So today is my birthday and what a great day it has been!
My day began with prayer, thanking God for another year of life, then I headed to the docks to make my way to Catalina.
It was great, especially because the trip was FREE! Yes, Catalina Express offers a FREE roundtrip ride to Catalina if you go ON your birthday. So...off I went.
I did quite a bit.
Arrived at about 9:00 and I went to breakfast.
After breakfast I took a scenic tour that included lots of interesting facts about Catalina. If you ever go, I would recommend it.
After the scenic tour, I hopped on a semi-submerged boat where I got to see fish up close and personal...right outside my sub window. It was pretty cool!
Then, I headed over to get my FREE birthday scoop of ice cream.
Then headed back home where I proceeded to get my annual birthday bundt cake, and then to my favorit spot for mariscos.
Yes, it was a pretty full day. And...I gave away another one of my "blessing boxes". That really made me happy.
I gotta say...I love my birthdate...July 14th.
Just to give you some "fun facts" about me...I was born on the 14th day of the 7th month at 1421 hours. So as you can see...I am surrounded by sevens. Not that I'm into numbers (because I'm not), I just think it's kinda cool.
Oh, and my nighttime radio host played my song request and wished me a happy birthday on the radio.
In the words of Ice Cube, "Today was a good day."
Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is you best birthday memory?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 19/21)
Monday, July 14, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Now Throw Your Hands in the Air!
Oh my goodness! What a day this has been!
So my birthday is tomorrow (unless you're on the East coast which means that you are already 52 minutes into MY day), and this morning I celebrated with my friends Judy and Wendy. We went to go hear my FAVORITE band DW3. These guys are FANTASTIC! Today marks the 5th time that I've seen them perform since last December.
Here are a few things that I love about them:
1. They can SANG! That's the urban version of "they sing very well."
2. They sing a great variety of songs like old-skool R&B, new R&B (only the good stuff though), and when they perform in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, they throw in a few Latin hits.
3. They are so "down to earth". They don't walk around with their noses up in the air. They actually engage with the audience and today I even got to take pics with two of the band members, Damon Reel (one of the lead vocalists) and Rick Marcel (the mean guitar player...and I mean mean as in...he can play your socks of with that guitar mean).
So we sang, danced in our seats (because the venue where we were doesn't really allow actual dancing), and just had a GRAND ol' time!
If you've never heard these dudes perform, I say, "What are you waiting for?!? GO!!!" I'm including the link to their website so that you can see for yourself what all the hype is about. You'll thank me later. ;-)
Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a favorite band whose performances you just HAVE to go see when they're in your town?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
http://www.dw3soul.com/
(Day 18/21)
So my birthday is tomorrow (unless you're on the East coast which means that you are already 52 minutes into MY day), and this morning I celebrated with my friends Judy and Wendy. We went to go hear my FAVORITE band DW3. These guys are FANTASTIC! Today marks the 5th time that I've seen them perform since last December.
Here are a few things that I love about them:
1. They can SANG! That's the urban version of "they sing very well."
2. They sing a great variety of songs like old-skool R&B, new R&B (only the good stuff though), and when they perform in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, they throw in a few Latin hits.
3. They are so "down to earth". They don't walk around with their noses up in the air. They actually engage with the audience and today I even got to take pics with two of the band members, Damon Reel (one of the lead vocalists) and Rick Marcel (the mean guitar player...and I mean mean as in...he can play your socks of with that guitar mean).
So we sang, danced in our seats (because the venue where we were doesn't really allow actual dancing), and just had a GRAND ol' time!
If you've never heard these dudes perform, I say, "What are you waiting for?!? GO!!!" I'm including the link to their website so that you can see for yourself what all the hype is about. You'll thank me later. ;-)
Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a favorite band whose performances you just HAVE to go see when they're in your town?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
http://www.dw3soul.com/
(Day 18/21)
Saturday, July 12, 2014
The Moon tonight was SUPER!
Tonight we had a "Supermoon" so I thought I'd write about it.
I've always loved the moon. It seems so much less harmful than the sun. I mean, think about it. One can stare at the moon ALL night, with the bare naked eye and have no damage done. The sun...don't even think about it. Stare directly at that bad boy and you're toast.
But the moon...love it.
It's kinda of interesting, but surely no coincidence that I love the moon and the ocean. And my goodness...let me be at the beach on the night of a full moon...that's the perfect combo.
Although I don't believe in astrology (because I believe in He who CREATED the stars...not in the stars themselves), I do find some of the information accurate and interesting. For example, based on my date of birth I am what's called a "Moonchild". Here are some "Moonchild facts" taken from Astrology.com (http://www.astrology.com/cancer-sun-sign-zodiac-signs/2-d-d-66919):
"Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is all about home. Those born under this sign are 'roots' kinds of people, and take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family. Cancers are maternal, domestic and love to nurture others. More than likely, their family will be large, too -- the more, the merrier! Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious. Traditions are upheld with great zest in a Cancer's household, since these folks prize family history and love communal activities. They also tend to be patriotic, waving the flag whenever possible. A Cancer's good memory is the basis for stories told around the dinner table, and don't be surprised if these folks get emotional about things. Those born under this sign wear their heart on their sleeve, which is just fine by them.
The mascot of Cancer is the Crab, and much like this shelled little critter, Cancers are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. No wonder these folks are called crabby! For Cancer, it's not that big of a deal, though, since they consider this 'shell' a second home (and they do love home). The flip side of this hiding is that shell-bound Crabs are often quite moody. Further, in keeping with their difficulty in sharing their innermost feelings, it can become a Herculean task to pry a Crab out of its secret hiding place. What to do? Give the Crab time -- eventually these folks will come out to play again. When they do, they'll be the first to say so, in keeping with the Cardinal Quality attached to this sign. It's said that Crabs are first to laugh and first to cry, so you can bet they'll fill you in. That shell, by the way, isn't the only tough thing about Crabs. These folks are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn't do the trick, however, they're not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn't work, they'll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive. That said, any self-respecting Crab would tell you that they are ultimately motivated by protecting their home and loved ones, a most noble goal.
Cancers are ruled by the Moon -- the Great Mother of the heavens in ancient times. Here on Earth, this is manifested in the Crab's maternal instincts and desire to protect home and hearth. This may appear smothering at times, but that's the Crab for you. The Moon is associated with fertility, too, a quality that is most pleasing to Cancers. The Moon is also the ruler of moods, and Cancers have plenty of those. These folks can cry you a river if they're so inclined, and they usually are. They can be overly sensitive, easily hurt and prone to brooding. Even so, Crabs find it easy to be sympathetic to others and are quick to show their affection. Their intuition is also a great help to them, especially in times of stress.
