This Woman's Prayer

Father God,

In the name of Jesus, I come to you before all else to simply say Thank You. Thank You for all that You do and for all that You are.

Now Father God, I am also asking for Your help. Lord, I'm tired. I'm getting discouraged. And it's getting tough for me to hang on.

Lord, You know my heart. You know how greatly I desire to do a good work so that You may be glorified. Lord, I have tried and tried and tried to make things work, yet they continue to fall apart.

Father God, I have asked for WISDOM as Your Word instructs me to do in James 1:5, yet I am still confused. Father God, I feel that I know what you want me to do, yet the move is SO BOLD I'm afraid that if I do it, and this isn't REALLY what You wanted me to do, then I will be in even more of a mess. I trust You enough to make the move, I just need to be sure that I am moving according to Your will, and not mine. My will gets me into trouble. YOUR will is sovereign. Help me to know which way to go.

Lord, I am tired. I have chiseled away for so long and feel as though I've made NO PROGRESS. Friends have tried to help me,yet that has been to no avail. Bless them anyway for their efforts.

Whenever I follow up on an opportunity, after hearing the details I realize that the opportunity is not for me. It's so discouraging and I just don't know what to do.

So I am leaning and depending on You Lord. I have nothing else. I have no ONE else. You Lord are all I have, and You Lord are enough.

Help me PLEASE Lord, help me. Please move in a mighty way as only You can do. And while I am waiting, I will praise You, and Thank You in advance for my breakthrough.

These things I ask, according to Your will, in Jesus' name...amen.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What are YOU praying for today?

Talk to me! And more importantly...talk to God.

Til next time...

What's In A Name?

Every morning I begin my day with a Bible reading. Throughout the Bible are some of the most beautiful names I've ever heard.

In addition to how beautifully the names roll off the tongue, are the meanings that go with each name. Sometimes the meanings were good...other times...not so good. For example, Jerahmeel means, the mercy, or the beloved, of God yet Jobab means sorrowful, hated. Almost makes you wonder why anyone would give their child a name with negative connotations. But that's the way it was back then.

These days children are named after alcoholic beverages, food products, and all kinds of ridiculousness.

Although my name has meaning...(my initials are J D M S which actually represent something), I often wonder what I would have been like, who I would have been, if my mother had gone with her original name for me: Soledad Rose.

I love the sound of that name. I'm just not sure that I love what it means. Yet sometimes I think I'm living out the meaning of THAT name more-so than my actual one.

Soledad means loneliness, solitude, isolation. I find that to be so very fitting when you consider how lonely I have been on this journey called life.

So if my mom had gone with choice number 1, I would be "Loneliness Rose." Sounds so much nicer before the translation, doesn't it?

How 'bout you...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's YOUR name, and does it mean something?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The Prescription is TIME

As I sit in front of this keyboard today, I am trying to find exactly the right word to convey my present state. The first word that comes to mind is FRUSTRATED.

For the past month and some change, I have been diligently seeking employment. Meaningful employment.

At the advice of my doctors, I have had to step away from my current position because (as they both agreed), it was "killing me". I had become someone I no longer recognized. Perhaps not so much in physical appearance (although I did gain 26 pounds in the period of ONE year), but more-so in my emotional and mental state.

Although I would go into the office each day, "put on a happy face" and "dial for dollars" which is my job function...with every call I made I felt that I died just a little bit inside. I was a square peg being forced into a round hole. We all know that it will NEVER fit.

I did it for as long as I could until I simply couldn't do it any longer. I was breaking. No. I was broken, and no good to anyone, especially myself.

So I've been away and have been searching for new employment DAILY. Although my primary focus has been toward companies that offer social services to folks in need...I have also applied for Customer Service and Account Management positions. ALL of which I am extremely qualified. Anything but cold-calling/telemarketing...anything but that.

Some people may say, "Oh, just take some medication and that'll make you feel better and give you a different outlook on the situation." My response to that is this: I don't need any mind-altering drugs to help me cope with my situation. The prescription for this situation is TIME. Time away.

So while I've been away I've been searching, and searching, and searching...

Last week I spoke with a friend who basically told me that I need to "suck it up and go back to work". I know that from the outside looking in that sounds like a simple thing to do. But from the inside out, I know that if I go back, nothing will have changed, and I could possibly end up worse than when I left. This is the main reason why so very few people actually know what I'm going through. And I mean VERY few...like maybe ONE person...MAYBE. Like I've said before...unlike other folks who share practically every waking moment and experience with the world...that's just not my thing. The world has its own problems, so why add mine? As we see from the experience that I mentioned above...when I DO open up and share, those are the responses that I get. As if I weren't feeling bad enough...that surely didn't help.

Unfortunately though, I'm getting to the point where I am going to HAVE to ask for help. This is becoming overwhelming and I NEED to get back to work. I WANT to get back to work. Contrary to what some may believe...this has NOT been a vacation. It has been FAR FROM a vacation. On vacation, one is not trying to figure out the next career move. On vacation, one pretty much spends freely, not being concerned with how the rent will be paid in 4 days. On vacation, one gets rest. No folks...this is FAR FROM a vacation. Truth be told...I have NEVER EVER been on a vacation...EVER!

So...although I often feel that I am simply writing for the walls and that nobody is actually reading my blog (most certainly no one ever COMMENTS), I am going to take a bit of a leap and post my skills here. Then I will pray that the right person will happen upon it and either say, "I've been looking for someone like this" OR, "I know someone who's looking for someone like this." In a nutshell...I NEED HELP!!!

CONTRIBUTION STATEMENT
I am a creative thinking solutions provider who thrives on serving the needs of others. My positive demeanor boosts morale in any environment. With several years of successful professional experience, along with my desire to make a positively impactful contribution to my employer and its clientele, I will be a superb addition to your organization.

SKILLS
• Several years of experience in customer service/sales roles
• Excellent interpersonal, written and oral communication skills
• Outstanding telephone skills and the ability to work in a fast paced and dynamic work setting
• Strong work ethic and self-starter, able to effectively manage multiple priorities and adapt to change
• Friendly attitude and able to quickly develop

rapport with internal and external customers
• Experience with Microsoft Office Suite and internet savvy


Times like this are when a HUG sure would help. A hug from someone (preferably a HUSBAND) who would just hold me and say that everything is going to be okay. There is so much healing in a hug and I can't remember the last time I had one. So for now, I will continue to be strong, hold back the tears that I so greatly wish to shed, and will press forward...as I always do.

In spite of my frustration, I continue to hold on to God's Word and His promises. I know that He will come through for me in His own time. It would just be nice if His time matched mine. But that's not how faith works. God is not on MY schedule...I am on His. As difficult as this is for me, I know that NOTHING is too hard for God. In that, I find comfort, hope and peace.

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you know anyone in the Los Angeles area who's hiring IMMEDIATELY? If so, please pass on a good word for me...PLEASE, and THANK YOU.

I'm interested in the following:
Account Manager
Customer Service
Sales Support Representative
Inside Sales Rep (NO Cold Calling!)
Member Support Representative
Writer
Personal Assistant

Talk to me (PLEASE talk to me)!

Til next time...

The Eternality of Our Words

The longer I live the more observant I become. One thing that I've observed a lot lately is how ANGRY people are. I mean almost ALWAYS angry at SOMETHING. And with the advances in technology, by way of social media, folks are now able to pull others into what I call their, "lair of anger." It's really quite sad when you think about it.

Here's what I mean.

I am a daily Facebook user. I love logging in and seeing what's going on in the lives of my friends. I'm usually scrolling along, enjoying the posts and THEN...there it is...someone's angry rant. Honestly, I can typically tell by the first two or three words where the post is going and I scroll right past. I don't stop to read the comments, I don't notice how many "likes" the angry rant got...I just scroll right past. Seriously, why would I want to let that anger occupy a space in my mind. Even if it's not MY anger...once I read it..."it's in there."

I've often thought of "unfollowing" the "regular angry rant offenders", but the problem with that is that I will then miss their other "non-angry" posts too. So...I'll just keep scrolling past the anger as I've been doing.

