Little Things

Tonight I had yet another very bittersweet visit with my Mom.

Bitter because it greatly pains me to see her in the condition that she is in.

Sweet because I saw her smile and watched her eyes light up. There isn't enough money in the world that can equate to the joy that came from that moment.

As I sat by her bedside this evening, she cried. Cried over things that aren't real. Cried over things that are. And she wouldn't eat, nor drink. She just wanted to "be". I tried my best to honor her requests, yet at the same time, I know that she needs to eat. And with perfect timing, in walked the dietitian. He also knows how important it is for her to eat so he started asking about things that she might like to have. Everything was a no until he mentioned ice cream. She perked up and said, "Yes. I would like sherbert." I told him that she loves rainbow and he told us that he'd be right back. Really? They've got sherbert?

Moments later, Louie walked in with a small bowl full of rainbow sherbert. My mom was like a kid on Christmas morning.

I asked if she wanted me to help her. She said, "No. I can do it."

As weak and fragile as she is, she still insists on doing as much as she can, by herself. She says she doesn't want to bother anybody. That always makes me a bit teary. In her condition we should all be doing as much as we can to help her. She's not a bother in the least. She is my mother.

I sat by her bed and watched her savor each bite. At times she would veer off into conversation and when I could see her getting sad I would remind her, "Keep eating your sherbert before it melts." In that instant the sadness would disappear and she would return to her "joy in a bowl."

The time came for me to leave, I told her that I love her and headed back to my car...determined not to cry. If I had let ONE tear fall I'm not sure that I would've been able to stop the rest.

One thing I did do though was thank God for yet another one of those "little things" that mean so very much. A bowl of rainbow sherbert will never be the same for me. From this day forward, it will always taste sweeter, and I will savor each spoonful just as my beautifully brave mother savored hers.

I may have made it to my car without shedding a tear, but I didn't make it through this post.

Let the Dialogue begin: What "little thing" are YOU thankful for today?

Talk to me!

Til next time...