The element associated with Cancer is Water. Like the rolling waves of the sea, the Crab's emotions can make quite a splash. These folks tend to pick up on things and bring them in, with the outward result ranging from sentimentality to possessiveness. Crabs need to resist the temptation to become selfish or to feel sorry for themselves, since this behavior won't help. On the bright side, Cancers are good with money (although some consider them too thrifty), probably because they value a sense of security. Crabs are also quick to help others and tend to avoid confrontation. In keeping with their nurturing bent, those born under this sign are a whiz with food. A hearty picnic in the park is heaven-on-earth to most Crabs.
Cancers often find that a robust workout session is just the tonic for their touchy feelings. Team sports are always nice, since they offer a sense of community; water polo should be elemental to aquatic Crabs. What are their team colors? The Moon is silver and white. Since Cancers have a tendency to be lazy, however, they may need someone to push them out the door. When it comes to the game of love, eager Crabs are devoted, romantic and able to get things going on their own. Crabs are wise to listen to their gut, since this sign rules the stomach.
The great strength of the Cancer-born is the tenacity with which they protect their loved ones. These folks don't ask for much, either: a comfortable home and sense of peace about sums it up. It's that nurturing instinct which makes Cancers a pleasure to be with."
Yep. That about sums me up. Again...I am fascinated by the accuracy yet at the beginning and end of the day, I believe in my Lord Jesus, Creator of ALL. (John 1:3, Colossians 1:16)
Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU stepped outside and looked at the moon?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 17/21)
I've always loved the moon. It seems so much less harmful than the sun. I mean, think about it. One can stare at the moon ALL night, with the bare naked eye and have no damage done. The sun...don't even think about it. Stare directly at that bad boy and you're toast.
But the moon...love it.
It's kinda of interesting, but surely no coincidence that I love the moon and the ocean. And my goodness...let me be at the beach on the night of a full moon...that's the perfect combo.
Although I don't believe in astrology (because I believe in He who CREATED the stars...not in the stars themselves), I do find some of the information accurate and interesting. For example, based on my date of birth I am what's called a "Moonchild". Here are some "Moonchild facts" taken from Astrology.com (http://www.astrology.com/cancer-sun-sign-zodiac-signs/2-d-d-66919):
"Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is all about home. Those born under this sign are 'roots' kinds of people, and take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family. Cancers are maternal, domestic and love to nurture others. More than likely, their family will be large, too -- the more, the merrier! Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious. Traditions are upheld with great zest in a Cancer's household, since these folks prize family history and love communal activities. They also tend to be patriotic, waving the flag whenever possible. A Cancer's good memory is the basis for stories told around the dinner table, and don't be surprised if these folks get emotional about things. Those born under this sign wear their heart on their sleeve, which is just fine by them.
The mascot of Cancer is the Crab, and much like this shelled little critter, Cancers are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. No wonder these folks are called crabby! For Cancer, it's not that big of a deal, though, since they consider this 'shell' a second home (and they do love home). The flip side of this hiding is that shell-bound Crabs are often quite moody. Further, in keeping with their difficulty in sharing their innermost feelings, it can become a Herculean task to pry a Crab out of its secret hiding place. What to do? Give the Crab time -- eventually these folks will come out to play again. When they do, they'll be the first to say so, in keeping with the Cardinal Quality attached to this sign. It's said that Crabs are first to laugh and first to cry, so you can bet they'll fill you in. That shell, by the way, isn't the only tough thing about Crabs. These folks are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn't do the trick, however, they're not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn't work, they'll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive. That said, any self-respecting Crab would tell you that they are ultimately motivated by protecting their home and loved ones, a most noble goal.
Cancers are ruled by the Moon -- the Great Mother of the heavens in ancient times. Here on Earth, this is manifested in the Crab's maternal instincts and desire to protect home and hearth. This may appear smothering at times, but that's the Crab for you. The Moon is associated with fertility, too, a quality that is most pleasing to Cancers. The Moon is also the ruler of moods, and Cancers have plenty of those. These folks can cry you a river if they're so inclined, and they usually are. They can be overly sensitive, easily hurt and prone to brooding. Even so, Crabs find it easy to be sympathetic to others and are quick to show their affection. Their intuition is also a great help to them, especially in times of stress.
The element associated with Cancer is Water. Like the rolling waves of the sea, the Crab's emotions can make quite a splash. These folks tend to pick up on things and bring them in, with the outward result ranging from sentimentality to possessiveness. Crabs need to resist the temptation to become selfish or to feel sorry for themselves, since this behavior won't help. On the bright side, Cancers are good with money (although some consider them too thrifty), probably because they value a sense of security. Crabs are also quick to help others and tend to avoid confrontation. In keeping with their nurturing bent, those born under this sign are a whiz with food. A hearty picnic in the park is heaven-on-earth to most Crabs.
Cancers often find that a robust workout session is just the tonic for their touchy feelings. Team sports are always nice, since they offer a sense of community; water polo should be elemental to aquatic Crabs. What are their team colors? The Moon is silver and white. Since Cancers have a tendency to be lazy, however, they may need someone to push them out the door. When it comes to the game of love, eager Crabs are devoted, romantic and able to get things going on their own. Crabs are wise to listen to their gut, since this sign rules the stomach.
The great strength of the Cancer-born is the tenacity with which they protect their loved ones. These folks don't ask for much, either: a comfortable home and sense of peace about sums it up. It's that nurturing instinct which makes Cancers a pleasure to be with."
Yep. That about sums me up. Again...I am fascinated by the accuracy yet at the beginning and end of the day, I believe in my Lord Jesus, Creator of ALL. (John 1:3, Colossians 1:16)
Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU stepped outside and looked at the moon?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 17/21)
Friday, July 11, 2014
Seven Day Stay
So a few weeks ago I posted the following on Facebook:
If you had a friend who needed a place to stay for just SEVEN days (wouldn't be able to pay you anything though), would you allow them to stay with you?
*The friend is a good person, not a drug user or drinker. Recently out of work (but unable to collect unemployment), and diligently seeking employment.
I was saddened my some of the comments but encouraged by many others. What my friends didn't realize when I posted this was that I was the friend that I was referring to. Although I am not in that situation at this time, due to my current financial situation, I very well may end up there. So I was checking out my options. If nothing else, I now know WHO I can ask in a time of need and who NOT to ask. For the sake of anonymity I have only used initials. Here were the responses:
"(I): Friends have stayed with me off and on through the years, it can get tricky. I'd want to know what their plan is for the 8th day and what (not if) they will be contributing while there (cooking/cleaning/etc).
9 hours ago · Like · 1
(A): No. Sorry... But there is a law in California that once a person has stayed with you for a certain period of time they have as much right to remain in your home (if not more) as you...
I would also look from the perspective that if someone says 7 days, that means 37.
9 hours ago · Like · 1
(C): I have had friends and family stay with me over the years. Never been in the no money to contribute situation. Just know 7 days could be 6 months! Hopefully this person can feed themselves. Can you afford the utilities that are going to increase? Give it some thought. Where are their family members!
