EXPLICABLE Peace

After 5 years of employment, today was my last day at work.

I've known for a while that this day was coming.

Wasn't sure exactly how I'd handle things once the day finally got here. All in all, I think I did well. Kept the goodbyes short and sweet 'cause I didn't want to turn into a puddle of mush and cry all over the place. My co-workers were the best there are, and I will miss them greatly. Saying long goodbyes would've been waaay too much for me to handle.

With the debt crisis of this country looming overhead, and the unemployment rate shooting through the roof, now is probably the worst time EVER to be unemployed.

Having 3 kids, 2 of whom are in college and have expenses to be taken care of, along with a teen-aged son who is outgrowing shoes & clothes by leaps and bounds...you would think that I would be freakin' out over this.

To the contrary...I haven't missed a wink of sleep, and I have a calm that's almost abnormal. I am at such peace. Not inexplicable peace though...no, my peace is very EXPLICABLE. I am completely aware of where the peace is coming from...and so for me, that explains it all.

I am a woman of great faith. Great Christian faith. Faith and trust in my all powerful God. My God who is GREATER than unemployment. My God who is GREATER than this crappy debt crisis that our country is in. My God is GREATER than those things, and so much more.

Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Omnipresent. Those are His characteristics! So why should I fear?

Times like these are what help me to know without a doubt that His word is true. I read my Bible daily. Some days I don't feel like the message is really sinking in. But I realize that what I'm taking in spiritually each day is the nourishment that I need to get through times like these. Kinda like polar bears...I've stored up enough of God's word to "get me through the winter" so to speak.

I don't know how long this winter is going to last, but He has given me two great pieces of scripture already that I've stored up for such a time as this:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

and

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I'm sure that as I travel along on this journey there will be many more scriptures added to my "arsenal". I am going to need them all.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! How do you deal with adversity and hardship? Where does YOUR peace come from?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Stuff Happens

Over the years I've come across a lot of people. Some have been good for me. Others...not so good.

The ones who have been "not so good" all have the same thing in common. Yet a new person could come into my life and do this same common thing that the others have done. Just that simple.

So I am reminded of a phrase that I've heard a number of times: People will only do to you what you allow them to do.

Is this really true?

These people who share a commonality in my life were all in my life at different times. They don't know each other, yet they've all done the same thing.

Is that because I allowed them, or is it just the way that things played out?

Certainly, when I met these people I didn't say, "Now I'm going to create a situation so that this person does exactly the same thing that 'Person X' did".

No, it never went down like that? So then, my question is...WHY did it end up the same way each time?

I dunno. Not sure if there's even an answer to the question.

Guess it's just one of those nights where I'm throwing my random thought out there, wondering if anything will come back.

And with that...Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you buy into that whole "People will only do to you what you allow them to do" school of philosophy, or do think that sometimes, stuff just happens...again, and again, and again?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Maybe I AM my Hair

So the science project continues and I think I've finally gotten it right. I "wet-set" my hair last night and rolled it up on little curlers. Let my hair "air dry" overnight and took the curlers out this morning. LOVED the result. Super curly, still a bit "big" for my taste, but waaay cute. I've got this cute curly afro goin' and as my kids say, "It's poppin'".

Went to my parents house to wish my dad a happy birthday and my mom said, "Aww, look at your hair, it's so cute. Did you get it done?" That made me feel sooo good. I said, "Nope. I did it myself". She really liked it. Said that she could never wear her hair like this though cause she's got so much hair and the curls would just fall...which is absolutley true with her hair.

She asked me how I did it and I told her. She just shook her head when I told her that I washed it last night and it was dry by this morning...without sitting under a dryer. That is an absolute IMPOSSIBILITY for my mom. If she ever "air-dried" her hair it would be wet for days. Way too long...and waaay too thick.

So all in all, it was a GREAT day for my hair. Now for the challenge. I've been on vacation for a while and I go back to work tomorrow. This is not quite the hair style for "Corporate America", but since I don't service customers face-to-face, I'm thinkin' that it'll be okay. I mean, if Black women in our office wear braids, I don't see why I shouldn't be able to wear my hair "natural". We'll see.

But all of this hair stuff got me to wondering...maybe I AM my hair. Mind you, I didn't trip when it fell out a while back, and I was totally open to the fact that I may have had to start wearing wigs because of the hair loss, but the thought never bothered me. Hair or no hair, I was still the same person.

Now, with all of the changes that I've had with my hair, I kinda feel like the changes are somewhat reflective of me. Some days it's straight and I wear it down, letting it blow in the wind. Other times, it's straight but I wear it in a ponytail (my most common style). Other times, I do wear it "natural", but it's all tied down because it's really big if not tied down. And now, I'm wearing it "natural" and free. Not tying anything down. Just lettin' it "do what it do". And I LIKE it.

So just as my moods sometimes change like the wind, I guess my hair is entitled to do the same. As much as I like the India Arie song, "I am not my hair"...maybe, just maybe...I AM my hair...and that's not such a bad thing.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you been wearing the same hairstyle for years? If so, do you want to change it? And if so, what's keeping you from changing it?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Which BOOK?

