When "Hurt People" hurt people, nobody heals.

Today, I'm frustrated. I've had enough. Absolutely, positively ENOUGH!

I just don't understand how and why people can be so mean. And what disgusts me more is that the people I'm writing about are Christians. They should know better.

I mean really, where is the light of Christ that others are supposed to see in these people? I'll tell you where it is...it's buried under all of their hurtful deeds. And Jesus, I assure you, is not pleased.

Sometimes I wonder if Jesus ever looks at God and says, "Really? You sent me down to die for THOSE people? REALLY?"

Although I completely realize that I am far from perfect, I do try to live my life in a way that will never have Jesus saying that He regrets dying for me. No...I never want Jesus to say that about ME.

But for some people I know, who profess to be Christians, hold Bible study in their homes, etc, etc...all the while, they are cutting others down with their words and actions...I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!

And it hurts. It hurts me to see the hurt that these people are causing to others. And every time the hurt seems to be healing, these people come in and scrape the wound all over again so that the wound remains fresh. Why?

Where is the love that Jesus commanded us to show toward one another? In these, so-called Christians...I just don't see it. It used to be there. How do I know, because I used to worship with them. But a strong wind has blown in and an change has surely come. And now, I can hardly stomach being around them.

Have these people hurt me? Directly...no. Indirectly...yes. They've hurt someone I love dearly, and because of that, yes, they've hurt me too.

So what do I do when "hurt people" choose to hurt people...for me...I do all that know to do...I PRAY, and I give these hurtful people to God. You see, I can't change them, but God can. And in that, I have comfort, peace, reassurance. In that, I know that everything WILL be allright.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What do YOU do when people hurt you, or those you love? Do you retaliate...in word, or in action? Do you let time pass, and hope that the person/people will get some sense?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Water and Oil

So I just returned home today from a wonderful 2 day, 3 night stay in Las Vegas, celebrating my daughter Lauren's 21st birthday.

The company was great. Just me and Lauren.

But the longer we were there, the more I realized that Vegas is simply NOT the place for me. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Las Vegas stands for everything that I stand against. Frivoulous sex, over indulgent drinking, profanity, and the list goes on and on. Gotta say, it's appropriately named, "Sin City", and it's no place for me.

Seriously, the longer I stayed, the more my spirit became uncomfortable. I couldn't wait to get outta there and take my child with me. Yeah, she may be 21, but she's still my child.

So you're probably thinking..."If you dislike the place so much then why did you take her there in the first place?"

Well, I'm glad you asked.

I wanted Lauren's first experience in Vegas to be a "classy" experience vs. a "trashy" experience. With me, it was more of a vacation/tour. With her friends, it would have no doubt been an experience much different.

We hit all of the hotels and casinos, from the North end to the South. We had a great meal and margaritas at my favorite spot for margaritas...Margaritaville. And in case you're wondering...yes, it's okay to have a drink, it's just not okay to overindulge and become drunk. All in all we had a great time together.

Every now and then though, I wondered about what God must think of that place. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted out. Some people flee to get there. Me, I was fleeing to get out. I hadn't been there in 3 years, and if I don't go for another 3 (or more), that would be fine with me.

I'm so happy to say that I'm now home, and in the words of Dorothy, there's just no place like it.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! When was the last time you went to Las Vegas? What would you change about the place if you could?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

My Life Needs a New Size

I know, I know. It's been a while since my last post.

Why?

Because I'm tired. So so tired. All the time.

My days simply don't end. Every minute of every day is filled with "stuff" that needs to be done, but rarely is it filled with "stuff" that I actually WANT to do.

As tired as I am, even at this very moment, I've decided to sit down and write, because I need to.

What to write about? How 'bout this...

The other day I posted this as the status on my FB page:

"...wonders what life would be like if i had time to do the things i LOVE to do (singing, writing, ministry, being a real mom to my kids...doing mom stuff) instead of spending all my time doing things i HAVE to do. sure would be nice. i definitely took a wrong turn somewhere."

Needless to say, I didn't get very many comments. Not surprising. People don't know what to make of a comment like that. And they really don't know how to take me. People don't "get me", and I totally "get" that.

So for any one who's trying to figure out what my post meant, let me help you out:

In a nutshell, I've outgrown my life. Much like the way little kids outgrow their shoes and then need a new pair...my hopes, dreams, aspirations, desires, goals, etc., have become much greater than where and who I've been. It's time for a change. Time for me to grow into the life I desire. Time for me to fulfill those things that are so much more than my past. My life needs a new size.

For those who are content with who they are and where they are in life, the fit will always be comfortable. But for me, the fit is just way too small right now, but I'll know when I'm finally in the size that fits. It'll feel right. It'll be comfortable. Until...I grow again.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Does the size of your life fit? Is it too small? Or too big?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Growth

There's a saying that we have in church that goes a little somethin' like this:

"I'm not who I want to be but I'm so glad that I'm not who I used to be".

That's me, right now.

Most people who know me would pretty much describe me as "fun-loving", "easy-going", "drama-free", yadda yadda yadda.

But there's one person...just ONE, who would say that I'm everything but any of the above.

