Goodbye MMX! Hello MMXI!!!

Here we are. The last day of 2010. And oh what a year it's been.

There is so much that I am thankful for in 2010:

*My continued health (and eyesigt)

*The health and well being of my children Lauren, Jordan and Terence

*My restored friendship with Terry (after a HORRIFIC 2009, he and I both thought this was impossible and would NEVER happen again. Just goes to show that "it ain't ovah, til God says it's ovah").

*A roof over my head, and my own bed to sleep in everynight.

*A car that works everytime I start it.

*Two absolutely WONDERFUL best friends, Judy & Viv. Seriously...if you have 1 person in your life who you can confide in, laugh with, cry with, and just have a good time even when you're doing absolutely NOTHING...you're doin' pretty good. But when you have TWO such people in your life, as I do...then you are TRULY Blessed.

*Family. My family's not very big. We're not even very close. But at the end of the day, "We Are Family", and that means a lot.

*The new gray hairs in my head. What! Yes, I am even thankful for the gray hairs in my head. For 2 reasons:
1. Because I am able to SEE them.
2. Because it means that I HAVE hair. So much of my hair fell out in 2010 due to the overwhelming amount of stress that is placed upon me at work. My body's way of dealing with the stress was loss of hair. And I lost a LOT. Bald spots everywhere. But I've since learned how to manage the stress by realizing that it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for me to meet the demands of my job as it is currently. There are way too few people to the the job of way too many. So all that I do now is all that I am able to do, and no more. Seems to be working. The hair is growing back.

*The Dialogue Den. Yes...this, my beloved blog was created in 2010. Even though nobody's reading (or at least commenting), that's not gonna stop me from writing. This is what I was meant to do. And so, this is what I Will do.

So yes, 2010 was good to me.

Before I go, I'll share with you my personal motto for 2011. I'll write about it more tomorrow, but for now, here it is:

In 2011, I will BE Better, DO Better and HAVE Better!

Let the DIALOGUE being (for our last time in 2010)! How was 2010 for you? What are you hoping for in 2011?

Talk to me!

Love and Prayers, Til next time...

Recyling - "Being Green" or "Needing Green"?

Today I took a trip to our neighborhood recycling center.

I tend to do this when the cans and bottles take over my balcony.

Every time I go, I can't help but wonder WHY the other people are there. Everybody just looks so down and out. And I wonder...do I look that way too?

I'll admit, I used to go as a way of "doing my part" for the environment. You know...this was my way of "being green".

Yet for most of the people there, it's not about "being green", it's about needing more green to put in their pockets. Times are hard, and if you can get a few extra bucks just for recycling cans & bottles, well...why not?

While I was there today I realized that even MY purpose for being there has shifted, just a bit. My reason is now less for "being green", and more for "needing green".

Yes folks, times are pretty hard these days, for way too many of us.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you recycle? If so, which are you..."being" green, or "needing" green. Be honest!

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Lady Tee

My girl is gone.

Lady Tee. Teena Marie.

Anyone who knows me knows that she was my all time FAVORITE singer. I've seen her in concert sooo many times, and had a blast every time.

From the Budweiser Superfest, to Universal Amphitheatre, The Grove of Anaheim, The Greek Theatre, and even at a little elementary school where she performed at The Concert By the Canyon. That was my girl.

On our long trips to Palmdale I would load up the car with all of my Teena Marie CDs and would sing all the way up there and all the way back home. The kids hated it, but that's just the way it was. Over time they actually began singing along.

My friends used to joke with me and call me her stalker. Wherever she was, I wanted to be there. Sometimes I'd make it. Sometimes not. They know...if they're with me and a Teena Marie song comes on, don't even TRY to stop me...I'm singin' it!

My phone has been going crazy with everbody checking to see if I'm ok. I am.

I'm so grateful for the things that I have to remember her by:

My Lady Tee T-shirts
My Pics WITH Lady Tee
My Pics OF Lady Tee
and...most of all...the MUSIC of Lady Tee.

The choir in Heaven just got a whole lot stronger.

950,400 Seconds

I am FINALLY on vacation!

YES!!!

I do not have to go back to work for 11 whole days. 11 WHOLE DAYS!!!

I've been counting down for weeks, then days, and now I'm here. Now...I will have rest. Rest for my body. Rest for my mind. Rest for my spirit. Rest.

If you could see me today, I look at least 10 years older than I really am. That's not good. Just a year ago people thought I looked 20 years younger than my age. Not anymore. I look bad, and old, and I'm huge from all of the stress that I've been carrying around.

Yes, I need rest. And it's finally here. Much needed. Long awaited. Rest.

For 11 days I get to be a momma to my kids. A full time mom. So much of what they should have from me ends up going to my job. It almost feels neglectful. I'm at work so that I can support them yet they are neglected because the time that they deserve to have with me ends up being spent in a drab gray cubicle for hours and hours on end. Then when I finally do come home, I'm so wiped out mentally and emotionally from the battering that I take from my customers, all that I have energy to do is plop myself on the couch and "decompress" as I call it.

Sometimes I "decompress" for a few minutes. Sometimes hours. Sometimes, all night.

Why is it that the things that I love most, get the least of me, and that which I love the least, gets the most of me. Something's definitely wrong with that picture.

So for the next 950,400 seconds I get to be what I want to be. I get to be myself. I get to be their mom. I get to be happy.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you running on empty? What will it take to fill your tank up again?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree

Today is a week before Christmas. We don't have tree.

I can't remember the last time we had a tree for Christmas. It's been a few years.

I feel bad sometimes because I know that my kids would like a tree, but I figure, what's the point. Their gifts won't be under any tree here. Their gifts will be at their Dad's house. And that's where their tree is.

