You're Welcome

Today is Father's Day.

If you were in "The Den" on Mother's Day, you'll recall the gifts/sentiments that I received.

From my children, I received wonderful gifts. A candle, 2 poems, a picture frame. Really really nice.

From their father, I received a text message. That's it. That's all. A text. Nothing says "Thanks for being the mother that you are to our children" like a text.

So a month later rolls Father's Day. And what did I give him to convey my sentiments. A text. Right? Surely. After all, what's wrong with sending an ever-so-impersonal text? The answer...EVERYTHING!!!

You see, somewhere in that great book that I read...let's see...what's the name of that book...oh yeah...The Bible...it says, "Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and He will bless you for it."

Now I'm not saying that sending me a text on Mother's Day was "evil", but it was very impersonal and insulting.

Nevertheless, I made sure that our children got something nice for their father for Father's Day. And instead of a store bought card, I had them write their own sentiments in cards of their own. And I...well, I did the same.

Well...he sent them a text, thanking them for their cards and gifts. And I...well much like Mother's Day...I got nothing. No thank you, no..."I hated your card"...nothing.

Leads me to wonder...would it have been worse to get nothing on Mother's Day...not even the text, or should I just be happy with the impersonal gesture?

And should it matter that he hasn't thanked me for the card and probably never will, or should I just let it roll off like everything else I've had to. All I wanted was a "thank you", but once again, I guess that was expecting too much.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is it better to not give anything, or to give something...knowing that it more than likely will not be appreciated?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

18 and Over?

Today is one of those days where my heart is kinda heavy...full. It's holding a lot.

My daughter Jordan came home with her yearbook today. As I was flipping through the pages I would ask about this friend and that friend, and then came to the picture of her prom date. Some of the seniors had quotes underneath their pics. He had one underneath his. It said something like "Turn negatives into a positive picture".

I commented that I liked that quote. Jordan said, "Yeah, that sounds like somethin' he would say. He's had kind of a tough life".

I asked her what she meant and she explained that he grew up in a foster home and now his Mom (not biological) is about to move out of state into a trailer somewhere.

WHAT?!?

I asked her what he was going to do. Is he moving with her? Is he going to college? What?

She said she didn't know. He's trying to get into college out here but he's not sure yet just what he's going to do.

That just broke my heart.

I've only met him once, the night of the prom, but I could sense even in that short amount of time that he's a good kid. I want him to have a chance!

Since that conversation with Jordan I can't help but wonder what's going to happen to him.

If he's not 18 yet, he will be soon. Technically, an adult. Technically, his "mom" will no longer be legally responsible for him. Technically, if she picks up and moves, leaving him behind, she can. But WHY would she do that? HOW can she do that?

As a parent, I realize that the job of "parent" doesn't end when the child turns 18.

THIS is probably the time when he needs family most. He needs direction, guidance...a HOME. Sadly, our society doesn't accommodate the needs of a young men his age who are transitioning from 18 to adulthood. It should. The lack of accomodation and guidance is what leads these young men to crime and ultimately, jail. Jail is no place for this young man. College is!!!

What do I do? What can I do?

I want to reach out to him and let him know that I'm here to help, but how do I do that without him thinking I'm weird. I'm not weird, I just see him as though he were my own son. He deserves a chance at opportunity as much as my own son does.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What would YOU do?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Thought Vomiting

When is enough enough? When is too much too much? When it comes to FB and all this social media, I'll quote my kids by saying "T.M.I."!!! And if I had to sum it up in ONE word I'd say this...BLEHK!!!

It really is too much. Don't people know anything about filters? Is there REALLY a need to share EVERYTHING???

Do we really need to know what you ate today, with pics included?
Do we really need to watch the online argument taking place between you and "friend X"?
Do we need to know that you just burped or farted?
Do we really need to know that you've gone from being "in a relationship" to "single"? And then watch you pour your heart out and mourn ON FB?
Do we???

