Ellipses, and Other Stuff

So if you've followed my blog for any amount of time, you've noticed that I use ellipses a lot. Some folks overuse commas, others may overuse the exclamation point...I however, choose (and possibly overuse)the ellipses.

For those who don't know what an ellipses is, it's a series of three dots that create a break in a sentence, like these...

Yes folks, I am probably the "Queen of Ellipses." And you know what...I'll gladly wear that title. I don't use them purposefully, as in, "Hey, let me stick a...here, or there." Instead, it just seems to land where it does, which tends to be all throughout my writing. Who knows, maybe that'll be my signature...what folks remember about me & my writing long after I'm gone.

In other news...I am really in a sappy mood lately. I'd say that it's because I lack physical contact and could really really use a hug...a REAL hug, and a good cry. But, it is what it is and neither of those seem to be happening any time soon. Well...the latter almost happened today.

I was watching The Office (love that show!), and I was on the episode called "Niagra" where Jim and Pam get married. Maybe I just cry at weddings period, but watching theirs got me all teared up. I just love the way that they "get" each other. Pam ripped her veil and called Jim in (BEFORE the wedding, which is usually a no-no), because nothing seemed to be going right on "their special day." He was right there for her and completely understood how she was feeling. Next thing you know, they ditched their own party and were off on a boat GETTING MARRIED. Jim had that as "Plan B" in his back pocket all along. Anyway, I watched that and just thought, "I want a love like that. Somebody who really 'gets me'". *Sigh* So yeah, the eyes watered, but not to the point of that "really good cry" that I know I need. Maybe it hasn't happened because if I start, I may not stop. Who knows.

Oh, then there was my morning Bible reading that I've been thinking about all day. I was reading 2 Kings 17:41 which reads,

"So these nations feared the Lord, yet served their carved images; also their children and their children’s children have continued doing as their fathers did, even to this day."

It made me think about a lot of Christians I know. So many say that they believe in Christ, yet they "dabble" in "other stuff" too. Like reading more books by "self help" authors, and putting more weight on THOSE words, than reading the Word of God and putting ALL weight on His Word. Or Christians who follow the horoscopes. NO! Following Christ and following horoscopes do not go together! So when I read that passage of Scripture it made sense, especially the very last four words, "even to this day". Yes, to this day, folks are still this very same thing. May not in the form of "carved images", but in the form of "supposedly" following God, yet relying on "other stuff" too. I'm no perfect Christian, and as long as I live, I never will be. Yet I know enough about God's Word to know what He allows, and what His Word stands against. He doesn't want "lukewarm" Christians. He wants us to either be hot or cold...not in the middle.

Ok...that's enough of my "preaching" for the day, although somewhere down the line I will write about how I'm still upset over the "friend" who corrected me on an issue recently, and used Scripture to do it. What was interesting about that was that this person isn't even a Christian. Yet that shouldn't surprise me at all because even the devil knows the Word of God. Heck, he tried to use it to trip up Jesus. Although that was completely IMPOSSIBLE considering the fact that Jesus IS the Word of God (John 1:1), so it can't be used to confuse Him.

Alright...and breathe.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU had a good cry?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 5/21)

Well Wha'da'ya'know...

Wow! So I guess it's fair to say that today is a great day for celebration. I didn't realize until JUST NOW that this is The Dialogue Den's 300th post! Whoo hoo, and yay for me! Yeah, I said it. Yay for me!!!

In spite of the fact that my blog has very few followers and/or commenters...I've continued to write. Not always consistently, but nonetheless...I've continued. My very first post was on SUNDAY, JUNE 20, 2010...Wow! Four years and nine days ago. I didn't know then where I'd be today, but I can truly say that I'm glad I'm here. It's been quite a ride.

So yeah...hats of to ME. Heck...if you can't toot your own horn, who will toot it for you? So...I'm tootin'!

I have a few things to write about today so I guess I'll make this a bit of a smorgasbord.

I think I'll start off with this morning's church service. I love my church family. I've been a member of my church for over 20 years. Although there have been some bumpy spots along the way, all in all, we are FAMILY through Christ Jesus.

Similar to biological families, there are sometimes disagreements and division among the members. My Pastor preached from 1 Corinthians 1:10 which reads, "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought."

It was quite convicting. But he didn't stop with just preaching the message. He had everyone who had an issue with someone in the church to actually get up and go to that person so that it could be resolved...TODAY. Can you imagine?!? It was so powerful. You could feel loads lightening as people went up to each other to "make things right." Some had tears. Some embraced in hugs. Some stepped away privately. Overall, I believe that God was pleased and healing has begun to take place.