I play Christmas music to help usher in the season (mostly Gospel, but every now & then I play some of the "traditional" stuff as well), but when the music's not playing it looks like just another day in my home.

I know that Christmas isn't about a TREE, it's about the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus. Still...a tree would be nice. Just makes the home look like something special is going on. Like we're celebrating.

Tree or no tree, I pray that my babies understand. One day...things will be different, things will be better.

Let the DIALOGUE begin: Has it been a while since you last had a Christmas tree in your home for Christmas?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Friends...how many of us have them?

Back when I was in high school there was a song called FRIENDS by Whoudini that went a little somethin' like this:

Friends, how many of us have them?
Friends, ones we can depend on.
Friends, how many of us have them?
Friends, before we go any further let's be friends...

Today someone "unfriended" me on the social networking site that I'm on.

The nerve!

How do I know this? Well, because I only had 71 "friends". Yep. 71. That's all.

Some people have thousands of "friends". Me...only 71. Oh, wait...I mean 70...now.

When it comes to my "friends" I pretty much have 2 rules that I go by:
1. I only "add friends" when I receive a request
and
2. I KNOW my friends. I mean REALLY know them. I've either gone to church, school, or work with them or...they are members of my family. If they don't fall into any of those categories then I've actually met them at one time or another. Either way...I know these people and they know me. None of this befriending strangers business.

So...like I said...someone "unfriended" me today.

My first reaction was to scroll through my 70 remaining "friends" and find out who it was. Then I thought...what does it matter? Does it really matter? Not really.

After that, I wondered WHY someone would "unfriend" me.

Could it be my openness about being a follower of Christ? Maybe that's rubbed someone the wrong way. If so, oh well.

Maybe it was the fact that I've been posting a new Christmas song each day since the 1st of December. Most have been Gospel Christmas songs, and every now & then I throw in a secular Christmas song. Maybe they just got tired of my DJ-ing.

Maybe it was the person who did me wrong a couple months back and hasn't had the decency to apologize for what they did. Little do they know, I've already forgiven them for what they did. I've prayed for them and wish them well. And if the "friendship" were ever to present itself again, I'd be open. I don't hold grudges. That's too much hurt to harbor.

Maybe it was someone who just deleted their account because they decided that the site wasn't for them anymore. I've done that on some of the previous networking sites that I've had profiles on. After a while, I just decided that one profile on one site was enough for me, so...profile deleted.

After going through each of those scenarios I found myself right back where I started...does it really matter? No,not really.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you know exactly how many "friends" you have, and would it bother you if someone "unfriended" you? Would you want to know why?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Cubicles (b.k.a. Dream Stealers)

What do you do for a living? Are you working in your dream career, or do you simply "have a job"?

If you just "have a job", you probably sit at a desk in a drab grey or beige colored cubicle.

At least I do.

And everyday that I sit in that cubicle I feel like small pieces of my ideal career dream are being shaved off. Little by little. Second by second. Minute by minute. Hour by hour. Day by day. Month by month. Year by Year.

Cubicles are dream stealers. I mean really...whose grown up wish as a child is to work in a cubicle. Never once have I heard a child utter those words..."When I grow up I wanna work in a CUBICLE". Nope, never heard it.

So why are so many of us glued to one? And why can't we get out? Is there a way out? I feel like my cubicle is just a cloth covered cage.

And before you lecture me...I already know...I should be grateful for my cubicle job...it's a job...and hundreds of thousands of people would love to have it. I get that! Yes, I'm grateful. Yet at the same time...I'm stifled.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you have a "cubicle job"?

Talk to me...

Til next time!!!

Maybe

Maybe.

Such a non-commital word.

If I had my way, I would eliminate the word MAYBE from our vocabulary. Let your yes be your yes and your no be your no, but none of this "maybe" stuff.

I'm guilty of using the word myself. When I don't want to deal with conflict by saying no to someone, I simply say "maybe". Just seems so much easier that way.

Rarely do I say maybe when I really mean yes. I think that's how it is with most people.

So if maybe REALLY means no, then why not just eliminate maybe altogether.

What do you think?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! When you say maybe, do you really mean yes or no?

Talk to me...

Til next time!

12.11

Today is a friend's birthday.

Somehow though, "friend" seems just a wee bit inadequate.

We met in 1984.

I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. Way to cool to give me the time of day or even look my way. Every now & then we'd pass each other in the hallway, he'd give me the "what's up" nod, and we'd be on our way.

Time went by. He graduated and we met up again 2 years later.

Two years after that we had a home together.

Two years after that we had a child.

Three years later, another.

Five years after that...one more. Our last.

Twelve years later, here we are.

The road hasn't been the easiest for the two of us. There've been many bumps. All in all though, there've been far more smooth patches than rough if you really had to weigh the two.

And today is his birthday.

When we met he didn't really celebrate his birthday. WHAT? That's right. Not that he didn't find his birthday to be a special day, but being born 2 weeks before Christmas meant that his childhood birthdays were always combined WITH Christmas. That was...until he met me.

According to my calendar, December 11th and December 25th are two TOTALLY separate days. So why should they be celebrated together. They shouldn't be.

The first year that he and I were in our own home together was the first year that the tradition of me making him a birthday cake began. Chocolate cake with Chocolate frosting. His favorite.

I'm not any fancy pastry chef or anything even remotely close. No, my cakes are from a box. But everytime he eats one he makes me feel like it was flown in from wherever fancy cakes come from.

And so, I will make a cake on his birthday for as long God allows me to.

