Who Cares What Anybody Thinks?!? I do!!!

Tonight will be another short one, mainly because I'm tired.

So tomorrow is my running group's end of the month "all-group" run. That's where the various groups from different cities all meet up in ONE city and run together.

As much as I want to go, there's a big part of me that doesn't. That's the shameful part that doesn't want everyone to see how much weight I've gained. One of the women who will be there tomorrow actually helped me to lose 26 pounds back in 2012 (has since unfriended me) and I'm sure will look at me with disgust tomorrow...as if all of her efforts were for naught.

That's really not the case. It's just that life and depression got in the way of my weight loss efforts and as a result, I'm fat again.

But I love being out with my group, and even though I'm sure that I will come in LAST, I still want to be there.

So we'll see how it goes. Either SHAME will win and I'll end up staying home (again), or I will no concern myself with what others think and I'll get my fat butt out there. I'll let you know tomorrow.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is there anything that you are ashamed of?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Seeing and BELIEVING

Not everyone knows my story so on January 29th every year I tell it again, as a reminder to some, and as new info to others.

The short and skinny of it is this: On January 29th, 2009 at the suggestion of my optometrist, I went to see a retina specialist because my I had some "interesting things" going on with my eyes.

So I go to the specialist's office and IMMEDIATELY realize that something is wrong. I am the YOUNGEST person in the office, buy AT LEAST 40 YEARS!!!

I get checked in, get my pupils dilated and proceed to have images taken of my eyes all while EXTREMELY BRIGHT LIGHT is being shone in them. My eyes teared, and teared, and teared some more. I think at one point I pleaded with them to stop taking the images, but of course, they couldn't, so they didn't.

After the images were taken I went back into the waiting room until it was my turn to see the specialist.

He calls me in, looks at my images and before he even introduces himself, he comes right out with, "Is there a history of BLINDNESS in your family?"

WHAT?!?

What kind of way is THAT for us to start off???

I tell him no.

He them draws a picture of an eyeball, marks it up and says, "That's what's going on in YOUR eyes. Rips, tears, holes..."

I was numb. Not really knowing what any of that meant.

Finally, I found my voice and asked him, "So what do we do about it?"

His cold response, "Nothing".

"So I'm going to lose my eyesight?"

He replied, "Most people have a 1 in 10,000 chance of losing their vision. YOU have a 1 in 100 chance. I have to tell you, YOURS are the WORST eyes I've ever seen, and I see thousands of patients each year."

The numbness returned.

"So there's nothing I can do?"

"Nothing. Just come in twice a year so that we can monitor the degeneration, but other than that, no...nothing to stop it."

Well alrighty then!

He scheduled for me to come back in 3 weeks, maybe 6 (I can't remember), to do some follow up tests, and sent me on my not-so-merry way.

No sooner than I left his office I IMMEDIATELY fell into a depression. He had just told me that I was going to lose my eyesight, sooner rather than later.

I came home and CRIED. My kids cried with me because they could see how torn up I was. My doctor took me off work, because I stopped functioning. In my mind, I was going blind...and I didn't know when. It was the WORST news I'd ever received in my LIFE!

After a while I realized that I had to "snap out of it". I still had a life to live and children to take care of. I had to get myself together! And I prayed.

Of course, my initial prayer was, "Lord, please don't let this happen."

Over time it became, "Lord, let Your will be done." Now THAT was a difficult prayer to pray!!! That meant that if I kept my eyesight, I would accept it, and if I LOST my eyesight, I would accept that too.

So I go back to the specialist a few weeks later, they take those HORRIBLE bright light images again, and I see "Dr. Doom and Gloom" to go over everything.

He looks over the images...perplexed.

He calls someone else in to look at them...now they're BOTH perplexed...and I'm curious.

"Dr. Doom & Gloom" asks, "Where is the hole?"

The assistant says, "I don't see it."

The doctor says, "It was in the last images. Why isn't it in these?"

I say, "Because I have PRAYED to the Lord who MADE THESE EYES and He has removed whatever was there."

Now they are both looking at me like I am from another planet.

WHATEVER! I know that I serve an omnipotent God and He is able to heal whenever and however He so chooses. THIS I KNOW.

So he sent me away again, and I've NEVER been back. I see my optometrist regularly, but I will NEVER go back to that man. Even if I do need to see another specialist in the future, it won't be he who lacks compassion.

Yes, my eyes still do things that most folks' eyes don't do.
Yes, I have to wear "special" sunglasses even on days when the sun isn't so bright, and I wear them OVER my regular glasses.
No, I can't wear contacts anymore because I "see stars" when I put them in.

But PRAISE BE TO GOD that I CAN STILL SEE!!!

He made these eyes and He has sustained my vision. That's why I notice things than most overlook...because I SEE and APPRECIATE EVERYTHING.

So on this day, January 29th 2015, I am celebrating my 6 year BIRTHDAVERSARY. I call it a birthdaversary because I feel like that was the day that I really began seeing life from a different perspective...and being ever-so-thankful for it.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have any health related BIRTHDAVERSARIES that YOU celebrate each year?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The Main Ingredient is...

So I'm a fairly private person and don't much of my business "out there". But every now and then, something AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL happens and I just have to share. Tonight's post was inspired by my beloved "Joe" and what he did for me yesterday. I'll start off with our phone conversation:

5:16 p.m., phone rings {I'm still at work}
Me: Hey.
Joe: Hey, what's goin' on?
Me: Not much. Just workin'.
Joe: You're still at work?
Me:Yep
Joe: For how long?
Me: Not long. Maybe another 15 mins.
Me: What are you up to?
Joe: Not much. Just over here at my sister's house.
Me: The one near me?
Joe: Yep
Me: Well, if you're that close you should swing by.
Joe: Yeah, I think I will. I'm kinda hungry.
Me: There's plenty of food for you to make a sandwich, or if you want something hot, there's leftover spaghetti.
Joe: Do you have garlic bread?
Me: Yep.
Joe: Cool. I'm gonna do that. I'll probably be there before you though.
Me: That's fine. You have a key.
Joe: Yeah, I know. Alright, I'll see you when you get home.

