COME ON DOWN!!!

Tomorrow is "payday", and as I always do, I checked my bank account this morning just to see how much is going on. Now that my insurance benefits have kicked in, there's a bit LESS going in these days.

Man...it was hard enough making it from paycheck to paycheck BEFORE the employee contributions started coming out. NOW...it's gonna be even tougher.

Lord, help me!

Based on my calculation, after I pay the rent on August 1st, I will have exactly $68.00 to last me for TWO WEEKS. That $68.00 will have to cover gas, food, and that's it. There simply won't be any room left for anything other than those two.

Interestingly though, I've been making it work. Actually, the truer statement would be, "By the grace of God, I've been making it work." I may get down to $.10 in my account before the next paycheck, but $.10 is $.10, and I'll be thankful for it.

On my last paycheck I actually started off "in the hole" because a transaction went through that I hadn't factored in. As a result, my bank covered it, and of course...charge me their "not-so-courteous-courtesy fee."

This time around, I'll be more cautious.

Juggling my hair-thin finances has become quite a skill and at times I feel as if I am on a game show.

"You have x-amount of money to buy x-amount of food to feed x-amount of people...without going over. GO!!!"

That's pretty much my life.

Nevertheless, I won't complain.

I'm thankful to have a job.

I'm thankful for the one paycheck that doesn't go completely to rent.

I'm thankful for the hope that lies within, telling me that it won't always be this hard. I won't ALWAYS have to struggle. Things WILL get better.

I'm thankful for the fact that I really do know how to "make a dollar out of fifteen cents". Not many folks can do that.

So I'm good.

I'll have a roof over my head, and I live within walking distance of a market that has fruit and veggies at VERY LOW prices. Heck...I could stand to miss a few meals (at least those that include meat anyway).

So...Let the DIALOGUE begin: How good are you at "making a dollar out of fifteen cents"?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Not That Hungry

Tonight is one of those nights where I'm not really quite sure what to write about so I've turned to my handy little book that was given to me a couple birthdays ago called, "642 Things To Write About". I flipped through the pages and nothing jumped out at me. So I went to the first page and picked the first topic I saw. It was this:

The worst Thanksgiving dish you ever had

So here goes.

I don't remember the EXACT year, I just know that it was between 20-25 years ago.

My grandmother had passed away and my grandfather was seeing this new "woman" who he had decided to marry, so he decided to have the family over for Thanksgiving dinner...prepared by "her".

What I didn't know at the time was that everyone else in the family had already met her. I, somehow, was the only one who hadn't yet.

Well...I met her...and didn't like her. Twenty some odd years later, my dislike for her was completely warranted as she turned out to be a real witch...with a capital B.

Anyhoo...I digress...

It was time for dinner and we all gathered 'round the table and start dishing food onto our plates. I got some turkey and went to pour what I *thought* was gravy. Well...the only thing gravy-ish about it was the fact that it was in a gravy bowl, tureen...whatever that thing is called. But what was swimming around in the bowl was NOT gravy...it was GREASE. Straight GREASE.

I decided to pass on that and instead, just ate my dry turkey DRY.

I'm sure that there was more to the meal that wasn't very palatable but at this moment all that sticks with me is that GREASE.

That was the LAST meal of hers that I've ever eaten, and I think that if I were starving and she offered me food today, I'd just have to go on home to glory. She's a SNAKE and I wouldn't want anything from her...EVER. But again...that's another story for a different day.

Let the DIALOUGUE begin: What's the worst Thanksgiving dish you ever had?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Who said that?

This morning while at work, "Joe" popped into my thoughts (as he so often does).

I was thinking about the rough day that he had yesterday and how I was hoping that today would be much better. Yesterday was a REALLY bad day for him.

I spent most of the evening with him, doing what I could to encourage him and keeps his spirits high. As the night got late he shooed me off to my car, kissed me goodnight, told me he loved me, and instructed me to call to let him know that I got home safely (which I did).

But this morning he remained heavy on my mind. I know that life is full of curve balls but it just seemed like he got hit with more than his share yesterday. I wished there was somethin

g I could do to help. Unfortunately, there wasn't much, except "be present."

There was something about seeing him the way that he was yesterday, hearing the change in his voice, that just made me love him more than I already did. Something in me just wanted everything to be right in his world. And the feeling that I had made me realize that as much as I know I love him, there's always room for MORE. That doesn't mean that I am loving him less than I should because if my love for him were something that could be visibly seen, it would be absolutely overflowing EVERYWHERE. Yet, and still...I grew to love him just a bit more yesterday.

Then I got to thinking about my kiddos. I loved them BEFORE they were born. When they were the size of a pencil eraser...then became "baby bumps"...then got big enough to elbow me in the ribs and use my bladder as a "bouncy bounce". Seems that the love just grew and grew with each phase. Then they arrived...and I got to hold them, hug them, watch them grow. And now...25+ years later, they STILL do things that make me love them even MORE.

The same goes with my friends and family.

There's just something so INFINITE about LOVE. Seems that the more you GIVE...the more there is to be GIVEN.

So all of that made me think of the following...which I Googled and apparently am the FIRST person to ever say these words. So I guess that would make this an ORIGINAL phrase...to be quoted for YEARS, DECADES, and all ETERNITY.


