Next Exit

It seems to me lately that there are more and more people begging for money these days.

Not a day goes by (and I'm not exaggerating), not a single day goes by when I am not approached by someone asking for money. Whether I'm at the gas station, grocery story, post office, or just getting off the freeway. EVERYWHERE I go, SOMEBODY asks me for money.

The need seems to be most prevalent at the Central Avenue exit off the 105 Freeway. On any given day there are at least 2 people at that off-ramp with a cup in hand. Some days, you can find as many as 5 people. One lady even has a dog.

At the gas station, I'm now being approached not only by adults, but adults WITH CHILDREN. How am I supposed to say no to that??? I don't.

Mind you, it's not like I have a whole lot to give. Remember...I am a single UNEMPLOYED mother of 3 with 2 children in college. I am NOT the best candidate for feeding the needy, yet I do it anyway.

With every dollar (or two or three) that I give, my heart grows heavier with sadness...and disappointment.

Why aren't the celebrities and high paid executives in this country doing more to help the plight of the people???

Is it because they don't pump their own gas, or shop for their own groceries? Or is it that their tinted windows on their limousines keep them from seeing the poverty and despair that's alongside them.

Why aren't they doing more while I'm doing more that I can afford? Why???

Come on people! It's time to step up and help each other. Give up your SELFISHness and try a little SELFLESSness.

I'm tired of this crap! It's time for us to do better, treat each other better, serve one another, do something kind for each other...CHANGE!!!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What would you propose to make this country of ours a better place for those who are so greatly in need?

Yeah, yeah...I know that other countries need help, but let's clean up our own mess before we start cleaning up the messes of others.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Sad goodbyes, Better hellos.

***Although most of my posts are happy and upbeat, every now and then there's one that's not quite that. This might be one of those, but it is what it is and this is what it is.***

A little over an hour ago I gave my daughter Jordan a hug and told her that I loved her as she loaded up her dad's truck so that he could drive her to her new home...her college dorm.

I'm happy for her and her new journey in life. I just wish I could have sent her off with better.

Money is tight in our home...very tight. And it's not just because I'm unemployed. Money was tight even WITH a job.

It's not like we live outside our means. To the contrary. Our means are just very meager. Always have been.

Over the past month, little by little I've been buying the things that she needs. Bedding here. Pots & pans there. Dishes. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Yet I still don't feel like she has enough. I didn't have a dime worth of cash to give her. Zero, zip, nada.

So how is she supposed to eat???

Her housing comes with a kitchen, so it's not like she has the meal plan to fall back on. I know that she's received money from friends and family in preparation of her going away, so hopefully she has enough to hold her over until I get more money.

Oh, and did I mention that we haven't even bought her books yet? And we KNOW how expensive college textbooks are. RIDICULOUS!!!

I have a friend who's making a CD to go along with a book she's written. She's solicited on facebook for people to make a donation toward her effort. I will...when I get some money. Why would I do that, you ask...because I believe we should support one another. One of the greatest problems in the world today is that it's "every man for himself", and people don't help each other. That way of thinking has GOT to come to an end. Even though she's married and lives a far better lifestyle than I do, I still feel the need to support her in her effort. She has a dream. Who am I to stand in the way of it. After all, I wouldn't want anyone to stand in the way of mine.

Her request has left me to wonder though, how many people would help ME, if I put out a call for everyone to make a donation toward my daughter's education. It's hard enough for black children to get through school as it is. And not many make it to college. I am blessed to have not 1, but 2 daughters in college now, and I want to keep them there until they finish. I do NOT want either of them to have to give up on their dreams because "mom couldn't afford it". Story of their lives.

Anyway...the goodbye was sad, for more reasons than one. But I am determined to make life better for myself and my 3 babies so that we can have better hellos. Something's gotta give. Something's gotta change. Now.

If I could, I would ask for $1 from everyone in the United States. Just $1. That's all it would take to make my life just a little easier...for once.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! When it comes to your children, do you ever feel like love just isn't enough?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

p.s. - the clipart image looks just like Jordan today. She wanted me to do her hair in the curly style and it came out so cute (of course). She looks so "ethic". I love it!

Going Once, Going Twice, Going Lots of times...SOLD!

In March of this year, I decided to try my hand at eBay to see if I could get anything for the many clothing items that my kids have so quickly either grown out of or tired of.

Wasn't really sure about how it all worked. For how much should I price my items? Should I offer Free shipping or should I charge shipping? How many days should I list the items?

So many unknowns.

What I found over time was that I had to sell the way that I wanted to sell and not worry about how other people on eBay were selling their items.

