One Year Later

And...here we are.

Today marks the last of my "Year of Firsts". This is the 1 yr anniversary (if you will) of my Mom's passing.

What a year it's been.

All in all I think I've handled it well.

I miss going to her home and having her wake up (she slept a LOT), and then make her way into the living room where she'd sit in her favorite chair and chat until she got tired and needed to head back to bed.

I miss the way that she spoiled her "fur-babies". They loved them some her and she love her some them. When she passed, her dog Lazarus fell into a deep depression. I didn't know that dogs had feelings like that...but he did and he missed her terribly. It was so sad for me to see.

I've shed many tears over the past 12 months and only have few regrets.

One...I wish I had saved her last happy birthday voice mail message that she left on July 14 2014. She sang me the birthday song that she sang every year. Without that song my birthday will NEVER be the same.

Two...I wish I had kept her favorite night gown. It had this big dog on the front and she always wore it. In my haste of donating her clothes, I gave that away too. I know good and well that the folks I donated it to probably threw it out. To them I'm sure it just looked old and worn. To me...it had meaning.

My Mom and I were not "best buds", but we were mother and daughter and loved each other as such. By her bedside I told her many times that I loved her, and she told me the same. So in that regard I can truly say that it is well with my soul.

I took today off (as I will probably do EVERY year), and spent some much needed time at "My Place of Peace". Listening to the waves and the wind...sticking my feet in the water and letting it come up to my calves. Picked some lovely shells, and communed with God, my Creator. Told him EVERYTHING that was on my heart. Not just about my Mom, but about EVERYTHING going on in my life. I sang to him, and thanked Him for all that He is to me. I can truly say that today was a good day.

Now I'm off to go buy some flowers and place them by my Mother's urn. I know that she's not there, but it just seems like the right thing to do on this day.

I love my Mom. I miss my Mom. And I know that I will see her again, in the presence of God whenever He chooses to call me home.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time YOU went to the beach?

Talk to me!

Til next time...