"Every day is an opportunity to LOVE a little more than you did the day before."

Who said that?

I DID!!!

I think it's BEAUTIFUL, and it expresses exactly what I had been feeling. So for my "Joe" and everyone else in my life...I hope you all "feel the love". Thankfully, there's plenty more where that came from.

Now...Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is YOUR favorite quote?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Please Define: LIKE

A couple days ago a friend posted this:

"Not feeling good."

Underneath that was a picture of my friend laying in a hospital bed.

Now...can you guess what I am about to say? Can you?!?

How 'bout I help you out.

That post got 58 "likes". 58! WHY?!?

Why would anyone "LIKE" that???

This individual was IN THE HOSPITAL with tubes coming out, and clearly stated "Not feeling good." WHAT IS THERE TO LIKE ABOUT THAT?!? That is not something that anyone should "like".

I just don't get it. I just don't.

Comment if you will (I did), and wish the person well...but don't "LIKE" the fact that this person is not feeling well. Just don't!

Ugh!!!

But it doesn't stop there.

Today, another friend posted this:

"Just one of them days but I'm pushing through it. It was a rough one."

Again...17 "likes". WHY???

Clearly, this person is not having a good day. So how 'bout leaving a comment with something encouraging and/or uplifting to say. But don't "like" the fact that they are having a rough day. Nooo!!!

Again I say...I just don't get it.

Maybe I'm the only one who gets completely irked by this. Maybe. Am I?

What say you?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is YOUR Facebook Pet Peeve?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Next!

Here's what I know:

Some folks like to argue just for the sake of argument.

Here's what else I know:

I am NOT one of those people.

I simply don't have the time or energy to waste on folks who HAVE to be "right" ALL the time, and HAVE to have the LAST SAY...ALL the time. I just don't have it.

So when I find myself in an argument that I know is CLEARLY gonna go NOWHERE, I simply leave the discussion. As in...whatever your "last say" was, didn't even meet my ears (or eyes if it's something that I had to read). And that works just fine for me. You see...my life simply has NO ROOM for negativity. So I don't let it in, nor do I entertain it. I just IGNORE it.

Guess that's the big difference between what makes me ME, and makes other folks THEM. I don't wanna be THEM...I wanna be ME. And according to God's word, I think I may be on track.

Proverbs 26:4 reads:

"Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools,

or you will become as foolish as they are."

'Nuff said!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you an arguer who ALWAYS has to be right? If so, what do you get out of that?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Coming To The Stage...

Three weeks ago a friend had her birthday celebration at a nearby karaoke spot. Anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE karaoke. Well...actually...I love singing...whether I am at karaoke or not.

Anyhoo...I went and had a GREAT time.

I loved the fact that it was so close to my home. Usually I travel 15+ miles away from home to sing karaoke, but that's because I typically go with a different group of friends so we tend to go in THEIR neighborhood.

About this new spot, I also love the crowd.

The BEST singers get applause, and so do the "not-so-best" singers. I happen to fall somewhere in the middle.

Oh...and it's FREE to sing. Sure, there's a bar and the drinks are usually flowin', but I don't drink, so...there goes that. Sometimes I'll get an overpriced Sprite, just to say that I've purchased SOMETHING. But last night I only had water.

Did you catch that? I said, "last night."

Yep folks, I have such a good time at this place that I have gone THREE FRIDAYS IN A ROW!

The first night I went I sang "Square Biz" by my FAVE, Teena Marie.
Last week I sang, "Video" and "The Truth" by India.Arie
Las night I sang, "The Way" by Jill Scott, and even had some dudes offer themselves to be my background singers. Funny...didn't know that I needed any background singers, but I'm a good sport and they made it fun.

Will I be back NEXT Friday? It's kinda tough to say this early in the week, but...well...you know the rest.

Bottom line is this...I simply LOVE to sing and I will sing ANYTIME, ANYWHERE.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: If I DO go to karaoke again next Friday, what should I sing?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

It Takes a Village...

They say, "It takes a village to raise a child." I say, "It takes a village to get through LIFE."

Not that I didn't realize this before, but today I realized even more just how much we need each other and how none of us can really get through this life alone.

And I don't mean in terms of being married or having "life partner" but just in terms of having folks around who are able to fill in the blank spaces.

For example...

Yesterday my dad asked if I could pick him up from the hospital this morning. I said, "Sure, after I get off work". I had to go in this morning to catch up on some stuff.

So I leave work to go pick him up at the hospital where my brother had dropped him off earlier this morning. I then dropped my dad off at his dialysis center where my uncle would pick him up when he dialysis was over. How 'bout that. In just ONE day, three people have had to step in to help another.

That's how life should be. No one should ever have to figure out how things are gonna "work out". With a good support system in place, they always will. EVERYONE should have a good support system.

For me, it came a few months ago in the way of financial assistance. I wasn't working, had NO money coming in...and I mean NONE, so I found myself having to send out a plea for help. THANKFULLY, my "village" of friends and family came to my aid, and I was able to make it just a little while longer. Had it not been for the graciousness of those individuals, I truly do not know WHERE I would be. I highly doubt that I would have been sitting at my own kitchen table writing this post as I am now.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a "village" that you can count on in times of need?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Does This Thing Have a SNOOOZE Button?

