Today I had to hide another "friend" on FB. I'll call this "friend" Sam.
I didn't want to, but I was uncomfortable with Sam's posts. Sam has chosen to go through a therapeutic healing session on FB and I don't know how to respond. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to respond. I mean really, what is the response to someone who's opening up the closet of their life ON FB???
Perhaps I'm just waaay too private of a person and choose to only share my most private feelings with my closest friends. I have two such friends with whom I can share anything and everything, without judgement, and they are still my friends. But that's it. There are ONLY two!
Now I totally get the fact that what one posts on FB is purely their choice. There really aren't any rules or guidelines. After all, the question is "What's on your mind?" So...people answer the question. Sometimes, all too honestly.
I imagine that posting one's feelings on FB and getting feedback from "friends" is a whole lot cheaper than going to an actual therapist, but geez Louise. Is FB really the place?
I guess it all boils down to how one chooses to use their page. Me, I keep it positive. I'm there to uplift, encourage, make people laugh every now and then, share the good things that are happening in my life. I rarely (if ever) use it as a tool to bring people down. The world will do that on it's own.
So to Sam who has chosen to publicly work through issues of Sam's childhood, I wish you well and hope that your journey leads you to a place of wellness, I really do. I'm just a bit uncomfortable being along on the journey. And therein lies one of the benefits of FB...I can "hide" someone when I need to, and "unhide" when I think it's "safe to go back into the water".
Who knows...maybe some of my "friends" have hidden me. Not everybody can handle positivity. Some people find it downright boring. And you just don't find any "drama" on my page, which is what a lot of people tune in for.
Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you had to hide anyone on FB? If so, why?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
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The issue of privacy on Facebook gets to be fascinating, I assume because it's fairly new (several years old), and there are hardly any standards on how much or how little privacy to sacrifice to social networking fame. It really is up to the individual. It's noteworthy to check out what people choose to broadcast, and what they don't. Some people are protective of their image, and others apparently don't care how they appear. It's kinda like what people choose to wear. Fashion is personal, and it says something about you. There's a desperation within some people, and they try to combat being lonely by upping every detail about themselves, no matter how trivial, in order to get responses from others. Akin to a performer looking at the audience reaction and deciding if they are "accepted" or not. There's primal psychology involved. It seems that the new social frontier is the internet, and so the etiquette will evolve on how to "tune in" to people that interest you, and "tune out" people whose expressions you would rather avoid. Just like real life. No matter who you are, there are people who like you, and people who don't. As our privacy level becomes more and more non-existent, it will be interesting to see the new way of dealing with it emerge. Never have we known so much about each other. Sometimes that is great, sometimes...LOL!...it's NOT!
ReplyDeleteYou've made a great point. Whether it's blogging, tweeting, or status updates...how people choose to "share" is as different as our styles of fashion. Me...I'm a jeans, t-shirt & flip flop kinda girl. Others prefer trendy fashions & high heeled shoes. And then there are those who would choose to mix the two styles. It's all about what works for the individual. I totally get that. So to my "friend" Sam, and the many others who feel comfortable sharing far beyond MY comfort zone, I say "more power to you". Maybe one day this clam will come out of its shell and share as openly with the world. Highly doubtful, but anything's possible.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny. There's a lot of things being written about what not to put on social sites because employers could see it, etc. Some amount of public relations skill is going to eventually be applied to social networking I truly believe. Celebrities USED to carefully construct an image of themselves, leaving some mystery, so that there was that factor of imagining they had a "stars" life. That gets deflated a bit when we watch celebrities washing dishes, picking up dry cleaning, and arguing with people with no regard for dignity on reality shows. Maybe some mystery is good for EVERYONE. I don't think we have to know everything. Perhaps what music or movies friends like is interesting, but do I need to know that people shop at Walmart? Do I need to see pictures of the sandwich they ate for lunch? Maybe not so much. Personally I prefer the illusion that people are doing more interesting things? It kinda verifies the opposite, when the most trivial of daily rundowns are posted hourly. I don't think the impression that you REALLY spend the entire day on a Blackberry with aching thumbs is a good thing. LOL! Mine is just one of many opinions out there, but it's a giant world.
ReplyDeleteToo funny!!! Thank you for your comment. I share your exact sentiments and wholeheartedly agree with not needing to see pictures of the sandwich someone ate for lunch. Interestingly though, those posts almost ALWAYS get comments. And if it's a post filled with negativity...that is certain to have a string of comments to follow. Whereas I can post something meaningful, and not hear a peep from anyone. Not that I'm "Positivity Patty", but as I've said before, the world has enough in it that's wrong and can bring you down. It doesn't need any help from me and I don't intend to help it. If I had to summarize social media I'd do it in two words, "thought vomiting". There really aren't any filters. Whatever's in, is gonna come out. BLEHK!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Thought vomiting. That's a good name for a band, too. I can see the t-shirts already!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm fond of saying that the internet replaced the bathroom wall. I used to read the scattered debris of low intelligence displayed on the cubicle walls as I answered nature's call. Now I can peruse this in the comfort of my living room. Or Starbucks if you have a laptop. It's like the opposite of Shakespeare.
This has shown me how many voyeurs of negativity (another band name)there are in this world. There's aggressions underneath our smiling faces and designer shirts. People like to fight, and watch each other fight, because that's all reality shows really are. Jerry Springer was a big promoter of domestic professional wrestling and he used to say "take care of yourself, and each other" at the end of the show. Maybe that tagline should be the footer after every email comment posted! LOL!
"voyeurs of negativity"...that IS a good one. Perhaps they should tour together, "Thought Vomiting and Voyeurs of Negativity"...Live in Concert! In spite of the negativity and pics of what people have eaten that day, FB still has a pull that just makes one want to look. Kinda like a bad car wreck...you don't WANT to look but you find your neck craning in the direction of the accident anyway. Thankfully, I no longer look when I pass by the site of an accident. If help has already arrived I simply say a prayer and keep it movin'. My approach to Facebook is that I only read the posts that fit in my window (typically 3-4 fit). I don't scroll down. I read the 3 or 4, comment if something interests me, and then I'm out. I doubt that much will change with social media. As long as it remains unfiltered the quest to find one or two decent posts in the haystack of not-so-decent ones will continue.
ReplyDeleteOk...to prove my point...here's a bit of "thought vomit" that someone spewed today (I've put X and Y where there were names):
ReplyDelete"hey X i hate to tell you this and you not gone believe it Y jus passed away last night!!"
Now...did this REALLY need to be posted on someone's WALL??? Couldn't this information have been conveyed PRIVATELY? After all...there is the "send message" option.
SMH!
I think that the voyeuristic/exhibitionist tendencies of society probably stem from the fact that human beings are communal creatures. We are interested in what the other ones are doing because we move our culture along as a group. That's why we follow trends, and are somewhat predictable sometimes. Also we are thrill seeking, so negative stuff (tragedy) yanks at the heart strings assuredly. Love, comedy, and tragedy have prevailed over time as proven favorites. Weeding the garden is necessary in this world. Of all the books I have read, and it's a lot, I would say only about 200 of them were good enough to change my viewpoint. That's 200 out of the millions of potential books out there. So, I look at it this way: All the low wattage stuff I endure just makes the great stuff even better. Something will come along to tickle the synapses. It always does. In the meantime, social media is proving to be a very good barometer of what is going on culturally worldwide, and although a lot of it is tedious, some of it is VERY interesting.
ReplyDeleteOne thing is certain, we've definitely become social media voyeurs. Sometimes seeing things that make us say "hmmm", and others times making us say "hmmm?". If nothing else it has all become "VERY interesting".
ReplyDelete