***20 minutes later***
{phone rings}
Me: Hey.
Joe: Have you left yet?
Me: Yep, I'm on my way now.
Joe: Alright then.
Me: See you in a bit.

***

So I get home, open the door, and there's Joe, just chillin'. His presence always puts an IMMEDIATE SMILE on my face.

We "greeted" each other.
I asked him if he had eaten.
He said no.
I asked why, there's plenty of food.

At that moment he gets up, takes my hand, escorts me to the kitchen and motions for me to have a seat. So I do. I'm still not 100% sure about what's going on but whatever it is, I'm enjoying it. I'm thinking that we're gonna have the leftover spaghetti together.

He then grabs some dishes from the cupboard, heads over to the stove and proceeds to "plate" my dinner. Dinner that HE cooked! He made chicken fettucini alfredo with broccoli, garlic bread, and prepared a salad!

So he brings my plate to me, then serves up his own, and we dined and conversed by the light of the candle that he had placed in the center of the table. WHAT?!? Yes!!!

It was better than any restaurant experience we could've had.

After we finished eating I thought for a minute and said, "You were already here when you called me, weren't you?" He said, "Woman I'd been here for hours. Got here, ascertained the situation then went out and bought everything."

He could tell that my eyes were asking, why.

*cue the music and get your tissue for this next part*

He proceeded to tell me, "You work hard and I wanted you to just come home and rest without having to do anything...because you deserve it. *tear*

At this very moment...24 hours later, I am STILL smiling!

He just never ceases to amaze me. Last night's dinner was so much more than a meal. It was LOVE served on a plate...and it was DELICIOUS!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Ladies...what is the most THOUGHTFUL thing a man has ever done for you, and how long ago was it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

I Pray for You, You Pray for Me...and Watch God Change Things

This one's gonna be short and sweet tonight because my heart is simply too heavy for anything more. For those of you who pray IN THE NAME OF JESUS, please, if you will...say a prayer for me. No need for me to go into detail...God already knows. Please and Thank You.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What can I pray for on your behalf?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Just Another TIRED Monday

Mondays are my long days and by the time 11:00 p.m. comes around I am COMPLETELY drained.

I leave for work at 7am and get off at 5pm. Tonight I had to take Jordan to

get her car out of the shop (only to find that it won't be ready until tomorrow). I took her back home and then headed to the Financial Peace class that I attend from 7pm-9pm.

So here it is...almost 11:00, I still have a zillion things to do, and only enough energy to crawl into bed. So THAT'S what I'm gonna do.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is there a particular day of the week that you find wears you out more than others?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Say It Loud!!!

So a few weeks ago "Joe" and I were talking about some of his "favorites". His favorite movie is "Roots" followed very closely by "Coming To America." One of...and this very well MAY BE his favorite books is Assata: An Autobiography by Assata Shakur.

So many things about Joe fascinate me, especially his love and passion for helping to empower people in the community. He thrives on doing exactly what I wish I could do EVERYDAY. He is all about community activism which is one of the many characteristics that I love about him.

Finding myself curious, I went to my local library and got the book. Can I tell you...it has been virtually impossible to put down. I am LOVING it, and wondering how it is that I'd never read it before now.

Then again...I'm not THAT surprised. You see, books like these aren't part of the "mainstream curriculum" at most schools. Not in grades K-12 and sadly, not in most colleges, except for the HBCUs. When I consider those facts, it's really NOT that surprising that I've never read the book.

Here's what I'm finding though...as I've just gotten through a little over half of the book, I'm anxious for it to end, yet I don't want it to end, and I am ready for MORE books like this one which detail the "Black struggle" and the strength of those who have been brutalized, yet endured as a result.

So many stories have been told. So many stories I have yet to read.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What are some of YOUR favorite books about the Civil Rights Movement, and the amazing folks who fought through it. Not so much a "physical" fight, but a fight for their lives, just to make it through.

Talk to me...

Til next time...

Do You SEE What I HEAR?

So in one of my Facebook groups today someone posed this question:

"What is the strangest/weirdest/craziest thing that has ever happened to you at a nightclub?"

I replied with the following:
"This doesn't really fall under strange/weird/or crazy...but kinda funny. Back in the early 90s I used to listen to 92.3 The Beat. At that time (some of you may remember) there was a DJ/Radio Personality named "Theo". OMG...I LOVED that dude! His voice made me melt and I absolutely hung on his every word. Sooo...one night I hear that he's gonna be at a local club. Me and my best friend get all "gussied up" and we head to the club, so that I can FINALLY meet "Mr. Melting Pot" in person. We're there for a couple hours and I'm looking at all the fine chocolate "bruthas" in the place wondering, "Is THAT one him...is THAT one him?" Later that night the moment I had been waiting for finally arrived and out he came...My eyes grew to the size of saucers. "Mr. Melting Pot" wasn't Black at all...he was ASIAN!!! What?!? That tripped me out. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that the dude with the sexy chocolate voice would be Asian. Me & my friend laughed about that for I don't know HOW long. Theo got me good that night...yep, he got me good."

Now it's YOUR turn...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever met someone in person (after ONLY hearing their voice), and they were COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what you had envisioned?

Talk to me!

Til next time...