This morning, this city girl got an "unusual" awakening. I won't call it a "rude" awakening, but it was definitely "unusual".

Most nights, before I go to sleep, I set my alarm clock.

Well...last night I did that very thing. The only difference in the routine was that I slept over at a friend's house, but still...I set my alarm.

Little did I know...I didn't need that alarm.

Why?

I'll tell you why.

Because at 4:55 am a nearby rooster "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo'd!"

I lay there in bed and thought, "Well that was interesting." Then dozed back off to sleep...only to hear MINUTES later, the doodling AGAIN...and again...and again...

This rooster cock-a-doodle-doo'd from 4:55 am to 7:43 am when I finally left to go to work.

Now I could understand if this were going on in some agricultural part of California, but no...this all happened in "The CPT"...also know as Compton.

And I didn't hear just ONE rooster. I heard at least THREE.

All in all, I guess I can say that I learned something today. I always thought that roosters only doodled ONCE each morning and were done. I had NO IDEA that it was an ongoing thing.

Being the "nature girl" that I am, I wasn't too bothered...just surprised.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: When was the last time you heard a rooster "cock-a-doodle-doo"?

Talk to me!

Till next time...

Pookie, Puddin', Sunshine...

Last Friday while I was out at karaoke, I ran into some old friends.

I said hello, and they said, "Mother of Agnes! It's so good to see you!"

Now aside from this one set of folks, if anyone else had heard them address me as "Mother of Agnes" they would've wondered who these folks were talking to.

But, in this particular circle, we all know that it's me.

Somewhere along the way they gave my youngest daughter the nickname "Agnes". For the life of me I don't know WHERE that came from. One day I really will have to ask.

But as a result, everyone related to my daughter automatically became "______________________ of Agnes>". My oldest daughter is "Sister of Agnes". My son...you guessed it...is "Brother of Agnes".

And it just cracks me up every time I hear it.

So...here we are.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a nickname, and if so, how 'bout tellin' us what it is and how you got it.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Happy Birthday...I Hope

Two of the emptiest words most folks ever utter are "I'm sorry".

Those words fell upon my ears MULTIPLE times this evening and they meant ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Here's the deal:

My birthday was last Tuesday. At my job, the person whose birthday came before yours does the decorating and brings the treats for YOUR birthday. So my desk was festively decorated and my co-work MADE hand-dipped chocolate strawberries. Even dipped some in blue with a brown swirl going around to match my FAVORITE colors. I found that to be sooo thoughtful. As a result, I wanted the person who I am responsible for to feel just as special.

My person's birthday is actually today, but she took the day off, so I had an extra day to prepare. Now her special request was, PIE...specifically RHUBARB, Lemon Cream and Apple. I decided I would go with RHUBARB and apple. So on SUNDAY, I called my local Marie Callender's and ordered a RHUBARB pie and an apple. "No problem", said Nate who took my order. "We will have those ready for you Tuesday evening. Just come on in."

So here it is, Tuesday evening and I take my happy arse over to get my pies. I tell the man at the register what I am there to pick up and I could tell by the look on his face that things were about to go South...REAL FAST.

He looks in the case where the pies are. NO RHUBARB.
He looks on the rack where the RHUBARB pies are kept. NO RHUBARB.
He goes to the back as if a RHUBARB pie is going to magically appear. He knew good and well when he went back there that there was NO RHUBARB pie.


Finally, he says, "I'm sorry. We don't have any RHUBARB pies."

"Well I called on SUNDAY and was assured that one would be ready for pickup. I need to take this pie to work tomorrow morning and that's why I called ahead so that it would be ready TODAY"

"I'm sorry. When I came in there weren't any RHUBARB pies."

"So what was the point of my calling on Sunday if the pie wasn't going to be here today?"

"I'm sorry. You can choose another pie and I can give it to you at the sale price."

"I don't want ANOTHER pie. I called ahead for RHUBARB because that is what the recipient SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR. SPECIFICALLY."

"I'm sorry."

All the "sorrys" in the world were not going to make that pie appear!

My thought is this, the words "I'm sorry" don't mean much if the issue is still present. That dude could STILL be standing there apologizing and I STILL would not have the RHUBARB pie that I need to take to work tomorrow.

Why can't folks just do what they SAY they're gonna do?!?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: I've never had RHUBARB pie. Have you? If so, what does it taste like?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Remember to Look on The Back

Here was my Facebook post from this morning:


"Arrived at church this morning and a lovely gift was waiting for me. Hand-decorated by one of my church-family members. She even included my FAVORITE verse of Scripture. It's sooo me...and I love it!!!"

And the stone that you see pictured here went along with the post.

I can not fully express how OVERJOYED I was to receive this stone. I love it for so many reasons.

1. It was THOUGHTFULLY created.
2. It was UNIQUELY designed JUST FOR ME.
3. It symbolizes things that I love...SINGING, and God's Word (my FAVORITE Scripture, Psalm 34:1).

Now I was happy with just those three things.

Then...

My friend "Kay" walked in.

As I was thanking her for the gift she told me that she had gotten the stone from one of my favorite hiking trails...one of my "peaceful places." Those who know me well know that this place MUST be near the ocean...and it is. Wow! As if it weren't already meaningful enough...that just added to it.

But like a Ginsu Knife commercial, I have to say, "Wait...there's MORE!"