Yes, at some point later on today I'll find myself cracking eggs, mixing cake batter & opening a can of chocolate frosting. And I'll enjoy every step in the process. Everybody should feel special on their birthday, regardless of how close it is to Christmas. This is my way of letting my "friend" know that HIS special day is important too.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you born in December? If so, were your birthdays combined with Christmas when you were a child or were the days celebrated separately?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

"+1"?

Ahh, the holidays. With holidays come holiday parties. And with holiday parties come decisions about who to take as a guest to those parties.

My company party is coming up in a few weeks. To keep it "P.C." they never call it a Christmas party and they always have it in January so that no one is confused (or insulted).

It's going to be at a really nice spot this year and I feel like getting "dressed up". For those who know me, that's a very rare occurence. I'm a "jeans and flip-flops" kinda girl, so to get a "doodied up" is a big deal for me.

For the past 10 years, I've either gone to the parties alone, or took one of my best friends as my "+1".

Most of the women at my job attend the party with their "significant other" or spouse. Me...I'm either by myself or with one of my friends.

So the mystery question is this: Will I go solo this year, take one of my friends again, or...will I...just maybe...take along a "+1" of the male persuasion? Only time will tell.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! For those of you who are single, who do you usually take as your "+1" to the company party, and or weddings?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Still Tired

Although I'd love to post a new blog everyday, one of the reasons why I don't is because I'm not sure if YOU are ready for everything that I have to say.

I realize that it really shouldn't matter. After all, these are MY thoughts, however...I want YOU to chime in and add your feedback, so I can't go runnin' you off. The more that I write though, the more I realize that I haven't been as authentic as I'd like to be.

So today, I'm doing something a little different. Today, I'm being completely transparent...puttin' it all out there .

I've got two things on my mind. One I'll just briefly mention and will blog about more in depth at a later date. The other, I'll speak on today.

The first one pertains to "reaching out"...again. When will I learn? Will I ever learn? When will I stop giving to a person who's not giving back to me? Twice, within the last month I've reached out to a particular individual and both times, my arms have been left empty. Leaves me wondering...does this person even REALIZE that I'm reaching out? Certainly they're not so "cold" to KNOW that I'm reaching out, yet they are purposefully not reaching back...certainly that's not the case. At least I hope not. That would just be too hurtful to accept. So I'm going to pretend that they just don't know. You know...give 'em that whole "benefit of the doubt" thing. And...I'm not reaching out anymore until this person reaches out to me for a change. So...we'll just have to wait and see if that happens.

***

Today though, my focus is (once again) on being tired. And tired I am. I don't mean tired in the sense that I need more sleep, but tired in the sense that I feel like a hamster on a treadmill going absolutely nowhere.

Shouldn't I be a little farther in life than I am now?

I'm tired. Tired of struggling. And no...this isn't meant to be a "pity party", it's simply ME...being transparent and authentic, as I said I would.

In most of my posts I try to put on a happy face. But if you could see the face as I'm writing you'd realize that it's far from happy most times. I'm tired. Tired of going to work everyday, only to pay bills (and even those aren't getting paid because there's just not enough money). And before you start lecturing me on how I should be thankful to have a job...YES...I get it, and I am. Although it makes me wonder sometimes how it is that people who are out of work are doing better than I am and I go to work EVERYDAY. I know people who've been unemployed for years yet they're always "vacationing". Either something's very wrong with our unemployment system or these people know something that I don't. Seems like working people should be just a smudge better off than those who are unemployed. Yet, I can't tell the difference.

My children and I live very humbly. We have a very modest home, drive the least expensive car on the market, don't go out to movies, don't go out for dinner, don't go on vacations, or shop regularly for clothes. We just don't have the funds for any of that.

I get paid twice a month. It takes one whole check and a portion of the 2nd just to cover rent. That leaves very little for utilities, car payment, gas, groceries, and phones. Very very little. And what little there is goes to those things and not much more. It's not supposed to be this way.

Every now and then I go out with my friends for dinner & a movie. But that's not often. Most times if I'm out with friends we are at one of their homes. Thankfully, we know how to have fun with each other without having to spend a penny. That's when you KNOW that a friendship is true...when just being in each other's company guarantees a good time. If the two of you are reading this...you know who you are :-)

Yet I'm often led to wonder...what am I doing wrong? Why aren't I further ahead? Why does it seem like I'm going backward instead of forward? This isn't what I'd planned for myself but I'm trying to make the best of it. At the same time, I know that I was destined for better. I can't believe that God put me here to go through life alone. I can't believe that God put me here to live my life "paycheck to paycheck", with nothing left over. Yet I understand that my ways are not His ways, so I have to trust that He's working things out for my good even though I'm not there yet.

Yes, I'm tired.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you where you want to be at this point in your life?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Thanksgiving...today and EVERYDAY

Today is the day that our country celebrates Thanksgiving. Has something to do with Pilgrims, Indians, turkeys and all that stuff.

That's all well and good, but for me Thanksgiving is more than just a day filled with too much food. It's even more than the time that I spend with my family.

Thanksgiving is a state of mind. In my mind, Thanksgiving is every day of the year. Every morning when I wake up, the first words out of my mouth are THANK YOU. Yes, I thank God each and every morning.

I thank him for opening my eyes and being able to see. For those who know me, eyesight is not something that I take for granted. After being threatened with the idea that my eyesight may one day be gone, I am truly thankful for every new day that God allows me to see.

But it doesn't just end there.

I'm thankful for every day that He gets me through at work. My job is mentally and emotionally challenging. If I had to do it alone I wouldn't make it. But because He's with me everyday, I am able to make it...one day at a time.

I'm thankful for Him being my provider when there isn't enough money (and there's never enough money. No, I'm not being greedy, and I'm not trying to have you feel sorry for me...I'm just keepin' it real and there's NEVER enough money).