Today while I was watching television, I saw a commercial for a show that I wanted to record. I clicked on the "record" button, and a notice popped up alerting me that there was not enough room and that I needed to go to "the prioritizer" to make some space. Basically, get rid of what I don't need, so that I can make space for what I wanted.

I don't know why, but this made me think about my everyday life and where my "priorities" are. It brought me to Facebook and how much time I spend there, in comparison to how much time I spend where I should be...in God's Book.

I'm not a Facebook addict by any stretch of the imagination. I don't have a smart phone so I don't have instant access. I don't log on at work, so that only leaves home.

But I'm finding that it's the first thing I do when I walk in the door. Sadly, it's the first thing that my daughters also do when they walk in the door. Houston...we have a problem. Somethin's gotta change.

So I asked myself this question: Do I spend more time on Facebook than I do reading God's Book...The Bible?

Most days, the answer is that I spend an equal amount of time with the two, yet some days, I don't open my Bible at all...but I'm sure to check Facebook. That is sooo not cool!

For me, it's time to rearrange my "prioritizer". Facebook does not give me direction for my life. It does not comfort me in times of trouble. It does not give me hope. It does not tell me that I am loved. It does not tell me how to love those who have hurt me. It does not tell me that I am forgiven. It does not tell me how to live a life that is pleasing and acceptable to the God I serve. Nor, is it supposed to.

I am by no means knocking Facebook. It was not meant to do any of the above. It is merely serving the purpose for which it was created, and it's doing a heck of a job.

My Bible on the other hand does all of the things mentioned above, yet I am giving it equal time with Facebook. For me, something is very wrong with that picture. So...I'm changing the picture.

One log in a day, and that's it. That's all I need really. I've never been a big "poster" or "commenter" anyway, so I won't miss much by logging on only once a day. This will be good for me...I can already tell.

So how 'bout you? Let the DIALOGUE begin! Where do you spend more time...Facebook, or God's Book...The Bible?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

My Science Project

As a Black woman I have many challenges with this stuff that grows out of my head...my HAIR.

As a little girl, I, like most little Black girls, wished I had "good hair". My mother (who does have "good hair"), would snap back at me and say, "Stop saying that! You DO have "good hair". If you have hair on your head then you have "good hair". So I don't want to hear that anymore!"

Well...that settled that.

Over the years I've had many many styles. Long, short, straight, relaxed, braids (once), never a weave...unless you count the extra hair that was added when I had my braids (which by the way, I only left in for a week because they were waaay too heavy on my head. I don't know HOW women wear those things for months). If so, then I guess we can check off "1" in the weave category.

I like my hair and I am thankful for it. For those who've followed the blog for any time you'll recall my hair loss a little over a year ago as a result of great stress that I was under at work. Never in my life had I experience anything like that. First, one patch. Then another. Then another. And it stopped with patch #4. FOUR huge bald patches in my hair because my body didn't know how to react to the stress that it was abnormally under.

Thankfully, my situation at work changed and with the change, my hair grew back. What a "coinky-dink".

Usually, I wear my hair straight. "Pressed" as Black people call it. And when it's "pressed" it's long and flowy...bouncin' and behavin'. Really pretty.

But recently, with the onset of Summer, I thought I'd try a "new thing". I thought I'd try wearing my hair "natural"...the way it grows out of the follicle. No heat applied.

Gotta tell ya...this has been a REAL science project. Who knew that wearing my hair "natural" was going to be such a challenge.

Yeah, I could do the "wash & go" thing, but when I do that, it's not pretty. Maybe after years of "pressing" my hair it's lost it's natural curl. So it ends up just looking stringy, like rats have sucked on it. Not quite the look I'm goin' for.

My kids keep describing my new look as "wild". Ummm,no...wild isn't gonna work for me.

I've asked some of my friends who wear their hair natural to advise me on the hair care products they use. I'VE TRIED THEM ALL. My bathroom looks like a beauty supply store. Yet I've still not been able to get my desired result.

I've even watched You Tube videos of women applying the product and showing their end result, but the problem with that is that the women are either "mixed" so they have naturally curly hair anyway, or they have very kinky hair. My hair lives at the intersection of the two.

So the search continues and through lots of "trial and error" I will hopefully get the naturally curly look that I'm goin' for...before Fall sets in (which is when I will probably go back to straightening my hair). We shall see.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is there a hair style that you've been trying to get but haven't quite been able to perfect it yet?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

PRAYER...plain and simple

Today I felt the need to post about PRAYER. Not because it's Sunday, because for me, prayer is an everyday event, and often occurs many times throughout the day.

I have a friend who I hadn't heard from in a while and I had become concerned. It wasn't normal for this person to just drop out of contact. The more I thought about the person, the more concerned I became, until I got to the point where I had to stop what I was doing, and PRAY. For me, prayer always gives me comfort and calms me down.

About 10 minutes after my prayer, I from my friend. TEN minutes! And the prayer was answered. Just another reassurance for me that PRAYER WORKS!

Mind you, prayer is not a magic wand that you can just wave, and all that you ask comes to pass. Prayer is unique in every circumstance. Some prayers are answered immediately, some take a bit longer to be answered, and there are others to which I never (or have yet) to receive an answer.

