Roadblocks to the Left of me...Roadblocks to the Right of me...

For the past three weeks I have been diligently looking and applying for jobs. Ultimately, I want to work in an organization that provides services that help others. I simply want to serve and operate in my purpose. Doesn't seem like much to ask for yet the results (thus far) would make it seem that I am asking for the IMPOSSIBLE.

I haven't heard anything from anyone. Almost makes me wonder if my internet is working. Maybe my submissions have never even gone out. Nah...that's unlikely, I know.

The other issue that I've run into is that practically EVERYTHING requires a Bachelor's degree. EVERYTHING. Wel...your's truly does not HAVE a Bachelor's degree. However, after realizing that I'm not going to get far without one, I decided to look into re-enrolling back into college.

Two years ago I enrolled in University of Phoenix and that turned into a complete nightmare. I know a few folks who go there and have graduated from there, but if it were up to me...I would tell anyone and everyone to STEER CLEAR.

So I decided to take the traditional route and enroll in one of the state universities. I get there (excited) and ask to speak with a counselor to discuss my educational path. Turns out that the path can not even begin until FALL OF 2015!

Seriously?

I need to be enrolled pronto. A year from now is too far a way.

Registration for Fall 2014 is already closed and it's doubtful at this time if a Spring semester will even be offered. So...Fall of 2015 it is. That was not at all what I was hoping for.

So now what?

I feel so stuck. I'm doing what I need to do to get ahead, yet my efforts aren't getting me anywhere. To say that I am frustrated would be a complete and absolute UNDERSTATEMENT.

I've said this before and I'll say it again...I AM TIRED. Not so much physically tired, but mentally and emotionally tired...to the point of sheer EXHAUSTION. I don't even feel like I'm going through on my own strength anymore, because I really don't have any. If you've ever seen that "Footprints" poem...yeah, that's pretty much where I'm at right now. Tired and being carried by my Heavenly Father. For that, I am ever so grateful.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you over 40 and planning on going back to college?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 12/21)

Every painful step I take...

Today's post will be short, mainly because I am tired. So I'll briefly share what's on my mind.

PAIN. I am in so much pain. I know that it is only God who is keeping me moving because truly...EVERY step hurts. It's so ironic really. Two years ago I got off the couch and got moving. Joined an amazing running group whose focus is primarily to get BLACK women moving since the rates of obesity are so high. I was doing do so well...for about a year. Entering races, improving my time, hiking. It was all so new to me and I was really enjoying it.

Unfortunately, my body has now chosen to rebel and I am 99.99% certain that I have developed Plantar Faciitis. The pain is almost unbearable. Actually...it IS unbearable, yet I can't just stay in bed or sit in chair all day. I've got to move. And with every step I take, there's pain.

The pain used to be its worst first thing in the morning when I'd step out of bed. Then, as the day would wear on, the pain would lessen. Now, that first step is painful, and pretty much every step I take thereafter. Ibuprofen no longer works. Foot soaks no longer work. I'm just not sure what to do next.

Physically, I have to move to a form of exercise that does not require me to be on my feet. Cycling perhaps, although that's quite expensive for my current budget.

I'd love to find a NATURAL cure for my issue because I've never been one to take medication. Interestingly, I'm sure that the pain I'm feeling would probably have someone else in the hospital. You see, I have a high tolerance for pain. Gave birth to three babies NATURALLY...without drugs. Not too many women do that these days. So yeah...I'm sure that what I'm dealing with in my feet is more that most can handle. Just not sure how much longer I can handle it.

So...how 'bout we Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever had Plantar Fasciitis, and if so...how did you treat it to get rid of the pain?

Talk to me PLEASE!

Til next time...

(Day 11/21)

Take Me To The Water...

So today was one of those days that just puts a smile on this girl's face.

Last November a friend added me to a group on Facebook. I wasn't sure what to make of this group but she thought it would be a good fit for me and eight months later, I can say that I'm so glad she did. Actually...I knew just days after being in this particular group just how special it was, and very quickly, these women (97% of whom I've never met), became my sisters. Sounds crazy, I know, but it's true. We can bounce anything off one another and know that we're going to get an honest, LOVING, sisterly response. Sometimes we find ourselves virtually Laughing Out Loud. Other times, we are virtually crying with each other. Sometimes, all in the same day...it just depends on who posted what, and the responses that roll in.

Now I've heard a lot of people say that REAL friendships can not be formed via Facebook. Oh, but I greatly beg to differ. Since joining FB in 2009, I have been in FOUR groups that have resulted in truly genuine friendships. I've met at the homes of some people, have dined out with others, gone to concerts and plays with some, traveled across country, and can truly say that these people are my FRIENDS.