I'm thankful for my children. All healthy, intelligent, and down right good people.

I'm thankful for relationships restored. I could go on and on about this one. In this area I can only say "Nobody but God". After hating and being hated by a particular individual, I realized that I had to give that person up and over to God. As soon as I did, I received such a sense of peace about that relationship. Didn't know what would come of it and had accepted the fact that it was just "over".

What I didn't realize until a year later was that God was working in that situation all along. And once I stepped out of it and gave it over to Him, He worked things out in a way that only He can.

Today, that person and I can actually speak to one another, be in the same room together, and even laugh together. Neither of us would have ever thought those things to be possible if it were up to us. But because we had nothing to do with it, and God had EVERYTHING to do with it, the impossible became reality.

Interestingly enough, that person invited me to have Thanksgiving with their family. I haven't done that in over 10 years and never dreamt that I'd be there again. I went, and had a great time. I could tell that I was more happy to be there than the person was to have me there, but that's okay. Just being there was more than I ever imagined would be.

So yes, on this day, I could go on and on about all that I'm thankful for. But because Thanksgiving is EVERYDAY for me I don't have to cram my thanks all into one day. I've got 364 more, and that's a good thing.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What are you MOST thankful for on this day?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

My Heavenly Dream

Last night I had a lovely dream about Heaven. I was there.

Not the Heaven that I've imagined but very peaceful nonetheless.

I don't know how I got there but the first recollection of the dream began with me waiting in line. I was waiting in line to get to the desk where I was to "check in" so to speak.

I get to the desk and there's a box with 3x5 index cards in it. One these cards were written the names of everyone who was allowed in. I went through the cards the first time and didn't find my name. Uh oh. So I went through the cards again. Still...nothing.

Then, a woman walks up to me and asks if she can help. I tell her yes...I can't find my name in the box.

She tells me that my name isn't in the box. BIG uh oh.

Then she directs me to another table. On that table is a plaque with my name on it and a home made button that someone made for me to wear. Wow! A plaque and a button...how 'bout that! Although at that point I really didn't care. My name could have been written on a square sheet of toilet paper...as long as my name was in Heaven SOMEWHERE...that's all that really mattered.

So I proceed with my tour through Heaven and I spot my children. All 3 of them were there, and I was so relieved.

Then I asked about their Dad. Was he there too? They told me that he was and they pointed toward where he was. He was hanging out with some other men discussing ways to make money. Didn't make much sense to me. After all...why would they need money in Heaven?

Then I thought, well...in his Heaven it would make total sense. He's an "entrepreneur at heart" and making money would definitely fit into his Heaven. I was just glad to see him there.

Then came God. Yes...God. And in my dream, God was a woman. She resembled Yolanda Adams (for those familiar with Gospel music).

She welcomed me into Heaven and showed me a snippet of my life. She knew how sad I had been at many times in my life and she wanted me to know that she was with me each and every time. I was never alone...even during the times when I'd felt completely alone.

She showed me a time when some crazed man kicked me in my stomach. It was a hard blow. And more than the pain that came with the force of his kick, was the pain that came from my children who were right there when the man kicked me. They should not have had to witness that. Then the snippet stopped and God said to me, "Yes...even then, I was right there with you."

Then the dream switched to a party seen. Although it wasn't the actual party, it was the clean-up that came after the party. There was so much food left over. And on a table was a HUGE bowl of marinated artichokes. Whoa! I LOVE marinated artichokes. So I went over to ask one of the servants if I could have one...just one. The servant told me NO. Wow. So I started to walk away.

Then the servant stopped me and said, "I was just kidding. Take as many as you'd like. Here, take the whole bowl." Really? So I did. With the huge bowl in hand I headed off to my Heavenly room. I had my own room in Heaven.

I've heard many people get excited about the fact that they'll have their own MANSION in Heaven, but I could care less about that. I don't NEED a MANSION. I'd be happy with just a room. And to be quite honest, even if I had to share that room, I'd still be fine...just as long as I'm there...in Heaven.

Okay...so back to the dream (I know, it's a long one, and I can't believe that I've remembered so much. Usually they fade away the minute I wake up).

So I'm heading to my room, and on the way there I pass by God. And all of a sudden I was just overcome. The tears just ran down my face. I told God how thankful I was. I thanked God for being with my all my life. I just cried and cried and felt so much at peace. Real peace. Peace like I'd never felt before.

God nodded and just said,"I know".

And then...I woke up.

Let the DIALOGUE begin(you can probably guess the topic)! Have you had any interesting dreams lately?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Where's the SERVICE in Customer Service?

I have had it with my DSL "service" provider. And every time I use the word "service" please know that I am using the term loosely...VERY loosely.

Somehow, my DSL service got disconnected. Not because I asked for it to be, but because of some stupid glitch on the carrier's end. Since November 12th I've been dealing with these people to get the issue resolved. I swear, if I have one more person at this company tell me that the disconnect was "due to an error, and they don't know how to fix it, so I have to set up brand new service...", if I have one more person tell me this I am going to FLIP.

I've spoken with more people than I can count (on both hands and feet). There is absolutely no "sense of urgency" with these people. Half the ones I've spoken with have sounded like they're chowing down on a sandwich (totally unprofessional), and the others are simply reading off of a script. I've heard the spiel so many times now I can recite it by heart. I mean REALLY...is there ANYBODY at this company who can think "outside of the box" and use their brains to solve a problem? Is this what we've come to? Is this the new "normal" when it comes to "service"?

Needless to say, I'm still without DSL and have contacted another provider to set up new service as I simply can not continue to give my hard earned money to the people who I've been dealing with. Nope...not a penny more will go to that company.