As she continued to tell me about the stone, I happened to flip it over and noticed that she had written a special message on the

back (get out your tissue folks!)

I was done!

It read:

"Truly, you are such an amazing person. I am so inspired by you and blessed to say that I know you.
Love you,
"Kay"
7-15-15"

I really don't know what to say to that. All I know is that I try to "let my light shine" and try to treat others the way I want to be treated...with kindness, love, understanding, and every GOOD thing that should be shared.

Of course, I am flawed, and "miss the mark" DAILY...but the goal each day is to be a little bit better than I was the day before.

None of what I do is of my own accord, but it is because of the Holy Spirit who dwells within, who allows me to inspire, encourage, and lift up the spirit of others however and whenever I can.

I am sooo very thankful for the wonderful folks whom God has placed in my life who, "know me" and "get me" and my sister-friend "Kay" does. Many "know me", but very few "get me". As easy-going of a person as I am, that part often baffles me, because I'm really not that difficult "to get".

Anyhoo...I will be taking my stone with me to work tomorrow, and there it shall remain as a daily reminder for me to "Just Keep Singing" and to bless the LORD at ALL times, continually keeping His praises in my mouth.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What was the most meaningful hand-decorated gift you've ever received?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Did the Butler Do It?

Tonight I did something that I've wanted to do for a long time. I went on a Mystery Dinner Cruise at the invitation of a friend. I wasn't sure what to expect although I laughed at how EVERYONE was suspect from the moment we stepped foot on the boat. I also found it interesting as folks were interrogating me as a "potential" suspect. One of the questions that stuck out most was, "What do you do for a living?" It's funny that WHENEVER I am asked that question, not just this evening, but ANYTIME I am asked, I never say what my ACTUAL profession is. I always say that I am a WRITER. Really, I do. That answer just seems to be the most natural for me, and the word "writer" just rolls right off my tongue.

So tonight I was a writer.

To one person, I said that I was a writer of a children's publication. To another, I was a writer of erotic fiction. Crazy, ain't it!?! Guess you could say that I covered the spectrum with those two audiences.

Anyhoo...the night progressed, the clues kept coming, and the guy who seemed "too obvious" to be the one, actually was. He was creepy! But aside from being creepy, by the end of the cruise, the clues pointed directly to him. And yours truly, along with the two folks who were with me, guessed correctly.

He wasn't sooo obvious that we didn't have other suspects in mind, because we had a few other folks we were watching too...but because of the clues, we knew we had our guy.

All in all, it was a great experience, and I would recommend it to anyone who's interested in going.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever been to a mystery dinner cruise? If so, did you guess "Whodunnit?"

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Dance...TODAY!

Last Friday I found this cool new karaoke spot. Went there for a friend's birthday and had a BLAST. Even though I only got to sing ONE song, it was fun just singing along with everyone else, and dancing to the music that was played before each performance.

I had SUCH a good time last Friday that I went back for more yesterday. Interestingly, although I put out the call to all of my friends on FB to join me, NONE did...at least for the first couple hours. During the last hour, ONE friend came by, and I'm so glad that she did.

Those who know me well though, know that I am a party "all by myself", so if no one had shown up, it would've been cool. Heck, I came into this world alone, and I will die alone...if I can't enjoy being out by myself, with myself, then I'm in trouble. But it was nice to know that there was SOMEBODY out there who wanted to share in my company.

Last night I got to sing TWO songs. "Video" by India.Arie and "The Truth", also by India.Arie
Not that I am a super huge fan of hers, but because my favorite Teena Marie songs aren't in the karaoke book, and someone had already signed up to sing "The Way" by Jill Scott. One'a these nights I'm gonna get THREE songs in...you just watch.

Even more than singing though, I love...(did I sayLOVE) "people-watching".

I loved watching the men channel their "inner Luther Vandross" or "inner Teddy Pendergrass" as they crooned to the women in the audience. That was a show in itself.

But what I really Really REALLY enjoy, is watching people DANCE. My eyes are always drawn to dancers...especially the ones who are dancing to a song in their head that sounds NOTHING like the song the rest of us are hearing.

That happened last night. A guy was dancing right in front of me and all I could do was giggle. I wasn't laughing AT him ('cause that just would've been wrong), but the way he moved just made me giggle. Oh, and he had moves! He had spins...and dips...the whole sha-bang. What I really appreciated was the fact that he did not care WHO was watching. Or as the quote goes...he danced like No One was watching. And in that, he was FREE. We should all be as free as he was while he danced.

So...with that I say...

Let the DIALOUGUE begin: When was the last time YOU danced like no one was watching?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Say CHEESE!

With the advent of camera cell phones, "selfies" have gone through the roof. I'm not big on selfies, but I know some folks who post one DAILY. And that's fine. To each his own.

Now I don't know how many of you are like me, but when I look at someone's photo I automatically zoom in on what's in the background. As a result, I have seen some CRAZY stuff.

Tonight I giggled as a friend posted a pic of herself at a concert and in the row behind her is a man scowling, as if to say, "I don't wanna be in no pitcha". Now...if he had only looked the other way, he wouldn't have been in the "pitcha" and I probably would've never noticed him.