I guess I have a hard time understanding it because I'm not wired that way. When I'm angry, the LAST place I go is Facebook. Partly because (A) NOBODY CARES, and (B) the world has enough anger in it...why would I want to add to that? I wouldn't!

I've often said, "Negativity will suck you in like a vacuum". With the spread of social media, that comment has become exponentially more true. If you want to see the "mob mentality" in action, just pull up someone's angry post, and watch all the angry comments that follow. I don't want any part of that.

Mind you, I don't expect EVERY post to be flowers and butterflies all the time...that's not natural. Life has its angry moments. I just wish sometimes that people would think of their social media profiles as the LEGACY that they will leave behind when they die.

When folks are scrolling through your profile after you die, what do you want them to see? How do you want them to remember you?

Me...I want to be remembered for my LOVE, HUMOR, POSITIVITY, FAITH...and any other GOOD thing.

Does this mean that I NEVER get angry? NO! I am an imperfect human, so of course I get angry. However, I am also a very private person and don't choose to share EVERY angry emotion with the world.

The road that I have chosen to take is that of ENCOURAGEMENT, UPLIFTING, POSITIVITY...those are things that the world needs more of. Interestingly, those things don't get nearly as many "comments" and "likes" as the anger does, and I'm cool with that.

Oh, and another thing about angry rants is this...that ANGER (whether one chooses to admit it or not) will eat a person up. Truly, it will.

I may not be the healthiest person in the world, but I'll tell you this...because of my FAITH, I can remain CALM in the face of adversity, and LOVE those who don't like me (praying for them and wishing them well...as Jesus has commanded). I don't have, nor have ever had high blood pressure, and I've had many many people compliment me on my ability to bring calm into a room, without doing anything but being myself. You see...I have chosen to be the THERMOSTAT and NOT the THERMOMETER.

The difference, you ask?

A THERMOSTAT determines what the temperature will be.
A THERMOMETER reflects the temperature.

So my question to you is this...Let the DIALOGUE begin: Which are you, a THERMOSTAT or a THERMOMETER?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Hello!

I may be by myself in this one but, I am a firm believer that an email beats a text message, and a phone call beats a text, and face-to-face conversations beat EVERYTHING.

In this age of technology it seems that face-to-face conversations and phone calls are quickly becoming things of the past.

You see, face-to-face and voice conversations reflect ones TRUE emotions, and these days, no one wants to show their true selves anymore. So instead, they opt for the "power" behind the keyboard. I think that's lame!

Although I admit that I will write a letter quick, fast, & in a hurry...but that's because my experience has been that people don't HEAR me, nor take the TIME to HEAR me when I am actually SPEAKING to them. My experience has been that people tend to be so defensive that, instead of HEARING what I have to say...they are mentally formulating their argumentative comeback...so my words end up being LOST completely. I have had this happen waaay too many times in my life, and for that reason...I write letters which is the ONLY way that I can get my thoughts out completely, and uninterrupted. THEN...the person can respond, either by calling or writing back. But at least I've been HEARD.

Anyhoo...I said that to say this.

Within the past week I have received two very special phone calls from two very special men. I'm not romantically involved with either of them, they're actually both in relationships with women that appear to be making them happy...and that makes me happy. They are simply really good friends and I am so blessed to have them in my life.

Interestingly, one shares my faith, so he's always filled with encouragement...spiritually and otherwise, which I always appreciate.

The other can't quite get with all of the "restrictions" that seem to come with Christianity, so although we don't share the same faith completely, he fully respects that I believe what I believe.

So...they both called...one last Tuesday (the day after my birthday), and the other yesterday. Both asked how I was...not in the customary, "How are you doing?" way, but in the genuine, "How are you doing...really?" way. To one, I told the truth. To the other, I chose to change the subject. He pried for a bit because he realized what I was doing, and then he said, "Ok. If you don't wanna tell me what's going on, I'll stop asking." He knows me well enough to know that when I'm ready, I'll talk, but until then...well.

Either way...it was sooo refreshing to speak to them. In my conversations I got what I so greatly crave and desire pretty much daily...MALE COMPANIONSHIP. I mean, even though they weren't physically present...for those brief moments in time with each of them, I had a man's ear, and a man had mine.

Now I have tons of "sister-friends" who I can call anytime, and if I can't get 'em on the phone I have other ways to reach them. So, female companionship, shoulders to lean on, listening ears...YES...I have that in them and I am grateful.

Yet there's just a different dynamic when the conversation is with a man. That's what I miss...that male/female dynamic.

So anyway...as I always say...it doesn't take much to make this girl happy. Something as simple as a phone call from two of my very special male friends has put a smile on my face for however long it'll last.

Sister-friends are GREAT...yet EVERY woman needs A FEW GOOD MEN in her life to make her feel just a little extra special. I'm still praying for that one GREAT man, whom God will send to me in the form of my HUSBAND (whoever, and wherever he may be), and in the meantime I will thank Him for the good male friends who are here already. I truly thank Him for them.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: To all the LADIES out there...do you have any male friends (not relatives) who you are close to and confide in, but are not romantically involved with?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Mutual Friends

Today's post is a bit of a tough one for me to write, but it's been a long time coming...like 33 years coming.

I'm not even sure how this post is gonna end. I'm just going to let the words flow from my fingertips and let the emotions fall where they may.

The year was 1980. I was in the 6th grade and my best friend (or at least one of them) was Nadine. We sat next to each other in class and I'd spend the night at her house often. We had lots of fun together. She doesn't even know this, but she introduced me to the movie that would become my all time favorite.

The day was a Friday and we were asking each other about weekend plans. She told me that she was going to see a movie. I asked her which one and she replied with, "Fang". I hadn't heard of it. Then she said, "No, not FaNG...FaME." Ohhh.

I'm not sure if we saw it together, but I do know that I saw it because I fell in love with that movie. In my mind...I WAS Coco Hernandez...and I wanted to go to that school. To this day, if FAME comes on TV, I drop EVERYTHING and watch...while singing along LOUDLY, of course.

The school year came to an end and we culminated to middle school. We were still friends, but what I didn't realize was that with a new school comes new FRIENDS. So, our circle grew as new friends were added.

By the time we entered 8th grade, things began to change. Things I didn't like. What seemed to be my "growing" circle of friends was actually shrinking, and I was very subtly pushed out of the circle. Nadine was no longer MY best friend, and instead had become very close with Olivia. I was actually pretty close to Olivia too. But Nadine and Olivia...they did EVERYTHING together. Pretty soon, I was no longer hanging out with either one. They didn't want me or my friendship anymore...or at least that's how it appeared.

I remember when Olivia got mad at her parents for not letting her go to a concert and she ended up running away from home. Everybody was looking for her. Nadine was the one who found her. Olivia went through a really "weird" phase after that...(and I mean REALLY weird...like SPIRITUALLY weird), and little by little our relationship became pretty much non-existent.

The next year we graduated from middle school and the three of us went to separate high schools. Nadine and Olivia stayed close though.

Thanks to the creation of Facebook, in our adult years we've been able to reconnect. Through our re-connection I'm beginning to realize that although it hurt me back then to be "thrown aside", "discarded", "kicked to the curb"...I sometimes think that it was probably best for me, and God, of course, knew that.

The spiritual paths that we've taken have been quite different. I am a follower of Christ and I will shout it from the mountain tops ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Nadine doesn't believe in Christ AT ALL, and feels that people like me are enslaved and don't think for ourselves. Olivia was once a Christian yet today, I'm not so sure. She kinda borders on "New Age" and Christianity...but it's really really hard to tell. From what I understand, she took a trip to an impoverished country a while back and "lost Jesus" while she was there.