The sad part is...they won't even miss me. I'm just one out of millions of customers which is why they've been so lackadaisical about resolving my problem.

So at this point, all that I can do is cancel my account with them (which I've done), and write letters to anybody and everybody I can who's in management at the company. Maybe, just maybe...someone there will realize that there's a better way to treat customers and the way that I've been treated is simply not it.

You can hear me now...right?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What's the WORST service you've ever received from a company. Did you continue to do business with them afterward?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Say Cheese!

Let's face it...pretty much everybody who's anybody is on one of the popular social networking sites. I'm on one myself. Only one though. I can't manage being on more than one, so I chose the one that suits me best (at least for now), and that's where you'll find me.

I must admit though...I'm a bit of a voyeur. I love looking at other people's pics. Doesn't matter if I know you or not. If your pics are out there and your profile isn't private, I'm lookin! And man, have I seen some crazy stuff!!!

One of the common things that I've found (which is also one of my pet peeves) are all of the "self taken" pictures. Now, I must admit...I'm guilty of this myself, HOWEVER...I've HAD to take the pics myself because no one else can get the correct angle of my face in order to get a good picture. In other words, I'm not very photogenic and it takes a LOT of snaps & clicks to get a decent photo of me. Am I ugly? No. Just not one of those people who takes nice pictures naturally. If you find a good picture of me, just know that there were 100 more taken in order to get to that ONE.

One thing that I'm very mindful of though is to try not to make the picture LOOK LIKE I took it myself.

In other words: I don't take pictures of myself with the camera facing the mirror so that you end up seeing me and the camera IN THE MIRROR!!!

No...there are very strategic ways to position the camera so that you don't get the mirror shot.

I mean really...am I the only one who thinks that self taken pictures in the mirror look a little vain (for one), and just a tad bit "tacky"? If it's just me then I'll stand alone. I'm just wondering.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever taken a picture of yourself (in a mirror or not) and posted it on one of the networking sites? Can we tell that you took it yourself?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

My Babies...such BLESSINGS!

Tonight was parent teacher conference night and I think I was the proudest parent there. Not so much because of the grades that my son has earned (although 4 As and 2 Bs are nothing to sneeze at), but because of the comments that every teacher had about him. These are the same comments that I've been hearing throughout his entire education (he's in 7th grade right now). But it doesn't stop there. The same comments that I heard tonight about my son, were the very same comments that I've always received about my 2 daughters also (one currently a senior in high school and the other in her 3rd year of college).

Here's how the conversation usually goes:

Teacher: Oh my goodness! I can't tell you enough what a pleasure {insert child's name here} is in class. So mannerable, so pleasant, such a hard worker. Such a joy to have in my class. I wish I had an entire classroom filled with students just like {insert child's name here}.

Me: Thank you. I'm glad to hear that. He/She really is a blessing. Not just at school but at home also (or something along those lines).

Tonight, was even more moving. Tonight, his math teacher actually gave me a hug when I walked in the door, and was tearing up the whole time that she talked about my son. Wow! She said that she told herself she wouldn't get attached to any of the students this year, then in walked my son. It's difficult to not get attached to a child as special as he is.

Tonight's experience reminded me of something that I have always said about my children. I've always said that if they weren't my kids, I'd wish that they were. Does that make sense?

If they weren't mine I'd always look at them and think, "Awww...it would be so cool to have children like them". Or, "When I have kids I hope they turn out just like...".

Have you ever met kids who make you feel that way?

And I thank God right then and there (as I've done since the day each one was born), for blessing me with them. Some parents may get 1 out of 3 who are exceptional. If they're lucky, they'll get 2 out of 3 who are exceptional. ME...God blessed me with 3 children who are absolutely exceptional people, inside and out. I couldn't have asked for better, I couldn't have chosen better, yet God gave me the BEST.

They are true examples of what it means to "let your Light shine". They don't hide their Light under a bushel. They let their Light shine brightly for all to see. THAT is what we are ALL supposed to do.

And on this night I want to world to know how blessed I am to be Lauren, Jordan and Terence's mom. There!!! Now you know.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you know any cool kids, yours or someone else's? What makes 'em so cool?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

In my "Perfect World"

Is it just me, or does it seem as though there are some people who have an abundance of wealth and others who don't have two nickels to rub together. Seems a little unbalanced if you ask me. Some struggle, others don't know the meaning of. Why is that?

Do the people who have an abundance and live in excess really appreciate all that they have? And would they miss anything if they were to give just a little?

On the flip side, how life-changing would it be if those who are struggling, and have struggled all their lives, could simply get a break?

I've asked myself these questions many many times and...I have the solution.

One day, for just ONE day only, I wish that each country would implement a policy where all of the residents of that country pool their money together and then equally divide it amongst all of the citizens of that country. Ideally, I wanted to include all the money in the world and have that distributed evenly, but I thought I'd keep it simple and just have each country distribute the money amongst the citizens of that country.

Now, think about that for a minute.

And please, don't go killing the dream by figuring out all the ways that this would NOT work. No, this is my "perfect world" scenario, so it works.

You see, those who live in excess won't miss anything. Most people who have an abundance of money just waste it anyway on frivolous junk. Not using that money to help enhance the lives of others, but typically used to buy useless junk, just for the sake of being able to buy it. I think that's sad.

Take the United States for example. One of the wealthiest countries in the world, yet look at all of the unemployed and homeless people we have here. Now look at how many celebrities we have in this country who only seem to be concerned with how much "bling" they can buy. Almost as though they are truly living by the motto: He who dies with the most toys wins.

