Who Cares What Anybody Thinks?!? I do!!!

Tonight will be another short one, mainly because I'm tired.

So tomorrow is my running group's end of the month "all-group" run. That's where the various groups from different cities all meet up in ONE city and run together.

As much as I want to go, there's a big part of me that doesn't. That's the shameful part that doesn't want everyone to see how much weight I've gained. One of the women who will be there tomorrow actually helped me to lose 26 pounds back in 2012 (has since unfriended me) and I'm sure will look at me with disgust tomorrow...as if all of her efforts were for naught.

That's really not the case. It's just that life and depression got in the way of my weight loss efforts and as a result, I'm fat again.

But I love being out with my group, and even though I'm sure that I will come in LAST, I still want to be there.

So we'll see how it goes. Either SHAME will win and I'll end up staying home (again), or I will no concern myself with what others think and I'll get my fat butt out there. I'll let you know tomorrow.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is there anything that you are ashamed of?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Seeing and BELIEVING

Not everyone knows my story so on January 29th every year I tell it again, as a reminder to some, and as new info to others.

The short and skinny of it is this: On January 29th, 2009 at the suggestion of my optometrist, I went to see a retina specialist because my I had some "interesting things" going on with my eyes.

So I go to the specialist's office and IMMEDIATELY realize that something is wrong. I am the YOUNGEST person in the office, buy AT LEAST 40 YEARS!!!

I get checked in, get my pupils dilated and proceed to have images taken of my eyes all while EXTREMELY BRIGHT LIGHT is being shone in them. My eyes teared, and teared, and teared some more. I think at one point I pleaded with them to stop taking the images, but of course, they couldn't, so they didn't.

After the images were taken I went back into the waiting room until it was my turn to see the specialist.

He calls me in, looks at my images and before he even introduces himself, he comes right out with, "Is there a history of BLINDNESS in your family?"

WHAT?!?

What kind of way is THAT for us to start off???

I tell him no.

He them draws a picture of an eyeball, marks it up and says, "That's what's going on in YOUR eyes. Rips, tears, holes..."

I was numb. Not really knowing what any of that meant.

Finally, I found my voice and asked him, "So what do we do about it?"

His cold response, "Nothing".

"So I'm going to lose my eyesight?"

He replied, "Most people have a 1 in 10,000 chance of losing their vision. YOU have a 1 in 100 chance. I have to tell you, YOURS are the WORST eyes I've ever seen, and I see thousands of patients each year."

The numbness returned.

"So there's nothing I can do?"

"Nothing. Just come in twice a year so that we can monitor the degeneration, but other than that, no...nothing to stop it."

Well alrighty then!

He scheduled for me to come back in 3 weeks, maybe 6 (I can't remember), to do some follow up tests, and sent me on my not-so-merry way.

No sooner than I left his office I IMMEDIATELY fell into a depression. He had just told me that I was going to lose my eyesight, sooner rather than later.

I came home and CRIED. My kids cried with me because they could see how torn up I was. My doctor took me off work, because I stopped functioning. In my mind, I was going blind...and I didn't know when. It was the WORST news I'd ever received in my LIFE!

After a while I realized that I had to "snap out of it". I still had a life to live and children to take care of. I had to get myself together! And I prayed.

Of course, my initial prayer was, "Lord, please don't let this happen."

Over time it became, "Lord, let Your will be done." Now THAT was a difficult prayer to pray!!! That meant that if I kept my eyesight, I would accept it, and if I LOST my eyesight, I would accept that too.

So I go back to the specialist a few weeks later, they take those HORRIBLE bright light images again, and I see "Dr. Doom and Gloom" to go over everything.

He looks over the images...perplexed.

He calls someone else in to look at them...now they're BOTH perplexed...and I'm curious.

"Dr. Doom & Gloom" asks, "Where is the hole?"

The assistant says, "I don't see it."

The doctor says, "It was in the last images. Why isn't it in these?"

I say, "Because I have PRAYED to the Lord who MADE THESE EYES and He has removed whatever was there."

Now they are both looking at me like I am from another planet.

WHATEVER! I know that I serve an omnipotent God and He is able to heal whenever and however He so chooses. THIS I KNOW.

So he sent me away again, and I've NEVER been back. I see my optometrist regularly, but I will NEVER go back to that man. Even if I do need to see another specialist in the future, it won't be he who lacks compassion.

Yes, my eyes still do things that most folks' eyes don't do.
Yes, I have to wear "special" sunglasses even on days when the sun isn't so bright, and I wear them OVER my regular glasses.
No, I can't wear contacts anymore because I "see stars" when I put them in.

But PRAISE BE TO GOD that I CAN STILL SEE!!!

He made these eyes and He has sustained my vision. That's why I notice things than most overlook...because I SEE and APPRECIATE EVERYTHING.

So on this day, January 29th 2015, I am celebrating my 6 year BIRTHDAVERSARY. I call it a birthdaversary because I feel like that was the day that I really began seeing life from a different perspective...and being ever-so-thankful for it.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have any health related BIRTHDAVERSARIES that YOU celebrate each year?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The Main Ingredient is...

So I'm a fairly private person and don't much of my business "out there". But every now and then, something AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL happens and I just have to share. Tonight's post was inspired by my beloved "Joe" and what he did for me yesterday. I'll start off with our phone conversation:

5:16 p.m., phone rings {I'm still at work}
Me: Hey.
Joe: Hey, what's goin' on?
Me: Not much. Just workin'.
Joe: You're still at work?
Me:Yep
Joe: For how long?
Me: Not long. Maybe another 15 mins.
Me: What are you up to?
Joe: Not much. Just over here at my sister's house.
Me: The one near me?
Joe: Yep
Me: Well, if you're that close you should swing by.
Joe: Yeah, I think I will. I'm kinda hungry.
Me: There's plenty of food for you to make a sandwich, or if you want something hot, there's leftover spaghetti.
Joe: Do you have garlic bread?
Me: Yep.
Joe: Cool. I'm gonna do that. I'll probably be there before you though.
Me: That's fine. You have a key.
Joe: Yeah, I know. Alright, I'll see you when you get home.

***20 minutes later***
{phone rings}
Me: Hey.
Joe: Have you left yet?
Me: Yep, I'm on my way now.
Joe: Alright then.
Me: See you in a bit.

***

So I get home, open the door, and there's Joe, just chillin'. His presence always puts an IMMEDIATE SMILE on my face.

We "greeted" each other.
I asked him if he had eaten.
He said no.
I asked why, there's plenty of food.

At that moment he gets up, takes my hand, escorts me to the kitchen and motions for me to have a seat. So I do. I'm still not 100% sure about what's going on but whatever it is, I'm enjoying it. I'm thinking that we're gonna have the leftover spaghetti together.