Interestingly, last Friday night when I was out, I was sitting behind a group of women who took a LOT of pics. Well...sitting right behind them...whad'a'ya'think *I* did? {humming Jeopardy theme song}...I SMILED, and placed my head between theirs. Yep! More than likely they deleted all the ones I was so "obviously" in, but I sure had a lot of fun squeezing myself into their pics. (I know...I was wrong, but it was fun...really, it was). So...that leads me to tonight's question...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: How many pics do you think you've just "randomly" appeared. How many times have you looked at a pic that you'd taken only to find that some random "Shmo" ended up in it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Dellfonzo

Tonight's post is coming to you by way of the keyboard on my new laptop computer. Are they still called "laptops" anymore? Maybe I should call it a "notebook". Anyhoo...my Dad got it for me for my birthday yesterday and I am learning my way around it. One thing that I've had to adjust to is the "touchpad". See...I'm a "mouse" girl. And I'm not talking "cordless mouse"...I'm talking, "plug in the cord and click away" mouse.

My previous laptop also had a touchpad, but one of my former co-workers, years ago, found a mouse for me and I've been using it ever since. I am sooo tempted to plug that bad boy into my new computer, which I have affectionately named "Dellfonzo", but that would really jack up his sleek, state of the art, look...sooo...I'll see how long I last.

Anyway...that's all I have to report about today. Lots more to write about but they work us so hard at my job, there just isn't much energy left for anything at the end of the day.

I've thrown 3 loads of wash in, and now they're in the dryer. So I'll get those out when they're done...fold & put everything away, and then it'll be "lights out" for this chick.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you have a laptop/notebook? If so, how old is it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

p.s.- I tried to add an image to this post but can't figure out how to download it to the new computer. So...please bear with me. The next few posts for a while may just be all WORDS. You'll still stop by though, right? ;-)

So today is my birthday...

Well...here we are folks! July 14th. My 47th birthday.

I did good.

Only got teary-eyed once thinking about my Mom and that fact that I simply WILL NOT get the call that I've always received on this day. In case you're wondering what that song was, I'll write the words here. The funny part is, I don't even know if these are the exact words to the actual song, but this is how MY ears have always heard them:

"So today is your birthday
That is what I've been told
What a wonderful birthday
You are one more year old.

On the cake there'll be candles
all covered for you
What a WONDERFUL birthday
Happy Birthday to You."

That's the song I will forever miss.

Not gonna say much more 'cause there's just not a whole lot to say. I love my Mom. I miss my Mom. And I thank her for bringing me into the world on this day 47 years ago. I thank her for keeping me instead of "letting a rich White lady have me". Yes...those were her words and that was almost my fate. She was just a young girl, and I was to be put up for adoption and raised in a "better" family because that is what happened to babies born to very young mothers back in 1968. But God had other plans...and I am so glad that He did.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What special birthday tradition would YOU miss if you didn't have it anymore?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Goodbye 46! Hello 47!!

Today marks my very last day of being 46. Although...if we wanna get "technical"...I'll be 46 until 2:20pm and 59 seconds TOMORROW. But for the sake of keeping things simple...today is the last day.

I gotta tell ya, 46 kicked my arse!

I was unemployed TWICE, had my car (very expensively) towed for the first (and hopefully LAST) time in my life, and...worst of all, my Mom left her life here on Earth and began her eternal life in Heaven.

So tomorrow will be difficult for me, because it'll be the first one without my Mom. It will be the first birthday WITHOUT the special birthday song that she'd sung to me every year for as long as I can remember.

Of all the "firsts" that I've experienced since November 9, 2014...THIS will be the toughest. I love my Mom. I miss my Mom. And although our relationship was not always the best, she was my mother...the one who cared for me, and loved me in her own unique way. It may not have always looked like love, but she LOVED me...this I know.

I wanted to write her a letter. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. There are so many things that I wish I had said before she left. And I don't just mean in the days before she left, but in the months, and years.

Sometimes when I pray, I ask God to give her messages from me. Biblically speaking, I don't think that's how things work, because I don't think she has any remembrance of her life on Earth. So if He gave her a message from me, would she even know who I am? I don't know. Maybe I won't know until I get to Heaven myself. And maybe then it won't matter because I won't remember that I ever had this thought here on Earth.

But...what if?

What if God really does relay messages?

So...I probably will write my letter and ask Him to read it to her anyway. What's there to lose, right?

I will say this...46 wasn't ALL that bad. With the bitter, God blessed me sweet.

When I was down (especially financially), friends and family came to my aid. Some folks I am still repaying, but I am thankful that they were there for me when I needed help.

When I was down while my Mom was sick, and after her life here had ended, friends, family, and especially "Joe" were right by my side to lift me up and encouraged.

And although I was out of 2 jobs, I now have one that I really enjoy. They work me HARD, but I'm glad to be working.

Oh...and there's "Joe". After being "friends" for 12 years, we finally became "more than friends" and I am thoroughly enjoying the journey with him.

So there you have it folks! Happy Birthday Eve to Me! 47...I'm ready for ya! By the way...as crazy as this sounds, I really don't know what 47 is gonna feel like because I never felt 46. Those ages SOUND so old, but I don't FEEL them AT ALL. Maybe 47 is the new 27. That's probably how I'll approach it.

