Praising IN The Storm

Today has not been the best.

I woke up late and missed my bus for church. Thankfully, my daughter Lauren then offered to drop me off.

As I was getting ready, I checked my bank account balance (pictured here.) Took a deep breath, and continued getting ready.

Soon thereafter, my phone rang. Received some unsettling news that shook me. At that point I was ready to just call it a day. It wasn't even 10 am yet.

But no...

I finished getting ready and let Lauren drop me off at church. At that point I simply fell apart and could not stop the tears from falling.

I need more help now than I have ever needed in my life, in a MAJOR way! Yet even with this knowledge, and my current situation, I knew that I still needed to give God the honor and praise that He so rightly deserves. Yes, even with $27.02 TO MY NAME...He is worthy to be praised.

You see...one thing I know, is that God's praise is not dependent upon MY circumstance.

As Psalm 34:1 states:

"I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth." 

That doesn't say at SOME times, or when times are GOOD. No, it says at ALL times...which means that even now...with blow after blow that keeps coming my way...I must still praise Him.

And so...I did.

Tears POURED from my eyes, and I sang from my heart...to my God.

Just in case folks are thinking that a $27.02 bank balance is "no big deal," or would like to tell me to just "hold on" until payday...I don't HAVE a "payday" at this time. There is NOTHING coming in until I get a new job.

I have been on numerous interviews and nothing has happened yet. However...I believe that is about to change. It MUST!

I went on two interviews last Thursday. One was for a job that I am an excellent match for, and it is a match for me as well.

The other...not so much. They need someone who is far more skilled in Excel than I am. Sure, I can learn Excel and become more advanced, but they'd like someone with that knowledge "right out the gate."

So...back to the first interview.

The agency that sent me told me that they received highly positive feedback and that out of four candidates, I am in the "top two." Yes!

Sometime next week I will be asked to go into the office for half a day just to see "first hand" what the job entails. From there, the company will make their decision.

I am ready to go in there with bells on! Not only because I want this job, but because I  NEED this job. With it I will be able to:

a) KEEP MY HOME (23 more days til the rent is due again)
b) get a car
c) help others when they need it (once I am back on my "financial feet")

So yeah. Things aren't looking too hot right now, yet I am faithfully believing that they are about to turn around. They simply have to! I can not imagine, nor do I want to imagine any other outcome.

I'm sure that there are those who will read this and say, "Welp...sucks to be you. But you created this situation and now it's up to YOU to get yourself out." I get that. I don't need that negativity and/or criticism right now because it doesn't do anything to HELP my situation, but I certainly "get it."

To those folks all I can say is, I AM TRYING!!! I have done everything I know to do to get back to work. EVERYTHING. And that is why the job that I mentioned above simply MUST come through. It just HAS to.

At this point I normally say, Let the DIALOGUE begin. Today will be the first time in all of my 600+ posts where I'm just going to leave it closed-ended. Today's post simply needed to be one that allowed me to share where I'm at. I'm sure that my transparency makes many uncomfortable, but I don't have anything to hide. This is my "current situation." The reason why so many folks who need help never get it is because they live in shame and never tell others what they're going through.

At this point, 16 people have viewed this post. One reached out with a comment (which I appreciate), and the other 15...who knows? It's become so easy these days to listen to one's cry for help and turn a deaf ear to it. That's just the world we live in. Sad, but true.

Anyhoo...just needed to get that out. I may be suffering, but I don't have to suffer in silence. This blog is my voice.  

Til next time...