On This Day...

On this day one year ago, we said our final "public" farewell to my Mom.

I still remember all of the stress that led up to the day. Never before had I had to make "arrangements" for anyone. I had simply attended Homegoing services, but never PLANNED one. There was so much to be done, and I was barely one month into my new job so I couldn't take time off. Everything pretty much had to be handled when I got of work. It was EXHAUSTING!!!

Figuring out when and where the service would be held was probably my biggest disappointment. I really really (can I say really one more time) wanted MY pastor to officiate the service at so that my church family could attend. Unfortunately, my church already had a big event planned for the day that my Dad wanted to have the service, so NO ONE from my church was able to attend. The event that day was MANDATORY and ALL MEMBERS had to be in attendance. To this day, that still hurts. I know that it wasn't planned that way intentionally, but my Mom was only going to have ONE Homegoing service. That was pretty big deal to me and my family. But...as with so many things, I had to "suck it up", "put on my big girl pants" and understand that nothing was going to change, so we had to proceed as planned. Thankfully, some of my former church members were able to attend and in that, I found comfort.

We decided to have the service at my brother's church, and his pastor officiated. All in all, (although he arrived QUITE late), it all worked out.

Getting the obituary done...that was difficult. Two years before my Mom passed, she had already written it. Just as my mother was UNIQUE and unlike anyone else you'll ever meet in you life...so too was her obituary.

Getting it put into the format that she had written, along with including pictures was quite a task...and EXPENSIVE.

Flowers. Do you have any idea how much floral arrangements cost...in addition to WHERE one is supposed to get said floral arrangement? Well it turns out that the best deal on pretty much ANYTHING is Downtown L.A. So that's where I heady. The area was a bit "seedy" but hey, I needed these flowers...and...I got 'em.

Then there was the repast. Where would that be held. Thankfully, my cousins opened up their home and we all had a very nice gathering in honor of my Mom.

I was a mess...a stressed out mess!

And then there was "Joe." Poor Joe. I remember one day he called, and I may have said "Hello?", which was followed by him asking how I was doing, and just like that...the floodgates opened and I dumped EVERYTHING on him. Once I was done and he did what he could to calm me down, he proceeded to tell me that he had been in an accident that day. I felt like such an ass.

I had spent so much time whining and complaining about MY problems, it never dawned on me to ask how things were going with him. Thankfully he was hurt in the accident...his car just had a few bumps. Even with my mood swings and high stress levels, he was right by my side the entire day of the service. Picked me up that morning, told me everything would be okay, brought me home that night and still told me that everything would be ok. I thank God for him EVERYDAY.

So much has happened from that day until now. I miss my Mom somethin' awful. It's a feeling that I just can't describe and as shallow as it sounds, I just don't think that anyone other than someone whose Mom has passed can truly understand. There's just an empty space that my Mom used to fill and nothing else can fill it.

Nevertheless, I still rejoice in knowing that she is not in any more pain. For the past year and 13 days, she has experienced joy, UNSPEAKABLE JOY. Knowing that, I can truly say that it is well with my soul.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever had to plan a funeral...or as we Christians call it...a Homegoing service? If so, how did it go?

Talk to me!

Til next time...