Now I've said all that to say this...I don't like "sharing" my friends. Maybe it stemmed from those experiences back in middle school...who knows? That may also be part of the reason why I have my friends "hidden" on Facebook. I don't need people going through my friend's list and then "friending" my friends. I like keeping that private. Interestingly, I have some FANTASTIC Facebook friends, and I'm in some of the BEST "secret" groups on FB. I love that they're secret because that keeps folks from scouting them out and then next thing you know...all of a sudden, they're friends with someone who you KNOW only knows them through you. By the way...those groups are nothing that I'd be embarrassed to tell anyone about, they're simply groups where grown folks can openly and maturely share what's going in in their live, without all the immature drama that's found in most other FB groups.

As technology continues to make advancements, it's inevitable that new connections will continue to grow from "mutual" ones, and maybe by that time I will be more at ease with it. Right now though, I like to keep "this group" over here and "that group" over there and keep them as separate as I can, for as long as I can. That's just me though. Maybe I'm being selfish, but it is what it is.

Oh, and there's also a weirdness about Facebook friends (or should I say POTENTIAL friends) that I have YET to understand. Months ago (maybe even years), I sent a "friend request" to someone I went to middle school AND high school with. I even saw him a few years back at a restaurant and we had a great conversation. We have over 50 "mutual friends" and I'm even friends with his brother and cousin. We have well over 50 "mutual friends". All this and he never responded to my request. He's always been a bit "boozhy" so I guess it makes sense. Until...I saw that he was friends another friend of mine and this has only happened recently...like within the last six months. What's up with that?!? No biggie though. It's not a popularity contest (at least for me it's not), and the LAST thing I'm about to do is go BEGGIN' for friends...especially people who snub their noses at my request, like I'm not good enough for them to be friends with. It's his loss though. My Facebook posts are positive, encouraging, uplifting, funny and most folks enjoy them. Unless he sends ME a request one day, he'll just never know.

Phew...that felt good! Clearly, I needed to get that out.

Now it's YOUR turn. Let the DIALOGUE begin: If you're on Facebook, do you have your friends hidden, or do you not care if your friends start "friending" other friends?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Do I?

I'm not much of a TV viewer and don't have much interest at all in today's "reality shows", but one new show has managed to grab my attention.

Can you guess which one?

I'll tell you which one it's not...it's not one of those "ratchet" housewives shows. I simply can not stomach all of the hatred and mean-spiritedness that takes place on those.

No...the show that I've tuned into is all about LOVE...or love EVENTUALLY.

Somehow, I happened upon the new show "Married at First Sight." I've gotta tell you, my feelings were quite ambivalent. At first I thought, "They are making a mockery of marriage." Especially when I found out that although these 3 couples are getting legally married to an individual who they meet ON their wedding day, AT the alter, after 30 days they will get to decide if they want to STAY married.

That bothered me.

Marriage is not, and should not be a "trial run". Don't say, "Til death do us part" if you don't mean it.

As the show progressed, I found myself rooting for these couples. One, seemed to hit it off pretty well so I wasn't too worried about them. The other, was a bit apprehensive...at least on the wife's part. And the third couple...oh my goodness! The wife could not have been more visible about her disgust with the man she had just MARRIED. I found her to be quite rude. I mean really...SHE should have just NOT said "I do" at the alter.

Later in the show, as I watched the receptions, I started think that maybe this isn't such a bad thing. I mean afterall, the divorce rate today is what, 50% (or so)? And that's with individuals choosing for themselves who they will marry. Clearly, they're not choosing very well.

So maybe having an outside source choose one's spouse, based on questionnaires, personality matching and stuff like that...maybe, just maybe...THESE marriages stand a better chance. Who knows? We'll have to tune in next week to find out.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Would YOU ever consider marrying someone at first sight?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Next!

Well folks, I did it!

Today marks the last day of my 21 Day Writing Challenge. How exciting! I've covered a lot of ground.

I've never written for 21 consecutive days in the 4+ years that The Dialogue Den has been in existence. So for me...this is a MAJOR accomplishment.

Even though my blog hasn't gained quite the following that I had hoped at the time of its creation, it's still mine, and I still love writing. Most would have quit long ago.

Although I may have had periods of inconsistency, I've NEVER quit. Quitting my blog would equate to quitting on myself. I love myself (and my readers...I know I have readers...I just know I do!) too much to do that, so I won't.

So...21 Days! It's been said that it takes 21 days to form a habit (good or bad). I'm sure that there's some validity to that. I mean, there were some days when 11:00 p.m. would roll around and I had to scramble to get to the computer so that I could complete that day's post. I felt that if I had missed one I would've had to start all over. So...I made sure not to miss.

Now, I'm wondering what I should do for another 21 day stretch. Let's see:

I could do Zumba everyday.
I could take a one mile walk everyday.
I could read for 21 minutes everyday.

So many possibilities! I'll definitely be giving this some thought. While I'm thinking, wha'da'ya'say we celebrate? I would love it if you would tell ALL of your friends about The Dialogue Den. As I've said before, it's not a political blog, not a spiritual blog, not a parenting blog, yet at times it could be any and all of that. In a nuthell, the blog is ME sharing my random thoughts with YOU, in an effort to get some DIALOGUE going. So spread the word and "LIKE" The Dialogue Den page on Facebook. Please and Thank you.


Now...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever committed to doing something for 21 days? If so, what was it, and did you stick to it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 21/21!!!)

Bacon and Burgers and Wings...Oh My!

Today is the first day of my one year "pescatarian journey."

Yesterday was my birthday and I decided to make a lifestyle change. For the next year, I will not eat Beef, Chicken, Pork or Turkey. I will only eat fish, crab, shrimp, and the occasional lobster.

Can I do it? Of course I can. I once gave up soda for a year, so I'm sure that I can give up eating ground-walking animals as well.

I only eat beef about 4 times a year, so I'm sure that I won't miss that.

I do love bacon, although I only have that about six times a year, so I won't miss it either.

I eat chicken and turkey...a LOT, so those, I'll miss...but it's only a year, so I'll be fine.

So that's it for now because I'm really tired. Gonna keep this one short and sweet.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever given up eating meat? If so, for how long?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 20/21)

Seven Fourteen

So today is my birthday and what a great day it has been!

My day began with prayer, thanking God for another year of life, then I headed to the docks to make my way to Catalina.

It was great, especially because the trip was FREE! Yes, Catalina Express offers a FREE roundtrip ride to Catalina if you go ON your birthday. So...off I went.

I did quite a bit.

Arrived at about 9:00 and I went to breakfast.

After breakfast I took a scenic tour that included lots of interesting facts about Catalina. If you ever go, I would recommend it.

After the scenic tour, I hopped on a semi-submerged boat where I got to see fish up close and personal...right outside my sub window. It was pretty cool!

Then, I headed over to get my FREE birthday scoop of ice cream.

Then headed back home where I proceeded to get my annual birthday bundt cake, and then to my favorit spot for mariscos.
Yes, it was a pretty full day. And...I gave away another one of my "blessing boxes". That really made me happy.

I gotta say...I love my birthdate...July 14th.

Just to give you some "fun facts" about me...I was born on the 14th day of the 7th month at 1421 hours. So as you can see...I am surrounded by sevens. Not that I'm into numbers (because I'm not), I just think it's kinda cool.

Oh, and my nighttime radio host played my song request and wished me a happy birthday on the radio.

In the words of Ice Cube, "Today was a good day."

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is you best birthday memory?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 19/21)

Now Throw Your Hands in the Air!

Oh my goodness! What a day this has been!

So my birthday is tomorrow (unless you're on the East coast which means that you are already 52 minutes into MY day), and this morning I celebrated with my friends Judy and Wendy. We went to go hear my FAVORITE band DW3. These guys are FANTASTIC! Today marks the 5th time that I've seen them perform since last December.

Here are a few things that I love about them:

1. They can SANG! That's the urban version of "they sing very well."
2. They sing a great variety of songs like old-skool R&B, new R&B (only the good stuff though), and when they perform in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, they throw in a few Latin hits.
3. They are so "down to earth". They don't walk around with their noses up in the air. They actually engage with the audience and today I even got to take pics with two of the band members, Damon Reel (one of the lead vocalists) and Rick Marcel (the mean guitar player...and I mean mean as in...he can play your socks of with that guitar mean).