9 hours ago · Like · 2
(G): I'm curious. Where is the person staying now and why can't they stay there for 7 more days?
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(S): I would do it. Praying that someone would do the same for me. With that said, I would do what Iris suggested. Maybe a contract?!?!
8 hours ago · Like · 2
(S): Good question.(G).
8 hours ago · Like
(G1): Honestly? No. Because they will get to comfortable and when you tell them they can't stay any longer then suggested. Then you become the bad friend and lose a friendship over it.
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(A): I agree, G1... not to mention a rental contract is useless... You still have to go through the eviction process if and WHEN things do not go right.
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(ME): In this particular case, SEVEN days means SEVEN days. The person is not trying to be a burden on anyone, so she'd hardly ever be at your home. Just there at night for a place to sleep and shower. She'd find a way to feed herself so that she's not eating your food. On the 8th day, she'd move to the next willing friend's home. And again, all the while very diligently seeking employment so that she can get back to being self-sufficient. She only has one set of family that she could stay with, but would only stay for SEVEN days. If she needed to sign a contract stating that she will leave in SEVEN days, she would gladly do that.
8 hours ago · Like
(A): Chile, all I can say is do it with caution. The next willing person is not guaranteed and once you let the person in you have to do it with zero qualms and knowing this COULD possibly turn into something that is long term.
8 hours ago · Like · 3
Remove
Glenna McDaniel Would do and I have done it for longer periods. Just set ground rules and make sure you both understand the situation. Plus be sure you know them to be someone who keeps their word.
8 hours ago · Like · 4
(C1): I would have to agree with (A)comment .I see this everyday where the kindness of someone's heart is taken advantage of and it ends with law enforcement having to get involved and legal assistance to get them out Just food for thought.
8 hours ago · Like
(S): I did it and had a positive experience. You just have to follow your heart.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 5
(T): I agree with almost everything thats written here. I'd just remember that life never really follows the exact road that WE plan, so her intentions may be to move out in 7 days, but so much can happen within those 7 days which could prevent that. Nothing malicious, like trying to claim ownership on your place...just the norm - a job falling through, an apt not quite ready, illness, etc. I'd just expect the worst while hoping for the best. I'd do it because of what Sharon mentioned as well - it could be anyone of us in that situation. Good luck!
8 hours ago · Like · 3
(G1): There are shelters they can stay long term!! I would not put myself in a situation that is so uncomfortable for the ones that take me in. Because people talk and I wouldn't want to be the one to be talked about!! Three days is even to long!! Contract or not, go with family and don't be a burden to someone else.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like
(ME): (G), she has her own place now but doesn't know how long that will last with no income coming in.
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(G): If she's a good friend and you trust her, I say go for it.
8 hours ago · Like · 4
(G1): Just remember, you asked and we all warned you. Don't want to hear later that you should have taken our advise because then it's too late.
8 hours ago · Like
(P): For as long as I can help them. My door is always open to those in need. If you come in in the middle of the night and I find you on my couch in the morning. Breakfast duty is on you. Giggles.
8 hours ago · Like · 5
(P) Oh Lawd. I just read 1 comment. I swear none of my friends better not let me know they went to some shelter. I'd go get them and give them a tongue lashing. Don't do that. As long as I have a roof over my head. ... so do you. And I don't care if it's uncomfortable. Key word is (friend) though.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 5
(D): You must have "THE TALK"
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 2
(K): That friend is not leaving in 7 days...believe that.
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(E): I can tell from the comments here which people I would want as friends. Not judging or anything. I never find myself in need. But any true friend of mine is welcome in my place. I needed a place to stay in the bay area for a conference and something fell thru. I got the phone number of a distant cousin who put me up and treated me like she knew me all her life, and I had never met her. I use her as an example. Well, her and Jesus, right?
7 hours ago · Like · 14
(P): Amen (E).
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(M): Sure! What are friends for... 7 days...even 14 days...won't break the bank!
7 hours ago · Like · 3
(G1): Well if (J) needs a place to stay, I suppose I would let her stay as well!! Lmao
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(M): Yes, I would accommodate a "friend" of mine during their time of need.
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(J): um... what did i just walk into?!?
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(M1): Yes and I've done it before and have been on the receiving end
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(D1): Yes cause I'm sure she will contribute something to the house cleaning it up cooking for you if you're at work running errands if you needed it I'm sure this person would definitely make it a point if you do for her she'll do for you or if you do for him he'll do for you
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(M1): (G1) your kinda mean. I get the things you said but come on . Life happens if this person ends up needing more than 7 days is that such a bad thing? From the information the person is looking for work the person seem to be a decent person down on their luck. Obviously there should be a time limit but helping someone in need especially a friend of yours should come with open arms otherwise what the point of having friends? What if it was you??? I'm just saying
7 hours ago · Like · 3
(M): I pray I'll never be in that position, but I hope that my family and friends will have a sofa and a blanket and pillow for me if I ever needed them! I did have to move back in with my parents after a layoff and a new baby, then again after another new baby and becoming chronically Ill. And both times it was longer than either of us had planned, and difficult at times....but it wasn't for forever and we made the best of the time together.
I bought a house with a bedroom and bathroom downstairs, because I thought my mom was going to move in with me at the time. She didn't move in and this extra space has become a place of refuge quite a few times. And it hasn't always been easy, but you make things work...it cost a little extra having another person in the house, but you compromise with maybe yard work or help with the garage...or just being in a place of being a blessing to someone in need...God sees if no one else does ...and He will honor your sacrifice and He will ultimately repay your kindness!
7 hours ago · Edited · Like · 3
(D): I have been on both ends as well and I remember having THE TALK both times! As long as there is an understanding of the arrangement!
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(G1) M1, actually a friend took advantage of my kindness. Since then I said never again but I do help if I can with money, food and clothes. It's an awful feeling when you have to tell the friend, it's time to leave. It hurts bad, but it's either my family or friends and we all know that family is first.
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(L): I know that I would help them because lord knows I would not want to be that position and if I was, I would really hope that my friends and family would be there for me in my time of need. I've allowed several family members to stay with me when they needed it and yes one stayed a year longer than they said (it was suppose to be 4 months and it was 16 months) but you know what I would do it again in a heartbeat. Everyone has hard times and we need assistance and to think we won't is really not a good idea. Things happen in life that we can not control and no matter how well you think you are prepared you can not be prepared for everything that happens in life. My sofa is always there if someone needs it...
7 hours ago · Like · 5
(G1): Thanks M, sometimes there are decisions that are hard to make.
7 hours ago · Like
(M1): G1 some friends are family right? Family isn't always blood. I am sorry someone took advantage of you but don't give out hope that there still good people out there. Again I get what you said. Just don't make it seems everyone will do the same to take advantage of people. I have to believe that there still good people in the world who do things because it's the right thing to do.
