I Matter!

Last night I joined in on a Kingdom Love Letter ministry call not knowing what to expect...not really sure if I was expecting anything...but simply to support my friend Tonia in her Ruth & Boaz in the Meantime Ministries as she was the guest.

In a nutshell, the call was about relationships, being single, and what to do while you are single yet desiring to be in a relationship. Simple answer: Seek and Serve God. Make HIM the priority...NOT the search for a partner.

The call went on for over an hour and I attentively listened, soaking up as much knowledge as I could. When it comes to relationships, I have failed at them ALL. Hence the reason why I am STILL SINGLE. Not by choice, because my desire is to be in a MARRIAGE blessed by God. However God is waiting for me to be obedient to Him and get myself together.

Although the majority of the callers were female, I was grateful for the one or two men who joined in. As a woman, I always welcome a man's viewpoint because it helps me understand where they're coming from. I think that's important for relationships as well as basic day-to-day interactions. We need to be able to understand each other.

So I listened, listened, and listened some more until just before the call ended and the host asked if anyone had any questions or comments. I finally spoke up, shared what was on my ever-so-heavy-heart, and in return received a prophetic word of encouragement.

The call ended and my spirit was lifted. I spent time processing what was said to me and asking God to reveal to me what it all means.

This morning, Tonia let me know that her brother (who was one of the men on the call...maybe the only man, I'm not 100% sure), was praying for me. WOW!

I can not begin to tell you how much that warmed my heart. To know that somewhere out there, a MAN is actually praying FOR ME. Although he doesn't know me personally, just from my brief comment on the call, he determined that I am special, valuable, precious to God.

He may be the ONLY man who has ever prayed for me. If not the only one in times past...he is most assuredly the ONLY one praying for me NOW. As much as I would love to have MANY men praying for me as their way of saying, "You are special. You are needed. You Matter," and would especially want the man who loves me (whenever he shows up in my life) to pray for me even moreso...at this moment in time, I am ever-so-grateful for the ONE. One man's prayers are exponentially greater than the prayers of NONE.

With that said, Let the DIALOGUE begin: For all the men out there...how many women are YOU praying for today? And  do they know? I can assure you that it will absolutely put a smile on their faces to know that YOU are praying for THEM.

Talk to me...

Til next time!

I Pray for You, You Pray for Me...and Watch God Change Things!

Some time last year I saw a fantastic movie called War Room about a woman's firm belief in the power of prayer. I won't spoil it if you haven't seen it yet, but I will say that I left that movie feeling inspired. My faith in prayer had been strengthened.

Unlike the woman in the movie who had an actual ROOM where she would write, and keep her prayer requests to God...I live in a teeny tiny apartment and there simply are no "extra" rooms. There's not even an "extra" closet.

Still...I wanted to do what the woman in the movie did. I wanted to WRITE my requests to God and be able to VISIBLY see them. This would serve two purposes. ONE...the requests would more easily stay at the forefront of my mind (especially for folks who I am praying on behalf of...it's so important for me to keep them at the forefront of my mind), and TWO...it allows me to easily see the prayers that God has answered. Y'all do know that He answers prayers, right?

After some thought I decided that the back of my bedroom door would be become my "War Space" where I would tape my prayers.

I did this for about a week and got oddly nervous. For some reason, I became uncomfortable about having my prayers "out there" in the open. Weird...I know. So I decided instead to write them down in a journal. So my "War Room", which had been downsized to a "War Space" was now a "War Journal." Ok. No, not ok.

Here's what happened.

I wrote prayers in my "War Journal" for a while, then stopped. Then I'd start. Then stop. There was no consistency, and I rarely looked back at the prayers I'd written down. Totally defeating the purpose!

Well...

Lately I've been having far more "talks with God" than usual. I am in an extremely difficult "season" right now and just don't feel like I hear Him, nor is He hearing me. I don't see Him "moving." THAT's gotta change!

So...last night, or should I say this morning since it was around 1:00 am...I was strongly compelled to write my petitions to God...each one on it's own piece of paper...and tape them to my bedroom WALL.

My pen was smokin'!

Prayer after prayer just started to flow. They weren't ALL requests. Some were prayers of THANKS. I even added some Scriptures as I was led to them. As a result...I now have a "War WALL." WOW!!! And since there are FOUR walls in my room, I just might fill 'em all up.

After I taped the last of last night's prayers I just sat, looked, and read them all. Again, I had another "talk with God" letting Him know that I have done my part by making my requests known. Now I wait in expectancy, KNOWING that I serve a God who can not fail, and is able to do abundantly above all that I can ask or think. In other words, God's Got This!