This doesn't mean that God has not already answered the prayers, it just means that I have not received the answer.

For me, prayer is a vital part of my day. And on a typical day, I pray many times. As soon as I open my eyes in the morning...I pray. Before I go to sleep at night...I pray. And somewhere, during those hours between waking up & going back to sleep...I pray. In the car. Washing dishes. Folding clothes. Shopping. At work. Wherever I am, no matter what time of day...if the desire to pray comes upon me...I do it.

Contrary to what many think, prayer doesn't have to be some long drawn out process. Sometimes, I simply say "thank you" to God. And that's the entire prayer. Other times, the prayer is more lengthy because I begin recollecting all that God has done and continues to do for me.

Every prayer is different. In a nutshell, Prayer, is plain and simple.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! When was the last time you prayed?

Talk to me (better yet...talk to God FIRST, then talk to me)!

Til next time...

SEW What?

I like to think of myself as a "creative", "artsy fartsy" type. I love to write. I love to sing. I love photography (capturing time just as it is at that moment). And I love to sew even though I haven't sewn a thing in YEARS.

After my visit with "Dr. Doom (the retina specialist)" back in 2009, I didn't want to do anything that had to do with my eyes. I felt like, why bother, since I wasn't going to be able to see for much longer anyway...according to his diagnosis. So, I didn't want to watch movies. I didn't want to read books (the only book I read is my Bible, and I thank God EVERYDAY that I can still see the words on the page). And I certainly didn't want to sew.

Looking back now, I realize what stupid decisions those were. How many movies have I missed out on? How many great books? And how many lovely hand-made creations have gone un-created because I stopped sewing??? Too many!

I had to snap out of that mentality quick, fast, and in a hurry and remind myself of He who created these eyes, He who sustains my vision EVERY DAY!

As soon as I did that, I was back in business.

I have been so inspired recently by my two nieces Nicole & Brandyce, and all of the lovely creations they've sewn. Nicole has an amazing talent for knitting and sewing. You can check out her lovely creations at www.knitcole.com

Brandyce will have her own Etsy shop soon.

So you see, I have inspiration all around me and I have decided to sew again. The big guestion was, SEW what?

And then it came to me. I'm not yet ready to reveal what it is that I'll be making but as soon as I complete the first one, I'll post it here in "The Den".

Now, Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you sew? If so, what's your favorite thing to make?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

A Snail with a Purpose

After yesterday's post I was reminded of this picture that I took back on April 12, 2010.

In an effort to prove that I "practice what I preach", when it comes to taking life slowly, and enjoying the beauty in EVERYTHING, I decided to share the story that went along with my little friend, "the snail". Here is the story exactly as I shared it on my FB profile over a year ago. Enjoy.

***

ok, so allow me to share my story about this picture, and why this little snail has become so significant to me. It's amazing the way that God will speak to us in whatever way He feels necessary in order to get our attention. For me, this morning, it was this little snail. I almost stepped on it as I was rushing to the car to get everybody off to where they had to go (our typical routine). But for some reason, even after getting in the car and about to drive off, I had to get out and go back to this snail. There it was, just doin' it's thing. Calm as could be. With no idea that it so narrowly missed being crushed just moments earlier. That snail didn't have a care in the world. It just sat there enjoying one of the leaves that had fallen off of the trees from last night's rain. Oh, to be that little snail. Just for a moment. And oh the lesson I learned by just getting out of the car and going back to look at it, even if it was for only a few moments. That little snail got me to do what I never do on a Monday, or any other day during my weekly routine of rushing to and fro. That snail, got me to SLOW DOWN. And in a very small amount of time I saw so much. I realized that even though that snail was "just a snail", God still cared enough about it to drop a leaf from the tree with fresh drops from the rain to provide some nourshment. And I'm sure that the snail wasn't worrying about where the next leaf would come from, it was just there, because God cares for all of His creatures, great and small. And if He cares enough about that lowly little snail, then surely He cares even more for you and me. So of the many things that I thank God for each and every day, I never thought I'd be thanking Him for allowing me to cross the path of a slimy little snail...but today I do. Who knows...maybe somebody minutes later came and actually did step on it. It wasn't there when I got home. I didn't expect it to be. But I'll always have this picture to remind me of the slow little snail that got ME to Slow Down. Maybe that's all that it was ever meant to do. So job well done my little snail friend. Job well done. And for those of you who think I'm "off my rocker" for sharing this little story, that's ok...you're entitled. But for most of you who actually "get me" and what I'm about, then this little story should come as no surprise. This life is whizzing by at lightning speed. Let's take time to make time and enjoy it along with all the beauty that it has to offer. I know I will.

***

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What gets YOU to slow down?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The (unnecessary) Need for Speed

Well folks, I think I'm about to make the switch. Problem is, I'm not sure where to go.

What am I switching? Grocery stores.

I may have posted a while ago about how perturbed I get at the grocery store when even before they say hello, they ask for my "club card". Urgh! I think that's just so rude. I understand that "in their minds", they're doing me a favor, making sure that I get my savings, but I can get my savings at the end of the transaction as easily as at the beginning. So what's the rush? Let's GREET each other FIRST...THEN, I'll swipe my card.

