Tough LOVE

Yesterday I got into a little tiff with my oldest child, my 21 year old GROWN child. Hey, isn't that an oxymoron...."GROWN child". Well, I have one of those.

She's an awesome child (yes, I say child because to ME, she is...my child).

She's in her 3rd year of college, has 2 jobs, sings on the Praise Team at church, and is simply an all around great person.

So you're probably asking, "What's the problem?"

The problem is that I need her to start being "responsible" so that she does not experience culture shock, or maybe I should call it "reality shock" when she's finally out on her own.

She still lives here with me and I think I make life pretty easy for her. She pays for NOTHING. In case you didn't catch that, I said NOTHING.

She has her own car which her dad pays for, and they have an arrangement where she pays for the insurance. Not a bad deal if ya ask me.

But that's it. Her only expense.

So I figured, hmmm, 21 and on the phone ALL THE TIME...how bout I make her pay for her portion of the phone bill. THAT'S IT. Just HER portion, which works out to $15.99/mo.

As you can probably tell, we don't have fancy "smart phones". No folks, we just have phones that ring. Okay...and text. But that's IT. I can not afford a smartphone with a data plan...not for myself, and certainly not for any of my kids. My budget/income keeps things very simple and basic.

So I tell her that I want her to start paying for her portion of the bill each month. Oh-Emm-Gee!!! You would THINK I asked for an ARM. So we get into it and she tells me that she "doesn't even like the phone, so why should she pay for it?"

Are you kidding me? Is this kid serious??? She doesn't like the phone, but she's on it ALL THE TIME!

So I say, "Fine, if you don't like the phone then we can cancel your line and you can get what you want on your own."

She says, "Yeah, let's do that."

I say, "Okay, you cough up the early termination fee and we'll do that."

She says, "How much is that?"

I tell her and she says, "No, I don't wanna do that."

I DIDN'T THINK SO!

Now we're back to square one. She still doesn't understand why I need her to pay me each month.

I say, "Fine. I'm going to have to treat you like the phone company would. I'm about to shut it off."

She looks at me and knows that I am NOT playin'. No sir-ee! She huffs and puffs some more, mumbles some things under her breath about me being unreasonable, and all the while I am online shuttin' her line DOWN.

After about 10 minutes, she comes out of her room, looks at me, shakes her head, and says, "I can not believe you."

I looked right back and reminded her ONCE AGAIN...that I DO NOT PLAY.

Well, the next morning she wakes up, gets ready for work and tosses $16.00 at me, then says, "I need my phone back on in an hour".

Oh REALLY???

Again, I told her that I was going to treat her like the phone company, "Your service will be restored when it gets restored...PERIOD."

I turned it back on eventually, and hoped that she had learned her lesson. I guess we won't really know until next month when it's time for her to pay me again.

Oh, the lessons that we are forced to teach our children. Some easy, some tough, but they are all taught in LOVE.

Let's DIALOGUE: Who have you had to teach tough LOVE to lately?

Talk to me!

Til next time...