I woke up this morning, looked over at my wall, read my daily Word, then read each and every prayer. It felt great. I could feel a shift.

I now look forward to checking off those prayers as they are answered...one by one...not in my chronos time, but in His kairos time. His timing is always perfect.

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is there something I can pray for on your behalf? I would be honored to add your request to my "War Wall."

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." - James 5:16

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The Fruit of Friendship

I was at the store yesterday and passed by a bin full of persimmons which quickly reminded me that yes, it is indeed "persimmon season."

I love persimmons!

For those who are wondering what a persimmon taste like, well, they have a flavor all their own. But if I had to make a comparison, I would say that they taste like a cantaloupe and an apple had a baby.

Although they look like tomatoes, they are actually firm (like apples) and sweet (like cantaloupe).

Persimmon season is now a bit bittersweet time for me.

I love the fruit, yet it brings back reminders of the "best friend" I once had, yet haven't heard from in almost a year now.

Her parents had a persimmon tree in their backyard and would graciously pick them for me. That is how and where I got my first taste.

As I just mentioned, I haven't heard from my former "best friend" in almost a year, so it's pretty much guaranteed that the only persimmons I will be enjoying this season are the ones I buy from the store.

As for the friendship, I have said this a number of times before. If she were to call me, or show up at my door today...I would welcome her with open arms and we could start over. That simple act would let me know that she actually does value me and our friendship, more than she values being "right" even in a situation where she was clearly WRONG.

And for those who are saying, "How 'bout YOU be the 'bigger person' and call HER, or show up at HER door?" (I know y'all are saying that), I did...a number of times. My attempts were ignored. Maybe I'm not the best person to say this because of course I'm a bit biased, but I think I'm a decent enough person that I don't have to beg for anyone to "be my friend." Maybe folks who know me would be able to attest to than better that I, with less bias.

So there ya have it. Welcome to "Persimmon Season!"

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever tried a food that looked unusual and then ended up LOVING it?

Talk to me (while I go eat a couple persimmons)!

Til next time...

'Nuff Said

Three Letter Word

After yesterday's inspiring event, my heart is still full.

One of the things that Shannon told us yesterday is that we have to be willing to say YES to God. That means YES to the things that we need to release so that He can bless us. And YES to the things that we want to receive.

Such a simple little word.

One syllable.

Three letters.

YES.

There's a song by the same name that I have listened to many times since yesterday's event. I listened to it this morning after I read my Bible and will listen to it again before I go to bed. It has become my "meditation song."

I didn't have the best day today, seems like I faced many obstacles. Yet I remain faithful in knowing that God is going to turn this thing around for my good. Until He does, my heart, my mind, and my mouth will continue to say:

YES

How 'bout you? Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a "meditation song?" If so, what is it?

Talk to me! Oh, but close your eyes and listen to this song first.



Til next time...

Exit Here

Earlier today I attended a powerfully inspiring event that reaffirmed my desire to LIVE in my PURPOSE.

Very few folks know my current situation yet one thing I can say with certainty is that it in NO WAY resembles what I'm supposed to be doing and where I want to be in life. At this point, my current situation and my PURPOSE are polar opposites. That's heartbreaking.

During the event there were so very many things said that made me want to burst into tears. Somewhere along this journey of mine I have become a bit stoic, so I suppressed pretty much every tear that tried to fall. That was until...

The event ended, thanked the host Shannon Yvette and headed to my car.

As soon as I got in the first tear was allowed to fall. That one was followed by countless more.

I started my car, turned off the radio and began my tear-filled chat with God.

The gist of the conversation was around my disappointment at where I am at this point in my life. How I am desperately seeking a career opportunity that will allow me to help others as my heart so greatly desires, yet I feel that I am failing because it just hasn't manifested itself yet and I am simply LOST.

So I'm having this heartfelt talk with God and get on the freeway.

Once I get on I realize that I need to quickly moved into the lane to my left otherwise I will end up exiting the freeway. Not what I wanted to do.

So I'm still pleading with God, tying to figure out why nothing I've done thus far has had any meaning or value. No one's life has been positively changed as a result of my interaction.

The tears fell even quicker.

And no one was letting me get over.

So...I angrily ended up exiting the freeway. Great! Now I'm crying and angry at the same time.

I get to the bottom of the off-ramp and there's a homeless person standing there with a  sign. I reached over to my passenger seat and gave them the prepared "blessing bag" that I keep in my car for such occasions. Then I circled the block so that I could get back on the freeway.

About thirty seconds into my circling the "light bulb" went off and I said, "Ok God. I see what you did there."