NOW, in addition to the demand for my "club card", the checkers are being TIMED. From the first item that's swiped until the till closes, they're being timed. If they're too chatty, that's points off. So now, all that's heard is a series of beeps as the items are being scanned. So impersonal.

While I was in the store this evening I felt sorry for the woman who rang me up. In line behind me was another employee of the store. While the checker was ringing me up, she's asking the other employee how it is that he's able to ring people up so quickly. His response, "I don't talk".

Her response, with a hint of sadness in her voice was , "Oh, so I'm talking too much? That's it?" I could tell she was worried.

Now this woman is one of the friendliest checkers in the store, if not THE friendliest, which is part of the reason why I go to her line. Now, because of corporate mandate and the new "need for speed", she's going to have to change who she is in order to keep her job. Sad, sad, sad.

What's wrong with "corporate America"!?!

I understand that at the end of the day the bottom dollar is all that matters, but REALLY...now the employee has to become a ROBOT?

Yep. Sadly, that's where we are.

So as I grabbed my bags, I bid Leila (the checker) a good night, told her to keep being herself and to tell corporate that she is not a robot.

I know, I know. There's no way that she'll tell them that. She needs her job. But there's nothing to stop ME from telling corporate, is there?

As for where I'll go next...well, that's up in the air because once one chain implements a policy it seems that they all do. Guess we'll just have to wait and see where I end up.

Let the DIALOGE begin! Yes, here, we can talk for as long as we like. No time restraints...just free flowing conversation. Have YOU noticed the need for speed in your everyday transactions? Maybe at the bank, or the grocery store, or the doctor's office?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Oops!

Uh oh. How did this happen? I missed posting yesterday. And I've been on such a roll.

Somewhere, between waiting for my kids to come home, and waiting to hear from a friend about the night's plans...I forgot to blog. Used to happen all the time, but those times are few and far between now.

So how 'bout we switch things up a bit today?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you have a blog? If so, what's it about? What's it called? Do you blog daily, weekly, monthly???

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Happy 43 to ME!!!

43 years ago today I made my grand entrance into the world.

On Sunday, the 14th day of the 7th month at 1421 hours (that's 2:21 p.m.)

I'm not a "numbers" person, but I've always loved the day of my birth. It's FILLED with SEVENS.

My birth month is a 7.
My birth date 14, is a multiple of 7.
The time of my birth (in military time) is 1421. Again, multiples of 7.
I was born in '68. Add those up you get 14. A multiple of 7.

Most folks call the number 7 "lucky". I don't believe in luck though. I believe in God. Seven is His number of completion. I am complete.

Hey, how 'bout this...I'm 43 now. Add those up, what do you get?

I don't know what's in store for me in this 43rd year of my life, but I am praying and believing for the BEST. I am READY for the BEST.

My birthday verse is Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

That's a PROMISE, and I am standing on the promises of God today, and everyday!

After 43 years, I don't know that I can say that I'm where I want to be, but I do know that I could be in a position and condition that's a whole lot worse.

There's a radio announcer named Levi, and he always says this, "I'm doing better than some, not as good as others".

And one of the ministers at my church says, "We're in good shape, for the shape we're in."

I agree with both.

Now if you haven't figured me out by now...I am GRATEFUL.

Grateful to be able to SEE the words as I am typing them on the page. That alone is blessing enough. Yet I am blessed in so many more ways, I simply can not count them all. To count them would be impossible.

So for now, to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I simply say THANK YOU! I pray that my life be one that is pleasing and acceptable in Your sight today, tomorrow, and forevermore. In Jesus' name, Amen.

My birthday song is: Glorious by Martha Munizzi. Yes, I was created to make His praise Glorious!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What "non-traditional" thing do you do to celebrate YOUR birthday?

Talk to me (c'mon, it's my birthday after all)!

Til next time...

Soaring with Eagles (not chickens)

After being a mom for 21 years I've taught many lessons to my children, and have learned quite a few (from them) as well.

All in all, I HAVE GREAT KIDS!

I know, I know...every parent says that about their children, but I...REALLY DO HAVE GREAT KIDS, and everyone who knows me, and knows my children, says the very same thing. Absolute BLESSINGS!

How did they get to be the wonderful people who they've become thus far? Well, I give credit to God first, and then I do my part.

I've taught them to ALWAYS put God FIRST.
I've taught them to have respect...for others, and for themselves.
I've taught them to have compassion for others. And I've been brought to tears many times when I have witnessed that compassion being displayed. Talk about a "proud momma moment".
I've taught them that the ONLY One greater than they are is God.

The list goes on and on.

Another thing I've taught them is to watch who they hang around.

Even the best of kids can find themselves in trouble if they surround themselves with trouble. So I'm always telling them to be mindful of who they're hanging around with and what they are doing when they're with certain people.

My 13 year old son is the one who I really try to instill this philosophy in. He makes great grades in school, speaks often in church, is interested in things that most kids his age don't know anything about and is an all around good kid. Oh, and did I mention that he's already written a book. 300+ pages!!!

So I have this saying that I came up with and I think he gets it. I tell him this:

Soar with EAGLES, not CHICKENS because chickens get ate.