7 hours ago · Like · 4
(M2): Yes, but only after consulting with a landlord/tenant attorney and getting the length of stay and circumstances in writing. I've heard too many horror stories.
7 hours ago · Like
(G1): Sorry if I sounded mean, I really am not. I guess I was speaking based on my own experience and never gave it a second thought.
6 hours ago · Like · 3
(M1): I get you bro..what you said is valid too. But there still good people out there and sometimes we all just need a Lil help from our friends.
6 hours ago · Like · 1
(Y): Key word is friend/family and my door is open because there but for the grace of God go I. (As a child, my mom used to say: "Remember, you may meet some of the same people on the way down as you met on the way up. Therefore, treat them as you wish to be treated.") As a child, I have been homeless before and family took my mother and her children in. Thank God, I was pretty young and didn't even realize that we were homeless; as I got older and I realized what happened to us, I was so deeply appreciative of the aunt and cousins that took us in. As an adult, I have opened my home before and would do it again. No time limit but you must contribute. If you don't have money, you can help to clean and/or cook..and of course, clean up behind yourself. I only had to put one cousin out (I gave her no time limit) but that was because one day when I came home from work, she had moved another friend of hers in without consulting me (a female friend of hers) AND that particular friend was running around in a negligee without a robe. When I came home, she was ironing in the living room with most of her ass out and her breasts partially exposed. Its early evening; she had been sitting around like that most of the day was the way it looked to me. I have a husband. I told my cousin she could stay but Miss Ass and Tits Out had to go. My cousin chose to leave with her. (I would also make it clear that you cannot live with me FOREVER. You must have a reasonable concrete game plan.)
6 hours ago · Edited · Like · 6
(ME): My goodness! This has been quite the rollercoaster of a post. Saddened by some comments, encouraged by others. I totally understand that the choices are individual and everyone must do what's best for themselves and/or their families (regardless of how good and decent the person in need really is. Yes, even the best of folks fall on hard times, sometimes). Thank you all for your honest input!
6 hours ago · Like · 5
(R):Yes
6 hours ago · Like · 1
(M3): Yes
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(R): I didn't read a comment before I responded. Yes there are exceptions to every rule. I've done it 2 times and I really don't regret either. But for the grace of God
5 hours ago · Like · 4
(D2):Yes, but u need to set ground rules, expectations, and time limit, but yes!!!!!!
5 hours ago · Like
(L1): A friend yes a foe no
5 hours ago · Like
(T): If you have to ask then you have your answer.
5 hours ago · Like
(ME)T, I don't understand. What does that mean?
5 hours ago · Like
(T):It's means that you seem to be hesitant or have second thoughts......go with your gut
5 hours ago · Like · 2
(A): Now, you know you need to pray about this, however.....I would do it but don't be shocked if it's more than seven days :) unless a job is soon secured.
5 hours ago · Edited · Like
(S) is this just a hypothetical?
Either way, kudos to you for having the courage to read the comments of your friends...some of whom seem to be heartless and ungrateful.
If my blessings are not meant to be shared then perhaps I don't deserve them. I have had people live with me and my family over the years and even though things didn't always work out as planned, I didn't lose any friends over it.
Communication up front and throughout the stay should mitigate any misunderstandings along the way.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(S): Curious to know which folks consider themselves spiritual/Christian/religious/holy.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(S): I will add this, if someone is my friend, then they are not selfish, lying, lazy, people looking to get over on me. I would not get an agreement,a lawyer, or a contract. I would take them as sincere. I would believe they were humbled if not embarrassed to ask me for help. Those are my friends.
5 hours ago · Like · 4
(R1): Yes! You did say friend, right? :-)
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(D4): Yes bcuz the bible says when u give shelter to feed and clothe the homeless, He will answer you when u are in need. And you will be healed quickly of any disease or sickness.
But mostly becuz of the internal rewards of helping others. I've been there for a friend once same situation, and it was worth it.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(S2): Yes! If you invite her to stay due to her situation she probably does not have money for food as well. I would feed her. Matthew 25:35-40
4 hours ago · Like · 2
(K): I've taken in friends, family and even a neighbors daughter over the years so I know I would do it in a heartbeat. There's always room on my couch and a plate if your hungry.
2 hours ago · Like · 4
(P): Love D1's answer!
about an hour ago · Like
(J1): I would and I have. Most have been positive experiences. once a girl from church started tripping amd tried tp commit suicide. 1) She was not MY friend, but the troubled teen dtr of an acquaintance at church. 2) I did not have THE TALK. BUT, my friends have been cool. and i stayed at two friends with my children. paid my way & helped clean, cook, etc. all went well. so follow yr heart.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
(P): I have been taken advantage of TWICE... I would do it again and again and again... They have to deal with God and so do I. I will NOT turn away a friend in need because of what some OTHER person did to me. And FTR... I'm not sorry I helped the people who burnt me. I'd roll back the tape and help them again.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
(P): My heart is warmed by all the kind folks in this post. I still believe we have more good people in this country than bad. God bless you all!
about an hour ago · Unlike · 1
(R2): Yes, I would do it. I've done it for years for others, have had to kick one out before(for drug use and she keyed my car when she left) and been on the receiving end of such kindness. The Lord has his reasons for the storms of life. We are here to be a blessing to each other, but you may be the one receiving the blessing.
16 minutes ago · Like"
***
Unfortunately, do to the latest happenings in the news surrounding the nanny who won't leave her employer's home, some of my "not-so-welcoming friends" have been proven right. So if I ever get to the point where I actually DO need help, that nanny has made my chances exponentially more difficult.
Let the DIALOGUE begin: In you adult years, have you ever had to stay with a friend or family member until you could get back on your feet?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 16/21)
If you had a friend who needed a place to stay for just SEVEN days (wouldn't be able to pay you anything though), would you allow them to stay with you?
*The friend is a good person, not a drug user or drinker. Recently out of work (but unable to collect unemployment), and diligently seeking employment.
I was saddened my some of the comments but encouraged by many others. What my friends didn't realize when I posted this was that I was the friend that I was referring to. Although I am not in that situation at this time, due to my current financial situation, I very well may end up there. So I was checking out my options. If nothing else, I now know WHO I can ask in a time of need and who NOT to ask. For the sake of anonymity I have only used initials. Here were the responses:
"(I): Friends have stayed with me off and on through the years, it can get tricky. I'd want to know what their plan is for the 8th day and what (not if) they will be contributing while there (cooking/cleaning/etc).
9 hours ago · Like · 1
(A): No. Sorry... But there is a law in California that once a person has stayed with you for a certain period of time they have as much right to remain in your home (if not more) as you...
I would also look from the perspective that if someone says 7 days, that means 37.