Next up: Let's talk about the BET Awards. How 'bout this...I didn't watch'em. Not that I have anything against BET...I just don't have the channel. Can you believe it?!? I mean BET should be included in the most basic of basic cable packages. With DirecTV though, it's not. And I'll be dag-gon if I'm gonna upgrade JUST to have BET. I mean CNN would be worth the upgrade, but an upgrade isn't in this girl's budget. So...I had to settle for getting updates via Facebook. I learned who was "hot" and who was NOT. I learned that Chris Brown has "still got it", and that Robin Thicke wishes he still had it, as in, his wife Paula. Apparently he was begging for her to come back on national television. Not cute. At least according to the comments that my friends were posting. Oh, and then there was the big "NON-finale". I guess everybody was expecting "Bey" and "Jay" to show up and perform, but instead they just "screened in" their performance. Boo!

The last topic I was gonna write about was Social Media and the "beef" that I currently have with it. But I'm not quite ready to "go there" just yet. Tomorrow...maybe.

So, how was YOUR day?

Let the Dialogue Begin: Do you blog? If so, what's the name of it? Share it here for all the world to hear.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 4/21)

Who's REALLY Blessed by a Blessing Box?

So a couple months ago as I was driving down the street (probably getting off of a freeway), the Lord placed it upon my heart to help those who I passed by. I wasn't sure exactly HOW I could help, I just knew that I was being CALLED to help.

I prayed about it and the idea came to me. Take empty shoeboxes and fill them with useful items like water, granola bars, toiletries, a note of encouragement, a card for "211", etc.

I was excited about this idea and the fact that I'd now have a way to help those in need. I've been praying and diligently seeking a career in such a field, but that door has yet to open, so this is a great way to serve others "in the meantime."

I posted on Facebook about the idea and some of my friends offered to donate items and shoeboxes. FANTASTIC!

So now, I always keep in my car a filled "blessing box" to be given to any person in need who I happen to pass by.

About a week ago I was able to give the first one away. I was excited. I get no more joy in anything that I do than the joy that I get from HELPING someone else. So I posted on Facebook that I had given away the first box, and I thanked those who had donated items to help make the boxes possible.

Well today, I was able to give away another box. This one warmed my heart because the gentleman that I gave it to smiled from ear-to-ear once he asked me what was in it and I told him. His response was, "Oh cool!" I was thrilled about being able to help yet another person and I wanted to share that joy with my Facebook friends.

Well...no sooner than I posted about it, someone messaged me and basically accused me of being "self-righteous" and "showy" by telling about the boxes that I'm giving away, based on Matthew 6:1.

Now I will be completely honest by saying, that really upset me...HURT ME actually. Anyone who knows me...and I mean REALLY knows me, knows that I do what I do out of the goodness of my heart, as a servant of Christ. Not to receive any accolades or special recognition. And I had even added in my post that with every box I give away...To God be the Glory! I am not trying to take any credit. I am simply a vessel, trying to let my light shine so that others may see Christ in me.

There are too many homeless folks out on the streets who need SOMEBODY...if not ME...then ANYBODY...to HELP them. Maybe by posting about the "blessing boxes" someone else will be encouraged to help someone too. Not because I'M doing it, but because God (through me) has placed it upon their heart to do so. Where is the harm in that?

Earlier this morning I posted a clip by a man named Clayton Jennings who was asking the question, "Where are you going?", with regard to where we will spend eternity after this life, based on our decision about Christ. I felt that was important enough to "share" so I did...with a note about how I would probably be "unfriended" by some folks after the post because it was too "Jesus-y" for some people's taste. I said that because I have been "unfriended" in the past right after posting about Jesus. At this point though...it's not about how many Facebook friends I have, it's about spreading the TRUTH about salvation.

Well...I was accused of being "negative" by stating that I'd probably be unfriended. I wasn't being "negative". I was simply stating a fact based on MY past experience. Folks don't seem to understand that.

Oh, and apparently I'm "fake" because I'm upset about an issue, that again, someone doesn't understand. How 'bout this...I am one of the most GENUINE people that most people know. Ask 99.99% of the people who know me and they will tell you this. Because I get upset about an issue does not make me "fake"...it makes me HUMAN!!! I'm sorry if I don't agree with what everyone else says 100% of the time. I have a right to disagree, and I have a right to be upset for as long as it takes me to not be upset. We are all different and we process emotions differently. But because I process mine the way that I do...I'm "fake". Ok.