I know, "ate" is not the grammatically correct word..."eaten" is, but I like it the way it is. We've NEVER had eagle for dinner. Eagles soar, and are too swift to be caught and served up on anybody's plate. Chickens however...well, just ask yourself this...when was the last time you had CHICKEN?

Have I made my point?

So, that's just a small bit of my "motherly wisdom" that I have imparted upon my children.

Hopefully that wisdom will resonate with them long after they become mothers and fathers themselves.

One can only hope.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you have any unique words of wisdom that you share with your children, or anyone else who you think needs to hear them?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

When hurt people hurt people, everybody gets hurt.

For all of my adult life I've lived in an apartment.

First in a tiny little one bedroom in Gardena.

Then into a little bit larger one bedroom in Long Beach, 3 blocks from the beach. Nice.

Then we outgrew our one bedroom & needed a two-bedroom. We stayed in Long Beach but moved further inland.

The laundry arrangement didn't work for us there, so we moved around the corner into a unit with the exact same layout only we had much better laundry accommodations.

After living there for 13 years we were abruptly informed that we had to move. No fault of our own, I think the landlord was simply ready to get us out so that he could get someone new in and charge twice the amount for rent.

So, we found ourselves on the move again and have been at our current residence for the past 5 years.
For the first 4 years I'd say that things were "ok"..."livable".
But lately, we've had a whole different element moving in and it makes things just a wee bit uncomfortable.

Early Saturday morning (around 2:30 to be exact), I heard an engine running outside of my bedroom window. I peek out and there's police car. Lovely. Then, I realize that there's another, louder engine running nearby. I go into the living room, peek out, and there's a fire truck. Fantastic. What's the drama now???

Well, it turns out that a former tenant who was apparently asked to move out recently decided that he would come back and vandalize our laundry-room for revenge. Yep! He cut hoses, busted pipes, water was EVERYWHERE! And now, the laundry room is closed for who knows how long. Doesn't bode well for me & mine...a family of 4 with laundry piling up to the ceiling.

And the thought of trudging over to a laundromat...YECKH!

So the whole incident left wondering. WHY did he do it?

I mean, really...I get that he's "P-O'd" with management, but did he REALLY have to take it out on the rest of the tenants who still live here? I never did anything to him, yet I am being inconvenienced by his anger.

Bottom line, as the title of today's post states: When hurt people hurt people, everybody gets hurt.

And where is the "win-win" for the vandal? Yeah, he may have gotten satisfaction from breaking stuff but now, he's locked up. Was it really worth it???

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever been hurt directly by someone's anger that was meant to harm someone else?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Life is changing and Life is GOOD

I don't know what's come over me lately, but I am finding myself doing so many things that I never would've done before.

First, there was the "friend request" thingy. I proactively sent a few instead re-actively responding to the ones that I receive. This was big for me because of the whole possible "rejection" thing, but I did it anyway and guess what...people have confirmed. Guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Then, there was the swimsuit/pool thingy. I hadn't worn a swimsuit nor been in a pool for longer than I could remember. On July 4th, that streak was over, and it felt GREAT!

Yesterday, I did another "new" thing. I WENT TO THE BEACH!!! Yep, I sure did! I mean really, it just doesn't make sense to live in Southern Cali, pretty much 20 minutes away from 4 different beaches, and NEVER go. What kinda sense does that make? ZERO!!!

There are people who dream of dipping their feet into the ocean, walking along the sandy shores, catching a wave. Yet they never get the chance. Me, I could do this EVERYDAY if I want, yet I haven't done it since I was a child. WHAT is wrong with me?!?

So yesterday I hopped in the car & headed west til I could see the ocean. There it was! Mind you, it wasn't the prettiest day for the beach. Kind of interesting because when I left my home the sky was blue and it was a beautiful day for the beach. But when I get to the beach, the sky is just a "blah" grey. Nothing "pretty" about it. That didn't stop me though. I had come this far and was NOT about to turn back.

So I parked the car, and trudged through the sand (broke a sweat just doing THAT), and kept it truckin'. Got to the wet sand and just stood there for a minute. WOW! I'm REALLY here.

I walked a little further in until the first wave rolled in and gave me that initial shock of cold. Brrr. After a few more rolled in I adjusted and just stood there letting wave after wave roll in.

Now if you're thinking that I'm out there in my swimsuit, think again. I haven't quite made it to that level of bravery...not yet. I had on a skirt that I quickly realized was waaay too long for the beach. See, the thing about waves is that they don't all roll in at the same level. You can be standing in the same spot and a wave can roll in and not even reach your feet. The next one, may come all the way up to your butt (as I very quickly and unexpectedly learned), and some, if you're not paying attention will go completely over you. Not all in that order, but that's how waves are. "Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

So there I am in my skirt, soaked, and having a ball. I wrote my name in the sand, even wrote the blog's name in the sand.

At one point my heart even raced a little when I spotted two fins sticking out of the water. Uh oh! What the???

Turns out that the fins belonged to two dolphins swimming by. Jumping in and out of the water, just minding their own business, doing what dolphins do. So cool!

I collected a nice little assortment of seashells, and headed home, with a smile on my face all the way.