9 hours ago · Like · 1
(C): I have had friends and family stay with me over the years. Never been in the no money to contribute situation. Just know 7 days could be 6 months! Hopefully this person can feed themselves. Can you afford the utilities that are going to increase? Give it some thought. Where are their family members!
9 hours ago · Like · 2
(G): I'm curious. Where is the person staying now and why can't they stay there for 7 more days?
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(S): I would do it. Praying that someone would do the same for me. With that said, I would do what Iris suggested. Maybe a contract?!?!
8 hours ago · Like · 2
(S): Good question.(G).
8 hours ago · Like
(G1): Honestly? No. Because they will get to comfortable and when you tell them they can't stay any longer then suggested. Then you become the bad friend and lose a friendship over it.
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(A): I agree, G1... not to mention a rental contract is useless... You still have to go through the eviction process if and WHEN things do not go right.
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(ME): In this particular case, SEVEN days means SEVEN days. The person is not trying to be a burden on anyone, so she'd hardly ever be at your home. Just there at night for a place to sleep and shower. She'd find a way to feed herself so that she's not eating your food. On the 8th day, she'd move to the next willing friend's home. And again, all the while very diligently seeking employment so that she can get back to being self-sufficient. She only has one set of family that she could stay with, but would only stay for SEVEN days. If she needed to sign a contract stating that she will leave in SEVEN days, she would gladly do that.
8 hours ago · Like
(A): Chile, all I can say is do it with caution. The next willing person is not guaranteed and once you let the person in you have to do it with zero qualms and knowing this COULD possibly turn into something that is long term.
8 hours ago · Like · 3
Remove
Glenna McDaniel Would do and I have done it for longer periods. Just set ground rules and make sure you both understand the situation. Plus be sure you know them to be someone who keeps their word.
8 hours ago · Like · 4
(C1): I would have to agree with (A)comment .I see this everyday where the kindness of someone's heart is taken advantage of and it ends with law enforcement having to get involved and legal assistance to get them out Just food for thought.
8 hours ago · Like
(S): I did it and had a positive experience. You just have to follow your heart.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 5
(T): I agree with almost everything thats written here. I'd just remember that life never really follows the exact road that WE plan, so her intentions may be to move out in 7 days, but so much can happen within those 7 days which could prevent that. Nothing malicious, like trying to claim ownership on your place...just the norm - a job falling through, an apt not quite ready, illness, etc. I'd just expect the worst while hoping for the best. I'd do it because of what Sharon mentioned as well - it could be anyone of us in that situation. Good luck!
8 hours ago · Like · 3
(G1): There are shelters they can stay long term!! I would not put myself in a situation that is so uncomfortable for the ones that take me in. Because people talk and I wouldn't want to be the one to be talked about!! Three days is even to long!! Contract or not, go with family and don't be a burden to someone else.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like
(ME): (G), she has her own place now but doesn't know how long that will last with no income coming in.
8 hours ago · Like · 1
(G): If she's a good friend and you trust her, I say go for it.
8 hours ago · Like · 4
(G1): Just remember, you asked and we all warned you. Don't want to hear later that you should have taken our advise because then it's too late.
8 hours ago · Like
(P): For as long as I can help them. My door is always open to those in need. If you come in in the middle of the night and I find you on my couch in the morning. Breakfast duty is on you. Giggles.
8 hours ago · Like · 5
(P) Oh Lawd. I just read 1 comment. I swear none of my friends better not let me know they went to some shelter. I'd go get them and give them a tongue lashing. Don't do that. As long as I have a roof over my head. ... so do you. And I don't care if it's uncomfortable. Key word is (friend) though.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 5
(D): You must have "THE TALK"
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 2
(K): That friend is not leaving in 7 days...believe that.
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(E): I can tell from the comments here which people I would want as friends. Not judging or anything. I never find myself in need. But any true friend of mine is welcome in my place. I needed a place to stay in the bay area for a conference and something fell thru. I got the phone number of a distant cousin who put me up and treated me like she knew me all her life, and I had never met her. I use her as an example. Well, her and Jesus, right?
7 hours ago · Like · 14
(P): Amen (E).
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(M): Sure! What are friends for... 7 days...even 14 days...won't break the bank!
7 hours ago · Like · 3
(G1): Well if (J) needs a place to stay, I suppose I would let her stay as well!! Lmao
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(M): Yes, I would accommodate a "friend" of mine during their time of need.
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(J): um... what did i just walk into?!?
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(M1): Yes and I've done it before and have been on the receiving end
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(D1): Yes cause I'm sure she will contribute something to the house cleaning it up cooking for you if you're at work running errands if you needed it I'm sure this person would definitely make it a point if you do for her she'll do for you or if you do for him he'll do for you
7 hours ago · Like · 2
(M1): (G1) your kinda mean. I get the things you said but come on . Life happens if this person ends up needing more than 7 days is that such a bad thing? From the information the person is looking for work the person seem to be a decent person down on their luck. Obviously there should be a time limit but helping someone in need especially a friend of yours should come with open arms otherwise what the point of having friends? What if it was you??? I'm just saying
7 hours ago · Like · 3
(M): I pray I'll never be in that position, but I hope that my family and friends will have a sofa and a blanket and pillow for me if I ever needed them! I did have to move back in with my parents after a layoff and a new baby, then again after another new baby and becoming chronically Ill. And both times it was longer than either of us had planned, and difficult at times....but it wasn't for forever and we made the best of the time together.
I bought a house with a bedroom and bathroom downstairs, because I thought my mom was going to move in with me at the time. She didn't move in and this extra space has become a place of refuge quite a few times. And it hasn't always been easy, but you make things work...it cost a little extra having another person in the house, but you compromise with maybe yard work or help with the garage...or just being in a place of being a blessing to someone in need...God sees if no one else does ...and He will honor your sacrifice and He will ultimately repay your kindness!
7 hours ago · Edited · Like · 3
(D): I have been on both ends as well and I remember having THE TALK both times! As long as there is an understanding of the arrangement!
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(G1) M1, actually a friend took advantage of my kindness. Since then I said never again but I do help if I can with money, food and clothes. It's an awful feeling when you have to tell the friend, it's time to leave. It hurts bad, but it's either my family or friends and we all know that family is first.
7 hours ago · Like · 1
(L): I know that I would help them because lord knows I would not want to be that position and if I was, I would really hope that my friends and family would be there for me in my time of need. I've allowed several family members to stay with me when they needed it and yes one stayed a year longer than they said (it was suppose to be 4 months and it was 16 months) but you know what I would do it again in a heartbeat. Everyone has hard times and we need assistance and to think we won't is really not a good idea. Things happen in life that we can not control and no matter how well you think you are prepared you can not be prepared for everything that happens in life. My sofa is always there if someone needs it...
