Happy 2nd Birthdaversary to Me!

January 29, 2009. Not a good day for me. Not a good day at all.

That was my 1st visit to the dreaded retina specialist. "Dr. Bad News" "Dr. Discouragement" "Dr. There's just no Hope"

The worst doctor visit of my life!

In a nutshell, he told me that I would more than likely lose my eyesight. Couldn't pinpoint exactly when, just shook his head and sent on my merry way.

That was exactly 2 years ago today and I thank God today and everyday for continual eyesight. My God created these eyes. My God opens these eyes every day. My God has HEALED these eyes. Hallelujia!!!

So I call January 29th my "Birthdaversary". It's the day that my life began all over again. It's the day when I began to truly live and SEE the beauty of each and everyday. And on this day each year, I simply reflect on the goodness of God and how He continues to keep me and my senses functioning properly.

All glory, honor and praise go to God and God alone!!!

Thank you Jesus for all that You have done, are doing, and will continue to do.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! In what way have YOU been healed by God?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Oh yeah...241.2 was the number today.

I'm bringing TALKING back!

Although technology has it perks, it's a major relationship killer. Texting and emailing are simply impersonal.

Ok, I get it if you're trying to reach your friends to find out where you're all gonna meet, you know...stuff like that.

But when it comes to discussing important matters (that I won't go into here), I say this: PICK UP THE PHONE, DIAL THE NUMBER AND TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!

Urgh!

I have this motto that I use when I'm fed up with the impersonalization of texting and emailing...it's simply this: I'm bringing TALKING back! That's it, simple, yet so complex.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you prefer texting over actual TALKING?

TALK to me (and if you have my number...CALL me)!

Til next time...

Who's Wii is it anyway?

I must say...texting and emailing can't hold a candle to actual VERBAL communication.

The tone just never quite comes over the way that it was probably intended. At least I'm hoping that's the case with the latest text that I just received.

So a few years ago I bought the kids a Wii for Christmas. Mind you, we don't play it everday, but when we get the urge to play, it's nice to know that it's here.

Well, as most children of parents who are no longer together, my kids leave our home and go visit their dad every other weekend. By the way, I HATE that arrangement! I didn't have kids with a man to have them only see him every other weekend. I had children with him so that we could raise them TOGETHER in the same home. But, I'll save that for another post on another day.

Anyhoo...so the kids are with their dad every other weekend. Well a while back my son decided to take the Wii with him. Fine. I had no problem with that. Until...it never came back home. For months, it was over there.

Well, with the dawning of a new year, I decided to get back into Wii Fit. I don't knwo about you, but it's a little tough for me to do Wii Fit when the Wii is somewhere else. So I had my son bring the Wii back home.

Today I get a text from his dad asking if "there's some reason why I won't let TJ take the Wii over there anymore?" Followed by, "It's cool, I'll just by him one for here". Like I'm trying to be mean spirited and evil for wanting our Wii in OUR home.

Seriously...does EVERYTHING have to be an issue? Everything???

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Who's Wii is it anyway? Okay...not really. How 'bout this...Have you ever had anything from your home disappear and find residency in another home?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

P.S. - the weight today is 239. Down from last week, but still too much.

Psalm 34:1

So today I thought I'd do a little something different. Instead of complaining about all the things that are wrong in my life, I want to focus on the fact that I am BLESSED, regardless of my circumstance.

Although I am completely unfulfilled in my current job, I am BLESSED to have a job.
My son broke his arm last month and thanks to the fact that I have a job, my insurance covered the majority of the expense. Without my job, who knows how much it would have cost. I tell you this much, it would have cost more that what I have.

Although I only have $9.00 in my bank account right now, I am BLESSED.
We have enough food to get us through the week, and I have enough spare change to pay for gas so that I can get to work these next 4 days. The lights are on and we are sleeping in our own beds in our own home. Not many could make it on the little that we have, but I know that God is a provider...always has been, always will be, so I'm not worried.

Although I'm single with no prospects of a boyfriend or husband in sight, I am BLESSED. Yes, a man in my life would be nice, but I realize that this life may just consist of "me, myself and I" for the rest of my life. Ya know what...I love me, and I'm okay with living with just me if God so chooses. I don't understand why He's chosen for me to be alone and I've gotten tired of asking. So, it is what it is, and whatever it is...I'm still BLESSED.

As I type the letters on this screen I can see each and every letter as it shows up. I am BLESSED. People take for granted the fact that they are able to SEE. Some people have never once given thought to the fact that when they open their eyes they are able to see. I never EVER take my eyesight for granted. I thank God for the ability to see each and every morning when I wake up, and every night when I lay my head down to go to sleep. May after you read this, you should too.

Oh, I could go on and on, but for now, I will just leave it at this: I will bless the Lord at ALL times!

Rich, Poor, Employed, Unemployed, Single, Married, Sick, or Healthy...I WILL Bless the Lord at ALL times.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you bless the Lord when things are going well? How 'bout when they're not going so well?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Sweetbitter Sunday

Here we are again. Coming to the end of another "sweetbitter" Sunday.

Yes, I know that the more common term is "bittersweet" but for me, the sweet comes before the bitter, so that's how I choose to describe it.

Sweet, because I love what Sunday represents. The day that we go to God's house to offer praise and worship unto Him. The day that I get to just hang out with my family and chill. Sunday, I love it...until...