So we sang, danced in our seats (because the venue where we were doesn't really allow actual dancing), and just had a GRAND ol' time!

If you've never heard these dudes perform, I say, "What are you waiting for?!? GO!!!" I'm including the link to their website so that you can see for yourself what all the hype is about. You'll thank me later. ;-)

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a favorite band whose performances you just HAVE to go see when they're in your town?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

http://www.dw3soul.com/

(Day 18/21)

The Moon tonight was SUPER!

Tonight we had a "Supermoon" so I thought I'd write about it.

I've always loved the moon. It seems so much less harmful than the sun. I mean, think about it. One can stare at the moon ALL night, with the bare naked eye and have no damage done. The sun...don't even think about it. Stare directly at that bad boy and you're toast.

But the moon...love it.

It's kinda of interesting, but surely no coincidence that I love the moon and the ocean. And my goodness...let me be at the beach on the night of a full moon...that's the perfect combo.

Although I don't believe in astrology (because I believe in He who CREATED the stars...not in the stars themselves), I do find some of the information accurate and interesting. For example, based on my date of birth I am what's called a "Moonchild". Here are some "Moonchild facts" taken from Astrology.com (http://www.astrology.com/cancer-sun-sign-zodiac-signs/2-d-d-66919):

"Cancer
June 22 - July 22

Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is all about home. Those born under this sign are 'roots' kinds of people, and take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family. Cancers are maternal, domestic and love to nurture others. More than likely, their family will be large, too -- the more, the merrier! Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious. Traditions are upheld with great zest in a Cancer's household, since these folks prize family history and love communal activities. They also tend to be patriotic, waving the flag whenever possible. A Cancer's good memory is the basis for stories told around the dinner table, and don't be surprised if these folks get emotional about things. Those born under this sign wear their heart on their sleeve, which is just fine by them.

The mascot of Cancer is the Crab, and much like this shelled little critter, Cancers are quick to retreat into their shells if it suits their mood. No wonder these folks are called crabby! For Cancer, it's not that big of a deal, though, since they consider this 'shell' a second home (and they do love home). The flip side of this hiding is that shell-bound Crabs are often quite moody. Further, in keeping with their difficulty in sharing their innermost feelings, it can become a Herculean task to pry a Crab out of its secret hiding place. What to do? Give the Crab time -- eventually these folks will come out to play again. When they do, they'll be the first to say so, in keeping with the Cardinal Quality attached to this sign. It's said that Crabs are first to laugh and first to cry, so you can bet they'll fill you in. That shell, by the way, isn't the only tough thing about Crabs. These folks are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn't do the trick, however, they're not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn't work, they'll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive. That said, any self-respecting Crab would tell you that they are ultimately motivated by protecting their home and loved ones, a most noble goal.

Cancers are ruled by the Moon -- the Great Mother of the heavens in ancient times. Here on Earth, this is manifested in the Crab's maternal instincts and desire to protect home and hearth. This may appear smothering at times, but that's the Crab for you. The Moon is associated with fertility, too, a quality that is most pleasing to Cancers. The Moon is also the ruler of moods, and Cancers have plenty of those. These folks can cry you a river if they're so inclined, and they usually are. They can be overly sensitive, easily hurt and prone to brooding. Even so, Crabs find it easy to be sympathetic to others and are quick to show their affection. Their intuition is also a great help to them, especially in times of stress.

The element associated with Cancer is Water. Like the rolling waves of the sea, the Crab's emotions can make quite a splash. These folks tend to pick up on things and bring them in, with the outward result ranging from sentimentality to possessiveness. Crabs need to resist the temptation to become selfish or to feel sorry for themselves, since this behavior won't help. On the bright side, Cancers are good with money (although some consider them too thrifty), probably because they value a sense of security. Crabs are also quick to help others and tend to avoid confrontation. In keeping with their nurturing bent, those born under this sign are a whiz with food. A hearty picnic in the park is heaven-on-earth to most Crabs.

Cancers often find that a robust workout session is just the tonic for their touchy feelings. Team sports are always nice, since they offer a sense of community; water polo should be elemental to aquatic Crabs. What are their team colors? The Moon is silver and white. Since Cancers have a tendency to be lazy, however, they may need someone to push them out the door. When it comes to the game of love, eager Crabs are devoted, romantic and able to get things going on their own. Crabs are wise to listen to their gut, since this sign rules the stomach.

The great strength of the Cancer-born is the tenacity with which they protect their loved ones. These folks don't ask for much, either: a comfortable home and sense of peace about sums it up. It's that nurturing instinct which makes Cancers a pleasure to be with."

Yep. That about sums me up. Again...I am fascinated by the accuracy yet at the beginning and end of the day, I believe in my Lord Jesus, Creator of ALL. (John 1:3, Colossians 1:16)

Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU stepped outside and looked at the moon?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 17/21)

Seven Day Stay

So a few weeks ago I posted the following on Facebook:

If you had a friend who needed a place to stay for just SEVEN days (wouldn't be able to pay you anything though), would you allow them to stay with you?

*The friend is a good person, not a drug user or drinker. Recently out of work (but unable to collect unemployment), and diligently seeking employment.

I was saddened my some of the comments but encouraged by many others. What my friends didn't realize when I posted this was that I was the friend that I was referring to. Although I am not in that situation at this time, due to my current financial situation, I very well may end up there. So I was checking out my options. If nothing else, I now know WHO I can ask in a time of need and who NOT to ask. For the sake of anonymity I have only used initials. Here were the responses:


"(I): Friends have stayed with me off and on through the years, it can get tricky. I'd want to know what their plan is for the 8th day and what (not if) they will be contributing while there (cooking/cleaning/etc).
9 hours ago · Like · 1

(A): No. Sorry... But there is a law in California that once a person has stayed with you for a certain period of time they have as much right to remain in your home (if not more) as you...

I would also look from the perspective that if someone says 7 days, that means 37.
9 hours ago · Like · 1

(C): I have had friends and family stay with me over the years. Never been in the no money to contribute situation. Just know 7 days could be 6 months! Hopefully this person can feed themselves. Can you afford the utilities that are going to increase? Give it some thought. Where are their family members!
9 hours ago · Like · 2


(G): I'm curious. Where is the person staying now and why can't they stay there for 7 more days?
8 hours ago · Like · 1

(S): I would do it. Praying that someone would do the same for me. With that said, I would do what Iris suggested. Maybe a contract?!?!
8 hours ago · Like · 2

(S): Good question.(G).
8 hours ago · Like

(G1): Honestly? No. Because they will get to comfortable and when you tell them they can't stay any longer then suggested. Then you become the bad friend and lose a friendship over it.
8 hours ago · Like · 1

(A): I agree, G1... not to mention a rental contract is useless... You still have to go through the eviction process if and WHEN things do not go right.
8 hours ago · Like · 1

(ME): In this particular case, SEVEN days means SEVEN days. The person is not trying to be a burden on anyone, so she'd hardly ever be at your home. Just there at night for a place to sleep and shower. She'd find a way to feed herself so that she's not eating your food. On the 8th day, she'd move to the next willing friend's home. And again, all the while very diligently seeking employment so that she can get back to being self-sufficient. She only has one set of family that she could stay with, but would only stay for SEVEN days. If she needed to sign a contract stating that she will leave in SEVEN days, she would gladly do that.
8 hours ago · Like

(A): Chile, all I can say is do it with caution. The next willing person is not guaranteed and once you let the person in you have to do it with zero qualms and knowing this COULD possibly turn into something that is long term.
8 hours ago · Like · 3

Remove
Glenna McDaniel Would do and I have done it for longer periods. Just set ground rules and make sure you both understand the situation. Plus be sure you know them to be someone who keeps their word.
8 hours ago · Like · 4

(C1): I would have to agree with (A)comment .I see this everyday where the kindness of someone's heart is taken advantage of and it ends with law enforcement having to get involved and legal assistance to get them out Just food for thought.
8 hours ago · Like

(S): I did it and had a positive experience. You just have to follow your heart.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 5