I mean really...I can't get into their minds to figure out how they came up with the price that they wanted to charge, etc.,etc. So it was just easier to "eBay MY way".

One thing that eBay'ing has taught me is to be patient and not give up. Case in point...just TODAY, I sold a shirt (pictured here) that I've been relisting since March.

I'd list it, relist it and relist it again. Finally, my persistence paid off.

That listing taught me a lesson (and if you know me well, I find a lesson in pretty much EVERYTHING).

I've learned that I'm going to need that same persistence in many other areas of my life...this blog, my career search, weight loss, love. Yes, I'm going to have to be persistent in order to get the things I desire. And you know what...I will!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What have you been persistent with? Has that thing come to fruition yet, or are you still waiting?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Profile Greetings

So the other day I posted about Profile pics from some of the online dating sites, and how ridiculous some of these pictures are. Well, like peanut butter and jelly, what goes better with a ridiculous profile pic than an even more ridiculous profile GREETING. Here's an example of one VERBATIM (sadly,there are many more...too many more where this came from):

"WELL I'M LAID BACK QUIT DONW TO EARHT A VARY SIMPLE PERSON GOES TO CHURCH.KNOW DRUMMER KNOW KIDS.MAYBE ONE DAY,LOOKING FOR YOU; COULD IT BE YOU WELL LET METKNOW.MY TIME IS YOUR TIME SO LETS MAKE TIME........"

With sweet nothings like that don't you wanna just jump all over this one and sop him up with a biscuit!?!

Now there was more to this lovely greeting but I'd have to subscribe to the site in order to see the rest. Umm, I'll pass.

Again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the idea in dating (be it online or the "old fashioned method") is to put your best foot forward and make a good FIRST IMPRESSION.

Then again, maybe I've got it all wrong and that's why I'm still single.

Let the DIALOGE begin! If you currently subscribe to an online dating site, PLEASE share some of the profile greetings that you see out there.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Apples to Oranges

So. I received the paperwork from EDD so it's time for me to begin my "career" search. Notice how I did NOT call it a JOB search, because I don't want another JOB. I am ready for a CAREER. A meaningful, purposeful, life impacting, CAREER.

Where do I begin?

Here's my CAREER wish list:

WANT:
Allows me to interact with people
Allows me to provide a service that will benefit others
Allows me to help those in need
Allows me to comfortably take care of my family
Allows me to have quality time with my family
Provides great medical, dental, vision benefits
Allows me to work with like-minded co-workers
Close to my home with occasional travel
Allows me to teach
Allows me to write
Allows me to sing
Allows me to express my creativity

Do NOT Want:
To be trapped in a cubicle
Anything that has to to with technology (no more computers!)
A Sales position (I'm tired of making others rich while I struggle to make ends meet)

So there you have it folks! Everything that I want to do in my next career is everything that I've never done before.

And what I've done before, I absolutely NEVER want to do again.

So you see, this apple needs to be transformed into an orange. Can it be done? By "man's" standards...no. By God's standards...Absopotivilutely!!!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever switched careers completely?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Profile Pics

Here's a little confession. Occasionally, I peruse dating sites, just to see if there's anything good out there. So far...there's not.

But ohhh, the comedy that can be found on those sites. Primarily when it comes to the profile pictures.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're trying to make a good first impression to catch the eye of that "someone special", shouldn't the picture that you post be your BEST one???

Not so on these sites.

Oh, if I had a dollar for every picture of a dude that's taken in a mirror, or with the "ex" cropped out, yet her arm is still in the picture over his shoulder or wrapped around his neck, or with his shirt off (urgh!). Oh, and then, there are the blurry ones. Seriously men...what message are you really trying to convey with the pics. Lemme give you a hint...it's the WRONG message!

PLEASE...let a sistah help you out...

Buy a CAMERA...learn how to set the self timer, and take a DECENT picture. Then post that.

Heck, who knows...maybe some of these "fancy phones" even have a self-timer feature.

Or get a friend to take your pic. But stay out of the mirror!!! Those just don't look good. You can be the finest man on earth but if your profile pic is of you in the mirror, I'm skipping right on to the next profile.

Now...Let the DIALOGUE begin! Say Cheese, and tell me...have you ever posted a picture on an online dating site?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Mic check, Mic check, One Two, One Two...

Ok. It's been a little while.

Seems like I'm twice as busy being unemployed as I was when I had a job. Go figure.

But I'm enjoying every moment of my busy-ness because I'm spending it with my favorite people...my friends and family.

It feels so good to be Stress-FREE. Even without a job, I feel like I don't have a care in the world. I know, I know...eventually this unemployment is gonna hit me, but until then...I am content...so very content.