Anywhoo...I am blessed, and as the song goes:

"I've had some good days
I've had some hills to climb
I've had some weary days
And some sleepless nights

But when I look around
And I think things over
All of my good days
Outweigh my bad days
I won't complain..."

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What was your BEST age?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

More MONTH than MONEY!

So the internet is off again at home and here I am at Starbucks. Can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for this place and its Free Wi-Fi. Please don't go getting the wrong idea though...I do buy something...it's just one of the least expensive items on the menu. That way I don't feel like I'm "stealing" their internet.

It's really frustrating not being about to consistently have internet at home.

Yesterday made the 2-month mark for me at my job and I still haven't been able to quite "get head. I no longer feel like I am completely drowning, yet I feel like my nose is just above the water, and for that, I am able to breathe. Still taking in a lot of water through my mouth, but I'm breathing through my nose.

This month I almost got evicted because my rent was late. Here's the story begin that:

I got paid on the 30th and had JUST ENOUGH money to cover rent and maybe gas to get me back and forth to work (that was before the gas prices started going through the roof).

I informed my property manager that I did not have enough to cover the ENTIRE rent and that I would pay 3/4 at that time, and the rest when I get paid again on the 15th. Mind you...I have lived at my residence for EIGHT years, and I am an EXELLENT tenant. You would think they'd've taken that into consideration.

Instead, I received a resound NO, and was advised that if I did NOT have the rent IN FULL on the 3rd, they would begin the eviction process.

So...there went my WHOLE check

.

Thankfully, I have a hodge-podge of food in my kitchen cupboards, so I won't be hungry. And I have enough change in my change container to get me back and forth to work until Wednesday (hopfefully). I gotta tell ya....It's rough...BUT I'm gonna make it.

According to the song, "It's hard out here for a pimp." To that I say, "Pimps ain't the only ones!!!"

How 'bout you...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Are you living "paycheck-to-almost paycheck" as I am, or are things going a bit better for you in your world?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Between You, Me & The Fence Post

So I've got this little secret, which really won't be much of a secret at all after this post (and depending on how many folks actually READ my posts).

The soon-to-be-not-so-secret-secret is that I have been "in a relationship" for the past 11 months. I know, I know...this is "pearl clutching news" to most folks. Breathe.

He and I have been friends for over 12 yrs and just last August began seeing each other on a consistent basis. He's fantastic! Makes me laugh, wipes my tears when I cry, is super-friendly (I don't think he's EVER met a stranger), extremely intelligent, tall, dark, handsome, and a whole lotta other stuff. Up until now, he's been my "well kept secret". There are probably only 10 people who know about us, if even that many. And I like it that way. We both do.

So yesterday, someone asked me why I haven't changed my relationship status on Facebook. My reply was, "What's the big deal? If it's not on Facebook does that mean that it doesn't exist?"

Her response was, "Yeah. If it's not on Facebook, then it doesn't count."

How comical is that?!?

Like, how did relationships exist BEFORE Facebook? Unlike many folks who post EVERY TIME they are IN and then OUT and then IN and OUT of relationships...I'm just not that person.

I saw a quote that said, "Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to 'Unstable'." Makes sense to me.

Anyhoo...There you have it folks. I am very happily in a relationship with my "Joe" and that's all that matters.

If I EVER change my status it will be changed to say "MARRIED". For me, any status other than that isn't anything to write home about.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's YOUR status?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Sometimes Ya Just Gotta Laugh!

Today is Day 2 of my 12 Week Weight Watchers Session.

I did a'ight yesterday...tracked all my points and walked 2.88 miles. Not too shabby if I must say so myself.

This morning -- determined to do better -- I woke up, made a nice healthy breakfast, and packed a "so-so" lunch. My lunches will be "so-so" until I get paid on the 15th and can go buy groceries. So for now...it's "make the best of whatever's in the fridge.

So I get to work "with my mind right" and I am anticipating our first "summer surprise". This is a treat that the company gives to the employees during the busy season (which we have entered early this year).

I go to lunch, come back and hear this loud commotion. I stand up and folks are walking through the office handing out our treats from POPCORNOPOLIS!!!

Really?!?

We got the caramel chocolate striped popcorn. I wanted to tear right into mine. Really, I did. But instead, my co-worker opened hers and allowed me to have ONE piece. That wasn't all that I wanted...but it was all that I needed.

So now, I have the bag in my desk drawer, plotting a way to enjoy it without over-indulging. I don't wanna completely deprive myself, but I don't wanna overdo it either.

LAWD, help me!

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's your biggest temptation when you are trying to eat healthy?

Talk to me!

Til next time.

P.S. - Please excuse any typos. I'm using the library's computer and they're shuttin' everything down in a few minutes. Thanks!

Day 1...Again

Today was the day that I decided to turn over a new leaf. Hmmm...what exactly does that mean??? I don't think I've ever actually turned over a leaf of any kind...new or old. I might just have to research that one.

But...what I did do was start my healthy lifestyle again. It came by way of joining "Weight Watchers at Work". For the next 12 weeks I will be working on the "new and improved" me, and my goal is to have 10% less of me to show for it.

Now I have to admit...my eating wasn't the BEST today, but going forward, it will be.

Oh, and in addition to joining "WW" I also rejoined my Black Girls RUN! crew and got in 2.88 miles. Felt like the toughest 2.88 miles I've ever don

e, but I got 'em in. There was once a time when I would've kept going until that distance read 3.00 miles, but tonight was NOT the night for that.