7 hours ago · Like · 5
(G1): Thanks M, sometimes there are decisions that are hard to make.
7 hours ago · Like
(M1): G1 some friends are family right? Family isn't always blood. I am sorry someone took advantage of you but don't give out hope that there still good people out there. Again I get what you said. Just don't make it seems everyone will do the same to take advantage of people. I have to believe that there still good people in the world who do things because it's the right thing to do.
7 hours ago · Like · 4
(M2): Yes, but only after consulting with a landlord/tenant attorney and getting the length of stay and circumstances in writing. I've heard too many horror stories.
7 hours ago · Like
(G1): Sorry if I sounded mean, I really am not. I guess I was speaking based on my own experience and never gave it a second thought.
6 hours ago · Like · 3
(M1): I get you bro..what you said is valid too. But there still good people out there and sometimes we all just need a Lil help from our friends.
6 hours ago · Like · 1
(Y): Key word is friend/family and my door is open because there but for the grace of God go I. (As a child, my mom used to say: "Remember, you may meet some of the same people on the way down as you met on the way up. Therefore, treat them as you wish to be treated.") As a child, I have been homeless before and family took my mother and her children in. Thank God, I was pretty young and didn't even realize that we were homeless; as I got older and I realized what happened to us, I was so deeply appreciative of the aunt and cousins that took us in. As an adult, I have opened my home before and would do it again. No time limit but you must contribute. If you don't have money, you can help to clean and/or cook..and of course, clean up behind yourself. I only had to put one cousin out (I gave her no time limit) but that was because one day when I came home from work, she had moved another friend of hers in without consulting me (a female friend of hers) AND that particular friend was running around in a negligee without a robe. When I came home, she was ironing in the living room with most of her ass out and her breasts partially exposed. Its early evening; she had been sitting around like that most of the day was the way it looked to me. I have a husband. I told my cousin she could stay but Miss Ass and Tits Out had to go. My cousin chose to leave with her. (I would also make it clear that you cannot live with me FOREVER. You must have a reasonable concrete game plan.)
6 hours ago · Edited · Like · 6
(ME): My goodness! This has been quite the rollercoaster of a post. Saddened by some comments, encouraged by others. I totally understand that the choices are individual and everyone must do what's best for themselves and/or their families (regardless of how good and decent the person in need really is. Yes, even the best of folks fall on hard times, sometimes). Thank you all for your honest input!
6 hours ago · Like · 5
(R):Yes
6 hours ago · Like · 1
(M3): Yes
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(R): I didn't read a comment before I responded. Yes there are exceptions to every rule. I've done it 2 times and I really don't regret either. But for the grace of God
5 hours ago · Like · 4
(D2):Yes, but u need to set ground rules, expectations, and time limit, but yes!!!!!!
5 hours ago · Like
(L1): A friend yes a foe no
5 hours ago · Like
(T): If you have to ask then you have your answer.
5 hours ago · Like
(ME)T, I don't understand. What does that mean?
5 hours ago · Like
(T):It's means that you seem to be hesitant or have second thoughts......go with your gut
5 hours ago · Like · 2
(A): Now, you know you need to pray about this, however.....I would do it but don't be shocked if it's more than seven days :) unless a job is soon secured.
5 hours ago · Edited · Like
(S) is this just a hypothetical?
Either way, kudos to you for having the courage to read the comments of your friends...some of whom seem to be heartless and ungrateful.
If my blessings are not meant to be shared then perhaps I don't deserve them. I have had people live with me and my family over the years and even though things didn't always work out as planned, I didn't lose any friends over it.
Communication up front and throughout the stay should mitigate any misunderstandings along the way.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(S): Curious to know which folks consider themselves spiritual/Christian/religious/holy.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(S): I will add this, if someone is my friend, then they are not selfish, lying, lazy, people looking to get over on me. I would not get an agreement,a lawyer, or a contract. I would take them as sincere. I would believe they were humbled if not embarrassed to ask me for help. Those are my friends.
5 hours ago · Like · 4
(R1): Yes! You did say friend, right? :-)
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(D4): Yes bcuz the bible says when u give shelter to feed and clothe the homeless, He will answer you when u are in need. And you will be healed quickly of any disease or sickness.
But mostly becuz of the internal rewards of helping others. I've been there for a friend once same situation, and it was worth it.
5 hours ago · Like · 1
(S2): Yes! If you invite her to stay due to her situation she probably does not have money for food as well. I would feed her. Matthew 25:35-40
4 hours ago · Like · 2
(K): I've taken in friends, family and even a neighbors daughter over the years so I know I would do it in a heartbeat. There's always room on my couch and a plate if your hungry.
2 hours ago · Like · 4
(P): Love D1's answer!
about an hour ago · Like
(J1): I would and I have. Most have been positive experiences. once a girl from church started tripping amd tried tp commit suicide. 1) She was not MY friend, but the troubled teen dtr of an acquaintance at church. 2) I did not have THE TALK. BUT, my friends have been cool. and i stayed at two friends with my children. paid my way & helped clean, cook, etc. all went well. so follow yr heart.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
(P): I have been taken advantage of TWICE... I would do it again and again and again... They have to deal with God and so do I. I will NOT turn away a friend in need because of what some OTHER person did to me. And FTR... I'm not sorry I helped the people who burnt me. I'd roll back the tape and help them again.
about an hour ago · Like · 1
(P): My heart is warmed by all the kind folks in this post. I still believe we have more good people in this country than bad. God bless you all!
about an hour ago · Unlike · 1
(R2): Yes, I would do it. I've done it for years for others, have had to kick one out before(for drug use and she keyed my car when she left) and been on the receiving end of such kindness. The Lord has his reasons for the storms of life. We are here to be a blessing to each other, but you may be the one receiving the blessing.
16 minutes ago · Like"
***
Unfortunately, do to the latest happenings in the news surrounding the nanny who won't leave her employer's home, some of my "not-so-welcoming friends" have been proven right. So if I ever get to the point where I actually DO need help, that nanny has made my chances exponentially more difficult.
Let the DIALOGUE begin: In you adult years, have you ever had to stay with a friend or family member until you could get back on your feet?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 16/21)
Thursday, July 10, 2014
And the Winner is...
So I had this thought the other day and I don't know if anyone has ever said it before, but it's exactly how I'M feeling, so I'M gonna say it now:
In a relationship and/or friendship, when one person always has to be right, BOTH people lose.
And here's why I say that.
Last year, around this time I had plans to celebrate my birthday with the two people who at that time were my "best friends". We were going to ride in the Beach Babe Bicycle Classic which was happening ON my actual birthday. I thought it would be fun and something different for us to do. So we all registered for the ride.