I've got news for you though...you can't take those toys with you when you die. But the money can live on long after you're gone if you put toward something that can help others. I mean really. Do you want your legacy to be that you had a bunch of "stuff" when you were alive, or do you want it to be how many people in your lifetime?

Don't know about you, but I opt for the latter.

So back to my "perfect world"...in one day, with the money of this country equally distributed, I know or a fact that it would change my life dramatically, and I'm sure that many others would reap the same positive benefits.

Does this mean that I don't want to work hard to become financially secure? No! I've been working since I was 16 years old. So I'm well aware of what it means to work hard and...I don't believe in "a free ride". I'm just saying that people are tired. People need a break. People need something good to happen to them. ONE DAY in my "Perfect World" would accomplish all of these things.

So there you have it. Let the DIALOGUE begin! What do you think about my "Perfect World", or, do you have a better idea?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Blue and Brown

My favorite colors. Especially together. I've always loved blue and then a few years ago I began to notice how pretty blue is when it's paired up with brown. Kinda like "peanut butter & jelly", "bacon & eggs", "milk & cookies"...okay...you get it. Blue and Brown...they were just meant to be.

Funny though. Seems like everywhere I look these days there it is...the blue and brown combo. It's the theme for baby boy's clothing. It's the theme for home decor. It's everywhere.

Almost seems as though once I decided on how much I loved the combo, everyone else jumped on the bandwagon and decided that they liked it just as much.

I like the combination because it reminds me of nature, and most people who know me know that I'm a nature girl at heart. Always thankful for the beauty that God gives us each day.

Blue for sky and water. Brown for the earth and color of my skin.

Yes, we're keeping tonight's post pretty light. Let the DIALOGUE begin! What's your favorite color, or color combination? Go 'head...dig through the crayon box if you need to :-)

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Sunday

Ahh Sunday. One of my favorite days of the week.

I just got home not too long ago from my 2nd church service of the day. "What!?!...TWO church services, in ONE day???". Yes, two, and I thoroughly enjoyed them both.

I realize that there are many who simply can not drag themselves into the doors of a church unless they're there for a wedding or funeral. For most it seems, church is on the living room couch, rooting for their favorite sports team. For those people I have a simple question: Who's name do you call upon in times of need, trouble, loneliness, sickness, despair, etc? Have any of your sports teams ever been able to help you in your darkest hour? Do your sports teams even know that YOU exist? Just a few questions that you may want to think about when you're on your couch next Sunday.

For me, church is where I go to "fill up". Much like a car needs gas in order to run...I need to HEAR the preached Word of God. Mind you, I'm very aware of the fact that I don't HAVE to be in church to get "filled", all I need to do is open my Bible and everything I need is right there.

Yet there's something special about fellowshipping, praising and worshipping with others that is so rewarding. We need each other. None of us are in this world alone. And yes, I can praise and worship God all by myself (and often times I do), but I really look forward to Sundays when I can do these things collectively with my church family.

So today, along with morning service, I also attended another service at 3:30. And it was just what I needed. If you've been following the blog, you pretty much know what my sore spot is. If I didn't have what I have on Sundays, I don't know how I'd ever make it through a Monday.

So yes, I'd have to say that Sunday is one of my favorite days of the week. Fridays, AFTER 5:30 and ALL Saturdays are probably my favorites, for reasons that I don't have to explain IF you've been following the blog.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What is YOUR favorite day of the week and why?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Trick or Treat, Merry Christmas (hey aren't we missing something?)!!!

Ok, so is it me, or does Christmas seem to come earlier every year?

I mean really...as soon as the Halloween decorations came down, BAM...the Christmas decorations were up. I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not. This is the absolute truth.

Poor Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving gets no love :-(

Christmas has become so commercial that retailers begin the season earlier and earlier each year to bring in the bucks. Who cares about the spiritual significance of Christmas? Maybe I'm the only one.

And the music!!! Man!

I was in a store today and the Christmas songs were BLARING! Today is only November 13th. We've still got over a month to go here people!!!

Me...I don't pull the Christmas music out until December 1st...NEVER any sooner. And my Christmas collection is a lot different that what you'll hear in the stores. MY Christmas collection is about (get this!!!) JESUS! I know...sounds silly doesn't it. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Quite honestly, it shouldn't be any other way.

Yeah...every now and then we pop in a song about a reindeer, or the jolly old man in the red suit...but 99% of the Christmas music that we listen to in my home, is about the REAL meaning of Christmas. That also happens to be the name of one of my favorite Christmas songs..."The Real Meaning of Christmas".

So anyway...I said all that to say this...can we give Thanksgiving just a little bit of love. Hmmm...maybe we should come up with a song. Wha' da ya think?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! If you could write a song for THANKSGIVING how would it go? Throw me some lyrics.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Listen to The Dialogue Den's Playlist

Le-A

Okay, so I could talk about yet another crummy day at work, but instead I thought we'd do something fun. We are going to a play a little game.

As you see, the title of tonight's blog is "Le-A".

You're probably wondering, "What is Le-A"?

I'm glad you asked :-)

Le-A is a woman's name.

YOUR job...is to tell me how it's pronounced. Come on people...join in on the fun. This needs to be VERY interactive. After seven guesses, I'll tell you the correct pronunciation, unless of course, someone guesses correctly before seven guesses.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What is the craziest name you've ever heard?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Tired

I'm back.

Made it through another day at work, and as I do everyday before I walk into the office doors, and as I'm walking out, I thanked God. It is ONLY through the strength that He gives me that I am able to make it through each day.

My job is technical. I'm not.

From the day I was hired I pray every morning before I step foot through those doors asking God to give me what I need for that day. Lead me, guide me, direct me, and be with me. These are what I pray for EVERY morning. And at the end of the day, I thank Him for getting me through. I'm truly not doing this by myself.