(T): I agree with almost everything thats written here. I'd just remember that life never really follows the exact road that WE plan, so her intentions may be to move out in 7 days, but so much can happen within those 7 days which could prevent that. Nothing malicious, like trying to claim ownership on your place...just the norm - a job falling through, an apt not quite ready, illness, etc. I'd just expect the worst while hoping for the best. I'd do it because of what Sharon mentioned as well - it could be anyone of us in that situation. Good luck!
8 hours ago · Like · 3

(G1): There are shelters they can stay long term!! I would not put myself in a situation that is so uncomfortable for the ones that take me in. Because people talk and I wouldn't want to be the one to be talked about!! Three days is even to long!! Contract or not, go with family and don't be a burden to someone else.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like

(ME): (G), she has her own place now but doesn't know how long that will last with no income coming in.
8 hours ago · Like · 1

(G): If she's a good friend and you trust her, I say go for it.
8 hours ago · Like · 4

(G1): Just remember, you asked and we all warned you. Don't want to hear later that you should have taken our advise because then it's too late.
8 hours ago · Like

(P): For as long as I can help them. My door is always open to those in need. If you come in in the middle of the night and I find you on my couch in the morning. Breakfast duty is on you. Giggles.
8 hours ago · Like · 5

(P) Oh Lawd. I just read 1 comment. I swear none of my friends better not let me know they went to some shelter. I'd go get them and give them a tongue lashing. Don't do that. As long as I have a roof over my head. ... so do you. And I don't care if it's uncomfortable. Key word is (friend) though.
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 5

(D): You must have "THE TALK"
8 hours ago · Edited · Like · 2

(K): That friend is not leaving in 7 days...believe that.
7 hours ago · Like · 1

(E): I can tell from the comments here which people I would want as friends. Not judging or anything. I never find myself in need. But any true friend of mine is welcome in my place. I needed a place to stay in the bay area for a conference and something fell thru. I got the phone number of a distant cousin who put me up and treated me like she knew me all her life, and I had never met her. I use her as an example. Well, her and Jesus, right?
7 hours ago · Like · 14

(P): Amen (E).
7 hours ago · Like · 2

(M): Sure! What are friends for... 7 days...even 14 days...won't break the bank!
7 hours ago · Like · 3

(G1): Well if (J) needs a place to stay, I suppose I would let her stay as well!! Lmao
7 hours ago · Like · 1

(M): Yes, I would accommodate a "friend" of mine during their time of need.
7 hours ago · Like · 2

(J): um... what did i just walk into?!?
7 hours ago · Like · 1

(M1): Yes and I've done it before and have been on the receiving end
7 hours ago · Like · 2

(D1): Yes cause I'm sure she will contribute something to the house cleaning it up cooking for you if you're at work running errands if you needed it I'm sure this person would definitely make it a point if you do for her she'll do for you or if you do for him he'll do for you
7 hours ago · Like · 2

(M1): (G1) your kinda mean. I get the things you said but come on . Life happens if this person ends up needing more than 7 days is that such a bad thing? From the information the person is looking for work the person seem to be a decent person down on their luck. Obviously there should be a time limit but helping someone in need especially a friend of yours should come with open arms otherwise what the point of having friends? What if it was you??? I'm just saying
7 hours ago · Like · 3

(M): I pray I'll never be in that position, but I hope that my family and friends will have a sofa and a blanket and pillow for me if I ever needed them! I did have to move back in with my parents after a layoff and a new baby, then again after another new baby and becoming chronically Ill. And both times it was longer than either of us had planned, and difficult at times....but it wasn't for forever and we made the best of the time together.
I bought a house with a bedroom and bathroom downstairs, because I thought my mom was going to move in with me at the time. She didn't move in and this extra space has become a place of refuge quite a few times. And it hasn't always been easy, but you make things work...it cost a little extra having another person in the house, but you compromise with maybe yard work or help with the garage...or just being in a place of being a blessing to someone in need...God sees if no one else does ...and He will honor your sacrifice and He will ultimately repay your kindness!
7 hours ago · Edited · Like · 3

(D): I have been on both ends as well and I remember having THE TALK both times! As long as there is an understanding of the arrangement!
7 hours ago · Like · 1

(G1) M1, actually a friend took advantage of my kindness. Since then I said never again but I do help if I can with money, food and clothes. It's an awful feeling when you have to tell the friend, it's time to leave. It hurts bad, but it's either my family or friends and we all know that family is first.
7 hours ago · Like · 1

(L): I know that I would help them because lord knows I would not want to be that position and if I was, I would really hope that my friends and family would be there for me in my time of need. I've allowed several family members to stay with me when they needed it and yes one stayed a year longer than they said (it was suppose to be 4 months and it was 16 months) but you know what I would do it again in a heartbeat. Everyone has hard times and we need assistance and to think we won't is really not a good idea. Things happen in life that we can not control and no matter how well you think you are prepared you can not be prepared for everything that happens in life. My sofa is always there if someone needs it...
7 hours ago · Like · 5

(G1): Thanks M, sometimes there are decisions that are hard to make.
7 hours ago · Like

(M1): G1 some friends are family right? Family isn't always blood. I am sorry someone took advantage of you but don't give out hope that there still good people out there. Again I get what you said. Just don't make it seems everyone will do the same to take advantage of people. I have to believe that there still good people in the world who do things because it's the right thing to do.
7 hours ago · Like · 4

(M2): Yes, but only after consulting with a landlord/tenant attorney and getting the length of stay and circumstances in writing. I've heard too many horror stories.
7 hours ago · Like

(G1): Sorry if I sounded mean, I really am not. I guess I was speaking based on my own experience and never gave it a second thought.
6 hours ago · Like · 3

(M1): I get you bro..what you said is valid too. But there still good people out there and sometimes we all just need a Lil help from our friends.
6 hours ago · Like · 1

(Y): Key word is friend/family and my door is open because there but for the grace of God go I. (As a child, my mom used to say: "Remember, you may meet some of the same people on the way down as you met on the way up. Therefore, treat them as you wish to be treated.") As a child, I have been homeless before and family took my mother and her children in. Thank God, I was pretty young and didn't even realize that we were homeless; as I got older and I realized what happened to us, I was so deeply appreciative of the aunt and cousins that took us in. As an adult, I have opened my home before and would do it again. No time limit but you must contribute. If you don't have money, you can help to clean and/or cook..and of course, clean up behind yourself. I only had to put one cousin out (I gave her no time limit) but that was because one day when I came home from work, she had moved another friend of hers in without consulting me (a female friend of hers) AND that particular friend was running around in a negligee without a robe. When I came home, she was ironing in the living room with most of her ass out and her breasts partially exposed. Its early evening; she had been sitting around like that most of the day was the way it looked to me. I have a husband. I told my cousin she could stay but Miss Ass and Tits Out had to go. My cousin chose to leave with her. (I would also make it clear that you cannot live with me FOREVER. You must have a reasonable concrete game plan.)
6 hours ago · Edited · Like · 6

(ME): My goodness! This has been quite the rollercoaster of a post. Saddened by some comments, encouraged by others. I totally understand that the choices are individual and everyone must do what's best for themselves and/or their families (regardless of how good and decent the person in need really is. Yes, even the best of folks fall on hard times, sometimes). Thank you all for your honest input!
6 hours ago · Like · 5

(R):Yes
6 hours ago · Like · 1

(M3): Yes
5 hours ago · Like · 1

(R): I didn't read a comment before I responded. Yes there are exceptions to every rule. I've done it 2 times and I really don't regret either. But for the grace of God
5 hours ago · Like · 4

(D2):Yes, but u need to set ground rules, expectations, and time limit, but yes!!!!!!
5 hours ago · Like

(L1): A friend yes a foe no
5 hours ago · Like

(T): If you have to ask then you have your answer.
5 hours ago · Like

(ME)T, I don't understand. What does that mean?
5 hours ago · Like

(T):It's means that you seem to be hesitant or have second thoughts......go with your gut
5 hours ago · Like · 2

(A): Now, you know you need to pray about this, however.....I would do it but don't be shocked if it's more than seven days :) unless a job is soon secured.
5 hours ago · Edited · Like

(S) is this just a hypothetical?