I will also say this...not EVERY group on FB is for EVERYBODY...at least not for ME. I was added to one group a while ago and not even 24 hours in I could tell that it wasn't the place for me. The vibe was just so negative, which was completely different from the other four groups that I'm in or have been in. I just can't be in a place, virtually or otherwise where people feed off of each other's negativity. So yeah, I very quickly found the "leave group" button, and it was "Exit, Stage Left" for this chick.

So, back to today.

Today I got to meet two ladies who are in one of the groups I'm in. So get this...we're sitting around talking and having a good time and I find out that most of us were meeting each other for the FIRST time! Can you believe that?!?

Here's the diagram: I'm "D", and I met with "J", "B", and "V".

"D" knows and has met "B" before today. "D" met "J" and "V" today for the first time.
"B" knows and has met "D" and "V" before today, and was meeting "J" for the first time.
"J" was meeting "D", "B" AND "V" today for the first time.

Yet...it felt like we've all known each other forever. How cool is that?!?

So yeah...REAL relationships CAN be formed via FB when you are dealing with mature folks with a POSITIVE vibe. And don't get me wrong...we're not all "Pollyannas" in the group. We are real people with real issues and have real discussions with each other. There's just something about the vibe. The right vibe makes all the difference.

So...the lovely pic that's posted here was taken after we left our meeting spot and "B" and I went to hang out at the beach. She and I are both "nature girls" so anyplace that SHE likes, I am SURE to like. Once again, she picked a winner. Although any time I am near the ocean...my "place of peace" is a winner.

Take me to the water...ANYTIME.

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: If you're on Facebook, have you formed any GENUINE friendships there?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 10/21)

Freedom. Can you use it in a sentence?

So today is Independence Day, the day that we celebrate the birth (not sure if that's the right word) of the United States of America.

Although this country has MANY flaws and is FAR from perfect...I still think it's one of the best countries to live in. Probably not THE best, but one of.

In my opinion, the BEST country would be one that doesn't work it's working class into the ground. One that honors family and offers lots more paid time off than this one does. THAT, in my opinion would be one of the deciding factors as to which is the BEST country to live.

But...this country is all I've ever known, so I won't complain. Didn't say that I can't complain. Just said that I won't.

On this "Independence Day" though, FREEDOM has been on my mind and has me really questioning, "What is FREEDOM, really?"

I was about to go on a rant about what FREEDOM means to me, but decided to take the high road (again) and won't.

So...instead of ME telling YOU what FREEDOM is...how 'bout YOU tell ME what FREEDOM is. Fair enough?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is YOUR definition of FREEDOM?

Talk to me!

Til next time...God bless America. We sure need it.

(Day 9/21)

LosS vs. LosT

Pet Peeves! How many of us have them?

When it comes to Facebook, I have a few. But the two that run neck and neck for the number one spot are these:

People who "like" a sad status, and...people who respond with, "I'm sorry for your lost" when someone has died. NOOO!!! It's not losT, it's losS. I'm sorry for your loss!!!

Without fail, EVERY TIME someone posts about a death, there is always always always ONE who comments with, "I'm sorry for you lost". I just can't. I mean CAN NOT.

There are other things that irk me about Facebook, but because it's my favorite form of social media, I'm not gonna bash it too much.

I typically post something at least once a day, but for the past few days I haven't posted anything and I'm not sure when I will again. Kinda taking a break and time to process some things that are going on with me. Facebook will be there whenever I'm ready to post again. And whenever I get over the rude comment that someone made about me being "boastful in my giving". That is so far from the truth...but if this person REALLY knew me then they too would know how asinine their comment was. *Sigh*

For the most part, I keep my posts positive. I rarely if ever look for the "sympathy like or comment". My house could fall into a sink hole and no one would know. I'm just not that kind of person. I am extremely private and don't like or need attention. Oh well, we all use Facebook differently, so...to each their own.

So yeah...those are two of my Facebook pet peeves. There is one more but I'll write about that another day. Here's a hint though: What's up with people who don't accept your friend request? And I'm not talking strangers because I don't send requests to strangers. I'm talking people who have 30+ mutual friends in common and we went to school together??? Yeah...that's a topic for another day. I actually know what that's about, but again...for another day.

So...Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's your biggest Facebook pet peeve?

Talk to me!

Till next time...

(Day 8/21)

Hair that Scratched Back

If you've been following along here in The Dialogue Den, then you know about the career rut I've been in for YEARS and how I'm very diligently looking for a new job. Preferably in the Social Service/Human Service arena where I can best utilize my professional skills and passion for serving others.

