"SBF 47"

With the recent absence/dismissal of "Joe" (I haven't seen or heard from him since May 24th), I decided to "get myself out there" and try the online dating thing.

I know...it's only been a little over a month, but we were pretty much "over" back in November. So really, I've given this some time.

Not sure that I'll find LOVE on the site, but at the very least I may find a nice new "friend" who I can hang out with. Yes, I have learned to enjoy MY OWN company...and yes, I have lots of FEMALE friends to do things with, but hey...like most heterosexual women, I enjoy occasional male companionship...especially TALL, DARK CHOCOLATE male companionship. But...I digress.

So I created a profile on one of the online dating sites and I gotta tell ya...it is "slim pickins" out there. REAL slim!

What I have found a bit interesting is that some men don't READ my profile to see what I'm interested in, or...they read it and reach out anyway. I have been PARTICULARLY specific...and for a reason...I LIKE WHAT I LIKE!

Even though I have stated that I am ONLY interested in BLACK men within a specific age range, I have still received "interest" from Non-Black dudes as young as 29, Non-Black dudes OLDER than me, and a Black man who looks like he's in his SEVENTIES even though his profile has him listed as fifty. I mean REALLY...is this ALL that I can attract?!? Let's hope not!

In that past (this isn't my first time at the "online dating rodeo"), I would put my profile up and WAIT for men to express interest. Not this time. This time...I go through my "daily matches" and if I spot someone interesting, I send a lil message and say Hello. Mind you, not a single one has responded, but that's ok. It shows my "growth" and confidence. They have all been Black men, and in 95% of the profiles where they list who they are interested in...Black/African Descent IS NOT one of their preferences. Caucasian, Hispanic, Pacific Islander are pretty much ALWAYS ranks highest on the list.

Are there ANY Black men interested in Black women anymore???

I understand that "love sees no color" and all that jazz. That's how it should be. But my goodness...it seems that love only sees Black women occasionally.

One guy had a picture of himself with a Non-Black woman...I sent a screen shot to a friend and asked, "Why do they post pics of themselves with other women?" I wasn't even addressing the fact that she was Non-Black. I was simply addressing a general observation as I've noticed many men posts pics of themselves with other women who aren't usually their mother, sister, daughter, cousin, or aunt. That seems weird to me. Are they trying to show that they know how to interact with women? That they have a softer, gentler side? I dunno.

My friend told me that the particular pic this guy posted was "code" for "I don't date Black women." I laughed it off, but as I looked through more and more profiles I began to notice a trend. The MAJORITY of the Black men who had pics of themselves posted with women, usually NOT Black (whom they referenced as "friends") did not have "Black/African Descent" listed in their preference for a partner. So apparently my friend was RIGHT, and we've "broken the code."

As I mentioned earlier, I've reached out to a number of men...NONE have responded. It's either because I'm Black, or because I make it very clear from the jump that I am a "Big Girl." That could be to my benefit, or my detriment. Not quite sure yet.

Beneficial because it lets them know up front about my "physique" and some men are okay with women my size. "Joe" was.

Detrimental because most men don't want a "fat girl". I can't blame 'em I guess. Just as I "like what I like", they too "like what they like." Most...don't like "fat girls."

I got into a discussion once with a friend about my profile and she said, "Why would you put yourself down like that? Nobody's going to be interested in you if you call yourself "big" or "fat."
That's unfortunate. I have sooo many attractive qualities. Why does one little three-letter-word send men running? Mind you, I don't actually say "fat" in my current profile, but I do make it clear that I'm "big." I mean really...why play games?

Guess we'll just hafta see how this goes.

Something funny happened the other night when I was scrolling through my "matches". One of them looked familiar...TOO familiar. Turns out, it was my COUSIN! Whoa!!! I scrolled by him so fast it's a wonder my keyboard didn't combust!

I've already cancelled my membership to the site, but still have access to my profile, "matches" and all that good stuff until it expires. Clock's ticking.

I have a feeling that whenever love FINALLY finds me, it'll have to be the "old fashioned" way. Randomly meeting at a restaurant, entertainment event, grocery store, friend's party (I really need more of my friends to have parties!), something like that. A place where the man can actually get to know me and SEE my personality, along with my size, all at once. With the online thing, all they see is SIZE, so they keep scrolling.

That's all for now. 'Bout to go check out today's "daily matches."

Before I do, I'll leave you with a fitting song, and a question.

Oh, in case you're wondering what "SBF 47" means...it stands for Single Black Female, age 47.

Now, Let the DIALOGUE begin: Have you ever tried an online dating site? If so, how'd that work for ya?

Talk to me!

Til next time...