So...I'm excited about where these next 12 weeks will lead me. Hopefully into a more confident me. Hopefully.

How 'bout you...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What steps are you currently taking toward your health and wellness?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The POWER Behind the Prayer

Here are ten words that you will NEVER hear me say:

"Pray how you are led and to whomever you will."

WHAT?!? NEVER!!!

Do you know how many evil, wicked, weird things some folks are praying to? Some are praying to inanimate objects. Some are prying to shrines and candles and incense. And some...are praying to the evil one himself. Why...why would anyone ever leave themselves open like that?

Anytime I ask for prayer I am VERY specific and ONLY request prayers that are said IN THE NAME OF JESUS. That's it. In MY life, His name is the ONLY name by which there is any prayer answering power.

A couple weeks ago I had an acquaintaince mention a situation that his Dad was going through. HE...specifically asked folks NOT to pray and instead just "mediate" and "think good thoughts". Seriously?!?

I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it.

If YOU are having a situation and I do what I can to help, if praying IN THE NAME OF JESUS is what I believe will help, then THAT'S what I'm going to do. No...you don't have to know that it's what I've done, but I'm sure as heck not gonna sit here and "meditate and think good thoughts". Where is the power in that? All this new age hocus-pocus mumbo jumbo...nope, you can miss me on that.

I don't even know if I want DIALOGUE on this one, but I'll open it up anyway...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you confessed with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead? If not, I would encourage you to do so. Not later, but right now. This is my prayer for YOU, because I believe that it is what Jesus would want. Amen.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Hands OFF My Stick!!!

So I'm at the grocery store earlier this evening and I place my 5 items on the conveyor. There's a customer in front of me, and one behind. I grab a divider stick and place it in front of my items. As the customer in front of my begins paying for his items, the guy BEHIND me picks up MY stick and moves it so that my items will scoot up. THAT was odd. I just shook my head and waited for my items to get rung up. Next thing I know, "Mr. CONTROL FREAK" picks up my stick and places it between HIS items and the items BEHIND his. I shook my head again and gave him the "side-eye". I was like, "Really??? Did those few inches of conveyor space REALLY make THAT much difference in your life???"

I've never experienced like that. How frickin' RUDE!

As usual, the cashier asks, "How's your day goin'?" I respond with, "It was great until I was treated like a 2 year old who can't manage my own divider." She looked at me, I motioned my eyes toward "Mr. Type A - CONTROL FREAK MAN" and she just smiled. Maybe she's seen him do that before, but I've never had HIM or ANYBODY control the movement of MY groceries. Heck, after all that I should've just stood there and waited for him to pay for them too. Can you IMAGINE how uptight he would have been if I had taken too long to pay. MAN...that's what I should've done!

How 'bout you...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What's the oddest thing that's ever happened to YOU in a grocery store line?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Behind or Beside?

NEWSFLASH!!!

I'm no expert at love although I love being in love and I absolutely love LOVE.


With that said...I'm a little curious.

In a relationship, is it better for a woman to "stand behind" her man, or "stand by" him?

Seems to me that if she's "behind" him, then he's making all of the decisions and she is simply following. From a Christian standpoint, that's the way it's supposed to be. She follows her husband and he follows Christ.

If we take Christianity out of them mix though, then we are back to: is it better for her to be behind him or beside him.

Something about walking beside him just screams EQUAL PARTNERSHIP, whereas walking behind doesn't seem as EQUAL.

I'm not sure if there's a right or wrong answer, simply me and my curiosity.

What say you?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Do you think there is a difference in a relationship between standing behind or beside your partner? If so, what's the difference and which do you prefer?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Who Needs a Matching Set Anyway?

So I was washing dishes earlier and realized that I only have FIVE spoons, TWO knives and NO forks. I was a bit perplexed wondering how this happened.

As I thought about it a little longer, a memory of my mother quickly popped into my mind. I remembered how she would go to thrift stores and buy used silverware. Probably for about 10 cents per piece...maybe a quarter at the most. At the time, I thought it to be a bit odd. WHY would anyone ever want someone else's USED silverware??? I don't think that any TWO pieces in her drawer matched and thought it was kinda weird.

Now I realize that that was just one of the many UNIQUE, carefree characteristics that made up my mother. As I type these words I am a bit ashamed of the way that didn't always understand her while she was here. Now...all I wanna do is HUG her and say, "I get it."

As you can probably guess...I will be heading to the local thrift store in the very near future and will stock up on some "not-so-new" silverware. As long as I wash it thoroughly, it'll be fine. It never hurt my mother and it certainly won't hurt me.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What is the oddest thing that you've ever purchased from a thrift store?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Quirks...We All have at LEAST One, right?

So I was cleaning my bathroom the other day and part of my routine is to pick up the towel that's next to the bathtub. That's the towel that's used to step on when one gets out of the tub or shower.

I do this DAILY, well...because that's how often we bathe around here. ;-)

What I realized though is that not everybody does the whole "daily towel removal" thingy because most folks have a pretty little matching bathroom rug set that includes the toilet seat cover, the thingy that goes at the bottom of the toilet, and the rug for the tub. I think that all of those things are GROSS! Yes folks, I've just shared with you another one of my quirks (of which there are many).