Sunday evening rolls around. Which is right about now. This is where the bitter comes in. Where the depression sets in and I just don't want to move. Because as every minute passes I'm getting closer and closer to being back in "hell". Yes, I said it...HELL. That's what my job is. Absolute, never ending torment. And it just gets worse day after day, week after week, month after month. I even had a manager openly admit to me that if I think things are bad now (and they are), they're only going to get worse. No light at the end of the tunnel. No "just hang on, things'll get better". Nope, none of that. Well, at least she didn't lie to me.

I really think that the issues at my job are designed to make me want to quit. But I won't do it. If I quit, then my family suffers, and I don't want them to suffer any more than they already do.

And it's not like I'm not trying. Most people would have given up a long time ago and just said "screw it". But that's not me. No, I still go in everyday, do my best, and like a hamster on a treadmill, I'm getting nowhere. Can't keep up with all the emails. Can't keep up with the calls. Just can't keep up. Used to be able to. But that's when my position was a reasonable position that one person could successfully fulfill. Now, my position requires at least THREE people in order to be performed successfully, and that's just not happening.

So, I suffer and dread Mondays...and Tuesdays...and Wednesdays...and Thursdays. Fridays are only bearable because I know that it's the last day of the week that I have to endure, and then...two blissful days away from the madness.

Even as I'm typing, I know that I need to logon and see what awaits me tomorrow, and/or stay up all night to do what I can to have a clean slate in the morning. The problem is...the slate is never clean anymore. There's just too much for one person...waaay too much.

And before you go yelling at me, I'll say now what I've said before...Yes...I'm grateful to have a job. Yes, I know that thousands of the unemployed would love to have my job. I get it. That doesn't change the situation, yet I do get it.

So...enough of my ranting and raving about my job. Now it's time for you to chime in:

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you working? If so, is your company hiring?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

242.2

Yes folks, 242.2

That was the lovely number on the scale this morning. Don't trip though, 'cause I'm not.

I'm well aware that the number went up from last week to this. And I'll tell you, this is the story of my life. Weight loss has always been an uphill battle for me and probably will be for the rest of my life. Some women are just natural destined to be thin regardless of what they eat or how much (or little) they excercise. This is not the case for me.

Contrary to what YOU may be thinking, I don't stuff my face with cookies, candy, ice cream, and fattening fried foods. Nope if you and I dined together, you'd see that my diet is quite healthy. As a matter fact, this past week I didn't have any of the above, nor any meat, yet...the weight went up.

Not that I'm one for excuses, because I'm not, but there are three factors that I am sure have contributed to the gain.

1. Hormonal changes (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about)
2. My sedentary job (yes, I'm a "cubee" surrounded by cloth covered gray walls 8 hours a day. Only gettin up to go pee and maybe take a 30 minute lunch break. Most days though, lunch is right there at that desk)
3. Lack of physical activity. By the time I get home from work each night it's usually already 7 or 8 o'clock. Some days, later. And the emotional drain from my job leaves me with absolutely NO energy to do anything except "decompress" to get the day's happenings off of me.

So, with all that said, what will I do to ensure that the number goes down by next Saturday? Don't really know.

Guess you'll just have to tune in next Saturday to see what happens.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is your job making you fat?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

SMH

Sunday. One of my favorite days of the week.

Although I fully understand that when it comes to praising and worshipping God, I can do that anywhere and any time of day. However, there is something special about actually going to church, "God's house", and fellowshipping with others.

We always begin our Sunday service with "Praise and Worship". That's our way of ushering in the Spirit. Kinda like telling God, "Okay...we're ready for You. Come on in." Not that anyone has to invite God into His own house, but hopefully, you understand what I'm talking about.

For me, "Praise and Worship" is a time for me to just reflect. Think about the absolute goodness of God and all that He means to me. Once the reflection begins, I find it hard to stay in my seat. Quite honestly, I CAN'T stay in my seat. I have to get up, clap my hands, and sing unto the Lord as loudly as I know how. I want Him to hear me. I need Him to hear me.

With all that said, I find it absolutely sad and disappointing to see others at church who just sit with their arms folded, week after week, month after month, year after year, as if God has done absolutely NOTHING for them, and they don't have a reason to praise Him. To that, I shake my head and say, HELLOOO!!! If you were able to walk into church on your own two feet, then YOU have something to praise Him for! If you can HEAR the songs and the message that's being delivered, then YOU have something to praise Him for! If you came in here with clothes on your body, and had a little something to eat before service, or will go have something to eat after service, then YOU have something to praise Him for! Oh, and if you didn't have ANY of THOSE things, yet He woke you up to see the beauty of another day...guess what...YOU have something to praise Him for.

Get my point?

After all of the goodness, grace, mercy, etc, etc, that God has given to each and every one of us, I just don't understand how people can "sit on God". Seriously!!!

Now I realize that not everybody praises and worships the same way. I get that. But COME ON...every now and then, it wouldn't hurt to just show God a little bit of gratitude. That's all I'm sayin'.

Oh, and for those who say, "I'm not a Christian, so this doesn't pertain to me." Ummm...I've got a little news for YOU my friend...Psalm 150:6 says: Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!

Did you catch that? Not, "Let every believer in Christ praise the Lord", no...it says Let everything that has breath...

So, my question is this: ARE YOU BREATHING???

Do I sound a little upset? Maybe it's because I am. God is too good to just sit on. Get up people! Clap your hands. Move your feet. Sing praises unto God, for He is worthy. So so worthy.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you a Praiser, a Worshipper, or both?

Talk to me!

Til next time...