So as I said at the beginning, I really don't know what's come over me but it feels so great. I've really felt the desire to LIVE lately. My birthday is coming up this Thursday, and I realize that I haven't REALLY lived. I've just been "existing". Well those days of "existing" are over for me. My life is changing and I'm finding that life is GOOD.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you LIVING or just existing? And when was the last time you went to the beach?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Shopping Spree, not for ME

I've always thought myself to be a bit "different", and when it comes to shopping, the same holds true.

Many women absolutely drool over the thought of going shopping. Regardless of whether they actually NEED anything, they will shop, "just because".

Not me. I shop primarily out of necessity, not desire.

Maybe it stems from the fact that my funds are extremely limited, so I only purchase what absolutely NEEDS to be purchased.

But even on the rare occasions (and I mean VERY rare) when I do have a little extra in my pocket, I still don't have the desire to run to the nearest mall or outlet store.

I mean some women actually make shopping an "event". They gather up the girls and off they go, $CHA-CHING$.

And when there's a crisis, where do they go...to the STORES for some "retail therapy". As if spending money will make the crisis go away. For me, it would only make things worse. Now, not only would there be a crisis, but I'd be out of money. Not a "win-win" in my book.

So for me, when it comes to a shopping spree, I'll pass.

Offer me a good meal, or a concert though, and I'm THERE!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you a "shop-a-holic"?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Tough LOVE

Yesterday I got into a little tiff with my oldest child, my 21 year old GROWN child. Hey, isn't that an oxymoron...."GROWN child". Well, I have one of those.

She's an awesome child (yes, I say child because to ME, she is...my child).

She's in her 3rd year of college, has 2 jobs, sings on the Praise Team at church, and is simply an all around great person.

So you're probably asking, "What's the problem?"

The problem is that I need her to start being "responsible" so that she does not experience culture shock, or maybe I should call it "reality shock" when she's finally out on her own.

She still lives here with me and I think I make life pretty easy for her. She pays for NOTHING. In case you didn't catch that, I said NOTHING.

She has her own car which her dad pays for, and they have an arrangement where she pays for the insurance. Not a bad deal if ya ask me.

But that's it. Her only expense.

So I figured, hmmm, 21 and on the phone ALL THE TIME...how bout I make her pay for her portion of the phone bill. THAT'S IT. Just HER portion, which works out to $15.99/mo.

As you can probably tell, we don't have fancy "smart phones". No folks, we just have phones that ring. Okay...and text. But that's IT. I can not afford a smartphone with a data plan...not for myself, and certainly not for any of my kids. My budget/income keeps things very simple and basic.

So I tell her that I want her to start paying for her portion of the bill each month. Oh-Emm-Gee!!! You would THINK I asked for an ARM. So we get into it and she tells me that she "doesn't even like the phone, so why should she pay for it?"

Are you kidding me? Is this kid serious??? She doesn't like the phone, but she's on it ALL THE TIME!

So I say, "Fine, if you don't like the phone then we can cancel your line and you can get what you want on your own."

She says, "Yeah, let's do that."

I say, "Okay, you cough up the early termination fee and we'll do that."

She says, "How much is that?"

I tell her and she says, "No, I don't wanna do that."

I DIDN'T THINK SO!

Now we're back to square one. She still doesn't understand why I need her to pay me each month.

I say, "Fine. I'm going to have to treat you like the phone company would. I'm about to shut it off."

She looks at me and knows that I am NOT playin'. No sir-ee! She huffs and puffs some more, mumbles some things under her breath about me being unreasonable, and all the while I am online shuttin' her line DOWN.

After about 10 minutes, she comes out of her room, looks at me, shakes her head, and says, "I can not believe you."

I looked right back and reminded her ONCE AGAIN...that I DO NOT PLAY.

Well, the next morning she wakes up, gets ready for work and tosses $16.00 at me, then says, "I need my phone back on in an hour".

Oh REALLY???

Again, I told her that I was going to treat her like the phone company, "Your service will be restored when it gets restored...PERIOD."

I turned it back on eventually, and hoped that she had learned her lesson. I guess we won't really know until next month when it's time for her to pay me again.

Oh, the lessons that we are forced to teach our children. Some easy, some tough, but they are all taught in LOVE.

Let's DIALOGUE: Who have you had to teach tough LOVE to lately?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Shhh...Quiet Time in Progress

Here's my day:
Wake up
Have breakfast (maybe)
Get ready for work
Hop on the Freeway (which doesn't feel very "free")
Sit in traffic for 45 minutes to an hour
Work
Hop back on the Freeway to head back home
Maybe stop at the grocery store if there's nothing at home to cook
Get home around 7:00
Make dinner
Interact with the kids
Maybe watch 1 hour of TV
Maybe spend 1 hour (total) on the computer (Facebook, Blogging, Email, Ebay)
Read a chapter in the Bible
Shower
Go to bed

That's a typical SUMMER day. During school months we'd have to add dropping 2 kids off at 2 separate schools, picking them up after, and helping with homework.

And on Tuesdays, we're at Bible Study from 7:15p until around 8:45p. So the schedule varies.

Makes for very hectic days either way it goes.