Either way, kudos to you for having the courage to read the comments of your friends...some of whom seem to be heartless and ungrateful.

If my blessings are not meant to be shared then perhaps I don't deserve them. I have had people live with me and my family over the years and even though things didn't always work out as planned, I didn't lose any friends over it.
Communication up front and throughout the stay should mitigate any misunderstandings along the way.
5 hours ago · Like · 1


(S): Curious to know which folks consider themselves spiritual/Christian/religious/holy.
5 hours ago · Like · 1

(S): I will add this, if someone is my friend, then they are not selfish, lying, lazy, people looking to get over on me. I would not get an agreement,a lawyer, or a contract. I would take them as sincere. I would believe they were humbled if not embarrassed to ask me for help. Those are my friends.
5 hours ago · Like · 4

(R1): Yes! You did say friend, right? :-)
5 hours ago · Like · 1

(D4): Yes bcuz the bible says when u give shelter to feed and clothe the homeless, He will answer you when u are in need. And you will be healed quickly of any disease or sickness.
But mostly becuz of the internal rewards of helping others. I've been there for a friend once same situation, and it was worth it.
5 hours ago · Like · 1

(S2): Yes! If you invite her to stay due to her situation she probably does not have money for food as well. I would feed her. Matthew 25:35-40
4 hours ago · Like · 2

(K): I've taken in friends, family and even a neighbors daughter over the years so I know I would do it in a heartbeat. There's always room on my couch and a plate if your hungry.
2 hours ago · Like · 4

(P): Love D1's answer!
about an hour ago · Like


(J1): I would and I have. Most have been positive experiences. once a girl from church started tripping amd tried tp commit suicide. 1) She was not MY friend, but the troubled teen dtr of an acquaintance at church. 2) I did not have THE TALK. BUT, my friends have been cool. and i stayed at two friends with my children. paid my way & helped clean, cook, etc. all went well. so follow yr heart.
about an hour ago · Like · 1

(P): I have been taken advantage of TWICE... I would do it again and again and again... They have to deal with God and so do I. I will NOT turn away a friend in need because of what some OTHER person did to me. And FTR... I'm not sorry I helped the people who burnt me. I'd roll back the tape and help them again.
about an hour ago · Like · 1

(P): My heart is warmed by all the kind folks in this post. I still believe we have more good people in this country than bad. God bless you all!
about an hour ago · Unlike · 1

(R2): Yes, I would do it. I've done it for years for others, have had to kick one out before(for drug use and she keyed my car when she left) and been on the receiving end of such kindness. The Lord has his reasons for the storms of life. We are here to be a blessing to each other, but you may be the one receiving the blessing.
16 minutes ago · Like"

***

Unfortunately, do to the latest happenings in the news surrounding the nanny who won't leave her employer's home, some of my "not-so-welcoming friends" have been proven right. So if I ever get to the point where I actually DO need help, that nanny has made my chances exponentially more difficult.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: In you adult years, have you ever had to stay with a friend or family member until you could get back on your feet?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 16/21)

And the Winner is...

So I had this thought the other day and I don't know if anyone has ever said it before, but it's exactly how I'M feeling, so I'M gonna say it now:

In a relationship and/or friendship, when one person always has to be right, BOTH people lose.

And here's why I say that.

Last year, around this time I had plans to celebrate my birthday with the two people who at that time were my "best friends". We were going to ride in the Beach Babe Bicycle Classic which was happening ON my actual birthday. I thought it would be fun and something different for us to do. So we all registered for the ride.

Sometime after registering I decided that I would rather celebrate my birthday at church because my church family, after 18 months, had finally found a new "church home". I didn't want to miss being there so I told my two friends that there was a change in plans and, that I no longer wanted to do the ride, and that I would reimburse them for their race fees since they weren't refundable. Mind you, I make the least amount of money of the 3 of us, and Lord knows I could not afford to reimburse them their fees, but I did it anyway and thought that would be good enough.

Well...one of the friends got so upset about the change in MY OWN birthday plans that she hasn't spoken to me since. Can you believe that. I changed MY birthday plans and that was enough for her to end our friendship. To this day, I still don't understand it, and if it was for any other reason, she won't talk to me to tell me.

Mind you...I did what I truly believe was the "right" thing. Gave her her money back, and asked..."What did I do wrong?" I value friendship enough to want to make things right when they go wrong. Clearly, it didn't mean as much to her because she has yet to respond. So...I was discarded like yesterday's garbage. Didn't feel good, but what can I do.

Now we fast forward to THIS year. A few weeks ago, my remaining "best friend" did something that upset me. I didn't tell her what it was because there really was no point. She wouldn't have understood my viewpoint, and I'm not one to get into a shouting match, or texting war...or whatever. That's not my M.O. When texts start rolling in, I delete them without even reading. Arguing via text message is what kids do. Grown adults, speak via phone, or meet face to face (as I attempted to do).

As I've said before, when someone upsets me, I just close up, and don't say a THING until I'M ready. I do this for two reasons. One...if I speak too soon it is pretty much a guarantee that I am going to say something that's not very "Christ-like" because I will be speaking from my flesh, and not from the Spirit of Christ. So...I wait for my feelings to cool off.

Two...I don't say anything because it's pointless to try to argue a fact when you KNOW that it will be misunderstood. You know this with 100% certainty. So why bother. I didn't.

Once I was ready though, and had HUMBLED myself enough to reach out, I did. I guess I'm being "taught a lesson" because now SHE'S not responding. And to that, I say fine. Be stubborn. Be "right", if there even IS a "right" in this situation, which there's not.

So going back to my first point, when one person ALWAYS has to be right, both people lose. That's how I feel right now.

I valued the friendship enough to HUMBLE myself and reach out even when I wasn't the offender.

So what's the lesson that I've learned? It's this: One can not resolve a "worldly" issue with Biblical principles. You see, I was trying to resolve the matter the way that Jesus tells us to in Matthew 18. However, that chapter is addressing "Division within the "CHURCH". This issue is OUTSIDE of the church but because we are both followers of Christ, I thought the application would be the same. I was wrong.

Oh well. I still love her just as I love the other one who kicked me to the curb last year. Why? Because it's what Christ, my Lord and Savior has COMMANDED me to do in Matthew 5:44-48,

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."

It seems the older I get, the lonelier the road that I travel. That's alright though, Jesus is with me whether I have 1000 friends or none. And He LOVES me UNCONDITIONALLY. Even when I get angry at Him (which isn't too often, but it has happened), He STILL LOVES ME, and FORGIVES ME. He gives me more than ONE chance. He doesn't hold grudges, and as Christians, we are not to hold them either.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's the most hurtful thing that a good friend has ever done to you? Have you addressed it with them or are you harboring the hurt inside?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 15/21)

The Inevitability of Change

A few weeks ago I saw George Benson perform at the Hollwyood Bowl for the Playboy Jazz Festival. I had never seen him "live" before. As he played and sang I realized that I was watching a living legend. His music it timeless.

He sang a few songs but I was really hoping that he'd sing my favorite: Everything Must Change

"Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same..."

I love that song.

Unfortunately, he didn't sing it. Thankfully, I have it in "MyPod".

Today, that song has been playing in my head on repeat. As I think about my current job situation, my current housing situation, my current friendship situation...I realize that EVERYTHING is changing. None of which I seem to have any control over.

Nevertheless, when my world seems to be spinning, two constants remain: Change is inevitable, and...God is the ONLY constant.

It is in that second part that I find comfort. Even though I don't know where anything is headed, I know that God is already there. That's enough for me. I am sooo glad that God NEVER

changes.

How 'bout you? Let the DIALOGUE begin: Is YOUR world spinning upside down? If so, what do you do to stay calm?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 14/21)

I Come in Peace. I Go in Peace.

Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you typically the one to reach out and reconcile, or do you stubbornly wait for them to reach out to you?