Interestingly, every one of the updates mentioned above would be sure to ring in a string of comments. But post something that could change a person's life for the better, and there won't be a comment in sight. Crickets.

Maybe I'm too private of a person. Maybe I need to open up more. Then again...maybe not.

Just seems to me like people are gonna get themselves in a whole lotta trouble if they keep airing their dirty laundry for all the world to see. How much is too much?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you hooked into any form of social media? If so, do you share EVERYTHING, or do you keep SOME things to yourself?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

To Hide or Not to Hide...

Today I had to hide another "friend" on FB. I'll call this "friend" Sam.

I didn't want to, but I was uncomfortable with Sam's posts. Sam has chosen to go through a therapeutic healing session on FB and I don't know how to respond. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to respond. I mean really, what is the response to someone who's opening up the closet of their life ON FB???

Perhaps I'm just waaay too private of a person and choose to only share my most private feelings with my closest friends. I have two such friends with whom I can share anything and everything, without judgement, and they are still my friends. But that's it. There are ONLY two!

Now I totally get the fact that what one posts on FB is purely their choice. There really aren't any rules or guidelines. After all, the question is "What's on your mind?" So...people answer the question. Sometimes, all too honestly.

I imagine that posting one's feelings on FB and getting feedback from "friends" is a whole lot cheaper than going to an actual therapist, but geez Louise. Is FB really the place?

I guess it all boils down to how one chooses to use their page. Me, I keep it positive. I'm there to uplift, encourage, make people laugh every now and then, share the good things that are happening in my life. I rarely (if ever) use it as a tool to bring people down. The world will do that on it's own.

So to Sam who has chosen to publicly work through issues of Sam's childhood, I wish you well and hope that your journey leads you to a place of wellness, I really do. I'm just a bit uncomfortable being along on the journey. And therein lies one of the benefits of FB...I can "hide" someone when I need to, and "unhide" when I think it's "safe to go back into the water".

Who knows...maybe some of my "friends" have hidden me. Not everybody can handle positivity. Some people find it downright boring. And you just don't find any "drama" on my page, which is what a lot of people tune in for.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you had to hide anyone on FB? If so, why?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

TO Me, FROM Me, With LOVE

Today at work I received a very yummy box of chocolate covered strawberries. Dee-lish!

Was I surprised when they showed up? Not one bit. Why not? Because I sent them to myself.

No, not as a ploy to make people think that there's a "special someone" in my life. I sent them because I've always wanted them.

So...instead of waiting for someone to send me chocolate covered strawberries, I decided to send them to myself.

Now if you've followed the blog for any time at all, you know that I am a single woman who would love to no longer be single, yet, there aren't any prospects, therefore, there's no guarantee when or even if that special someone will come along.

So until he does show up, I'm going to love myself the way that I deserve to be loved.

And you know what...who better to love me, than ME.

I know what I like.
I enjoy my own company.
I appreciate me for me.

And it got me thinking about all of the women (an possibly men also) who are wasting their lives waiting for someone to come along and shower them with gifts, make them feel valued, take them to the places they like, etc. But what if that person never shows up? Why deprive yourself of the things that make you happy just because you don't have anyone to share those things with.

Me...I've gone to concerts alone, and have enjoyed myself immensely. I've dined alone and savored the meal completely. I've seen movies alone, and enjoyed every scene because there was no one for me to talk to throughout the movie (those who've seen movies with me know how much I talk through movies). And for the first time...I've sent myself chocolate covered strawberries. Shared them with the kiddies, and enjoyed every bite.

You see, my friends...I am living a live with NO regrets. No could've, should've, would'ves for me. God gave me this life, and I am going to LIVE it. Do I want to live it "companion-less"? Of course not! Does life go on even if a companion (a.k.a. husband) never comes along? Most certainly, yes!

And for all of you out there who are journeying through this life "solo", to you I say this...LIVE your life! Enjoy it! Treat yourself to the things that make you happy. You're worth it!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever sent anything to yourself? Flowers, candy, chocolate? Did you send it and tell others that it came from someone else, or did you proudly reveal that the goodies were "self sent".