A few days ago, I think it may have been Sunday, a friend of mine brought an article to my attention. The article was about making "quiet time". As soon as I read it I knew that this was something I REALLY needed to do.

Now the quiet time can be used for whatever. If you want to just sit in a quiet room somewhere, you can. If you want to listen to music, you can. If you want to make this a spiritual experience and maybe spend the time praying, or studying God's word, you can. The KEY is to carve out the time, and to do this for 30 days.

The article suggested starting with 15 minutes.

So on Tuesday that's what I did. I was very surprised to see how quickly 15 minutes goes by. Yesterday, I did the same. Then I realized...15 minutes isn't really enough. So I've decided to add a minute each day.

On Tuesday, I checked with my friend to see how it went. I think she may be having a tough time finding time. That's ok. She'll find the time, when she's ready.

For me, I'm committed. I'm gonna stick with it until the 30 days are up.

Not sure what I'm expecting at the end of the 30 days, but I'll never know what's in store unless I go through with this all the way.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you make it a point to carve out some "quiet time" in your day? How long do you give yourself? Is there a certain spot where you go each time?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Gone Fishin'

(Grab your coffee, you're gonna be here a while with this one)

If you live in Southern California, then you've been stuck in plenty of traffic. Especially if you travel in the mornings or in the evenings as I do. Tell me, what comes to mind when I list the following:

105, 405, 605, 91, 110, 710

The answer: TRAFFIC!!! Slow moving, practically non-moving TRAFFIC.

But every now and then, that traffic serves a purpose and actually proves to be beneficial. Today, was one of those days.

It was 6:00 p.m. and I was heading eastbound on the 105. It typically moves pretty well from Crenshaw (where I get on) until just after I pass the 110. Then, it transitions to a very slow crawl.

So today, I'm sittin' there, stop, go, stop, go, and out of nowhere came of memory of something that happened to me way back in the 7th grade. Now that's no easy feat when you consider the fact that I have 3 children who have ALL already completed the 7th grade themselves.

Anyhoo. So out of nowhere, I recall going fishing with my good friend Mitch (Mitch was a girl by the way, and if anyone who knows me is reading this...you know which Mitch I'm talking about and would LOVE to reconnect with her). One weekend while I was sleeping over at her house, her dad Mike decided to take us girls fishing. Cool! I LOVED to fish. I fished with my "Paw Paw" all the time. Fishing was nothin' new to an old pro like me {wink}.

So we head over to the fishing hole and I quickly realize that this experience is gonna be a little bit different than fishing with my "Paw Paw". You see, he did EVERYTHING for me. He put the bait on the hook. He cast the line. All I did was hold the fishing pole, and reel in anything that bit.

Not so with Mike. He handed me the pole, showed me where the bait was, but when it came to casting my line, I needed help. So he helped me. And he helped me. And he helped me. Eventually, I realized that there was absolutely NO way I could ask this man to throw my line in again, so I decided to give it a shot on my own.

I had my bait on the hook, had my pole, flung it behind me, lunged forward, everything was good, and cast my line. In it went, and IN I WENT right behind it. Yes folks, I fell in!!!

So I'm in the water flappin' and flailin' and Mitch is crackin' up. Although I could swim, I was certainly not the BEST of swimmers. So Mike did what he could and "fished" me out of the water as we watched his fishing pole float away.

Now I'm standing there, soaking wet, and oh, did I mention that my attire that day was a white T-shirt and shorts. So of course, we all know what happened with my shirt...it became completely transparent. How embarrassing!!!

Now, I needed clothes. I forget what Mike did for a living, but he rustled up this orange jumpsuit from the trunk of his car, and since beggars can't be choosers, I put it on.

This would've been fine and dandy if we had gone straight home. But nooo...Mitch and Mike were hungry (I was too), so we went to eat at a nearby restaurant. I can STILL see the looks on the faces of the restaurant patrons as we walked in. Mitch and Mike all nice and tidy, and ME...sportin' and orange jumpsuit and an Afro, lookin' like a Soul Train flashback. Wow!

Even with the embarrassment, I wouldn't have changed anything about that day. I was with my friend Mitch, doing something that most of the kids at school probably never imagined her doing. She was pretty busty for our age and had a bit of a reputation. None of that ever mattered to me. All that mattered was that she was my friend, and when we were together, we had a ball.

Sure wish I could find her today.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What's your BEST fishing story?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Splish Splash!

Yesterday, I did something that I haven't done in YEARS. I got into a swimming pool with a swimsuit on. Yes I did!

Didn't want to at first but I was amongst friends (my two very BEST friends to be exact), so it wasn't as bad as it would have been around other people.

Why was this such a big accomplishment? Why has it been so long since I've been in a pool?

A. I'm a BIG girl, and big girls don't look so hot in swimsuits.

But ya know what...I'm a BIG girl in a swimsuit or out of one in regular clothes. So who am I hiding from. Do I really think that people don't see my size when I'm wearing regular clothes. Ummm, no. So why suffer and fry in the hot hot heat when I don't have to. I didn't.