He then grabs some dishes from the cupboard, heads over to the stove and proceeds to "plate" my dinner. Dinner that HE cooked! He made chicken fettucini alfredo with broccoli, garlic bread, and prepared a salad!

So he brings my plate to me, then serves up his own, and we dined and conversed by the light of the candle that he had placed in the center of the table. WHAT?!? Yes!!!

It was better than any restaurant experience we could've had.

After we finished eating I thought for a minute and said, "You were already here when you called me, weren't you?" He said, "Woman I'd been here for hours. Got here, ascertained the situation then went out and bought everything."

He could tell that my eyes were asking, why.

*cue the music and get your tissue for this next part*

He proceeded to tell me, "You work hard and I wanted you to just come home and rest without having to do anything...because you deserve it. *tear*

At this very moment...24 hours later, I am STILL smiling!

He just never ceases to amaze me. Last night's dinner was so much more than a meal. It was LOVE served on a plate...and it was DELICIOUS!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Ladies...what is the most THOUGHTFUL thing a man has ever done for you, and how long ago was it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

I Pray for You, You Pray for Me...and Watch God Change Things

This one's gonna be short and sweet tonight because my heart is simply too heavy for anything more. For those of you who pray IN THE NAME OF JESUS, please, if you will...say a prayer for me. No need for me to go into detail...God already knows. Please and Thank You.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What can I pray for on your behalf?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Just Another TIRED Monday

Mondays are my long days and by the time 11:00 p.m. comes around I am COMPLETELY drained.

I leave for work at 7am and get off at 5pm. Tonight I had to take Jordan to

get her car out of the shop (only to find that it won't be ready until tomorrow). I took her back home and then headed to the Financial Peace class that I attend from 7pm-9pm.

So here it is...almost 11:00, I still have a zillion things to do, and only enough energy to crawl into bed. So THAT'S what I'm gonna do.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is there a particular day of the week that you find wears you out more than others?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Say It Loud!!!

So a few weeks ago "Joe" and I were talking about some of his "favorites". His favorite movie is "Roots" followed very closely by "Coming To America." One of...and this very well MAY BE his favorite books is Assata: An Autobiography by Assata Shakur.

So many things about Joe fascinate me, especially his love and passion for helping to empower people in the community. He thrives on doing exactly what I wish I could do EVERYDAY. He is all about community activism which is one of the many characteristics that I love about him.

Finding myself curious, I went to my local library and got the book. Can I tell you...it has been virtually impossible to put down. I am LOVING it, and wondering how it is that I'd never read it before now.

Then again...I'm not THAT surprised. You see, books like these aren't part of the "mainstream curriculum" at most schools. Not in grades K-12 and sadly, not in most colleges, except for the HBCUs. When I consider those facts, it's really NOT that surprising that I've never read the book.

Here's what I'm finding though...as I've just gotten through a little over half of the book, I'm anxious for it to end, yet I don't want it to end, and I am ready for MORE books like this one which detail the "Black struggle" and the strength of those who have been brutalized, yet endured as a result.

So many stories have been told. So many stories I have yet to read.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What are some of YOUR favorite books about the Civil Rights Movement, and the amazing folks who fought through it. Not so much a "physical" fight, but a fight for their lives, just to make it through.

Talk to me...

Til next time...

Do You SEE What I HEAR?

So in one of my Facebook groups today someone posed this question:

"What is the strangest/weirdest/craziest thing that has ever happened to you at a nightclub?"

I replied with the following:
"This doesn't really fall under strange/weird/or crazy...but kinda funny. Back in the early 90s I used to listen to 92.3 The Beat. At that time (some of you may remember) there was a DJ/Radio Personality named "Theo". OMG...I LOVED that dude! His voice made me melt and I absolutely hung on his every word. Sooo...one night I hear that he's gonna be at a local club. Me and my best friend get all "gussied up" and we head to the club, so that I can FINALLY meet "Mr. Melting Pot" in person. We're there for a couple hours and I'm looking at all the fine chocolate "bruthas" in the place wondering, "Is THAT one him...is THAT one him?" Later that night the moment I had been waiting for finally arrived and out he came...My eyes grew to the size of saucers. "Mr. Melting Pot" wasn't Black at all...he was ASIAN!!! What?!? That tripped me out. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that the dude with the sexy chocolate voice would be Asian. Me & my friend laughed about that for I don't know HOW long. Theo got me good that night...yep, he got me good."

Now it's YOUR turn...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever met someone in person (after ONLY hearing their voice), and they were COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what you had envisioned?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Baked, Boiled, Fried and...

Yesterday evening I took a trip to my local "big box store". I was only there for toilet paper. But I have recently figured out that the toilet paper is very strategically placed in the store. Do you know where they keep it? IN THE BACK OF THE STORE! That means that folks have to pass by EVERYTHING ELSE to get to it, and then pass by THE REST OF THE STUFF to get to the register. So going in for ONE thing and coming out with JUST THAT ONE THING is virtually IMPOSSIBLE.

They got me well before I got to the toilet paper. I was going up and down the meat aisle and right next to that are the yummy side dishes. Oh what a variety there is to choose from! So I looked at THIS, and I looked at THAT, and soon thereafter found myself pushing MASHED POTATOES around in my cart. MASHED POTATOES!!! I can't tell you the last time I even had mashed potatoes, but all of a sudden my mouth began to water at the thought of enjoying spoon after spoonful. And when I got home, I did just that. Heated those bad boys up and got MASHED POTATO WASTED!!!

NO, that's not something that I do often, and YES I know that mashed potatoes aren't "good for me". But I wanted them, and after the week I'd had...I NEEDED them.

Once they're gone, I'm sure that I'll be "over it" and won't have another spoonful of mashed potatoes for who knows how long. But for now...while they're here...I'm gonna enjoy them.

So how 'bout you...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is YOUR favorite "comfort food", and how often do you have it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Those who can...DO.

After a long day at work I headed to the store to pick up a few things for dinner and then began to make my way home. I was hungry and tired, until...I passed by the local church and saw that the American Red Cross was having a blood drive there. All of a sudden, my hunger and fatigue faded and I pulled into the the parking lot of the church.

Without an appointment I walked inside and was warmly welcomed, as always. I checked in, read the required paperwork, answered the routine questions, got my finger pricked...PASSED the iron levels test, and DONATED my pint of blood.

Wouldn't you know it...as I was laying there on the donation table, guess who popped into my thoughts {insert Jeopardy theme song here}...you guessed it...my Mom.

I got to thinking about how much she LOVED veins...the good ones that're easy to spot, and those tough ones that are barely visible. Those were her favorites because they gave most nurses quite a challenge...but they were NEVER a challenge for her. My mom could start an I.V. on ANYBODY. Young or old...didn't matter...she'd find that vein!

So anyhoo...I laid there hooked up and squeezing until my bag was full...and my heart was fuller.