People seem to think that they can throw words around and that those words just turn into vapor, never landing anywhere. Nope. Wrong. When the words are directed at ME...they land in my heart, where it hurts.

Thankfully, although some seem to think that I am "self-righteous" or "fake"...God knows my heart. He knows my TRUE motives. He knows why I do what I do. And I believe, with 100% certainty that He is pleased...and THAT is all that matters.

So...to answer the question, "Who's Really Blessed by a Blessing Box?", ultimately, the answer is ME. Being able to help others and make a POSITIVE difference in this world with this short amount of time that I have here on Earth is ALL that I want to do. It's what I strive for EVERYDAY. Since I'm not able to help others via my career (at least not yet), I have to help them in any way that I can, on my own.

So yes...with each box that I give...the blessing may be temporary for the recipient, or may only last for as long as the items in the box do. But MY blessing is long-lasting, because I've been able to operate in my purpose. That's all I want to do. I've always said, and will continue to say, "Our greatest blessings come when we are a blessing to others."

With tear-filled eyes today (because I'm just so tired of being misunderstood), Let the Dialogue Begin: When was the last time that YOU were blessed by something you RECEIVED?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 3/21)

Fear...yeah, I have one.

So what most people don't know (because I'm very private and don't like putting all my business "out there"), is that my life is in a bit of a whirlwind. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And I could really use some help. Really, I could. But, who do I go to? Where do I go? Everybody has problems of their own, so who's gonna help me with mine? Answer: NOBODY.

For the past two weeks I've been frantically looking for a new job. I mean...I need a new job like PRONTO. But I don't want just any ol' job. I want one with PURPOSE. One that will be fulfilling. One that means something...not just to me, but to others. I want...no, correction...I NEED for my work, my career to MAKE A DIFFERENCE...A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE.

If you ask most people what their biggest fear is, their response will probably be, "dying". Interestingly, that's not my answer. Because I have salvation through Jesus Christ who died on a cross for me and three days later He rose again...and now He LIVES...well, because He lives, I too will live (even after death). That's what I believe. So no...dying is not MY biggest fear.

My biggest fear however, is that I will die BEFORE I am able to fulfill the purpose for which God created me. Every day that I've lived so far has been a day that has not yet been lived in my purpose. 45 years and I'm still not there. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?!? It's extremely frustrating, and far from fun.

So...I'm on a mission...a frantic search to find a career that matches my purpose. And I need to find it quick. The clock is ticking and time is running out. No seriously, I am on a time limit and with each day I am getting closer to my deadline. So something has GOT to come through soon.

Unlike most, I'm not worried. You see, prayer and worry can not coexist. So, I have chosen to PRAY. I do however, wonder. I wonder when the next thing will come through. Where it will be? What will my role be? So yes...I do wonder.

Today was different. After praying and searching and wondering, I heard God tell me to just "be still". Stop moving. Stop searching. Just "be still." So I did. I trust Him enough to know that if I'm "still" He's not. So I gave myself a day off. Many (if they knew my situation would say that I've already had days off. But today was different.) Today, I picked up a book that I've been meaning to read for I don't know how long...and I decided to READ IT...from cover to cover. And that's exactly what I did. I woke up, started reading and finished around 6:00 p.m. Can't remember the last time I read a whole book in a day. As an adult, I don't think I ever have. The book by the way, was "The Leap" by Rick Smith. And I highly recommend it, especially for anyone who is in a career and/or life rut. Highly recommend it.

So...I gave myself the break today. Tomorrow, God willing, I will start back at it.

Something is gonna come through. This I believe. This I must believe, otherwise I may well fall apart.

Times like these I just wish I had a shoulder to lay my head on or someone...no not someone, but a HUSBAND to hold me tight and tell me that everything will be alright. Living this life alone sure ain't easy. Not quite the life I thought I'd be living, but...here I am and it is what is is...at least for now and/or until God says otherwise.

Ok...that's enough from me. Now it's your turn.

Let the Dialogue begin: Are you in a career/life rut? If so, what are you doing to get out of it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 2/21)

In the News...

So I've decided to embark on a "21 Day Writing Challenge". Yes, for the next 21 days I WILL write SOMETHING. Interestingly, I don't not write (double negative but hopefully you understand what I mean) for lack of things to write about. To the complete contrary...I have sooo much to write about, yet most of it would be misunderstood or taken out of context, so...I just don't write anything at all. Having to explain oneself after awhile gets to be exhausting, so why bother. One day, I simply won't care. Oh how free-ing that will be!!!