B. I have the weird thing with my eyes where I HAVE to wear special sunglasses ALL THE TIME. I thought it would be strange getting in with them on, but guess what...my two friends had their sunglasses on, so I didn't look so weird. What a relief! They wear theirs to be fashionable. I wear mine out of necessity. Either way, it worked and I didn't look like a "weirdo".

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you a BIG person? Plus-Sized? Overweight? Fat? If so, when was the last time you got into a swimming pool? Has it been a while? If so, why?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

The Shell has Cracked - UPDATE

So here's where we are:

I actually sent 3 requests yesterday, and 2 of them "confirmed" me as a "friend". Not too bad for someone who's not into taking the proactive approach when it comes to things like this.

Today's post is short & sweet. Let the DIALOGUE begin! How long do you let a "friend request" sit out there before you retract it? Hmmm?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!

The Shell has Cracked

For years, going as far back as my childhood, I've been insecure. Wanting to step out and do certain things, but never having the courage to do so, for fear of the big "R" word...REJECTION.

Yes, I was ALWAYS the last one picked for teams.

What would happen if I asked someone to go somewhere with me, or do something with me, only to have them respond with NO?

So, in order to avoid receiving a negative response, I would simply rather not ask.

I wonder though...how many missed opportunities have there been as a result of me not asking for what I want. Probably more than I'd care to acknowledge.

Well today, I've decided to turn things around. I've come out of my shell (a bit). I decided to start small.

Anyone who's on FB knows about "friend requests". I know you, you know me, friend request is sent, (tick tock, will they or won't they?) then confirmed (hopefully), and there ya have it...you're "friends" now.

I've been on FB for 2 years now and have rarely been the one to SEND the request, for fear of NOT being accepted. Can't tell you how many mutual connections there are that I have simply ignored. Yes, I know that person, and yes, that person knows me, so if they want to be my "friend" they'll send me a request. That's been my thinking. Until...today.

Today I decided to just give it a try. I sent two requests, and we'll see what happens. Confirm. Ignore. Doesn't really matter. What matters is that I have come out of my shell and done the "uncomfortable". So whether they "accept" me or not, I've already won.

Corny phrase o' the day: You can't have eggs if you don't crack the shell.
You may quote me on that one (smile).

Let the DIALOGUE begin! If you're on Facebook, are there people you'd like to "friend" but haven't? Why haven't you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

LIVING with Limitations

Have you ever bought a new car and then noticed that every other car on the road was the same as yours? Coincidence? Or did you just become more "aware" once YOU too had that car?

I'm experiencing something similar, yet different at the same time.

If you've followed the blog for a while you may recall the "not so great news" that I received back in January of 2009. In a nutshell, I had to see a retina specialist who told me that I had the WORST eyes he's EVER seen, and he sees 12,000 patients each year. He followed that with asking if I had a history of blindness in my family.

He was full of bad news...didn't give me anything to hope for...just shook his head and sent me on my way. Not cool!

So here I am, 2 years and some months later and Thanks be to God, I still see just fine. And I'm BELIEVING that I will continue to see just fine.

Although I am a firm believer in prayer, I also know that God is not a magician, and I have to do my part.

So I've changed my diet, incorporated lots of dark leafy greens, and protect my eyes from the sun ALWAYS. I never go outside anymore without sunglasses, "solar shields" to be exact.

In the beginning I was a bit self-conscious because these are not glasses that a woman MY age would wear. These are glasses that my GRANDMOTHER would wear. They go over my regular glasses. But I don't care about LOOKS. I care about being able to SEE. And so, I wear them.

So if you see me out and about, or in pictures and wonder, "why does she have those HUGE sunglasses on?", now you know.

After these 2 years & some months, I've come to the realization that my life is a little bit different now. Somewhat limited.

When I'm out at the park or the beach, the majority of people don't have anything covering their eyes, and they're having a rip-roaring good time. Pretty much everywhere I go, most people don't have anything covering their eyes. For me...no can do.

I used to wear contacts so that I could wear "regular" sunglasses, but my eyes do "weird things" when I put the contacts in now, so I've chosen not to wear them.

Does it sadden me to see others out in the sunshine without needing to cover their eyes? Not at all. I am THANKFUL that I can actually SEE such people. I understand that I will never be able to do that, and that is a-ok with me.

It's like this...some people need medication to regulate abnormal functions in their bodies. Some people need to walk with a cane to help with their stability. Some need hearing aids to help with their auditory functions.

So you see, there are various limitations that people are living with, but the key word is LIVING. People with limitations MUST continue LIVING. The limitations are just little bumps in the road. You go over the bump with caution, and keep it movin'.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are YOU LIVING with any limitations?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Running behind, but Catching up

Since the 1 year anniversary of "The Dialogue Den", I've made an effort to blog daily. Hasn't been easy because life always seems to have something more pressing for me to do. Or in this case, FUN was calling and I HAD to answer. So I missed posting yesterday.

Where was I? Out with friends having sushi and singing karaoke. And oh what a time we had! I must've sung 20 songs and belted each one out at the top of my lungs. FUN, Fun, fun!

By the time I got home July 1st was over and I missed posting for the day. So today, I'm doubling up, and catching up.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you sing karaoke? If so, do you have a "signature song" that you like to sing?

Talk to me!

Til next time...