I love being a donor, and I especially love the fact that as an "O-" universal donor, I can give to ANYONE. That comes as no surprise. God gave me the blood type that matches my personality.

I understand that there are many folks who, for various reasons, don't donate blood. I pretty much understand all but ONE reason...FEAR. I've heard people say, "Oh no...I'm afraid of needles", or, "I'm afraid of blood." For those folks I've got a little secret..."DON'T LOOK AT THE NEEDLE AND DON'T LOOK AT THE BLOOD. LOOK THE OTHER WAY!"

Anyhoo...I'm glad that I gave and I'm glad that I can give to anyone who has a need. If I can remember to go every 56 days

, I will.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's YOUR blood type? Have you ever donated blood? If so, when was the last time?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Holding On...barely

So I've been trying to "hang on" but as each day passes the task becomes more and more difficult.

It's funny how some areas of my life are absolutely AMAZING, and other areas (really just ONE) are swirling around like a turd in the toilet. For me, that ONE area is work. I just can't seem to get it right. I can't seem to find what it is that I've been searching for when it comes to a career...and it's beginning to take a toll...a MAJOR toll.

I've fallen back into my depression and I feel like I'm coming undone. I hate this feeling.

Why is it so difficult?

Why is it that some folks are in that dream careers already, and I...I am still scratching and clawing trying to find my way. Clearly I've gone wrong somewhere. Clearly.

Anyhoo...this whole thing has drained me mentally so I'm going to end tonight's post here. Oh, before I close...for all of the folks who will read this and say, "Just be thankful that you have a job." Yes, I get it, and I am...yet I know that God has more planned for me than this...I just know He does. And I want it. I'm ready for it.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you operating in YOUR dream career, or are you still scratching and clawing like me?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

One Step at a Time

I posted the following on my running group's page this evening. Thought I'd share it here with all of you. Once again, my beloved mother has made an appearance in my thoughts...I don't think a day has gone by that she hasn't. And I am a-ok with that. Anyhoo...here it is:

"After being absent for the past 3 months, tonight I "got back out there" with the The Lakewood Lovelies. I've gotta say, these were the most emotional 2.93 miles I've ever done. With every step I thought about the reason that kept me away for so long...my Mom. My Mom who walked HER last STEP on 9/17/14, had her right leg amputated on 9/25/14 and took her last BREATH on 11/9/14. All I could think about tonight was how much she would've LOVED the opportunity to have done what I was doing. So tonight's 2.93 miles were dedicated to my Mom. It wasn't my fastest pace, nor my longest distance, and once again...I came in last...but FINISHED. That's all my Mom would've cared about...FINISHING. And it would've been enough to make her proud. Sooo good to be back with my "sole sisters" again...who welcomed me with the LOVE and encouragement that is BGR!"

Sometimes we "leave it all on the pavement" and other times, like tonight, the pavement GIVES us more than we anticipated. Either way...it's all good.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you a runner? If so, do you typically run solo, or with a group?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Remembering Dr. King (and my Mom)

So today was Martin Luther King Jr. Day and although I would have preferred to make this a "day of service" volunteering somewhere, I had to work. Oh well.

As I was at work I remembered how as a young girl I would ask my Mom if I could stay home from school. This was well before "King Day" became a federal holiday. I vividly remembered her words.

"You can stay home but you're not gonna just sit around and watch TV all day. You have to write an essay about Dr. King and what he meant to the world." EASY!

Even at a young age I loved to write, so for me that was a "win-win".

Now, all these years later children don't have to ask if they can stay home because this day is now a federal holiday (as it should be).

I just hope that folks who had the day "off" didn't just use it as a day to "loaf around", but instead, used it to serve and meet the needs of others, as Dr. King would have wanted.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: If your employer observed this day as a company holiday, what did YOU do with it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Spiritual Divide

Today I write with a heavy heart.

No, no one has died, yet at the same time I am saddened by the fact that some folks will, and I will NEVER see them again. Why? Because our spiritual beliefs are vastly different.

I am a believer in Christ. I confess Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I believe that Jesus is THE way, the truth and the life. THIS is what I believe.

With the advances of social media I am sadly realizing that many folks I know simply don't believe the same. Some never believed. Some used to and have chosen not to any longer. Others believe in Jesus and someone/something else. For me...based on my Bible, Jesus is IT. He stands alone. HE is ALL we need in order to obtain salvation. This is what I believe, yet I fully understand that there are many who would argue my beliefs...and that's okay. We all have the FREEDOM to choose.

What I often find fascinating is how siblings can be brought up in the same household, under the same spiritual teaching, and become adults who believe completely different from each other. I wonder...how does that happen? And then I go back to, FREEDOM of CHOICE and it all makes sense. As a result, I am reminded of Matthew 10:34-39. Bottom line...Jesus knew that there would be division amongst family and friends. So since none of this division is a surprise to Him, I imagine that it shouldn't be for me either.

Nevertheless, it makes me sad. More and more I am seeing the rejection of Jesus and it just makes my heart heavy.

Thankfully though, there's still hope. And the same hearts that have been hardened AGAINST Christ, can also be softened before those folks take their last breaths. Until then...it's not too late.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: If you are a believer in Christ, have you noticed a rejection of Christ lately. If so, how do YOU feel when that happens?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Walking to The Beat

So it appears that I was a bit "ambitious" in my "365 Posts in 365 Days" plan. Although my heart, mind, and fingertips were willing...unfortunately, my finances and the internet were not.

At that very end of Wednesday night's post, I ran out of data and couldn't afford to buy more until I got paid on Friday. Friday came, and so did my plans for that night, which meant that I wasn't able to get a post in. So here I am...2 days behind, if we don't include today. No worries...I'm still determined to "get 'er done!"

Today's post was inspired by my afternoon walk. Now that my plantar fasciitis has gone away (THANK GOD!!!) I have resumed my evening walks, hoping to reach my goal of 500 miles walked by 12/31/15.

What I found interesting today is how things have changed. When I began walking as exercise back in July 2012, I would rarely walk without music. I had to have it. And if for some reason, I accidentally left my earbuds behind, it would throw me all out of whack. It was like my feet just couldn't move without the music.

Later on down the line, for safety reasons, I started walking with just ONE ear plugged.

Fast forward to NOW, and I rarely walk with music anymore.

Instead, I now allow nature to be my soundtrack.

If I'm out on trail, I choose to listen to birds chirping or the sounds that rustle in the brush (which typically freaks me out, but thankfully none of the creators of that rusting have eaten me).

If I'm at the beach, the crashing waves accompany my footsteps.

And if I'm walking through the neighborhood, I am met with a variety of sounds that make me smile. Whether it's the chatter of children, or the television in someone's living room, or dinner being cooked in the kitchen...I am always left wondering..."What's their story?"

As I said before, the shift has been quite interesting. If someone had told me 2.5 years ago that I'd be walking WITHOUT my beloved music, I wouldn't have believed them. But...here I am.