Question: When you get into disagreements with friends, are you vocal and argumentative about why you are upset, or do you silently process what's going on until you've had enough time to come back around?

Question: Are you allowed to ever have a disagreement with a friend, or is ONE chance all you get before that friend "writes you off"?

I posed those questions because apparently I am not allowed to get upset. I only get one chance and then I'm cut off. Pretty high standard to live up to, ain't it? I am not perfect (nor have I ever professed to be), and I am entitled to get upset about things. Everyone processes anger differently. Some are extremely vocal when they are upset. I am the complete opposite. I close up like a clam until I have cooled off. Sometimes I cool off in hours, sometimes days, other times weeks. It just depends on which chord was struck. Now...I may FORGIVE the offense right away, yet still may not be able to communicate with anyone about it that quickly. That's just me.

Anyhoo...I am one of the least confrontational people that most folks know. I simply don't do "drama".

Over the past couple of weeks, my Pastor has been preaching on "division in the church", what causes it, and how to resolve it. The main thing that he has pointed out is that, when it comes to reconciliation of a relationship, MY responsibility to MAKE THE ATTEMPT at reconciling. How the other person responds is NOT my responsibility.

Now...this is NOT to be confused with forgiveness. I say that because I know at least ONE person who seems to be confused so surely there are others. Matthew 18:21 is in reference to how many times a person is to forgive another. I get that completely and I have already forgiven. My issue is in reaching out, attempting to "make things right", only to have the other person be stubborn, or feel that they are "gonna teach me a lesson" by not responding. I am not responsible for their response and do not feel that I need to KEEP reaching out and begging. I mean really, why would I be the one begging when I was the one who was offended? Doesn't make sense, does it?

So...I extended the olive branch and in essence, it got pooped on. Maybe this is how it works when I try to apply a Biblical principle to an issue that is OUTSIDE of the church. Who knows?

Once again, it hurts to know how easy it is for people to discard me like yesterday's garbage, but it's not the first time. I guess I could say that I'm used to it, but this isn't really a feeling that one should ever have to be "used to".

I find it interesting that children tend to act up around Christmas, and I tend to lose friends around my birthday. What's up with that?

Oh well. Just as I still love the friend who "wrote me off" at this time last year, I will continue to love the one who has "written me off" this time. Some friendships end because one person has an affair with the other person's significant other. That's a pretty big offense and worth ending a friendship over. In my case, friendships end when I display a very human emotion that everyone else is okay to display. Never knew that the rules were different for me and only me.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is the smallest, trivial, menial thing that someone ever ended a relationship with you over?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 13/21)

Roadblocks to the Left of me...Roadblocks to the Right of me...

For the past three weeks I have been diligently looking and applying for jobs. Ultimately, I want to work in an organization that provides services that help others. I simply want to serve and operate in my purpose. Doesn't seem like much to ask for yet the results (thus far) would make it seem that I am asking for the IMPOSSIBLE.

I haven't heard anything from anyone. Almost makes me wonder if my internet is working. Maybe my submissions have never even gone out. Nah...that's unlikely, I know.

The other issue that I've run into is that practically EVERYTHING requires a Bachelor's degree. EVERYTHING. Wel...your's truly does not HAVE a Bachelor's degree. However, after realizing that I'm not going to get far without one, I decided to look into re-enrolling back into college.

Two years ago I enrolled in University of Phoenix and that turned into a complete nightmare. I know a few folks who go there and have graduated from there, but if it were up to me...I would tell anyone and everyone to STEER CLEAR.

So I decided to take the traditional route and enroll in one of the state universities. I get there (excited) and ask to speak with a counselor to discuss my educational path. Turns out that the path can not even begin until FALL OF 2015!

Seriously?

I need to be enrolled pronto. A year from now is too far a way.

Registration for Fall 2014 is already closed and it's doubtful at this time if a Spring semester will even be offered. So...Fall of 2015 it is. That was not at all what I was hoping for.

So now what?

I feel so stuck. I'm doing what I need to do to get ahead, yet my efforts aren't getting me anywhere. To say that I am frustrated would be a complete and absolute UNDERSTATEMENT.

I've said this before and I'll say it again...I AM TIRED. Not so much physically tired, but mentally and emotionally tired...to the point of sheer EXHAUSTION. I don't even feel like I'm going through on my own strength anymore, because I really don't have any. If you've ever seen that "Footprints" poem...yeah, that's pretty much where I'm at right now. Tired and being carried by my Heavenly Father. For that, I am ever so grateful.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you over 40 and planning on going back to college?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 12/21)

Every painful step I take...

Today's post will be short, mainly because I am tired. So I'll briefly share what's on my mind.

PAIN. I am in so much pain. I know that it is only God who is keeping me moving because truly...EVERY step hurts. It's so ironic really. Two years ago I got off the couch and got moving. Joined an amazing running group whose focus is primarily to get BLACK women moving since the rates of obesity are so high. I was doing do so well...for about a year. Entering races, improving my time, hiking. It was all so new to me and I was really enjoying it.

Unfortunately, my body has now chosen to rebel and I am 99.99% certain that I have developed Plantar Faciitis. The pain is almost unbearable. Actually...it IS unbearable, yet I can't just stay in bed or sit in chair all day. I've got to move. And with every step I take, there's pain.

The pain used to be its worst first thing in the morning when I'd step out of bed. Then, as the day would wear on, the pain would lessen. Now, that first step is painful, and pretty much every step I take thereafter. Ibuprofen no longer works. Foot soaks no longer work. I'm just not sure what to do next.

Physically, I have to move to a form of exercise that does not require me to be on my feet. Cycling perhaps, although that's quite expensive for my current budget.

I'd love to find a NATURAL cure for my issue because I've never been one to take medication. Interestingly, I'm sure that the pain I'm feeling would probably have someone else in the hospital. You see, I have a high tolerance for pain. Gave birth to three babies NATURALLY...without drugs. Not too many women do that these days. So yeah...I'm sure that what I'm dealing with in my feet is more that most can handle. Just not sure how much longer I can handle it.

So...how 'bout we Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever had Plantar Fasciitis, and if so...how did you treat it to get rid of the pain?

Talk to me PLEASE!

Til next time...

(Day 11/21)

Take Me To The Water...

So today was one of those days that just puts a smile on this girl's face.

Last November a friend added me to a group on Facebook. I wasn't sure what to make of this group but she thought it would be a good fit for me and eight months later, I can say that I'm so glad she did. Actually...I knew just days after being in this particular group just how special it was, and very quickly, these women (97% of whom I've never met), became my sisters. Sounds crazy, I know, but it's true. We can bounce anything off one another and know that we're going to get an honest, LOVING, sisterly response. Sometimes we find ourselves virtually Laughing Out Loud. Other times, we are virtually crying with each other. Sometimes, all in the same day...it just depends on who posted what, and the responses that roll in.

Now I've heard a lot of people say that REAL friendships can not be formed via Facebook. Oh, but I greatly beg to differ. Since joining FB in 2009, I have been in FOUR groups that have resulted in truly genuine friendships. I've met at the homes of some people, have dined out with others, gone to concerts and plays with some, traveled across country, and can truly say that these people are my FRIENDS.

I will also say this...not EVERY group on FB is for EVERYBODY...at least not for ME. I was added to one group a while ago and not even 24 hours in I could tell that it wasn't the place for me. The vibe was just so negative, which was completely different from the other four groups that I'm in or have been in. I just can't be in a place, virtually or otherwise where people feed off of each other's negativity. So yeah, I very quickly found the "leave group" button, and it was "Exit, Stage Left" for this chick.

So, back to today.

Today I got to meet two ladies who are in one of the groups I'm in. So get this...we're sitting around talking and having a good time and I find out that most of us were meeting each other for the FIRST time! Can you believe that?!?

Here's the diagram: I'm "D", and I met with "J", "B", and "V".

"D" knows and has met "B" before today. "D" met "J" and "V" today for the first time.
"B" knows and has met "D" and "V" before today, and was meeting "J" for the first time.
"J" was meeting "D", "B" AND "V" today for the first time.

