I'm not even sure how this post is gonna end. I'm just going to let the words flow from my fingertips and let the emotions fall where they may.
The year was 1980. I was in the 6th grade and my best friend (or at least one of them) was Nadine. We sat next to each other in class and I'd spend the night at her house often. We had lots of fun together. She doesn't even know this, but she introduced me to the movie that would become my all time favorite.
The day was a Friday and we were asking each other about weekend plans. She told me that she was going to see a movie. I asked her which one and she replied with, "Fang". I hadn't heard of it. Then she said, "No, not FaNG...FaME." Ohhh.
I'm not sure if we saw it together, but I do know that I saw it because I fell in love with that movie. In my mind...I WAS Coco Hernandez...and I wanted to go to that school. To this day, if FAME comes on TV, I drop EVERYTHING and watch...while singing along LOUDLY, of course.
The school year came to an end and we culminated to middle school. We were still friends, but what I didn't realize was that with a new school comes new FRIENDS. So, our circle grew as new friends were added.
By the time we entered 8th grade, things began to change. Things I didn't like. What seemed to be my "growing" circle of friends was actually shrinking, and I was very subtly pushed out of the circle. Nadine was no longer MY best friend, and instead had become very close with Olivia. I was actually pretty close to Olivia too. But Nadine and Olivia...they did EVERYTHING together. Pretty soon, I was no longer hanging out with either one. They didn't want me or my friendship anymore...or at least that's how it appeared.
I remember when Olivia got mad at her parents for not letting her go to a concert and she ended up running away from home. Everybody was looking for her. Nadine was the one who found her. Olivia went through a really "weird" phase after that...(and I mean REALLY weird...like SPIRITUALLY weird), and little by little our relationship became pretty much non-existent.
The next year we graduated from middle school and the three of us went to separate high schools. Nadine and Olivia stayed close though.
Thanks to the creation of Facebook, in our adult years we've been able to reconnect. Through our re-connection I'm beginning to realize that although it hurt me back then to be "thrown aside", "discarded", "kicked to the curb"...I sometimes think that it was probably best for me, and God, of course, knew that.
The spiritual paths that we've taken have been quite different. I am a follower of Christ and I will shout it from the mountain tops ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Nadine doesn't believe in Christ AT ALL, and feels that people like me are enslaved and don't think for ourselves. Olivia was once a Christian yet today, I'm not so sure. She kinda borders on "New Age" and Christianity...but it's really really hard to tell. From what I understand, she took a trip to an impoverished country a while back and "lost Jesus" while she was there.
Now I've said all that to say this...I don't like "sharing" my friends. Maybe it stemmed from those experiences back in middle school...who knows? That may also be part of the reason why I have my friends "hidden" on Facebook. I don't need people going through my friend's list and then "friending" my friends. I like keeping that private. Interestingly, I have some FANTASTIC Facebook friends, and I'm in some of the BEST "secret" groups on FB. I love that they're secret because that keeps folks from scouting them out and then next thing you know...all of a sudden, they're friends with someone who you KNOW only knows them through you. By the way...those groups are nothing that I'd be embarrassed to tell anyone about, they're simply groups where grown folks can openly and maturely share what's going in in their live, without all the immature drama that's found in most other FB groups.
As technology continues to make advancements, it's inevitable that new connections will continue to grow from "mutual" ones, and maybe by that time I will be more at ease with it. Right now though, I like to keep "this group" over here and "that group" over there and keep them as separate as I can, for as long as I can. That's just me though. Maybe I'm being selfish, but it is what it is.
Oh, and there's also a weirdness about Facebook friends (or should I say POTENTIAL friends) that I have YET to understand. Months ago (maybe even years), I sent a "friend request" to someone I went to middle school AND high school with. I even saw him a few years back at a restaurant and we had a great conversation. We have over 50 "mutual friends" and I'm even friends with his brother and cousin. We have well over 50 "mutual friends". All this and he never responded to my request. He's always been a bit "boozhy" so I guess it makes sense. Until...I saw that he was friends another friend of mine and this has only happened recently...like within the last six months. What's up with that?!? No biggie though. It's not a popularity contest (at least for me it's not), and the LAST thing I'm about to do is go BEGGIN' for friends...especially people who snub their noses at my request, like I'm not good enough for them to be friends with. It's his loss though. My Facebook posts are positive, encouraging, uplifting, funny and most folks enjoy them. Unless he sends ME a request one day, he'll just never know.
Phew...that felt good! Clearly, I needed to get that out.
Now it's YOUR turn. Let the DIALOGUE begin: If you're on Facebook, do you have your friends hidden, or do you not care if your friends start "friending" other friends?
Talk to me!
Til next time...
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