Anyhoo...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: If you are one who runs or walks for exercise, do you prefer music or to go without?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Getting Connected

It's late, but I'm gonna get today's post in.

Had problems with my internet at home which means it's time for a new internet provider.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Who do YOU use for internet, and do you like them?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Baby $tep$

When I created my 2015 Vision Board, I made a commitment to MYSELF that I would work diligently to make the dreams and goals on that board become REALITY. One of the many areas that need focus is the one concerning my financial situation. It's deplorable! I don't know exactly where I went wrong, I just know that I took a terribly wrong turn and it's NOW time to get back on the right track.

For months, heck...maybe even YEARS, I've been wanting to do something to "make things right". Of course, the longer I waited, the worse things got, and at some point I just stopped trying altogether. I froze. Now...here I am.

Don't count me out though. I'm still in the game. And since I'm still in the game, I can still get my "financial house" in order.

Yesterday, I attended the 1st of a 9 week class to help me figure out how to dig myself out of the mess I've made for myself. I wasn't really sure WHAT to expect, but I can say that I left feeling hopeful. I left with the realization that I don't have to "eat this elephant" all in ONE bite, but instead...one bite at a time. (Now I know I shouldn't have to say this, but I know how folks are, so here goes:NO...I am NOT referring to an ACTUAL elephant. I don't eat elephants. It's just a term.)

Although the road ahead is quite daunting, I know that it is a road that I MUST travel if I am ever going to be able to purchase a home, or car, or ANYTHING that requires "good credit".

Yet I fully understand that "financial freedom" will NEVER come until I put in the work.

So...here's to the next 9 weeks. I look forward to completing the course and having a feeling of "I can do this" vs. "How do I do this?"

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever experienced "financial ruin", and if so, how did you bounce back?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

No Parking on The Dance Floor...or Anywhere Else

So I have an issue with the city I live in and may need to write to the "powers that be" to figure out what can be done, because SOMETHING needs to be done.

The issue is regarding STREET SWEEPING.

On my block street sweeping is on Monday mornings from 5:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. ON BOTH SIDES OF THE STREET!

That makes absolutely NO sense AT ALL!

Parking is at a premium as it is in my neighborhood, and the neighboring streets require PERMITS. So WHERE are folks supposed to park their cars on Monday mornings?

For me it's not a big deal because I have a reserved spot in our parking lot, but for visitors who stay overnight, there is simply NO PLACE for them to park which means that they will HAVE to park on street and pretty much be guaranteed a ticket, OR...get up before 5:00 and move their cars to who knows where. And YES...it would have to be THAT early because the street sweeper is ON THE MOVE right at 5:00.

Oh well...hopefully this won't be a problem much longer for my visiting friends as I hope to be moving soon...preferably to a place where I will have my own garage and driveway where my guests can park.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: For those of you who are RENTERS is there ample parking in YOUR neighborhood for visitors?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

A Year's Worth of Posts

As of today, I have written enough posts here at The Dialogue Den to last a whole year. Yes folks, this is my 365th post. How 'bout that! Yay ME!!

My blog has been quite a labor or love. I still haven't figured out how to get it to "take off" and generate the following that I had (and still) hoped for, but if I am only writing for an "audience of One", that's enough for me, and so...I keep writing.

So my weekend has been great and there's lots for me to write about, but with most great weekends come exhaustion, and right now...I am exhausted.

How 'bout you sit in the driver's seat tonight?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What have you created that you had hoped would "take off" and be success, yet just hasn't happened yet?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Two Ears, One Mouth...Use Them ALL

When I wrote yesterday's post I was upset...disappointed and upset.

Earlier in the evening I had a telephone conversation with "Joe" about our plans for the night. Unfortunately, the plans got changed at the last minute and I just wasn't happy. As much as I tried to conceal it, Joe reads me like a book, even if we're just talking on the phone, and he sensed my frustration.

I saw him today and he just came out and said, "I know you were upset with me." I wasn't even gonna try to lie...I admitted it, "Yep, I sure was." And I proceeded to tell him why. Not in and angry or belligerent manner...but in a manner that allowed him to actually HEAR

and understand my frustration.

Well...after I explained my point, HE explained his. That changed EVERYTHING, and I was then able to UNDERSTAND why the plans were changed. No, I didn't like that he changed them at the last minute, but I now "get it" and understand why he did.

What this experience taught me (or rather, REINFORCED), was just how important COMMUNICATION is.

Had Joe not mentioned that he knew I was upset, we would've either NEVER mentioned it, OR I would've held it in and stewed over it for way too long. Neither of those are appropriate ways to handle anything.

So once again, I can say, "lesson learned". Every day that I live life seems to teach me something new. Class...is ALWAYS in session.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you hold things in when you're upset, or do you freely share what's on your mind?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Decisions...

Today's post will be short. The picture pretty much says it all anyway. In a nutshell, I looked forward to something ALL day, only to be told that it wasn't gonna happen. I'm tired, frustrated, and need to re-think and re-evaluate

a WHOLE LOTTA STUFF.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time you were disappointed?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Well WHADAYA'KNOW!

I gotta tell ya...I've been on Facebook since 2009 and for the most part, I REALLY enjoy it. I've reconnected with LOTS of my friends from my elementary, middle & high school, along with many co-workers of the past. I'm friends with a few of my church members, and then there's family...LOTS of family.

Yet with all that I "LIKE" about Facebook, there are still some things that make me scratch my head at times.

For instance...those folks who you send a "friend request" to and they NEVER accept it. I have one such person in mind right now. I won't say his name, but I'll gladly give his initials: DC

I went to middle school AND high school with him, and ran into him a few times AFTER we graduated. Thought we were cool. His brother is cool. His cousin is cool. So what's up?

After a while I was like, "Really dude? I'm not trying to "get with you", I'm just re-connecting. That's what we do here on FB. So get over yourself!"

Eventually I canceled the request. Like why would I want to have someone like THAT as a "friend" anyway?!?

Then there are the mysterious "unfriend-ers". Now I've been "unfriended" several times. Three of those times I knew exactly who the folks were and pretty much knew WHY they did it. Two of those three have since "friended me" again.

But recently I noticed that some folks "fell off" and I had no way of know who they were. No biggie. Some folks fall off because they deactivate their accounts. Some fall of because for whatever reason, they decide that they need to clean up their "friends list" and I don't make the cut. I think that's what may have happened with one individual, but for another...I honestly believe that she unfriended me because I'm not "fit". Her life is about fitness and mine simply isn't. Sure, I'd love to be fitter, and weigh less, but I'm also okay with me, "just as I am". Regardless of how I look on the outside, on the INSIDE I am simply STUNNING. I don't think she saw me that way though, and I'm okay with that. She was a pretty cool person and I liked her a lot. Clearly, the feeling wasn't mutual. She was one of those "friends" who I met ON Facebook, we got to know each other, hung out in person a few times, and I THOUGHT we were cool. Again I say...I thought wrong.

