needed to be amputated. Yes...AMPUTATED.

So...with the improvement of her health, yesterday was "the day". The amputation was on schedule.

Because of my faith in Christ, I wasn't as scared as most probably would be. I had a peace and calm that truly comes only from Him. And I also had a good friend by my side, which provided more comfort that I could have imagined possible.

I've been friends with "Joe" (that's what we'll call him) for years, and after his actions yesterday, I am realizing that there is so much more to him than I ever knew.

Wednesday evening he told me that he would go to the hospital with me and spend time with my mom. Okay.

We weren't able to ride to the hospital together so he told me he'd meet me up there. Okay.

I got to the hospital sometime yesterday morning and a couple hours later, Joe called to see how things were going. I told him.

Shortly after that, in walks Joe, with lunch FOR ME. Okay. I wasn't expecting that AT ALL. It was just a simple little lunch, but felt like a king's feast.

Then he went in with me to see my mom.

He could see that she was uncomfortable, so he wet a cloth and wiped her forehead. I watched in awe.

Soon after, she was rolled into the O.R. and we (me, Joe, my dad, and my cousin) headed to the waiting room.

This is where I thought Joe would make exit, but nooo...he stayed...for the entire duration of the surgery. WHOA!!!

Again, I was in awe.

He made the 2 hour wait feel like 5 minutes. Had he not been there, 2 hours would have felt like 12. I was so thankful to have him there.

And at one point when my dad got a bit overwhelmed, Joe walked outside with my dad...just the two of them, to help calm his nerves.

All I can say is...WHAT A BLESSING my friend Joe is!!!

And yesterday, after all these years of wondering if Joe loves me...I realized yesterday, that he actually DOES. He may not be the type to take me to fancy places, or shower me with flowers, but the little things that he does (like moving the hair out of my face), or big things like staying with me yesterday, are HIS WAY of displaying love.

And although it doesn't come in the packaging that *I* expect it to...doesn't mean that love is not "in the box". No, it's in there, and I receive it. Whether it's packaged in a pretty blue Tiffany box, or newspaper...it's in there, and I receive it.

In case you're wondering...no, Joe and I are not in a relationship with each other. At this point we are simply two good friends who enjoy each other's company when we get a chance to spend time together (which isn't very often). If it be in God's will to change our "status" then so be it, but for now, I am simply BLESSED to have Joe in my life.

Oh and as for my mom...her surgery went well. The road to recovery will be long, but she has plenty of love and support to be with her every step of the way.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What does love look like to you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Brother Alex

When I was little

the Emergency Broadcast System would perform tests through the television. Maybe they still do. I haven't had television in so long I simply can't remember. Anyway, they would start off with a high pitched beep followed by these words:

"This is a test. For the next sixty (or thirty) seconds, this station will conduct a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test."

Well...my life has been a bit of a test lately. I know that it has. Between my employment situation, my mom's major health situation, AND my car, I just pray that I pass.

This evening, on the way home from another day at the hospital, my car once again decided to overheat. I was on the freeway and noticed the temperature gauge climbing higher and higher. I exited the freeway, turned on my hazards, and slowly drove to the nearest gas station. I sat there for about 20 minutes letting the car cool off. Then I decided to try again and head home.

Well...I got a few blocks down the street and it started climbing again. Sooo...into another gas station I went.

As I'm sitting in my car I hear this odd noise.

I turn my head to see a man washing my windows.

So I open the door and tell him, "Thank you, but no thank you...I don't need my windows washed, I'm just waiting for my car to cool off. And...I don't have any money." I knew he wasn't washing the windows for his health or my good looks. He needed money.

He said, "It's okay if you don't have any money. I'm washing them out of friendship." Hmmm...I'd never met this man before so we certainly weren't "friends". I was stuck though, so he proceeded to wash the windows.

As he was doing this, he's telling me what I needed to do to get my car up and running to make it home. Then he says, "I'll help you." And he did.

When he was finished, I thanked him and he started walking away. I called him back over so that I could at least give him what change I had. He was grateful.

Then I asked his name. Alex.

I told him mine.

As I got ready to leave I said, "Thank you again Alex, and God bless you."