Most days, like today, I end the day completely exhausted. Now I realize that most people are tired after a days work, but I am exceptionally, abnormally tired. I really need rest.

Here's a typical day for me:

Wake up at 6:00 a.m.
Get kids up and out the door between 6:45 and 7:00
Hop on a crowded freeway to drop my daughter off at school that's about 15 miles North West from where we live.
Head over to my son's school that's about 10 miles South of my daughter's school.
Then I hop on another freeway and head West toward work (in bumper to bumper traffic).
Finally, I make it to the office at 8:30

From the minute I sit down at my desk it's "all systems go". I answer a slew of emails and phone calls while responding to my customer's Instant Message requests. And oh, did I mention our "work flow management tool" where our customers also enter their quote requests that they expect to have answered within 4 hours. It's waaay too much.

About once every 3 hours I get up to use the restroom (thank God for my bladder, otherwise I'd never get up), and I eat my lunch at my desk. Every now & then I try to get away from my desk for lunch but when I get back I always regret it because a 1 hour lunch break sets me back about 3 hours. Just not worth it.

5:30 p.m. rolls around (slowly) and I should be wrapping up. Usually don't leave til @ 6 though.

Hop on the freeway to go get my kids from their grandmas house.
Hop on another freeway to get home (in bumper to bumper traffic).

Get home, wash hands, start dinner.

Log back onto work to catch up on all of the work that couldn't possibly get done in an 8 hour work day. Does the 8 hour work day even exist anymore?

Help with homework.

Eat dinner.

Sit on the couch wishing that I could stay home from work the next day. Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

Work til who knows when and eventually go to sleep between 12 and 1:00 a.m.

Starts all over again in 5 hours.

Like a hamster on a treadmill, I'm running but not going anywhere :-(

And I'm tired.

What I just outlined is just a template of my day. It's rare that I get to actually come straight home from work. On Tuesday nights we have Bible Study. Thursday nights my daughter has choir rehearsal. And on the other days, there's just no tellin' what stop we'll have to make before heading home.

I'm not trying to complain (again, I get that many of today's unemployed would love to be in my shoes...I totally get it), I just feel sometimes that people "don't get me". Maybe if they understood a "day in my life" they'd understand me a little better.

Everyone has a limit. I think I've reached mine. I'm tired and really need to rest. No...I'm not talking a good night's sleep...I mean real rest, away from the stress and the demands of life. I just need a break. But a break is no where in sight.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you as tired as I am? What's a typical day like in your life?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Dressing on Purpose

After 4 days of mind clearing, stress relieving bliss, I had to go back to work today :-(

For 4 days I got to be a Mom to my kids, and a friend to my friends. I got to be me. I wasn't worn out, frazzled and exhausted as I usually am from being overworked. For once, in a very long time I felt rested.

I realize that in today's economy it's pretty much "taboo" to complain about one's job because there are so many people who would love to be in my seat. So let me say from the jump: I am thankful for having a job. HOWEVER...the stress that I am placed under each day is NOT normal. Many of coworkers cry on the way to work (me included). Some of us cry while at work. Is that normal? I think not.

We come in, sit down and GO. Barely having time to even bid each other a "good morning".

We remind ourselves to breathe throughout the day because most of the time we are suffocating. We are drowning. It's bad...really really bad.

And it's finally gotten to the point where I have come to realize that no matter how much I do, no matter how late I work...it will NEVER be enough, because there are simply too few people in my office to get the job done. Waaay too few. Sadly, it's not going to change. Understaffed and Overwhelmed has become the "new normal".

So as I prepared to get dressed for work this morning, trying to let go of the depression that sets in before the beginning of each work week, I decided to dress to match the way I felt. I wore ALL BLACK. Today, I dressed on purpose. Everyday that I go into that office I feel like a little piece of me is dying. This can't be normal. It just can't be.

Again...I am thankful to have a job because I need a way to provide for my family and right now, this is it. But the price that I am paying, both in my physical and emotional health is more than I can afford, and can never be repaid.

I sometimes feel like an victim of abuse. People say to me, "Why don't you leave if it's so bad"? But it's not that easy. Where I am supposed to go? Who's hiring? I feel trapped. It's ver similar to an abuse victime. They want to leave. They know that they need to get out. They know that the longer they stay, the worse it'll get. And so, they stay. Playing out the escape in their minds, but never quite able to make the actual getaway. No one should ever feel this way. Not in a personal relationship, not at work. This is so unhealthy. I call it "workplace abuse syndrome". Not sure if that's an actual diagnosis, but it certainly the name that I would go with.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Do you feel trapped in your job? What's keeping you from leaving? Do you think you'll ever get out?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

My Questions, Your Answers

Tell me this...

How many times, and how long do you reach out to someone who doesn't reach back?

How much giving do you do before you realize that what you get in return (if anything) will never equate to all that you've given?

How many times do YOU have to take the first step toward forgiveness, knowing that the person you're forgiving will ultimately hurt you again?

Just wondering.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you one who reaches out, gives, and forgives...or are you the one who doesn't reach back, always takes, and creates the hurt?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

C-Sections...as common as changing socks (urgh!)

I'm sure that I won't make many friends with this post but this topic has been on my mind for a while and since it seems like no one visits the blog anyway, I'm pretty much free to say what I want...right?

So what's on my mind tonight??? C-Sections. I just don't get 'em. Why do so many women opt to have C-Sections. I mean, even without TRYING to have a natural childbirth they just make the decision to "have the drugs, and get the C-Section". How lazy! I mean really ladies...what would you do if you didn't have the luxury and "easy out" of having a C-Section. Oh...I know...YOU'D ENDURE THE PAIN AND HAVE THE BABY NATURALLY!!! Just the way women have been having babies since the beginning of time. Suck it up and push it out!!!