Yet...it felt like we've all known each other forever. How cool is that?!?

So yeah...REAL relationships CAN be formed via FB when you are dealing with mature folks with a POSITIVE vibe. And don't get me wrong...we're not all "Pollyannas" in the group. We are real people with real issues and have real discussions with each other. There's just something about the vibe. The right vibe makes all the difference.

So...the lovely pic that's posted here was taken after we left our meeting spot and "B" and I went to hang out at the beach. She and I are both "nature girls" so anyplace that SHE likes, I am SURE to like. Once again, she picked a winner. Although any time I am near the ocean...my "place of peace" is a winner.

Take me to the water...ANYTIME.

Now Let the DIALOGUE begin: If you're on Facebook, have you formed any GENUINE friendships there?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 10/21)

Freedom. Can you use it in a sentence?

So today is Independence Day, the day that we celebrate the birth (not sure if that's the right word) of the United States of America.

Although this country has MANY flaws and is FAR from perfect...I still think it's one of the best countries to live in. Probably not THE best, but one of.

In my opinion, the BEST country would be one that doesn't work it's working class into the ground. One that honors family and offers lots more paid time off than this one does. THAT, in my opinion would be one of the deciding factors as to which is the BEST country to live.

But...this country is all I've ever known, so I won't complain. Didn't say that I can't complain. Just said that I won't.

On this "Independence Day" though, FREEDOM has been on my mind and has me really questioning, "What is FREEDOM, really?"

I was about to go on a rant about what FREEDOM means to me, but decided to take the high road (again) and won't.

So...instead of ME telling YOU what FREEDOM is...how 'bout YOU tell ME what FREEDOM is. Fair enough?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is YOUR definition of FREEDOM?

Talk to me!

Til next time...God bless America. We sure need it.

(Day 9/21)

LosS vs. LosT

Pet Peeves! How many of us have them?

When it comes to Facebook, I have a few. But the two that run neck and neck for the number one spot are these:

People who "like" a sad status, and...people who respond with, "I'm sorry for your lost" when someone has died. NOOO!!! It's not losT, it's losS. I'm sorry for your loss!!!

Without fail, EVERY TIME someone posts about a death, there is always always always ONE who comments with, "I'm sorry for you lost". I just can't. I mean CAN NOT.

There are other things that irk me about Facebook, but because it's my favorite form of social media, I'm not gonna bash it too much.

I typically post something at least once a day, but for the past few days I haven't posted anything and I'm not sure when I will again. Kinda taking a break and time to process some things that are going on with me. Facebook will be there whenever I'm ready to post again. And whenever I get over the rude comment that someone made about me being "boastful in my giving". That is so far from the truth...but if this person REALLY knew me then they too would know how asinine their comment was. *Sigh*

For the most part, I keep my posts positive. I rarely if ever look for the "sympathy like or comment". My house could fall into a sink hole and no one would know. I'm just not that kind of person. I am extremely private and don't like or need attention. Oh well, we all use Facebook differently, so...to each their own.

So yeah...those are two of my Facebook pet peeves. There is one more but I'll write about that another day. Here's a hint though: What's up with people who don't accept your friend request? And I'm not talking strangers because I don't send requests to strangers. I'm talking people who have 30+ mutual friends in common and we went to school together??? Yeah...that's a topic for another day. I actually know what that's about, but again...for another day.

So...Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's your biggest Facebook pet peeve?

Talk to me!

Till next time...

(Day 8/21)

Hair that Scratched Back

If you've been following along here in The Dialogue Den, then you know about the career rut I've been in for YEARS and how I'm very diligently looking for a new job. Preferably in the Social Service/Human Service arena where I can best utilize my professional skills and passion for serving others.

Every day I apply to who knows how many jobs. Every day...I get no response.

It's enough to have one questioning life, and the meaning thereof. I mean really, it can make a person really wonder, "What's wrong with me?"

Nevertheless, I have my FAITH and that's what gets me through each day. I'm doing my part by searching, and searching, and searching. I believe that God will do His part and open the door that He intends for me to walk through next. So, I shall live by
Matthew 6:26-34 and wait patiently for my breakthrough.

While I'm waiting however, I've realized that some things needed to be changed like YESTERDAY. One of those things was my hair. Again...if you've been following the blog, you may recall that I cut ALL of my hair off on March 1, 2013. I mean, I went to the barber shop, sat in the chair and said, "Chop it!" And "chop it" he did. I don't even think I had an eighth of an inch of hair. That was fine with me. Well...until it started growing back. My goodness! My hair went through so many different stages and phases while it was growing back. In some spots it grew in quite nicely. But in other spots, it didn't grow in well at all. More specifically, the patch right in the middle of my head toward the back. It was crazy! Like that hair was made up of completly different DNA than the rest of the hair on my head. It was a totally different texture, and grew at a MUCH SLOWER rate.

I couldn't take it any more. The straw that broke the camels back was when I straightened my hair last week. WOW! It turned out TERRIBLY! My hair felt like brillo. The ends were so rough and course...just plain UNHEALTHY.

So...yesterday I walked into my nearby hair salon and told the stylist that I wanted it cut down to the healthiest level. It took her a minute to understand what I was talking about and when she finally got it, she realized that she was about to do a whole lotta cuttin'. You see...most of my hair had grown to about 6 inches in length. But that middle patch was only about 1 inch long. So...down to 1 inch it all went and I'm now back to sportin' a "TWA". For those who don't know...that's a "Teeny Weeny Afro."

Yeah, it kinda sucks that I had to cut it all off again, but...I'm not trippin'. As Ms. India.Arie so eloquently puts it..."I Am Not My Hair." So I'm good.

And...I've learned quite a lesson. Just because I wear my hair "natural" does NOT mean that I can go without maintaining it regularly...as in, regular trims. It probably would have grown a lot quicker and healthier if I had gotten it trimmed regularly. As with every other lesson that I've ever learned in life...I've learned this one the hard way. Nevertheless...lesson> learned.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Aside from medical reasons, have you ever cut off all your hair? If so...how did that work for ya?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 7/21)

Answering the Questions

So I'm in a bit of a career rut...actually a MAJOR career rut, and I'm doing everything I know to do to get out of it. Searching daily for a new job, praying, and just last Friday and started and FINISHED reading a fantastic book called The Leap, by Rick Smith. If you're in a career rut like me, I HIGHLY encourage you to read this book.

The pages of this book SCREAMED at me, so I've decided to do something with what I've read.

Throughout the book are pages with questions for the reader to answer, in an effort to steer one into the career direction that best suits one's purpose.

I have decided to start answering those questions right here in The Dialogue Den (and I expect YOU to answer them too!)

I'm not going to specifically list the question because I don't want to violate any copyright laws, but I will answer the questions since those words are my own. Perhaps from my answers you can figure out what the questions are.

So, here goes:

My ideal life is one filled with good health, no financial concerns, and operating in my created purpose. A life that will allow me to help others operate in their created purpose. I am ending each day knowing that I have done something (no matter how small) to make this world we live in, a better place. If my ideal life turned out exactly as I wished, I would have someone to share my joys and successes with. That someone would be my HUSBAND. In my opinion, everything is better when you have someone to share it with. I don't know who he is or where he is, but God-willing, he will find me. We would be homeowners instead of renters, lenders instead of borrowers, the head and not the tail. My children would be healthy, wealthy and wise, operating in their purpose. As you can see...this whole PURPOSE thing is pretty big for me. Primarily because I am not yet operating in mine (yet praying daily for the door of opportunity to open), and because I know that life is just so much sweeter when we are allowed to do what we are created to do versus what we HAVE to do just to get the bills paid. In my ideal world, the magic wand would be waved and EVERYONE would be operating in their purpose...waking up EVERYDAY with joy, looking forward to what lies ahead, instead of dreading the day and wishing for 5:00 pm to come when it's only 8:00 am.

And in all that I do, and all that I achieve in my "ideal life", God gets ALL the glory. All of it!

Now it's YOUR turn!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Describe YOUR ideal life.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

(Day 6/21)