He said, "You've already blessed me and in 3 days God is going to give you at least 3 times more than what you gave me." Then he came really close...close enough for me to smell the hint of alcohol on his breath and he asked, "Do you believe it?"

Before I could answer, he asked, "Do you believe in Jesus?"

That threw me for a loop. I wasn't expecting to be asked that at all. Ok, honestly...I wasn't expecting HIM to ask me that at all.

I answered.

"Yes, Alex. I most certainly believe in Jesus."

Then he said,"In 3 days, when you receive your blessing...honk your horn 3 times."

I hadn't heard him correctly, and I said, "Honk my horn 3 times, right now?"

He said, "No. In 3 days, honk it 3 times."

"Okay Alex, I will. Thank you again, and God bless you."

You know what...I am going to wait in expectancy for my blessing in 3 days. After all, it never hurts to believe, right?

As I began to drive away, I thanked God for placing Alex in my life at that moment in time. Not only did he help me with my car, but HE ministered to ME in a way that I wasn't expecting. Brother Alex was proof that we just never know where our blessings will come from.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time a stranger did something nice for you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Changing Seasons

Here's what I know: Some people relish in anger and bitterness. They thrive on it. The need to be right (even though there is no right or wrong in a particular issue) outweighs the need to reconcile. When forgiveness is an option, they decline it because they would rather harbor the anger than heal the hurt.

Here's what I also know: I am NOT one of those people. As a follower of Christ, I can't be.

I've said that to say this. I have a "friend" (we'll call her "Friend A") who has chosen to end our friendship over $58.OO. Yep, that's right...FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS!

Fifty eight dollars that she assumed I wasn't going to repay her. Fifty eight dollars that I offered to pay her since another friend of mine could not afford to. Now...for anyone who knows my current financial situation, I do NOT have fifty eight dollars (or any dollars) to spend on ANYTHING that I can't use. But when I was informed that "friend B" simply couldn't afford to pay, instead of footing "freind A" with the bill, I willingly offered to pay it. Although I have text messages between myself and "Friend B" stating just that, "Friend A" jumped straight to the conclusion that she wouldn't get her money and hasn't spoken to me in over a month, almost 2. I have even mailed money to "Friend A" to reimburse her for the expense and she is now returning the mail. I'm sure that she's not returning it as a way of saying, "It's ok. I understand your situation, so I want you to keep the money." No...this is her way of flipping the finger at me and saying, "You can keep your effing money!"

At this point, I am DONE. I have sooo many other issues that warrant my attention right now, and I have cried too many tears over what I lies ahead. Trying to figure out what I did wrong "this time", and without her actually picking up the phone and telling me...is just more than I can handle right now. In every friendship/relationship, I am ALWAYS the one to reach out and do "damage control"...ALWAYS. At this point, I am tired of trying to fix what I don't even know is broken. I have nothing to apologize for because I have done NOTHING wrong. I have attempted to make things right...because I valued our friendship. What I now know is that to "Friend A", our friendship was only worth FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS. I was only worthy FIFTY EIGHT DOLLARS.

That's ok. The book of Ecclesiastes states that "to everything there is a time and a season." Apparently, (by her choice and behavior), our season is over. I never thought we'd end up here, and this is never what I wanted. Yet I'm not going to force ANYONE to stay in a friendship with me that they do

n't want to be in. That's not friendship. Yet, as hurt as I am by this whole thing, I move on without any ill-will or hard feelings. I pray that God continues to bless her and her remaining friendships. One thing I know with absolute certainty though is this: I am a good person, a loyal and loving friend. NO ONE can deny that about me...NO ONE.

So as I deal with changes that I have experienced since June 13th, the MAJOR change that happened yesterday and HUGE life-changer that is to take place tomorrow...I will continue to pray for her (whether she wants me to or not), because again...that is what Christ, my Lord and Savior COMMANDS me to do in Matthew 5:43-48.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."

And for any of you who may be reading this right now...those of you who believe and pray in the name of JESUS...please lift me up in prayer if you would. God has heard from me an awful lot recently, and it seems that I need Him more and more each day as I face things that are completely out of my control. Nevertheless, I believe in His sovereignty and ask that His will be done.