I don't get it. I mean really...I just don't get it.

He says that he's the only one who know the REAL me, and everybody else just sees the me that I want them to see.

Okay now. I'm just gonna have to take that as the ultimate compliment because I would be a pretty darned good Academy Award Winning actress if I were able to full 99% of the people 99% percent of the time, and only show my TRUE self to him the other 1% of the time. Uh...NO!

As sad as it is for me to think, I really think that he's the one with the issue. One day he likes me, the next day he hates me. One day he says he trusts me, the next day he says he can't. I mean really...which one is it. Take a side for cryin' out loud.

Anyway...I said all that to say...he's done it again and has pulled the "I don't trust you" card. I don't even know where this stuff comes from. Really, I don't. I mean, I could understand it if I had been talking to people about him...you know...saying one thing to his face and another behind his back. But to the contrary, I've done none of that. And if I've said anything at all about him, it's only been good stuff. I just don't get it.

So with this new age of technology, people find it so easy to had behind a nasty text message. He is notorious for this. Cuts me to the quick in a text but doesn't say two words to me to my face.

Okay...so here's where that old church saying fits in.

If this were two years ago, he and I would be in a major texting, email battle. And it wouldn't be pretty. But tonight, I let him send his little bit of nastiness, and I didn't even reply. Oh, I WANTED to reply, but I never did. I let it go. Which can only mean 1 of 2 things.

1. He's wondering when and if I'm going to reply
or
2. He doesn't care if I reply

So why should either of those matter to me? They don't.

Nope, for me, the satisfaction comes in knowing that I (once again) have been the "bigger person" and have chosen to just leave it be. No need to repay evil for evil. The only result of that is two evil people. Nah...I'll pass.

But it's so nice to know that I've grown. Truly grown. I just don't let it bother me anymore. I've got too many other things to figure out in my life than why someone is choosing to harbor bitter and hatred against me for things past. I thought we'd both agreed to move on. Apparently not.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Who's holding a grudge against you? Why? Does it bother you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

What's in a Dream?

So I've not been sleeping very well lateley. Of course, it's from the overwhelmingly unhealthy amount of stress that I'm under at work. That place is just NOT normal. But I'm dealing with it as best I can, praying that God will make a way. I am trusting and believing that He will, and in that I have hope.

Funny though. My spirit believes that God will make a way and that everything will be alright. But my subconscious believes other wise, and so...every now and then I have trouble sleeping, and...this recurring dream.

Most of my dreams are about work and all of the stuff that's left undone because it's simply IMPOSSIBLE to do everything in a day.

But the dream that keeps coming back has nothing to do with work.

I keep dreaming that we still live at our old apartment, yet we're not supposed to be. We have a new place to live, yet we're "squatting" at our old place. Beds are still there, sewing machines are there. We live there, but we can't let the landlord nor the neighbors know.

It's wierd.

Then I wake up and wonder what it all means. Why do I keep going back there?

Our departure wasn't the friendliest. After living there for 13 years the landlord decided to "give us the boot" and terminated our lease. I paid my rent. Didn't have loud parties. Wasn't a disturbance to the neighbors. We were great tenants. Yet, we...were the ONLY tenants that he put out. He told me that he wanted to renovate the place so we had to move. Interstingly, none of the other tenants had to move and they'd been in their places equally long, if not longer than we had.

Oh, I could get into the reasons why I think we had to go, but I won't play that "card".

Anyway...I digress.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever had a recurrring dream? If so, what was it about? How often does it occur?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Happy 2nd Birthdaversary to Me!

January 29, 2009. Not a good day for me. Not a good day at all.

That was my 1st visit to the dreaded retina specialist. "Dr. Bad News" "Dr. Discouragement" "Dr. There's just no Hope"

The worst doctor visit of my life!

In a nutshell, he told me that I would more than likely lose my eyesight. Couldn't pinpoint exactly when, just shook his head and sent on my merry way.

That was exactly 2 years ago today and I thank God today and everyday for continual eyesight. My God created these eyes. My God opens these eyes every day. My God has HEALED these eyes. Hallelujia!!!

So I call January 29th my "Birthdaversary". It's the day that my life began all over again. It's the day when I began to truly live and SEE the beauty of each and everyday. And on this day each year, I simply reflect on the goodness of God and how He continues to keep me and my senses functioning properly.

All glory, honor and praise go to God and God alone!!!

Thank you Jesus for all that You have done, are doing, and will continue to do.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! In what way have YOU been healed by God?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Oh yeah...241.2 was the number today.

I'm bringing TALKING back!

Although technology has it perks, it's a major relationship killer. Texting and emailing are simply impersonal.

Ok, I get it if you're trying to reach your friends to find out where you're all gonna meet, you know...stuff like that.

But when it comes to discussing important matters (that I won't go into here), I say this: PICK UP THE PHONE, DIAL THE NUMBER AND TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!

Urgh!

I have this motto that I use when I'm fed up with the impersonalization of texting and emailing...it's simply this: I'm bringing TALKING back! That's it, simple, yet so complex.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you prefer texting over actual TALKING?

TALK to me (and if you have my number...CALL me)!

Til next time...