Nevertheless, I wish her the best, and if I saw her out on the street one day, I would speak as though things were as I thought they were.

But here's what prompted the post...not so much the "unfriending" but HOW I found out that she unfriended me.

I was on Facebook, scrolling through my feed and she popped up as one of the "People You May Know". I was like, well yeah I know her...we're already "friends". Then I looked for her in my friends list and realized, she's not there anymore. Well WHADAYA'KNOW!

So yeah, that's just one of the many wonders of the "Whacky World of Facebook". It's really like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get...or WHEN you'll be "unfriended".

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever THOUGHT you were "friends" with someone on Facebook, only to realize later that they had "unfriended" you? If so, did you confront them about it, or did you "keep it pushin'"

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The World is a Rainbow

As a native Californian and "Los Angelino", I have always loved the cultural diversity here at home. I've traveled to other parts of the country where that same diversity lacks GREATLY. EVERYONE there looked the SAME, and there was just no "flavor" in anything. And I'm not talking about food, I'm talking about, spice, pizzazz...the stuff that makes people and places interesting. There just wasn't any in those other parts of the country.

But here...

So today at work, one of the guys brought in a sweet bread. At first I wasn't really sure WHAT it was because it didn't look like anything I'd ever had or seen before. So I passed.

Later, he sent out an email letting us know that it was a "special" cake and if we ate some we might get a "surprise".

Hmmm???

At that point I was curious so I went in to get a slice. Before getting a slice we were instructed to READ about the bread first. So...I did.

Turns out that the cake had baby Jesus-es hidden inside and whoever got a slice with a baby Jesus in it had to host a meal or something like that.

Hmmmm...

Did I still want a piece?

I mean, how BIG is this baby Jesus?

What's it made out of?

Will I KNOW if I have one?

And what kind of meal will it have to be if I do?

Well, curiosity got the best of me and I had a slice. Tasted like the regular pan dulce that I get from my local mercado. And I like that.

So I ate my bread, and didn't get a "surprise". I was ok with that.

More than the bread though, I enjoyed hearing my co-workers talk about it. Some were quite serious. Others made me giggle. Either way, I learned something new today. Something that I probably wouldn't have learned in certain other parts of the country.

It left me a bit disappointed though too. As a Black (African-American...whatever we call ourselves) woman, I wish that my culture had more African traditions to celebrate. Most of us here though are so far removed from our African roots, we wouldn't know where to begin with "traditions". With slavery, we were stripped of our language, traditions, and yes...even religion. It saddens me at times to think that if I were to ever travel to Africa, I wouldn't even know which country to call my "home". I have NO IDEA where my African ancestors came from. And that...is a dag-gon shame.

Anywhoo...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is YOUR favorite cultural tradition?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Can a Sistah Get a Little Help?!?

The longer I live, the more fascinated I become with people...what they do...WHY they do (or DON'T do) what they do.

One thing that fascinates me most is the unwillingness of folks to help one another. Often times it's not that people CAN'T help...it's simply that they WON'T.

I am currently trying to help a friend put an event together. I "thought" I had some great "connections" who would assist me in helping my friend. NOPE. I have reached out to FIVE...count them FIVE people so far and have received ZERO response from 3 of them, 1 basically told me to do more research and try to find people who can help, and the other, although she wasn't able to help or point me in the right direction said that she would at LEAST support the cause once I do get everything in order.

Well...none of that has stopped me and tonight I reached out to yet ANOTHER individual, who, in MY mind...has EVERY resource available to help me...so the million dollar question is: Will he?

We'll see.

So...Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever asked folks (who you KNEW could help you) for help, only to be denied or ignored?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Just Push Play...maybe

I was on my way to bed and realized that I had forgotten something VERY important. So here it is...today's post, short and simple.

Have you ever fixed your mouth for something...thought about it ALL day...couldn't wait to get home to eat it, only to find that somebody else got to it first?

Well...that's NOT my story (today), but...I DID record one of the VERY FEW television shows that I like and could hardly wait to get home to watch it. Got home, pulled up the recording, pushed play, and all I got was the show that was CURRENTLY airing. What the...?!? CLEARLY there was an issue, so I reset the DVR and thought I'd try again. It went from bad to worse...NOW the recording is gone COMPLETELY. I called my provider and they were of absolutely NO help. And I can't watch it online because I don't have that kind of internet. Urgh...and DOUBLE Urgh.

Oh well...there are greater issues in life, right?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's your favorite, "can't miss" televisi

on show?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

God's Got Me!

So today is the FIRST Sunday of 2015 and I must say, it's been a good day.

I spent most of it with "Joe" and went to an evening service at one of the local churches to kick my new year off right. Man am I glad I made that decision.

The message tonight was from Psalm 73:1-17 and it was one that I really needed to hear.

It was about the Psalmist being envious of others, specifically those who aren't living a life as "righteous" as his, yet they are being blessed. I was totally able to relate.

I read my Bible daily, pray multiple times a day, forgive those who do me wrong, and just try to live my life in a "Christ-like" manner. Yet, I am STRUGGLING...BIG TIME. I mean STRUGGLING!

Then I look around and see folks who rarely, if EVER go to church, nor do they profess to have any faith in Christ. They may say that they "believe in God", which is good and all, but faith in CHRIST is the way to salvation. But...that's another topic for a different day.

Bottom line...some folks seem to be blessed hand over fist without having any "visible" relationship with God (and/or Christ), and then there are people like me who diligently seek and serve Him, yet never seem to get ahead. I just don't get it.

Well...neither did the Psalmist until verse 17, "Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end."

So the takeaway was that I need to STOP looking "vertically" at what's going on around me with others, and I need to look UP to God. When I keep my focus on God, I won't be so concerned with what others have. Makes sense to me.

So now...Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you often find yourself envious of others? If so, what (if anything) do you to do "snap out of it"?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Surprised?

Last Saturday I got together with friends and we created our 2015 Vision Boards. One of the things that I had on my board was "Book Club". I either wanted to join one or start one. I've always loved reading and I really enjoy discussing what I read, so a book club is perfect.

Well...a few days ago I found a local group that was meeting this evening...so, I went. And I'm glad I did.

Although I didn't read last month's book, I enjoyed hearing the ladies discuss their opinions. Most didn't like it and were very detailed with their reasons why. This I found quite entertaining.

At one point in the group we went around and did introductions. There was a fairly even split between new members like myself and members who've been in the group since the beginning. They were all very welcoming and I felt like I'd been part of the club forever.

When it came time for the founder to introduce herself she said something that always makes my ears perk up when I hear it. She mentioned that she enjoys getting together with these ladies each month because everyone just gets along so well...no "attitudes", no "weave-pulling", just women of color (Black women) who share a love for reading and togetherness.