So...if you knew even HALF of what I'm dealing with right now (alone and by myself), you would understand why I must forgive, and move on. I simply can not harbor unforgiveness and expect God to hear and answer my prayers (Matthew 6:12). I need Him to hear and answer every prayer...every single one.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What MAJOR life-changing events are YOU facing right now? Whatever they may be, rest assured that God has ALL things in control...ALL things.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Once again...

So today I had a bit of an "interesting" experience.

I joined a discussion about the recent event involving the actress who was questioned by the police in response to calls that there was a couple committing "lude acts" in public. According to EVERY eyewitness, the actress and her boyfriend were having sex in their car IN PUBLIC.

Now I don't watch television anymore but on the various talk-adio stations that I listen to, I heard the audio of her conversation with the officer played many times.

Based on what I heard, she was belligerent, uncooperative, and just outright WRONG.

She insisted that all they were doing was "making out", yet I came to my own conclusion and decided that it was MORE than that.

So...

In the discussion I was having, a few of us agreed that the audio, along with the numerous complaints that were made, were enough "proof" that she and her boyfriend had indeed been committing a "lude act".

One of the members of the discussion was appalled by the fact that people like myself would so quickly and easily "hop on the bandwagon" and entertain such gossip and rumor without having any VISIBLE proof of the act.

I didn't need VISIBLE proof. I had ALL THE PROOF I NEEDED, and I was ready to drop the issue. But not before I was again reminded of how awful it is for people like me to make judgements without having ALL OF THE FACTS.

Contrary to what some may believe...I do NOT habitually nor typically by into rumors. I don't watch reality shows because they tend to be laden with gossip and rumor. I don't engage in such in my personal life either. It's just NOT what I'm about. And I don't think the fact that I believe that this actress did in fact commit the act, makes me a rumor-monger. Instead, it simply makes me a person who has a difference of opinion...WHICH I'M ENTITLED TO. We're ALL entitled to disagree.

Somehow though, whenever *I* disagree, things are taken waaay out of context and I end up being completely MISUNDERSTOOD.

What am I supposed to do, just be a "yes girl" and always agree with EVERYTHING even when it goes against what I really think? Nope. Sorry. No can do.

The older I get, the more I am beginning to wish that I was one of those people who ALWAYS speaks their mind. That way, on the rare occasions when I do, I won't be looked at as a witch with a capital B. Instead, folks won't even question what I've said, because they'd be used to it.

Anyhoo...Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU were MISUNDERSTOOD?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Compare and Contrast...but never Complain

Have you ever looked at the lives of other people and asked yourself, "How did I end up HERE?"

I do. Often.

I don't do it in an envious type of way, but moreso a curious type of way.

I mean, as I sit here at my kitchen table writing, I sit with the sound of the fan, and only the fan, whirring in the background. I could listen to music, that's still an option, however, turning on the tube to see what's on...that's NOT an option. And I wonder, "How many of my other friends are sitting at home this evening with NO television?" I don't mean NO television as in, they choose not to watch it. I mean...NO television as in, they can not afford it. You see folks, I can no longer afford television and for that reason, I turned in the cable box weeks ago. The basic of packages was $29.99 per month, and that didn't even include CNN which is the ONLY channel I even care about. Too much for THIS girl's budget.

And then there's the internet.

Sure, I have it, but only through a wireless router with a very limited amount of data. So for those folks who say, "Ah, you don't even need TV, you can watch shows online." Nope. No can do. That would eat up my data in ONE episode.

I will say that I am VERY thankful for Starbucks and their Wi-Fi offerings. Mind you, I always by SOMETHING...even if it's just a back of shortbread cookies, or a small iced tea. Because contrary to what SOME think about me...I am NOT a leech. I pay for things and don't take advantage of ANYONE. But...I digress.

Then I see friends post about these fancy restaurants where water doesn't even come in individual glasses...it comes in a glass bottle that everyone pours from. Can't say that I've ever been to one of those.

Or those who live in waterfront homes.

Or those who are able to live creatively without breaking their backs to keep the lights on.

Yes...sometimes I wonder where I made a wrong turn. Well, there are a few areas where I can CLEARLY say that I made the wrong turn. But did I make enough to get me HERE?!? Apparently, I did.

I'm not complaining or comparing my life to anyone else. I believe that what God has for me is for me, and what He has for someone else is for someone else.

I'm just curious.

What I do know is that not many folks I know could live my life.