I have this thing about stepping on stuff with my bare feet, which is why I always wear socks in the house. My house. Your house. Doesn't matter...I'm WEARING some socks!

So I just can't do the whole, stepping on the same bathtub rug day after day after day. Nope. No can do. And what EXACTLY is that thing around the base of the toilet for anyway??? I almost think I don't wanna know.

Now there IS *ONE* rug in my bathroom, but it's never stepped on WET. It's in front of my sink and I stand on it WITH SOCKS ON. I sometimes have to stand for a long time (especially if I'm doing my hair) and my socks on the hard floor gets a bit uncomfortable after a while. So...there's a rug.

How 'bout you?

Let the DIALOGUE begin: You may be ok with the whole bathroom rug set thingy, but what other quirk(s) do YOU have?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Let's Talk about Hair!

So a couple weeks ago I went and got my hair done professionally. The last time I had my hair done was November 22, 2014 -- the day of my Mom's Homegoing service.

Although I love wearing my hair pressed...my pressed hair doesn't love me. When pressed, my hair now goes from Europe back to Africa in about 60 seconds flat. It just doesn't wanna stay straight anymore. I don't know if it's because I've been wearing it "natural" since March 1, 2013, or if my hair has simply changed. Who knows?

Anyhoo...back to my visit to the salon a couple weeks ago.

I got my hair in a "rod set." It was something that I'd been curious about for a while so finally went ahead a did it. Cost me $45 and I loved the immediate result. What I didn't expect (although I should have since this hair has been on my head for 40+ years now, so nothing it does should surprise me) was how quickly it got fuzzy. I even bought one of those satin bonnets. My hair wasn't havin' it and STILL frizzed up. And it got sooo kinky. The coils from the rods just got tighter and tighter until they were just these tiny little kinks all over my head. And they were sooo difficult to untangle. Even when I washed my hair, they were still there. *Sigh*

Finally, after I don't know how many washes later, I got rid of the tangles. Finally.

I still wasn't ready to press my hair again, and I also didn't have another $45 to get my hair done (I just got paid on the 30th and I am OUT OF CASH until the 15th. Sad...I know...but 100% true.)

So last night I thought I'd try something new. I washed my hair and twisted it in little sections. I think in "natural hair" terms that's called a "twist out".

So I twisted it and hoped that it would dry. My hair is super thick and takes FOREVER to dry.

So here I am with all these little twists all over my head and wouldn't you know it..."Joe" shows up. That dude! Funny...when he got here he asked why I hadn't called him earlier. I didn't say anything...just pointed to my head. He shook his. I know that how my hair looks doesn't matter to him, but it matters to me, so...

At about 2:00 I decided to see the final result. Let me tell YOU...it came out KEE-YOOT!!! I love it! I love the fact that #1...it was FREE, and #2...it actually looks nice. No tight kinky coils, just waviness all over my head. Joe used an interesting adjective...he said it looked "comfortable". That was new. But he liked it. He loves my hair anyway I wear it but I think he really does like natural styles the best. He's not really a weaves and braids kinda guy, and I love that about him. Actually, it's one of the MANY things that I love about him...but I'll write about that more later.

I was gonna post a pic of my hair, but I'm too laze to work on getting the right angle. Then I thought I'd look for one on Google Images and use that. But...I can't find one that looks EXACT. What I did learn though by looking for a pic is that my hair is 4A natural, with a patch of 4C (maybe even D) in the middle. That stuff is NAPPY. It trips me out because the rest of my hair is not like that. Just that patch in the middle that's straight outta Africa. That patch just doesn't play well with the rest of my hair. It's about 2 inches shorter than the rest and so very coarse. I just don't get it.

Anywhoo...for my natural sistahs out there...

Let the DIALOGUE begin: What type is YOUR natural hair and do you style it yourself or go to a salon regularly?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

13 Days Until...

July. Month of my birth.

This year its arrival is bittersweet.

I've always loved the month of July and the many birthday celebrations that take place throughout. Yes...I'm one of "those" people who celebrates their birthday from the FIRST day of the month to the LAST. I simply LOVE celebrating this LIFE that God has given me. Not that everyday isn't cause for celebration, but there's just something special for me about the actual MONTH.

So as much as I am anticipating the arrival of July 14th, I'm not quite sure at this very moment how kind the day will be for me. You see...every birthday, for as long as I can remember, my mother would sing me "The special birthday song". Every year...without fail. No matter how old I got...I could count on hearing that song. I never realized just how special it was until November 9, 2014 when my Mom left her life here on Earth and began her eternal life in Heaven. Hearing her sing the song on July 14th, 2014 was the last time I will ever hear her sing it (at least in THIS life anyway).

So at this very moment in time, I just don't know what to expect. I pray that I'll be ok. Perhaps I'll spend the day reflecting on the life of the woman who brought me into this world. Then again...that might NOT be such a good idea because it'll probably make me cry. And there's no crying on your birthday, right?

We'll see.

Anyhoo...we have 13 more days to go. If you're reading this and you're one of my friends...holla at cha girl on the 14th please. I'm gonna need a WHOLE LOTTA love on that day.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: If your Mom is no longer with us here on Earth, how long has it been? Have you had a birthday without her yet?

Talk to me!

Til next time...