Every day I apply to who knows how many jobs. Every day...I get no response.

It's enough to have one questioning life, and the meaning thereof. I mean really, it can make a person really wonder, "What's wrong with me?"

Nevertheless, I have my FAITH and that's what gets me through each day. I'm doing my part by searching, and searching, and searching. I believe that God will do His part and open the door that He intends for me to walk through next. So, I shall live by
Matthew 6:26-34 and wait patiently for my breakthrough.

While I'm waiting however, I've realized that some things needed to be changed like YESTERDAY. One of those things was my hair. Again...if you've been following the blog, you may recall that I cut ALL of my hair off on March 1, 2013. I mean, I went to the barber shop, sat in the chair and said, "Chop it!" And "chop it" he did. I don't even think I had an eighth of an inch of hair. That was fine with me. Well...until it started growing back. My goodness! My hair went through so many different stages and phases while it was growing back. In some spots it grew in quite nicely. But in other spots, it didn't grow in well at all. More specifically, the patch right in the middle of my head toward the back. It was crazy! Like that hair was made up of completly different DNA than the rest of the hair on my head. It was a totally different texture, and grew at a MUCH SLOWER rate.

I couldn't take it any more. The straw that broke the camels back was when I straightened my hair last week. WOW! It turned out TERRIBLY! My hair felt like brillo. The ends were so rough and course...just plain UNHEALTHY.

So...yesterday I walked into my nearby hair salon and told the stylist that I wanted it cut down to the healthiest level. It took her a minute to understand what I was talking about and when she finally got it, she realized that she was about to do a whole lotta cuttin'. You see...most of my hair had grown to about 6 inches in length. But that middle patch was only about 1 inch long. So...down to 1 inch it all went and I'm now back to sportin' a "TWA". For those who don't know...that's a "Teeny Weeny Afro."

Yeah, it kinda sucks that I had to cut it all off again, but...I'm not trippin'. As Ms. India.Arie so eloquently puts it..."I Am Not My Hair." So I'm good.

And...I've learned quite a lesson. Just because I wear my hair "natural" does NOT mean that I can go without maintaining it regularly...as in, regular trims. It probably would have grown a lot quicker and healthier if I had gotten it trimmed regularly. As with every other lesson that I've ever learned in life...I've learned this one the hard way. Nevertheless...lesson> learned.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Aside from medical reasons, have you ever cut off all your hair? If so...how did that work for ya?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 7/21)

Answering the Questions

So I'm in a bit of a career rut...actually a MAJOR career rut, and I'm doing everything I know to do to get out of it. Searching daily for a new job, praying, and just last Friday and started and FINISHED reading a fantastic book called The Leap, by Rick Smith. If you're in a career rut like me, I HIGHLY encourage you to read this book.

The pages of this book SCREAMED at me, so I've decided to do something with what I've read.

Throughout the book are pages with questions for the reader to answer, in an effort to steer one into the career direction that best suits one's purpose.

I have decided to start answering those questions right here in The Dialogue Den (and I expect YOU to answer them too!)

I'm not going to specifically list the question because I don't want to violate any copyright laws, but I will answer the questions since those words are my own. Perhaps from my answers you can figure out what the questions are.

So, here goes:

My ideal life is one filled with good health, no financial concerns, and operating in my created purpose. A life that will allow me to help others operate in their created purpose. I am ending each day knowing that I have done something (no matter how small) to make this world we live in, a better place. If my ideal life turned out exactly as I wished, I would have someone to share my joys and successes with. That someone would be my HUSBAND. In my opinion, everything is better when you have someone to share it with. I don't know who he is or where he is, but God-willing, he will find me. We would be homeowners instead of renters, lenders instead of borrowers, the head and not the tail. My children would be healthy, wealthy and wise, operating in their purpose. As you can see...this whole PURPOSE thing is pretty big for me. Primarily because I am not yet operating in mine (yet praying daily for the door of opportunity to open), and because I know that life is just so much sweeter when we are allowed to do what we are created to do versus what we HAVE to do just to get the bills paid. In my ideal world, the magic wand would be waved and EVERYONE would be operating in their purpose...waking up EVERYDAY with joy, looking forward to what lies ahead, instead of dreading the day and wishing for 5:00 pm to come when it's only 8:00 am.

And in all that I do, and all that I achieve in my "ideal life", God gets ALL the glory. All of it!

Now it's YOUR turn!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Describe YOUR ideal life.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 6/21)