What Can I Say...and Who Can I Say It To?

Life has been so crazy these past few weeks...THIS week especially. Yes, I know...I just came back from vacation. So how can things be crazy? Believe ME...they are! Just hours after landing back on Cali soil Monday morning, sh!t hit the fan. You know how messy THAT can be.

Times like these are when I really miss having a "Best Friend" to talk to. One that I can tell EVERYTHING to as I used to do when I had a "best friend." I know that I still have friends who are willing to lend an listening ear, but I'm just not at the point where I can tell EVERYTHING...because EVERYTHING includes some pretty crazy "stuff".

Instead, I am left to keep it all to myself, and that's just so uncomfortable. I have no outlet.

As crazy as some of the "stuff" was that I'd been through and done in the past, she never judged me, or threw the "Christian card" in my face (even though some of my choices didn't, and still don't sometimes match up with my faith). Instead, she would just listen and respond with, "Oh D." Even with that though, I never felt judged. I knew that many times her "Oh D" meant, "I can't BELIEVE you did that...or did that AGAIN," but she was always supported ME (maybe not my DECISIONS), but ME in WHATEVER choices I made...good, bad or indifferent. And when the pieces broke, she was there to help me pick them up and piece them back together.

Lately, I have made some choices that would make her hair curl...but I know that even with THESE choices, she'd still just sigh, say "Oh D", and we'd keep it pushin'.

So for now, I guess it's just me & God. I'm certain that I've made HIS hair curl...which isn't anything that I'm proud of...I just know that because He sees ALL...He has SEEN ALL.

In other news...there was a knock at the door tonight...well, more like a call from the front gate. In the past I always knew who it was and automatically pressed the buzzer to open it. Tonight was different. I answered the call, but didn't say anything...nor did whoever was at the gate say anything. About ten seconds passed, I didn't press the buzzer, and finally hung up the phone.

Who was at the gate? I have no idea. Could it have been "Joe?" Maybe. Would I have wanted it to have been "Joe?" Of course. When/if I see or speak to him, I'll be sure to ask. Til then it will remain a mystery.

So...deep breath in...and EXHALE.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have someone you can tell EVERYTHING to? And I don't mean God. I mean an earthly human being. If so, it sure must be nice.

Talk to me!

Til next time...