Dressing on Purpose

After 4 days of mind clearing, stress relieving bliss, I had to go back to work today :-(

For 4 days I got to be a Mom to my kids, and a friend to my friends. I got to be me. I wasn't worn out, frazzled and exhausted as I usually am from being overworked. For once, in a very long time I felt rested.

I realize that in today's economy it's pretty much "taboo" to complain about one's job because there are so many people who would love to be in my seat. So let me say from the jump: I am thankful for having a job. HOWEVER...the stress that I am placed under each day is NOT normal. Many of coworkers cry on the way to work (me included). Some of us cry while at work. Is that normal? I think not.

We come in, sit down and GO. Barely having time to even bid each other a "good morning".

We remind ourselves to breathe throughout the day because most of the time we are suffocating. We are drowning. It's bad...really really bad.

And it's finally gotten to the point where I have come to realize that no matter how much I do, no matter how late I work...it will NEVER be enough, because there are simply too few people in my office to get the job done. Waaay too few. Sadly, it's not going to change. Understaffed and Overwhelmed has become the "new normal".

So as I prepared to get dressed for work this morning, trying to let go of the depression that sets in before the beginning of each work week, I decided to dress to match the way I felt. I wore ALL BLACK. Today, I dressed on purpose. Everyday that I go into that office I feel like a little piece of me is dying. This can't be normal. It just can't be.

Again...I am thankful to have a job because I need a way to provide for my family and right now, this is it. But the price that I am paying, both in my physical and emotional health is more than I can afford, and can never be repaid.

I sometimes feel like an victim of abuse. People say to me, "Why don't you leave if it's so bad"? But it's not that easy. Where I am supposed to go? Who's hiring? I feel trapped. It's ver similar to an abuse victime. They want to leave. They know that they need to get out. They know that the longer they stay, the worse it'll get. And so, they stay. Playing out the escape in their minds, but never quite able to make the actual getaway. No one should ever feel this way. Not in a personal relationship, not at work. This is so unhealthy. I call it "workplace abuse syndrome". Not sure if that's an actual diagnosis, but it certainly the name that I would go with.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you feel trapped in your job? What's keeping you from leaving? Do you think you'll ever get out?

Talk to me!

Til next time...