Talk to me!

Til next time...

HopeFULL

This one is pretty long, but well worth reading. So grab a cup of coffee if you must, and get comfortable. You're gonna be in The Den for a while.

***

On Monday, one of my coworkers told me that her son's former Spanish teacher died. It was very sudden and no one knew yet what had happened.

Later that afternoon it was confirmed that she had committed suicide.

We all just shook our heads. Regardless of whether we knew her or not, it's just so sad when someone is in such despair that the only way out (at least in their mind) is to end it all.

Many would look at my life and possibly decide that it is a life not worth living. At the very least, no one's lining up to trade their lives for mine. I'm single, raising 3 kids on very little money, living in an apartment that is far too small, driving the cheapest car on the market. I'm fat. I'm Black. And the possibility of anyone loving me is slim to none. No my friends, not many people would trade their lives for mine.

Yet I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's, and I surely wouldn't end it.

Yes, I'm single and although my choice would be to journey through this life with that special man, I'm well aware of the fact that I entered this life alone, and I'll exit alone. So in the meantime, I'm going to do all that I can to make this a life worth living.

Yes, I have very little money. But I know what it's like to have even less. I truly know what it means to have 10 cents to my name, because I've had days where all I had (in the bank and in my pocket) was only 10 cents. But I lived that day with 10 cents, went to sleep and woke up the next day. Not any richer, but ALIVE. And in the end, that's really all that matters. Money will come and money will go, but LIFE can not be replaced.

Yes, my apartment is small and although most of my friends live in homes far bigger and much prettier than mine, I am thankful each and every time I step foot in MY home. Many would love to have this tiny place to call theirs. I, am blessed to be able to do so.

Yes , my car is the cheapest one on the market. Not European made. Not Japanese. Not American. It's just a car. But it gets me where I need to go each day, and for me...that's really all that I need it to do. Yes, a nicer car would be nice, but I'm not trippin' over the fact that I don't have one.

Yes, I'm fat. And I seem to be getting bigger by the day (stress and lack of time for fitness). This alone would cause some to want to "check out", because FAT (according to society's standard) is the worst thing a person could be. A person could be a liar, a cheater, a thief...and people would overlook those characteristics. But to be FAT...WHOA!!!

Yes, I'm Black. And you know what...I can't change that. You wanna know somethin' else...I wouldn't change it even if I could.

Yes, I am journeying through this life alone and would love to be loved, yet love doesn't seem to be heading in my direction. Oh well.

So as you can see, it appears as though the cards are stacked against me. Yet even with those cards, I still find reason to wake up every morning. And I thank God for each and every day that He gives me. With each new day I have new hope. You see, I...am hopeFULL, not hopeLESS.

Regardless of what life throws at you, and life will throw plenty at you...you MUST know that there is ALWAYS hope. ALWAYS. In Christ Jesus, there is ALWAYS hope.

So for anyone who's feeling down and out, feeling like they can't go on...to you my friend, I say this...give tomorrow a chance. Please. Be hopeFULL, not hopeLESS.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What (or Who) gives you hope?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Pretty Pretty Prom Princess

Yesterday was Jordan's prom. She was gorgeous!
In 2008, Lauren went to the prom. She, was also gorgeous!

Every time they get all "doodied up" it makes me wonder what I would look like if I were ever "doodied".

What's it like to be the "belle of the ball" and have all eyes on me?

I didn't go to my prom, so I don't know what that's like. And I've never been married, so don't know what that "special day" is like either.

I realize the my prom dream has long since past, but maybe...just maybe...there's hope for me in a wedding dress...maybe.

Then I'll be able to say that I know what it feels like to be the "Pretty Pretty Princess".

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have YOU ever been the Pretty Pretty Princess? Either at the prom, a Quinceañera, wedding, or other special event? What was it like?

Talk to me!

Til next time...