I've been spending a lot of time with my youngest daughter Jordan as she prepares to move away to college this weekend. She's gotten her driver's permit, California ID, opened a bank account, and a slew of other stuff. All things that I wouldn't have had time to help her get done if I were working.

God's timing is ALWAYS right!

I've been able to go to my brother's "gig" and hear him play...on a WEDNESDAY night, and got to actually enjoy the show because I didn't have to rush to go home and crawl into bed.

Life is good right now. Really really good.

Once Jordan gets moved in, I'll start looking for work. But for now, I'm going to just enjoy these next few "mind clearing" days. I'm going to enjoy being a "stay at home mom".

As for the title of today's post...it's been over a month since anyone has commented, which leads me to believe that maybe I only had ONE commenter all along, and when I chose not to have my "numbers" read, I lost that ONE commenter.

That's ok. I greatly enjoyed that person's point of view and pray that one day others with comments just as insightful will come along.

In the meantime, I will continue to do what I do...continue to do what I've been purposed to do...I will continue to write.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you unemployed? If so, how are you handling it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

WWYD?

Imagine this if you will...

You're at the gas station.

You pull up to the pump, turn off the car, get out and head over to the pay terminal to insert $5.00 for your gas. (Hey times are tough and gas prices are through the roof...for many of us, $5.00 at a time is all that we can afford).

You type in your pump number and get a message saying "Pump #... is in use".

You go back to the pump to make sure that you've got the right number. You do. It's the right number.

You go back to the terminal again. You enter the pump# and get the same message.

You go back to the pump to figure out what's going on.

You lift the nozzle, insert it into the tank and begin to pump. Whaddayaknow...it works...and the gas starts flowing...$5.10 worth of gas to be exact.

Then, you stop.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What Would YOU Do next?

I know what I did. Just wondering if you'd do the same.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Soledad Rose

As most people who know me know...I read my Bible DAILY. Contrary to what "the world" believes, I know and believe with every fiber of my being that God's word is true. And it's just as true today as it was when it was INSPIRED BY HIM.

One of the many things that I find fascinating when reading, are the names of the people and what the names mean. Unlike the names of today (some of which I could easily list but won't, to avoid the risk of offending anyone), back then, your name either told who you were, who you belonged to, who you worshiped, who you'd become, etc.,etc,.etc.

So very meaningful.

Some of the names are even kind of sad. There's one in particular in 1 Chronicles. If you read that book, you'll know which one I'm referring to when you get to it.

Then again, people may say the same about my name, or even your name.

I often wonder if my life would have been different if my mother had named me her first choice instead of the choice that she finally decided on. I was born in the late 60s, during the time of love, peace, and flower-children. So it only seems fitting that my mother considered naming me: Soledad Rose.

Kinda hippy-ish, I know. But you know what else...I like it. I think I am much more a Soledad Rose, than the name that I was actually given.

Don't get me wrong...I like my name. It's very French (which I am NOT), and it sounds very pretty when pronounced correctly. It also has meaning that I may share with you on day, but today...isn't that day.

So...on that note...

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you like your name? If not, what would you change it to if you could?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Curbside Blessing

Yesterday while I was out and about, something wonderful happened.

I was in my friend's car and was about to get out but couldn't because we were too close to the curb and the door wouldn't open.

So I asked her to back the car up, let me out, and then park.

She did, and I got out.

While she was readjusting the car I happened to look into the street next to the curb. Something caught my eye.

I looked closer and sticking out from under a pile of leaves was the end of a $100 bill. I reached down and pinched the corner of the bill and gently pulled. The leaves were wet so the bill was too.

As I pulled, more and more of the bill became visible until I finally had an IN TACT ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL in my hand. WHOA!!!

A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL!!!

As my friend was parking the car, I'm waving the bill in front of the car.

She finally parks and says, "Tell me that is not what I think it is."

I said, "Oh yeah...it's what you think it is!"

I was amazed, and very quickly thanked God for such a blessing.

As you may recall, I've been unemployed for a week now. Not stressing over it though. Even with our country's less than "AAA" rating, this situation has not phased me one bit.

Did I NEED that $100.00?

Of course I did!

Interestingly though, the moment it came into my possession I knew that it had to go right back to someone else. I offered it to my friend because I owe her $90.00

She wouldn't take it.

I have another friend to whom I owe $60.00

Called her up, and she's in Big Bear, so I couldn't give it to her.

Called up the last person to whom I owe money and finally had a taker. I owed him $300.00, so I was able to lessen the debt by $100.00

So I gave him the money but not without first telling the story of how it came to be. Funny thing about it is that, as soon has he left me, he had to go give the money to someone he owed.