I thought, "Hmmm...that sounds just like my running group."

We are a group of Black women who enjoy "hitting the pavement" together, yet we also find ourselves together at pretty much any other social event because we just like each other that much. We truly enjoy sharing each other's company. We travel together, attend concerts & plays together, dine together...you name it.

I wondered why it is that Black women always have to explain the fact that we are able to "get along" when I rarely, if ever, hear women of other races make the same statement.

I realize though that this stems from how we are so negatively portrayed on television. If all people see on television are images of Black women raising their voices at one another, stabbing each other in the back, stealing each other's men, and getting into physical altercations, then that is what the world is going to EXPECT of us, and will continue to be surprised when they see different.

So the question is...what needs to be done in order for the Black woman's image to shift from negative, to the true depiction, which is POSITIVE? I mean seriously...I don't know ANY Black women like the ones we see on television. MY friends are EDUCATORS, DOCTORS, WRITERS, ENGINEERS, ENTREPRENEURS, SOCIAL WORKERS, LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS, and so much more.

Anyhoo...I'm glad to now be a part of yet another POSITIVE group of Black women. And no...it's not like I don't see positivity in other races, because truly, my circle of friends is quite the melting pot. Yet there is a unique energy that comes from being around other Black folks (male and/or female...doesn't matter to me), who are doing great things, that I just feed off of.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are YOU in a Book Club? If so, is it diverse, or is it specific to YOUR race?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

In the Beginning...

For the past 10 years or so I have journeyed through my "One Year Bible" which allows me to read the ENTIRE Bible in a year by reading it in "bite-sized pieces".

Some folks have NEVER read the Bible from cover to cover, and others have and said that ONCE was good enough for them. To each his own. Even though I've read the entire Bible a number of times, God shows me something NEW every time. That's because His Word is not stale, stagnant or dead. His Word is ALIVE, so there is ALWAYS something to gain from it.

More than just reading and rushing through the Word each day (which takes of minimum of 20 minutes), I actually STUDY. I always read with a pen nearby because so many questions come up and I like to make note of them. I also like to underline passages as they jump out at me.

I am only 2 days in and my book is already marked up. Sometimes I end up with more questions than answers, and when this happens I rely on the various commentaries that can be found online. If nothing else, they show me that I'm not the first person to have some of questions that I have.

So here's what's jumped out at me and has me scratching my head in just two days:

Genesis 2:18-23 New International Version (NIV)

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

My question was this: Why didn't God make the woman FIRST? Why did He make all of those animals to be the "suitable" when surely, with He being God, knew that only WOMAN would be sufficient? I just don't get it.

Then there was this:

Genesis 3:14 New International Version (NIV)

So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,

“Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.

It made me wonder...how did the serpent get around BEFORE being cursed to crawl on its belly? Did it walk, fly, swim???

And this:

Genesis 3:22 New International Version (NIV)

And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

I said, "Wait a minute! I thought they already ate from the tree!"

This prompted me to go BACK to Genesis 2:9 where I realized that there was a "tree of life" AND "a tree of the knowledge of good and evil" Wow! I'd never even paid attention to that before!!! And this is what I mean by how God will show me something NEW every time I journey through His Word.

Genesis 2:9 New International Version (NIV)

"The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

So there you have it folks. God-willing, I will get through the Bible yet again,and I am excited! Excited about the encouragement that I will receive, the wisdom, the peace, the knowledge, and so much more.

And if you don't believe what I have said about God's Word being "alive" and "fresh", just read what God Himself has to say about it:

Hebrews 4:12 New International Version (NIV)

"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Psalm 119:105 New International Version (NIV)

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."

Romans 10:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

Before I close, I'll ask these questions: How was your 2014? How has your life been? Has it been full of sorrow, heartache, confusion, sadness. Has it lacked joy? Have you searched for answers and still haven't found any?

If your answer to ANY of those questions was not what you wanted it to be, then I encourage you to pick up a One Year Bible and commit to reading it each day. Notice, I didn't say STUDY, as I do...I simply want you to READ. Because even in just READING God's Word, He WILL speak to you and give you what it is that you are lacking.

Let the DIALOGUE: Where do YOU turn when you need answers to life's issues?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Be BLESSED!

WORDS Speak. ACTION Makes Them HEARD.

***My longest post to date. Don't say I didn't warn ya!***

In December of 2012 I sat down at my Judy's kitchen table, listening to Christmas music as she and I created our "2013 Vision Boards". This was the first time that I had ever made one and I loved the finished product. It was filled with Love, Health, Fitness, God, Wealth, the neighborhoods that I want to someday move into (Baldwin Hills, Ladera Heights, Windsor Hills), and a host of POSITIVE affirmations to get my 2013 flowing in the right direction. The board was FANTASTIC. The goals were inspiring. And over the course of the year, I NEVER looked at it. I think it stayed under my bed because I never bought a frame to put it in. Sad...I know. As I look back that board, the ONLY thing I achieved is that I "went Natural" with my hair. On March 1st of 2013, I walked myself into a barbershop, plopped myself in the chair and said, "Take it all off." My hair was cut down to about an eighth of an inch short (if even that long). Since then, this "Natural Hair Journey" has been quite an experience. It grew back very brittle and in July of 2014, I had it ALL cut off again, hoping that with better care, my hair would make a change for the better. I'm pleased to say that it has.

Ok...I digress (as usual). Back to the boards.

So...in December 2013, a group of my friends thought it would be fun for us to make our boards TOGETHER. So we met up and had a cutting-gluing good time. Again, I was pleased with my board and it appears that the running theme was LOVE. I have the word LOVE on my board FIVE times, along with additional phrases like, "LOVE will find you", "Ready for LOVE", "True LOVE", and "LOVEable". Health, Wealth, Joy, Family, Travel and lots of other inspiring stuff made the cut. With my 2014 Vision Board, I'd have to say that LOVE won. LOVE got me through more than I ever imagined I'd go through last year, and because LOVE was so kind to me, it continues to be the dominant force and desire in my board for 2015. I did travel to Atlanta and San Francisco in 2014, so we can check that off the list as well. Now...as fabulous as I found that board to be, would you like to take a guess as to where I kept it? *Insert Jeopardy theme song here*
I'll give you a hint...it was kept right alongside 2013's board.
Yep...under my bed. What a shame!

Now for THIS year.

LOVE made it on the board FIVE times again (would've been SIX but I gave one love to a friend who needed it), along with "LOVEable","Crazy, stupid LOVE", "I am so in LOVE!!!!!!!", "Get more of what you LOVE", and "You can never have too much LOVE". I think those all speak for themselves.

In addition to all of that LOVE, I'm gonna describe the other things on my board and their significance because I think that's important.

I'll start with the center (because the center is MOST important) and then move to the top.

