Compare and Contrast...but never Complain

Have you ever looked at the lives of other people and asked yourself, "How did I end up HERE?"

I do. Often.

I don't do it in an envious type of way, but moreso a curious type of way.

I mean, as I sit here at my kitchen table writing, I sit with the sound of the fan, and only the fan, whirring in the background. I could listen to music, that's still an option, however, turning on the tube to see what's on...that's NOT an option. And I wonder, "How many of my other friends are sitting at home this evening with NO television?" I don't mean NO television as in, they choose not to watch it. I mean...NO television as in, they can not afford it. You see folks, I can no longer afford television and for that reason, I turned in the cable box weeks ago. The basic of packages was $29.99 per month, and that didn't even include CNN which is the ONLY channel I even care about. Too much for THIS girl's budget.

And then there's the internet.

Sure, I have it, but only through a wireless router with a very limited amount of data. So for those folks who say, "Ah, you don't even need TV, you can watch shows online." Nope. No can do. That would eat up my data in ONE episode.

I will say that I am VERY thankful for Starbucks and their Wi-Fi offerings. Mind you, I always by SOMETHING...even if it's just a back of shortbread cookies, or a small iced tea. Because contrary to what SOME think about me...I am NOT a leech. I pay for things and don't take advantage of ANYONE. But...I digress.

Then I see friends post about these fancy restaurants where water doesn't even come in individual glasses...it comes in a glass bottle that everyone pours from. Can't say that I've ever been to one of those.

Or those who live in waterfront homes.

Or those who are able to live creatively without breaking their backs to keep the lights on.

Yes...sometimes I wonder where I made a wrong turn. Well, there are a few areas where I can CLEARLY say that I made the wrong turn. But did I make enough to get me HERE?!? Apparently, I did.

I'm not complaining or comparing my life to anyone else. I believe that what God has for me is for me, and what He has for someone else is for someone else.

I'm just curious.

What I do know is that not many folks I know could live my life.

*I live in a small apartment (without amenities, like A/C, washer & dryer or dishwasher).
**I drive an 8 year old Kia that cooperates most times, and other times makes me VERY nervous.
***I have never been on a week-long vacation (2 days has been my max).
****I am single (not by choice, but by God's current will).
*****I am heavier than society says I should be.
******I am still searching for that perfect career opportunity (more than most folks know...more than 99.99% of folks know).
*******And I am going through life alone...with no one to talk to, but God. He's all I have, and He is enough.

Even with all that, I am still BLESSED beyond measure.

*Although I have NO health insurance...I DO have my health.
**Although my bank account has dwindled down to nothing, I am still able to eat everyday and sleep in my own bed in my own home.
***I have THREE amazingly incredible children, who make me proud EVERYDAY.
****Although I don't have anyone CLOSE to talk to and share ALL that I'm going through at this time in my life...I have my faith, and that is invaluable.
*****Although I am crying on the inside most days, I still have a smile on the outside, so as not to bring others down. "Debbie Downer, I refuse to be!"
******Although NONE of my career dreams have come to fruition yet, I still have hope and I keep pressing forward, believing that they will...ONE DAY.
*******Although no one reads my beloved blog, the words still flow from my fingertips like water. Even if I am only writing for "An Audience of One", THAT is all I need.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you where you thought you would be at this point in your life?

Talk to me!

Til next time...