Anyhoo, let's see...what shall I write about today? Perhaps some of the weird stories in the news...like the 12 year old who's been missing in Detroit for 2 weeks and was finally found (alive thankfully)in the basement OF HIS OWN HOME!!! Or perhaps about the creep who left his baby in the car, got to work, went into the office, came out for lunch, DROVE THE CAR to wherever he went for lunch, then BACK to work...only to realize as he was driving home that evening that he LEFT THE BABY IN THE CAR!!! UNBELIEVABLE! Now...I know that accidents do, and have happened. But those were accidents. Based on this guy's recent Google searches...I'm not buying that it was an accident. And I don't know HOW he's going to live with himself after this. Once again...this is one of those instances where we give it up to God, knowing that He knows that TRUTH and will handle it as He sees fit.

Maybe I could write about being misunderstood (again)and for a reason that I can't even expect people to get. There are some things in life that people either "get" or they don't. So trying to explain is simply pointless.

Nevertheless, no matter what I go through, or how alone I am in EVERY SINGLE THING that I go through...I know that God is ALWAYS with me, even when all others forsake me. And He will be until my very last breath. But wait! Even after THAT, He'll still be with me. And therein lies my peace. I thank God for the peace that comes only through Christ Jesus.

So yeah...there's a lot that I COULD right about today. I just don't have the emotional energy for it. God willing, I'll be back tomorrow for Day 2 of my "21 Day Writing Challenge". I'll try to be more upbeat, but can't make any promises. All that I can promise is that I will always (and have always) write from a place of authenticity. Some may love what I write, others may hate it. Such is life. Right?

Let the Dialogue Begin: What's more important...being RIGHT, or UNDERSTANDING another person's point of view?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 1/21)

Happy Birthday "Billie"!

Yes, I'm back. Yes, I know It's been a while. So...I'm gonna jump right on in.

Today is the birthday of a good friend of mine. A very good friend. We'll call this friend "Billie".

Billie and I met 11 years ago and during those 11 years, I have been the "constant" in our friendship...always reachable, always locatable. Just, always. Billie on the other hand...not so much.

The last time I saw Billie was April 19th. Before that, December 31st. Before that...I really couldn't tell you.

Over the past 11 years, I have endured a LOT with Billie. Way more than most people would. Helping Billie out of "situations" because that's what FRIENDS do. In fact, most would have given up and washed their hands of Billie a long time a go. Probably 10 years ago.

But something in me keeps holding on. Something in me simply can not ignore or walk away. Something in me has always rooted for Billie. I have seen potential in Billie when Billie couldn't see it. Truth be told, even as I write these words, I still don't think Billie sees it. We all need someone who sees in us what we can't see in ourselves. I am that someone for Billie.

So...how can I give up? I very well may be the only one who's rooting for Billie, and if I stop...then what?

I've never asked much from Billie except for consistency. For the "disappearing acts" to stop. Mainly because I worry when I don't hear from Billie. Most times, I just get the brush off, as though I've made up the disappearing acts in my mind. But, Billie and I both know that's not the truth. The reason I know this is because Billie PROMISED me...PROMISED me on April 19th that the disappearing acts were over. When I heard those words, everything within me wanted to BELIEVE that THIS time...Billie was telling the truth. I don't know when I've ever wanted anything to be more true. I BELIEVED.

Then April 20th came and went. May 1st came and went. May 31st Came and went. And here we are...June 2nd...Billie's birthday, and I haven't heard a word.

Sure, I could pick up the phone and call. But I won't.
Sure, I could send a text. But I won't.
Sure, I could send an email. But I won't.

For 11 years, I have done ALL of the reaching. ALL!

I can't reach anymore. If Billie wants to be a part of my life, Billie needs to reach out to ME for a change.

In spite of the fact that I have no idea WHERE Billie is or HOW Billie is...June 2nd is still a very special day for me. And so, I have prayed and asked God to bless Billie, wherever Billie may be. And that, is probably the very best thing I can do for Billie.

The other thing I will do in honor of this day is include Billie's favorite song: Rocket Love by Stevie Wonder.
Billie and I have sung many songs together...including this one. I miss that.

Wherever you are Billie, be blessed, and ALWAYS know that you are LOVED, by me, and more importantly...by God.

Now...Let the Dialogue Begin: Is there anyone who you'd like to reach out to, but for whatever reason (aside from death) you are unable?

Talk to me!

Til next time...