***

God
Pretty self-explanatory, right? God is the center of my life. Without Him I am nothing. Without Him I can do nothing. I NEED Him in EVERYTHING I do. So right there in the center is where I've placed Him.

Now let's go from top to bottom, left to right.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
This is one of my favorite verses of Scripture. Remind me that no matter WHAT I'm facing, God's plans for me are GOOD.

I am so in love!!!!!!!
It's just how I feel. I pray that the feeling will last FOREVER.

Ready, Set, Grow!
I know that there is so much more for me to accomplish, yet I feel "boxed in". And it feels awful. I am ready to break out of the box and move into what God has created me to do. I am so much bigger than the life I am currently living. I'm ready to grow into it.

LOVE.

"The way I see it, every year can be a brand new journey."
Yes indeed! New year, new journey. I'm packed. Let's go!

What's next?
Gotta admit, I'm really curious about this one. I feel that I'm on the edge of some great things happening. Looking forward to finding out what they are.

Psalm 34:1
"I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth."
You have NO idea how many times I recite this verse. It truly is my FAVORITE. It gets me through EVERYTHING. No matter how bad things get sometimes (even now as I am unable to pay my rent), I STILL bless Him. When my Mom left this earthly life 52 days ago, I STILL blessed Him. Why? BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT!!! Ooh wee, don't get me started.

time
I never have enough of it. Everyday I say that I need 8 more hours added to the end, because that's what it'll take for me to do all that needs to be done. I need more time. Yet since I know that 24 hours are all that any of us get each day, I realize that making better use of my time is what REALLY needs to happen. So...I shall work on that this year.

Patience
I want everything NOW. Life doesn't work that way though, and neither does God. So I will continue to "practice patience" (as a good friend once advised me) in 2015.

FOCUS
I am easily bored and distracted. As a result, I finish very little of what I start. My life is filled with loose pieces. Who can use those? Nobody. So I must begin to FINISH what I start. FOCUS and Finish.

Success
I just wanna know what it feels like. I know STRUGGLE all too well. I am ready for SUCCESS! Success with my writing. Success with my career. Success with marriage. Success with friendships. Success with Family. I want it!

Here We Go!
My seatbelt is fastened. I'm ready for the ride.

Family
My kiddos, Lauren, Jordan and Terence are my greatest BLESSINGS. They love the Lord, they love each other, they love their parents, family and friends. They're just all around good people and I am so very thankful to be their Mom. There's also my extended family, and those who aren't even related to my by blood, yet I call "family".

"It's essential to be doing something you really love."
This is MAJOR for me with regard to my career goals. What I love is working with children. What I love is meeting the needs of homeless youth. What I love is reading to children and as a result, watching them develop a love for reading that they didn't have before they met me. Still praying. Still searching for the door to open so that I can FINALLY step into my created PURPOSE.

Hey, I'm Here!
Most of the time I go unnoticed or ignored. Gotta admit, it hurts. And no...I'm not having a "pity party", I'm just stating my truth. In a room full of people, *I* am unseen. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a pretty cool person and have a lot to add to most environments. I just want folks to "SEE" me, and acknowledge my presence more than what's been done in the past.

Finally,
I am so ready to say that word with regard to many areas of my life. So very many.

Save $
I'm tired of living "paycheck to paycheck", and quite honestly it's not even that. I need paycheck & a half to paycheck & and a half to really start seeing a dent in my situation. It's all jacked-up right now, yet nevertheless...I'm still blessed. Just have to be wiser with my money.

Feel Great
This is in regard to my health (I've gained a LOT of weight over the past two years), and just life in general. I don't always FEEL great, but I want to.

In The Right Direction
Seems that I've been moving backward and I am so ready to move FORWARD. Forward is the right direction.

Meal Plan
Weight Loss works when meals are planned. I've done it before so I know that it's true. I've gotta get back to planning if I expect this weight to come off.

Book Club
I enjoy reading yet many times after finishing a book I wish I had someone to discuss it with. Good news...some friends and I are in the process of getting a club up and running. Yay!

Take Steps
Literally AND Figuratively. I've gotta get movin'.

Reaching Financial Goals
As I said before, my finances are jacked up! I need to get them together if I ever expect to have/own anything. Tired of struggling.

Healthy
Need to eat right (80%) and workout (20%)

Choose Happiness
This is just me. I could look around and wallow in all that's gone wrong, but where is the joy in that? That has NEVER been me. In all things...I choose happiness. Life is just better that way

healthier & hotter
Yep. That's what I'm gonna be!

gotta have it
There's so much that I want. So much that I need. I'm not compromising this year.

Yes!
Just being POSITIVE this year.

Results
I'm tired of "saying" what I want and will do. This year I will have the results of what I say I want and will do.

Dream Come True
I have so many dreams/goals. I am believing that they will start coming true.

FREE
I hate living life by a clock and not having time be my own. Seriously, I hate it. So I'll be working toward a life that will allow me to be FREE to do with my time, what *I* want to do with it.

Something to Smile About
I want LOTS of things to smile about, and I want to give others things to smile about. It's all a "give and take."

Positive
Again...that's all that I have room for this year. Positivity.

Marriage
This is what I want. A life-long marriage with the man who wants the same...with ME.

Love

Music
I sing a song EVERYDAY. Music is like medicine for me.

on a Mission
That speaks for itself.

Healthier
Again...already covered this one.

Breakthrough!
I feel like I've been chiseling away at life and I'm ready for the wall to finally break so that I can go through.

Where There's A Will...
There is a Will so I will make a WAY.

Just The Beginning
Like I said, I am ready to live the life that God created for me. So very ready.

$
Money. I just don't have enough. Not trying to be greedy. I just don't have enough. Tired of struggling.

Get Ahead
I am always behind. Seems that I am never able to catch up and breathe. I need to get ahead.

Friendship Never Gets Old
I have friendships that are over 3 decades old, and some that are only months old. I need them all. Every friendship has value to me.

Vacation
I've never been on a REAL vacation. I want to know what it's like to go somewhere for a week (or longer), and just RELAX. Not worry about how much the vacation is costing me...but just RELAX.

Debt Free
I am in debt over my head and the crazy part is, I have NOTHING to show for it. Just a series of bad decisions that have gotten me into the financial mess I'm in. One debt at a time, I'll dig my way out.

"Make Your Voice Heard"
I have often said that I am "misunderstood" and that is the absolute truth. The majority of people just don't "get me". But if they would just STOP sometimes and LISTEN to what I have to say...maybe, just maybe...they'd understand me better.

Loveable
I AM LOVEABLE AND WORTHY OF BEING AND RECEIVING LOVE!!!

You can never have too much love
Some would say this about money, but I wholeheartedly believe this about love. I can never ever ever have too much!

FEARless
Fear has kept me from living. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not being liked. Fear of not being wanted. That's gotta stop. Fear is winning and as a result, I am losing. That has GOT to STOP...NOW!