Guess we'll call this "The Circle of Money". Never stays in one place. Just moves from one hand to another.

So, Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever found any money? If so, how much?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Blessed Assurance

*** This is a long one. Grab a cup of coffee and fluff up the pillows. You're gonna be here a while. ***

Today, I am remembering the woman who was my very best friend for 22 years...my grandmother Martha Janet. 83 years ago today God blessed the world with her beautiful spirit. I loved her so much, and she loved me even more. She taught me how to read, write, and gave me the great love for music that I have today.

So many of my pleasant childhood memories include my grandmother.

She sang beautifully and could play a mean organ. She could play for hours as I would go through her song book and say, "Grammy...play this one". And she would. Then I'd choose another, "Play this one Grammy". And she would. She never said no.

She loved the song Blessed Assurance, and every now and then my grandpa would join in and sing along in his booming James Earl Jones-esque voice. I LOVED those times!

Other times, I would lay underneath my Grammy's organ bench and just watch her feet move across the pedals. Count tell you how many times I fell asleep under there. I know that it sounds odd, but it was just so peaceful under that bench just watch Grammy's feet move while listening to her play.

I could go on and on with the memories of my grandmother. Here are just a few:

She would always save me the last drop of coffee in her cup.
She would send me in the backyard to pick apples so that she and I could make a pie. After her heart attack I stayed with her for the entire summer to be her nurse & get her back to health. I'll never forget the time that she asked me to make her a peanut butter and lettuce sandwich. Gladly, I rushed into the kitchen and prepared the sandwich. I was so proud of myself. Here I was...making lunch for Grammy. What an honor! I take the sandwich to her...she takes a bite...I ask her how it is...she pauses...swallows, and asks me in her loving grandmotherly tone..."Dida (that was what she & my grandpa called me) where did you get the lettuce for the sandwich?"

I replied, "From the refrigerator".
She asks, "Where in the refrigerator?"
So I describe the drawer where I got it from.

I begin to sense that something might be wrong.
So I ask, "What's wrong Grammy? Is your sandwich bad?"

She just looks at me, smiles, and says, "It's really good. I've never had a peanut butter and CABBAGE sandwich before."

OOPS!

We laughed and laughed...and I quickly made my Grammy another sandwich...this time...with LETTUCE.

I remember the daily walks that we'd take in the neighborhood. Trash day was our favorite day to walk because we'd find so much change on the sidewalk on those days. We'd have contests to see who would collect the most change. We had so much fun we didn't even realize how far we had walked most days. Grammy was getting better. She was getting stronger, and I was her nurse.

She would encourage me to write stories and one day when I went to visit, she had a brand new typewriter waiting for me...so that I could type my stories...lots of them.

I remember how I got her to stop smoking. This was a BIG one! She told me that she needed me to help her. We tried many methods but none of them worked, until...one day...

I was so angry with her for smoking because I knew that it was hurting her and making her sick. So I said, "Grammy, I know how to make you stop smoking. Any time I see you with a cigarette, I am going to HIT you."

I don't know where this came from. I don't even think I was 10 years old at the time, but this was the best idea I could come up with. And the catch was...she could NOT hit me back.

Now I don't know how YOU were brought up, but I was brought up not to talk back to adults, and to HIT an adult (without being smacked back) was definitely out of the question.

Grammy looked at me for a minute, considered my proposition and agreed. We had a DEAL!

Well, true to my word...the first next time I saw Grammy with a cigarette in her hand, I PUNCHED her...in the arm I think. She quickly gave me a look that said, "I am about to whip your tail." I looked right back at her and said, "No, no...you said I could, remember?"

I tell you...that was the LAST cigarette Grammy ever attempted to smoke. She never picked one up after that. Mission Accomplished!

I remember how she took care of my brothers while my mom worked. It was always such a treat to get home from school and Grammy was there. I hated to see her go.

I remember when I first got my license and I was driving her to a doctor's appointment. On the way there, I got pulled over, and got a ticket. I was frantic because I didn't want my parents to know that I got a ticket...they might not let me drive again if they knew.

Grammy calmed me down and we made a deal. Since she was at our house everyday, she told me that she would check the mail, and when the ticket arrived, she would take it and pay it so that my parents wouldn't have to know about it. Such a "life saver" she was.

I remember when she came to the hospital to see my brand new baby, Lauren. Grammy held Lauren, admiring her beautiful red hair. She had never seen a baby with such pretty hair. Grammy said, "I'm going to call her Penny". I said, (in my "I'm-grown- now voice"), "No Grammy. Her name is Lauren, not Penny." Grammy said, "Fine...but she looks like a pretty penny to me."