Even though my plan was to get on the freeway and go straight home...God's plan was for me to get off at the "wrong" exit so that I could be a blessing to someone who otherwise may not have been. It was as if God was saying, "I hear you and YES...you ARE living in your PURPOSE...even NOW. No, this isn't ALL that I have destined you for, but as long as you keep doing what you can with what you've got...even though you feel LOST and that NOTHING is making an impact...the little things that you do 'in the meantime' ARE making an impact."

At that point the tears stopped falling.

I get it.

I need to keep working toward where I'm trying to go, and I need to be patient in the process.

Am I where I want to be yet in this journey called "life"? NO.
Am I doing little things along the way as I strive to get there? "YES.

What exactly is it that I ultimately want to do with this life of mine? I'm glad you asked. Here's the list:

• Write books
• Become a Motivation Speaker (with a specific focus)
• Create a Non-Profit Organization that promotes literacy
• Work for (or create) an organization that provides services to homeless youth and their families

That all sounds pretty well and good, right? The interesting thing is that "career wise," I have never done any of the above, yet my heart SCREAMS to do them all. I pray that one day, I will. Dear Lord, PLEASE!

Now...it's late, so Let the DIALOGUE begin: What (if anything) is holding you back from doing what you know you were created to do? Let's work on it together.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Make Me Wanna Holler!

Some days feel like déjà vu. Today is one of them and I'm not happy about it AT ALL.

With the senseless killing of yet another Black man in the news I am fed up. Simply FED UP!

I've seen a few friends post that it appears to be "hunting season" on Black men, and I gotta tell ya...I'm beginning to wonder.

I mean really...

• Alton Sterling
• Philando Castile
• Micheal Brown
• Eric Garner
• Trayvon Martin
• Tamir Rice
• and now we add Terence Crutcher.

These are just a few (a very small few) whose lives have been cut short at the hands of "trigger happy" folks. If I listed them all this post would be PAGES long.

Every time I hear of yet another Black male life being lost I immediately think of my son. Only 18 years old, good kid, hard working, never been in any trouble. Yet the police don't know that when they see him. All they see when they see my son is a "Black male."

Here's the thing...

I could give him a whole list of "DOs" and "DON'Ts" when confronted by law enforcement, yet these days it seems that those things don't even matter.

Now I have to worry about how TALL he gets...how BIG he gets (weight wise), because then his SIZE (without doing ANYTHING at ALL) can be viewed as a threat.

So yes...

As a mother of a young Black male...I'm pissed.
As a woman who has brothers who are Black males...I'm pissed.
As the daughter of a Black male...I'm pissed.
As a woman who simply loves, and values Black men in general...I'm pissed.

WHEN will the "hunt" be over, and WHY does it exist in the first place?

I mean really...Somebody PLEASE tell me just WHAT exactly is so threatening about the Black male? PLEASE! Because quite honestly...I don't see it.

When I see Black males I see:

• Strength (to carry the weight of all that this unjust society places upon them)
• Intelligence
• Resilience
• Sex Appeal
• Power
• Love
• "Swag"

None of those equate to THREATS as I see them.

So really...what is it that "other folks" see that make them think the Black man has to be "taken down" like a rabid animal. Seriously...I wanna know. I need to know. Because I just don't get it.

My prayer is that we will NEVER have to hear another report of a Black male whose life has been unnecessarily taken for ANY reason. And please note that I said unnecessarily. After all, I am fully aware that this is not a utopian society that we live in. There are, and will be times when someone is truly posing a threat to others and as a result, that situation needs to be handled accordingly. But...sooo many of the accounts that we've heard lately did not fall within that criteria.

Seems to me that Black men are disproportionately killed when in a confrontational situation (and often times when NOT in a confrontational situation.) Yet "other" folks are merely wounded, and live to tell their side of the story. For the Black man...too many stories never got the chance to be told.

Then I've heard folks say, "Well...officers aren't trained to wound; they're trained to kill." Really? So why is it then that Black men always seem to be the ones who end up killed, when again, "others" get wounded? SOMETHING is terribly wrong with that picture!

Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that I want "others" to be killed at the hands of law enforcement as Black men do. What I want is for Black men to STOP being killed at the hands of law enforcement. That's all. I want them to have the opportunity to LIVE just as"others" do. That's not too much to ask, is it?

Anwyay...I'm heated and heartbroken at the same time. I didn't bring my son into the world so that his life could be cut short by the hands of ANYONE. I'm 100% certain that the mothers of all the Black men we've lost lately, didn't want that for their sons either.

The killing has got to STOP, and the Black male deserves the opportunity to LIVE.

So...Let the DIALOGUE begin: What do YOU propose as a solution to this heartbreakingly angry issue?

Talk to me (because I need some answers)!

Til next time...