The First of The "Firsts"

So today is Thanksgiving and I can say that I've made it through.

I wasn't sure how things were gonna go, but they went, and I'm ok.

For those who don't know...my Mom passed away 18 DAYS AGO, so this was my first Thanksgiving without her.

Everyone who's lost a close loved-one has told me that the "Year of Firsts" will be difficult.

For me they will be in this order:
Thanksgiving
Mom's Birthday
Christmas
Easter
Mother's Day
My Birthday

One down, five to go.

For the most part, pretty much everything felt the same today. We'd stopped gathering as a big family years ago, so I'd usually stop by in the evening for a bit. Wouldn't even eat dinner because I would've already eaten earlier. The visit was merely to stop by and hang out. That's what I did today. Primarily to check on my Dad & brothers to see how they were holding up. Everything was pretty much as it had always been. The only differences were that my Mom didn't come out of her room as she used to do when I'd arrive, and her physical presence was now in the form of ashes in a box, still packaged in a plastic bag with the mortuary's name on it.

That was a bit difficult to process. Knowing that all of my Mom in the PHYSICAL sense now fit into a box sitting on the coffee table. It's kind of ironic when I think about it. In life, my mother NEVER fit into a box...meaning society's box. She always beat to her own drum and was one of the most unique people I knew. Now...she fits into a box about 2 feet by 3 feet, if even that big.

Thankfully, I know that her spirit is no where near that box. Her spirit is eternally in Heaven with our Lord Jesus. And in that I find complete peace and comfort.

What will we do with her ashes? Who knows.

I think my Dad wants to put them in a nice urn. I'd love to sail out to sea and scatter them. Perhaps I'm being selfish in my suggestion because if the ashes were MINE, I'd most definitely want to be sprinkled in my favorite place...the ocean.

He needs time though and that's understandable. He feels the need to hold on to the ashes as a means of holding on to her. I get that. We all process death differently, so he's free to do what he pleases with her ashes if they bring him comfort.

So folks...there you have it.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you had a loved one cremated, and if so, what did you do with the ashes?

Talk to me!

Til next time...