I Come in Peace. I Go in Peace.

Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you typically the one to reach out and reconcile, or do you stubbornly wait for them to reach out to you?

Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you vocal and argumentative about why you are upset, or do you silently process what's going on until you've had enough time to come back around?

Question: Are you allowed to ever have a disagreement with a friend, or is ONE chance all you get before that friend "writes you off"?

I posed those questions because apparently I am not allowed to get upset. I only get one chance and then I'm cut off. Pretty high standard to live up to, ain't it? I am not perfect (nor have I ever professed to be), and I am entitled to get upset about things. Everyone processes anger differently. Some are extremely vocal when they are upset. I am the complete opposite. I close up like a clam until I have cooled off. Sometimes I cool off in hours, sometimes days, other times weeks. It just depends on which chord was struck. Now...I may FORGIVE the offense right away, yet still may not be able to communicate with anyone about it that quickly. That's just me.

Anyhoo...I am one of the least confrontational people that most folks know. I simply don't do "drama".

Over the past couple of weeks, my Pastor has been preaching on "division in the church", what causes it, and how to resolve it. The main thing that he has pointed out is that, when it comes to reconciliation of a relationship, MY responsibility to MAKE THE ATTEMPT at reconciling. How the other person responds is NOT my responsibility.

Now...this is NOT to be confused with forgiveness. I say that because I know at least ONE person who seems to be confused so surely there are others. Matthew 18:21 is in reference to how many times a person is to forgive another. I get that completely and I have already forgiven. My issue is in reaching out, attempting to "make things right", only to have the other person be stubborn, or feel that they are "gonna teach me a lesson" by not responding. I am not responsible for their response and do not feel that I need to KEEP reaching out and begging. I mean really, why would I be the one begging when I was the one who was offended? Doesn't make sense, does it?

So...I extended the olive branch and in essence, it got pooped on. Maybe this is how it works when I try to apply a Biblical principle to an issue that is OUTSIDE of the church. Who knows?

Once again, it hurts to know how easy it is for people to discard me like yesterday's garbage, but it's not the first time. I guess I could say that I'm used to it, but this isn't really a feeling that one should ever have to be "used to".

I find it interesting that children tend to act up around Christmas, and I tend to lose friends around my birthday. What's up with that?

Oh well. Just as I still love the friend who "wrote me off" at this time last year, I will continue to love the one who has "written me off" this time. Some friendships end because one person has an affair with the other person's significant other. That's a pretty big offense and worth ending a friendship over. In my case, friendships end when I display a very human emotion that everyone else is okay to display. Never knew that the rules were different for me and only me.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is the smallest, trivial, menial thing that someone ever ended a relationship with you over?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 13/21)