*I live in a small apartment (without amenities, like A/C, washer & dryer or dishwasher).
**I drive an 8 year old Kia that cooperates most times, and other times makes me VERY nervous.
***I have never been on a week-long vacation (2 days has been my max).
****I am single (not by choice, but by God's current will).
*****I am heavier than society says I should be.
******I am still searching for that perfect career opportunity (more than most folks know...more than 99.99% of folks know).
*******And I am going through life alone...with no one to talk to, but God. He's all I have, and He is enough.

Even with all that, I am still BLESSED beyond measure.

*Although I have NO health insurance...I DO have my health.
**Although my bank account has dwindled down to nothing, I am still able to eat everyday and sleep in my own bed in my own home.
***I have THREE amazingly incredible children, who make me proud EVERYDAY.
****Although I don't have anyone CLOSE to talk to and share ALL that I'm going through at this time in my life...I have my faith, and that is invaluable.
*****Although I am crying on the inside most days, I still have a smile on the outside, so as not to bring others down. "Debbie Downer, I refuse to be!"
******Although NONE of my career dreams have come to fruition yet, I still have hope and I keep pressing forward, believing that they will...ONE DAY.
*******Although no one reads my beloved blog, the words still flow from my fingertips like water. Even if I am only writing for "An Audience of One", THAT is all I need.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way Home...

So...this past weekend, I had an INCREDIBLE time in the amazing city of Atlanta, GA. It was my first time there and I absolutely fell in love with all of the rich history there. As great as my experience was though, the time eventually came for me to head on back home.

As I do pretty much every time I travel, I took public transportation from my hotel to the airport. In this case, it was MARTA.

I get on the very crowded train, filled with Atlanta Falcons and New Orleans Saints fans, and there's no where to sit. So I grab onto a pole, and very white-knuckledly hang on for dear life. Thankfully, I only had to ride that way for one stop where the train practically cleared out.

I grab a seat, chatted with some nice ladies from Wis-KAHN-sin, and we finally arrived at the airport.

I head straight to the security checkpoint and found it interesting the way they do things there. You don't have to take your shoes off, and you don't have to take liquids out of your bag. They simply swab your hands. Simple enough, right?

So my turn comes up and the lady tells me to hold out my hands. I comply. She sees that I'm standing there with my hands out as if I'm about to catch something and she tells me that I can relax and put them down.

"This'll only take 10 seconds."

So I put my hands down and wait.

Next thing I know, her screen is FLASHING RED with the words "Explosive Substance Detected" (or something to that affect).

WHAT?!?

She looks at me and in a very stern and official tone she says, "So much for relaxing. I'm going to need you to step aside."

WHAT?!?

She then radios for backup because now, I have to be searched.

WHAT?!?

So two female agents come over, take my bags (I wasn't even allowed to TOUCH my things), and moved me over to the side where I was asked to remove my shoes. I complied.

One agent checked my feet while the other went through both of my bags...THOROUGHLY.

"Do you have any sharp objects in these bags?"

WHAT?!?

"No."

She continues to search and swab the inside of my bags looking for traces of who-knows-what.

Ok. Bag inspection is over. Foot inspection is over.

"Ma'am, we're going to need you to come into the private screening room so that we can do a body search."

WHAT?!?

Into the room we go.

I didn't have to undress, but I was touched...a LOT.

Finally I said, "I don't understand what made the machine go off. I don't have anything dangerous on me and the only thing I've touched was the pole on MARTA. That's probably where whatever was detected came from." I know I was reaching, but it was the ONLY thing that made any sense to me.

No response from either agent, just continued searching.

Finally one asks, "So Ma'am, where are you going?" Even in an event as serious as this, Georgians are still POLITE.

"Home to California."

"Ma'am, what were you here for?"

"My annual running conference."

"That's nice. Okay. Well you're all clear Ma'am. You can head to your gate now."

WHAT?! That's it...PHEW!

"Thank you."

And so began my trip back home which had even more hiccups in store, as in...a late departure due to a storm that was passing through...then missing my connecting flight by THREE minutes, and a plane ride that seem to last forever.

Nevertheless, it sure is good to be home!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's the CRAZIEST thing that ever happened to you at an airport?

Talk to me!

Til next time...