Sometime after registering I decided that I would rather celebrate my birthday at church because my church family, after 18 months, had finally found a new "church home". I didn't want to miss being there so I told my two friends that there was a change in plans and, that I no longer wanted to do the ride, and that I would reimburse them for their race fees since they weren't refundable. Mind you, I make the least amount of money of the 3 of us, and Lord knows I could not afford to reimburse them their fees, but I did it anyway and thought that would be good enough.
Well...one of the friends got so upset about the change in MY OWN birthday plans that she hasn't spoken to me since. Can you believe that. I changed MY birthday plans and that was enough for her to end our friendship. To this day, I still don't understand it, and if it was for any other reason, she won't talk to me to tell me.
Mind you...I did what I truly believe was the "right" thing. Gave her her money back, and asked..."What did I do wrong?" I value friendship enough to want to make things right when they go wrong. Clearly, it didn't mean as much to her because she has yet to respond. So...I was discarded like yesterday's garbage. Didn't feel good, but what can I do.
Now we fast forward to THIS year. A few weeks ago, my remaining "best friend" did something that upset me. I didn't tell her what it was because there really was no point. She wouldn't have understood my viewpoint, and I'm not one to get into a shouting match, or texting war...or whatever. That's not my M.O. When texts start rolling in, I delete them without even reading. Arguing via text message is what kids do. Grown adults, speak via phone, or meet face to face (as I attempted to do).
As I've said before, when someone upsets me, I just close up, and don't say a THING until I'M ready. I do this for two reasons. One...if I speak too soon it is pretty much a guarantee that I am going to say something that's not very "Christ-like" because I will be speaking from my flesh, and not from the Spirit of Christ. So...I wait for my feelings to cool off.
Two...I don't say anything because it's pointless to try to argue a fact when you KNOW that it will be misunderstood. You know this with 100% certainty. So why bother. I didn't.
Once I was ready though, and had HUMBLED myself enough to reach out, I did. I guess I'm being "taught a lesson" because now SHE'S not responding. And to that, I say fine. Be stubborn. Be "right", if there even IS a "right" in this situation, which there's not.
So going back to my first point, when one person ALWAYS has to be right, both people lose. That's how I feel right now.
I valued the friendship enough to HUMBLE myself and reach out even when I wasn't the offender.
So what's the lesson that I've learned? It's this: One can not resolve a "worldly" issue with Biblical principles. You see, I was trying to resolve the matter the way that Jesus tells us to in Matthew 18. However, that chapter is addressing "Division within the "CHURCH". This issue is OUTSIDE of the church but because we are both followers of Christ, I thought the application would be the same. I was wrong.
Oh well. I still love her just as I love the other one who kicked me to the curb last year. Why? Because it's what Christ, my Lord and Savior has COMMANDED me to do in Matthew 5:44-48,
"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."
It seems the older I get, the lonelier the road that I travel. That's alright though, Jesus is with me whether I have 1000 friends or none. And He LOVES me UNCONDITIONALLY. Even when I get angry at Him (which isn't too often, but it has happened), He STILL LOVES ME, and FORGIVES ME. He gives me more than ONE chance. He doesn't hold grudges, and as Christians, we are not to hold them either.
Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's the most hurtful thing that a good friend has ever done to you? Have you addressed it with them or are you harboring the hurt inside?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 15/21)
In a relationship and/or friendship, when one person always has to be right, BOTH people lose.
And here's why I say that.
Last year, around this time I had plans to celebrate my birthday with the two people who at that time were my "best friends". We were going to ride in the Beach Babe Bicycle Classic which was happening ON my actual birthday. I thought it would be fun and something different for us to do. So we all registered for the ride.
Sometime after registering I decided that I would rather celebrate my birthday at church because my church family, after 18 months, had finally found a new "church home". I didn't want to miss being there so I told my two friends that there was a change in plans and, that I no longer wanted to do the ride, and that I would reimburse them for their race fees since they weren't refundable. Mind you, I make the least amount of money of the 3 of us, and Lord knows I could not afford to reimburse them their fees, but I did it anyway and thought that would be good enough.
Well...one of the friends got so upset about the change in MY OWN birthday plans that she hasn't spoken to me since. Can you believe that. I changed MY birthday plans and that was enough for her to end our friendship. To this day, I still don't understand it, and if it was for any other reason, she won't talk to me to tell me.
Mind you...I did what I truly believe was the "right" thing. Gave her her money back, and asked..."What did I do wrong?" I value friendship enough to want to make things right when they go wrong. Clearly, it didn't mean as much to her because she has yet to respond. So...I was discarded like yesterday's garbage. Didn't feel good, but what can I do.
Now we fast forward to THIS year. A few weeks ago, my remaining "best friend" did something that upset me. I didn't tell her what it was because there really was no point. She wouldn't have understood my viewpoint, and I'm not one to get into a shouting match, or texting war...or whatever. That's not my M.O. When texts start rolling in, I delete them without even reading. Arguing via text message is what kids do. Grown adults, speak via phone, or meet face to face (as I attempted to do).
As I've said before, when someone upsets me, I just close up, and don't say a THING until I'M ready. I do this for two reasons. One...if I speak too soon it is pretty much a guarantee that I am going to say something that's not very "Christ-like" because I will be speaking from my flesh, and not from the Spirit of Christ. So...I wait for my feelings to cool off.
Two...I don't say anything because it's pointless to try to argue a fact when you KNOW that it will be misunderstood. You know this with 100% certainty. So why bother. I didn't.
Once I was ready though, and had HUMBLED myself enough to reach out, I did. I guess I'm being "taught a lesson" because now SHE'S not responding. And to that, I say fine. Be stubborn. Be "right", if there even IS a "right" in this situation, which there's not.
So going back to my first point, when one person ALWAYS has to be right, both people lose. That's how I feel right now.
I valued the friendship enough to HUMBLE myself and reach out even when I wasn't the offender.
So what's the lesson that I've learned? It's this: One can not resolve a "worldly" issue with Biblical principles. You see, I was trying to resolve the matter the way that Jesus tells us to in Matthew 18. However, that chapter is addressing "Division within the "CHURCH". This issue is OUTSIDE of the church but because we are both followers of Christ, I thought the application would be the same. I was wrong.
Oh well. I still love her just as I love the other one who kicked me to the curb last year. Why? Because it's what Christ, my Lord and Savior has COMMANDED me to do in Matthew 5:44-48,
"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."
It seems the older I get, the lonelier the road that I travel. That's alright though, Jesus is with me whether I have 1000 friends or none. And He LOVES me UNCONDITIONALLY. Even when I get angry at Him (which isn't too often, but it has happened), He STILL LOVES ME, and FORGIVES ME. He gives me more than ONE chance. He doesn't hold grudges, and as Christians, we are not to hold them either.
Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's the most hurtful thing that a good friend has ever done to you? Have you addressed it with them or are you harboring the hurt inside?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 15/21)
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
The Inevitability of Change
A few weeks ago I saw George Benson perform at the Hollwyood Bowl for the Playboy Jazz Festival. I had never seen him "live" before. As he played and sang I realized that I was watching a living legend. His music it timeless.