Renewed
I just want to start over and try again until I get it right.

beautiful
I am beautiful. Regardless of my weight...whether I get bigger than I am now, or smaller...I am ALWAYS beautiful.

Writing
Writing is air for me. When I don't write I feel as though I stop breathing. I have other friends who write and our styles are completely different. That's ok. Occasionally I find myself comparing my writing to theirs. That too will stop. I couldn't write like them if I tried. Our stories are unique...and that's the beauty of writing. The world has room (and a need) for all of our voices.

Workout
I've fallen off terribly. Haven't been to the gym in God knows how long. Haven't walked with my group since September. Haven't put in a workout DVD. And it shows. 33 pounds later...it shows.

More doing.
Talking has gotten me nowhere. Time to put my words into ACTION.

Buying A House
I want something to call My Own...with a backyard for my dog and garden, and a garage. A place where *I* can host a party instead of having to use someone else's home. Won't happen though until I get my finances in order (or win the Lotto).

Love

Invest
I want my money to start working for ME instead of me working for IT. So I will start investing. Small, but it'll be a start.

Inspired
I want to be inspired by others and I want others to be inspired by me.

Powered Up
How will I get powered up? By communicating DAILY with God. He is the source of EVERYTHING for me. But like a lamp on a table...until it is plugged into the wall, it has no power and can not serve it's purpose of giving light. It MUST be plugged in in order to have POWER. I must be plugged into God in order to serve MY purposes.

Blog
Today I am embarking on a new quest titled, "365 Posts in 365 Days". I WILL write EVERYDAY here at The Dialogue Den.

Passionate
I want a relationship that's passionate, and I want to be passionate in all that I do.

Crazy, Stupid Love.
I want this! Who doesn't?!?

Healthy & Happy
I want to be BOTH!

have it all!
I believe I can, and will. I just have to work harder at it than some, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I'm tired of living a mediocre life.

Ready
I am ready to make life happen!

Helpful
This is just who I am. I have the heart of a servant and whenever there is a need, I will fill it if possible. That's just me, and I love that about me.

Love

smile!
My smile lights up a room. You don't have to say it...I know that it does. :-)

Hey Gorgeous!
I simply can not hear those words enough!

Writing
Yes, I have it on the board twice. That's how important it is to me.

Passion Meets Purpose
Once I find a way for these two to come together, I will be UNSTOPPABLE!

Gratitude
I have so much to be thankful for. I just do.

Hope.
No matter how bad things may be at times, I ALWAYS have HOPE (because Christ has given it to me).

Change for the better.
I am not perfect, nor have I ever professed to be. I just want to continue becoming the best person I can possibly be.

READY
There it is again. Yes!

More saving.
Interestingly, I don't spend much. I don't have much to spend. But from what little I do have, I can put some away.

CONFIDENCE
I heard a friend say the other day that "the sexiest thing you can wear is CONFIDENCE." I wanna wear that EVERYDAY!

Faith
My faith in Christ is the glue that holds me together when all else falls apart.

Joy
Joy comes from within, and if handled properly, spills out so that others can see.

FEAR IS NOT AN OPTION
'Nuff said. Next!

STARTING A GREAT NEW JOB
Yes...I started a new job on October 27th, and Yes...I am still searching. It's just not a good fit. None of my previous jobs have been. I want a CAREER. One that matches my purpose. One that will positively change the lives of myself and others. Yes...I am still searching. Grateful, yet searching.

REJUVENATE
Most days I am just tired. I can wake up in the morning and be tired. My life needs major rejuvenation.

YOUR LIFE IS A STORY YOU HAVE LIVED TO TELL.
Not just mine, but YOURS too. I have chosen to tell mine here at The Dialogue Den and when go into further in my autobiography that I will soon write.

LET'S DO THIS.
Tired of talking about it. Time to DO it!

Live in the N.O.W.
I don't live in the past much, yet I do get ahead of myself at times. All that we really have is NOW, so I have to learn how to live in and appreciate "the NOW" better.

INSPIRING!
This is what I strive to be for all who know me.

$
Again...I need more MONEY!

Stay Strong
2014 tried to break me. Depression over my job. Disconnection in friendships. My Mom leaving this earthly life. It was a LOT. A WHOLE LOT. More than most folks can handle. Yet my faith kept me strong. Without my faith, I probably would not have been here today, because quite honestly, there were days when I didn't want to be here anymore. Oh, but thank God for my faith!

Eat Right
Again, successful weight loss is 80% of what I eat and 20% working out. I haven't done either. But I will.

Nature
The Beach is my FAVORITE place to be. My "place of peace". I could stand with my feet in the water ALL day and just let wave after wave crash over me. I also find beauty in snow-covered mountains, or squirrels like "Stanley". All in all, I am a "nature girl" at heart.

Radiant
This is what I want to be. Wherever I am I want to be radiant and bring light, love and joy to the place.

Financial Freedom
Tired of being in debt. Gotta get my financial house order. Right now, it looks like a shack.

LIVE LIFE
I am tired of just "existing". I want to start LIVING.

Hang In There
I heard that a LOT in 2014. Hopefully I won't need to hear it as much in 2015, but it's encouraging in case I do.

Feeling Good
Simple enough.

I Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Beautiful reminder.

LOVE

Get More of What You Love
There's a lot that I love. I simply want more of those things (and people).

With A Meaningful Mission.
This is how I want to live my life.

Mother
Because I love her and I miss her. I wanted to carry her into 2015 with me. My mother...Rebecca.

Save $
You already know.

Beautiful!
Because I am, and need to remind myself OFTEN.

"All we can do is authentically be ourselves."
That's all I know how to do. As I said earlier, a lot of folks don't "get me", but I can't let that change who I am. "Get me" or don't...this is ME, and I think I'm pretty cool with LOTS to offer this world and the people in if (if only they get to know me).

GETTING MARRIED.
I would LOVE to!!!

Water
I simply don't drink enough. Right now it's 2:00 p.m. Guess how much water I've had...ZERO. Haven't had a sip. Gotta do better. WILL do better!

REINVENT YOURSELF
I'm ready to turn the pages and write some new chapters in my book. The old hasn't worked, so it's time to try something new.

NEW ROADS
See comment above.

COLLEGE
I'm going back! Don't know where the money will come from, but I've gotta do it. Not having a degree is holding me back from so many things...namely, the career opportunity that I want. So, as one of my visions stated above, "Where there's a will..." I WILL find a way to go back to college.

Ecclesiastes 4:12
"Though one may be overpowered,two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Life was not meant to be lived alone.

***

So there you have it folks! My 2015 Vision Board. THIS one WILL be framed and hung!

Looking forward to sharing my accomplishments with you all on January 1, 2016.

Wishing you ALL the BEST in this New Year. May God bless us ALL!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's on YOUR Vision Board?

Talk to me!

Til next time...