On that same visit, I remember getting snappy once more (it must've been the hormones because I would've never been mean to my grandmother in my right mind). Lauren was skin was (and still is) very very light. For whatever reason, I had her right in the sunlight. Grammy told me that I needed to keep her out of the sun. It wasn't good for her skin, being so light. She told me to make sure that she wore hats out in the sun. I snapped at Grammy and said,"I know what to do with her, she's my baby".

At that moment, someone should have punched ME. Had to be the hormones, just had to be. That is the only bad memory that I have with my grandmother, and it was only bad because of MY stupid behavior.

I greatly wish that all my babies could have had the chance to know Grammy and experience her love as I did. Lauren was the only one that ever got to be held in her loving arms. Sadly, Lauren doesn't remember. She was only 8 months old when Grammy died...waaay too soon.

I could go on and on and on. I had 22 years of wonderful memories and there's just no way to post them all here. For now, I'll leave you with the lyrics to her favorite song, Blessed Assurance by Frances J. Crosby:

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAMMY!

One day, we WILL sing this song together.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What is your favorite memory with your grandparents?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The 3 Faces of Facebook

I've been on Facebook for a couple years now and I've come to the realization that Facebook has its good days, and its bad.

For me, the greatest benefit of Facebook has been reconnecting with old friends. For that, I give it two thumbs up.

I've learned that although I can not control what others post, I can control how much of it I read. Therefore, I only log on once a day. Once...that's it, unless I get a notification. Otherwise, once a day is PLENTY for me.

Sure, I can hide people (and I have hidden people before), but I've stopped doing that because every now & then, even THAT hidden person has something interesting to say. So if I hide people, I might miss the "something interesting".

Another way that I limit what goes in is by only reading what fits in the window on my screen. I never scroll down. So something has to either be in my "top news" or "most recent" in order for me to even see it. That's typically 2-3 posts.

In my observation, I've learned that there are pretty much 3 types when it comes to FB. I like to call them, "The 3 Faces of Facebook".

*Type 1, logs on often, comments and posts often.

*Type 2, logs on once a day and only more if notifications are received (this is ME...that's why it's so specific).

*Type 3, logs on every now & then, maybe once a week, maybe less than that.

And so, I am left to wonder...Am I the ONLY one who has had to alter their approach to Facebook?

When it comes to my posts, I've chosen to take the Matthew 5:16 approach:

"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

If my posts are negative, then where is my light? So I try to keep 'em positive.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Which of the 3 Faces of Facebook are you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

T.I.P.S.

Ok. So I'm having one of those "I don't get it" moments. Maybe you can help.

You go to a restaraunt, and at the END of the meal, you leave a TIP.

Now...from what I understand, TIP or TIPS (to be exact) stands for "To Insure Prompt Service"

If that's the case, shouldn't the TIP come at the BEGINNING of the meal???

I mean, yes...one should work hard and provide the best service with the HOPE that they will be tipped well at the end. But I gotta tell ya...as the mother of someone who works in a restaurant, I am HOT UNDER THE COLLAR over the amount of people who do NOT TIP after my daughter has provided EXCELLENT service.

Yeah...they fill out a "comment card" rating her service as Excellent, but how 'bout rewarding her MONETARILY for her excellent service!!! Those comment cards don't put gas in her car! Your TIPS do!!!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you agree that TIP should come at the BEGINNING of the meal, or does it make sense to leave it at the end (and have people gyp my daughter out of the TIPS that she so greatly deserves?)

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Reinventing ME

Today was day one of my unemployment.

Still hasn't hit me yet.

For me, this is a great time for introspection. Time to really figure out who I am and what I want to do next. Actually, I know who I am, I just need my next career to match who I am.

There are so many options it's difficult for me to choose just one. And you know what...the beauty is this...I don't have to choose. I can do EVERYTHING that I want. Why not?

So here's my "career wish list":

*Fulfill my passion for writing and complete my first novel.

*Work for a non-profit organization that will allow me to financially take care of my children while at the same time, care for and positively enhance the lives of others.

*Record the song that I recently wrote (Ah HA! You knew that I sing, but you didn't know that I write songs too...GOTCHA!)

*Teach

Oh, did I mention that I've never done any of the above. Nope, all of my previous jobs have been at a desk in a cubicle.

No more cubicle for me. I'm stretching my wings and I'm ready to FLY. I am reinventing ME, and it feels good.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you currently unemployed? If so, what do you want to do next as far as your career is concerned? Do the same thing, or are you (like me) going to do "a new thing"?

Talk to me!

Til next time...