He sang a few songs but I was really hoping that he'd sing my favorite: Everything Must Change
"Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same..."
I love that song.
Unfortunately, he didn't sing it. Thankfully, I have it in "MyPod".
Today, that song has been playing in my head on repeat. As I think about my current job situation, my current housing situation, my current friendship situation...I realize that EVERYTHING is changing. None of which I seem to have any control over.
Nevertheless, when my world seems to be spinning, two constants remain: Change is inevitable, and...God is the ONLY constant.
It is in that second part that I find comfort. Even though I don't know where anything is headed, I know that God is already there. That's enough for me. I am sooo glad that God NEVER
changes.
How 'bout you? Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is YOUR world spinning upside down? If so, what do you do to stay calm?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 14/21)
He sang a few songs but I was really hoping that he'd sing my favorite: Everything Must Change
"Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same..."
I love that song.
Unfortunately, he didn't sing it. Thankfully, I have it in "MyPod".
Today, that song has been playing in my head on repeat. As I think about my current job situation, my current housing situation, my current friendship situation...I realize that EVERYTHING is changing. None of which I seem to have any control over.
Nevertheless, when my world seems to be spinning, two constants remain: Change is inevitable, and...God is the ONLY constant.
It is in that second part that I find comfort. Even though I don't know where anything is headed, I know that God is already there. That's enough for me. I am sooo glad that God NEVER
How 'bout you? Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is YOUR world spinning upside down? If so, what do you do to stay calm?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 14/21)
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
I Come in Peace. I Go in Peace.
Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you typically the one to reach out and reconcile, or do you stubbornly wait for them to reach out to you?
Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you vocal and argumentative about why you are upset, or do you silently process what's going on until you've had enough time to come back around?
Question: Are you allowed to ever have a disagreement with a friend, or is ONE chance all you get before that friend "writes you off"?
I posed those questions because apparently I am not allowed to get upset. I only get one chance and then I'm cut off. Pretty high standard to live up to, ain't it? I am not perfect (nor have I ever professed to be), and I am entitled to get upset about things. Everyone processes anger differently. Some are extremely vocal when they are upset. I am the complete opposite. I close up like a clam until I have cooled off. Sometimes I cool off in hours, sometimes days, other times weeks. It just depends on which chord was struck. Now...I may FORGIVE the offense right away, yet still may not be able to communicate with anyone about it that quickly. That's just me.
Anyhoo...I am one of the least confrontational people that most folks know. I simply don't do "drama".
Over the past couple of weeks, my Pastor has been preaching on "division in the church", what causes it, and how to resolve it. The main thing that he has pointed out is that, when it comes to reconciliation of a relationship, MY responsibility to MAKE THE ATTEMPT at reconciling. How the other person responds is NOT my responsibility.
Now...this is NOT to be confused with forgiveness. I say that because I know at least ONE person who seems to be confused so surely there are others. Matthew 18:21 is in reference to how many times a person is to forgive another. I get that completely and I have already forgiven. My issue is in reaching out, attempting to "make things right", only to have the other person be stubborn, or feel that they are "gonna teach me a lesson" by not responding. I am not responsible for their response and do not feel that I need to KEEP reaching out and begging. I mean really, why would I be the one begging when I was the one who was offended? Doesn't make sense, does it?
So...I extended the olive branch and in essence, it got pooped on. Maybe this is how it works when I try to apply a Biblical principle to an issue that is OUTSIDE of the church. Who knows?
Once again, it hurts to know how easy it is for people to discard me like yesterday's garbage, but it's not the first time. I guess I could say that I'm used to it, but this isn't really a feeling that one should ever have to be "used to".
I find it interesting that children tend to act up around Christmas, and I tend to lose friends around my birthday. What's up with that?
Oh well. Just as I still love the friend who "wrote me off" at this time last year, I will continue to love the one who has "written me off" this time. Some friendships end because one person has an affair with the other person's significant other. That's a pretty big offense and worth ending a friendship over. In my case, friendships end when I display a very human emotion that everyone else is okay to display. Never knew that the rules were different for me and only me.
Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is the smallest, trivial, menial thing that someone ever ended a relationship with you over?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 13/21)
Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you vocal and argumentative about why you are upset, or do you silently process what's going on until you've had enough time to come back around?
Question: Are you allowed to ever have a disagreement with a friend, or is ONE chance all you get before that friend "writes you off"?
I posed those questions because apparently I am not allowed to get upset. I only get one chance and then I'm cut off. Pretty high standard to live up to, ain't it? I am not perfect (nor have I ever professed to be), and I am entitled to get upset about things. Everyone processes anger differently. Some are extremely vocal when they are upset. I am the complete opposite. I close up like a clam until I have cooled off. Sometimes I cool off in hours, sometimes days, other times weeks. It just depends on which chord was struck. Now...I may FORGIVE the offense right away, yet still may not be able to communicate with anyone about it that quickly. That's just me.
Anyhoo...I am one of the least confrontational people that most folks know. I simply don't do "drama".
Over the past couple of weeks, my Pastor has been preaching on "division in the church", what causes it, and how to resolve it. The main thing that he has pointed out is that, when it comes to reconciliation of a relationship, MY responsibility to MAKE THE ATTEMPT at reconciling. How the other person responds is NOT my responsibility.
Now...this is NOT to be confused with forgiveness. I say that because I know at least ONE person who seems to be confused so surely there are others. Matthew 18:21 is in reference to how many times a person is to forgive another. I get that completely and I have already forgiven. My issue is in reaching out, attempting to "make things right", only to have the other person be stubborn, or feel that they are "gonna teach me a lesson" by not responding. I am not responsible for their response and do not feel that I need to KEEP reaching out and begging. I mean really, why would I be the one begging when I was the one who was offended? Doesn't make sense, does it?
So...I extended the olive branch and in essence, it got pooped on. Maybe this is how it works when I try to apply a Biblical principle to an issue that is OUTSIDE of the church. Who knows?
Once again, it hurts to know how easy it is for people to discard me like yesterday's garbage, but it's not the first time. I guess I could say that I'm used to it, but this isn't really a feeling that one should ever have to be "used to".
I find it interesting that children tend to act up around Christmas, and I tend to lose friends around my birthday. What's up with that?
Oh well. Just as I still love the friend who "wrote me off" at this time last year, I will continue to love the one who has "written me off" this time. Some friendships end because one person has an affair with the other person's significant other. That's a pretty big offense and worth ending a friendship over. In my case, friendships end when I display a very human emotion that everyone else is okay to display. Never knew that the rules were different for me and only me.
Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is the smallest, trivial, menial thing that someone ever ended a relationship with you over?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
(Day 13/21)
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