Now I get that some women HAVE to have a C-Section for medical purposes, but come on now...are there THAT many women who have the medical need? Let me answer that one for ya...NO, there are not!!!

So when I say that I don't get it, I mean just that. I've had 3 babies, and I had all 3 NATURALLY and WITHOUT drugs. I had my babies the same way that Eve had hers.

Yeah, it hurt like heck, but I had a great coach by my side to help me through the pain. And with only the two of us in the room (no doctors, no nurses, not a bunch of other people in the room tellin' us what to do), we got through it and delivered 3 healthy babies as a result. And we must've gotten something right because each delivery was faster than the one before.

So what am I trying to say? I'm saying this: LADIES...give natural childbirth a try before you throw in the towel and decide that your baby isn't worth the pain so you're just gonna take the easy road.

Life is painful. Why should childbirth be any different? Now breath in, breath out...deep cleansing breaths, and have that baby...the natural way!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Sorry guys, this one's for the ladies...Have you ever had a C-Section, and did you have it because it was medically necessary, or because it was convenient. Be honest.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Rated "R" (for a REASON)

So I went to the movies last night and in line behind me were a handful of teen aged girls chatting as teen aged girls do, and cursing like sailors (sadly, as many teenagers do). It was just so unbecoming. So unlady like. Really disturbing.

So as the line moved along they continued their cursing and unlady-like language and were pointing out people in the line who they were going to ask to buy their ticket to a rated "R" movie.

As we were just about to get to the window they finally decide on ME. ME! Little did they know, I was NOT the one.

So they proceed to ask me to buy their ticket and I very politely told them NO. I'm sure that I became the subject of their next unlady-like conversation, but there was No Way that I was going to contribute to the continued degradation of their development.

Was I being prudish? Probably. Do I care? Not at all.

First of all...I would not want somebody buying a ticket for my under aged children to get into an "R" rated movie. Movies are powerful. They place images into our minds that can not be removed. I wouldn't want someone to help those negative images to be placed in my child's mind, and I will not be responsible for jackin' up the mind of someone else's child. Yes, my friends...it truly takes a village.

After I told the girls no, the cool lookin' dude who was ahead of me in line asked me what they wanted. I told him that they wanted me to buy them a ticket to an "R" rated movie. To my surprise, he agreed with me. He said, "Ahhh nahhhh...that's right. Some things they just need to wait for".

I was already feeling okay about my choice, and to have this dude agree with me just confirmed my decision.

In my opinion, children/teenagers are exposed to waaay too much too soon. I believe in letting them be youthful for as long as possible. They have all their lives to do and see adult things. But while they are children, they need to be just that...children.

Maybe I'm on a mission all by myself. Or maybe me and the guy in line in front of me are the only two on this bandwagon. But please people...stop exposing your "children" to adult situations...especially if you're gonna turn around and complain about them being "too grown".

Let's help our kids be kids. And stop sneaking them into "R" rated movies. Afterall...the movies are rated R for a REASON (Sex, drugs, language, adult themes,violence, etc.,etc). They may THINK they're ready for adult situations at 14, but how 'bout WAITING until they're 17 to know for sure. Even at 17 I think there are some things that they're not ready for. But that's just me.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever paid for a ticket to allow a child (not yours) into an "R" rated movie? If so, why? If not, why not?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

What's the Rush?

Clocks.

I've never been too fond of 'em.

In my opinion, clocks are the primary reason for so much unnecessary rushing. Clocks (and calendars) create the need for deadlines, and needing to be in a certain place by a certain time.

Rushing to go here. Rushing to go there. Just rushing.

Don't believe me? Let me ask you this then...what happens when you set your alarm and it doesn't go off? Ever had that happen to you? I have.
You wake up in a state of panic...heart racing...forgetting to do half the things you'd normally do had your clock gone off on time.

When the alarm doesn't go off, you're whole "internal clock" is thrown out of whack.

If you didn't have to wake up by a clock then your body would simply wake up to it's natural rhythm and you could go about your day as you were meant to.

Me, I've just never been one to be ruled by a clock. I don't even wear a watch. I like to go with the flow. Wake up when my body says it's time. Get to where I have to go in the time that it takes me to get there. After all...what's the rush?

Yet everywhere I go, people around me are rushing.

I watch cars on the freeway swerve in and out of lanes just to get ONE car ahead of where they were. Doesn't make much sense to me.

I watch drivers illegally enter the carpool lane because they are too impatient to wait for the lane to open up where they may enter legally. Doesn't make much sense to me. Is it worth the ticket when you get caught?

I listen to people complain in lines at the grocery store (or any other store) when there aren't enough registers open. I mean people get really nasty if they have to wait in line for more than two minutes. They start talking negatively about the store and about the cashiers and I just think to myself, "If you think the store sucks that badly, then WHY are you shopping here"? I just don't get it.

And then there are the cashiers who rush me at EVERY store that offers a savings card. Before they even say hello, they ask for my "club card". Time and time again I tell them that I have it and will swipe it once I find it. This drives them nuts.

Tonight's cashier was truly about to crawl out of his skin because I was taking waaay too long for his liking. He starts with asking for my card. I couldn't find it so I started shuffling through the zillions of savings cards that I keep in my wallet. Couldn't find it on the first go round. So I started over. While I'm looking he's firing a series of questions at me...anything to get my info keyed into the computer so that we could move forward. None of my answers were sufficient for him though and I kept telling him to just be patient and I'd find it. He wasn't hearing that.

So guess what I did. I slowed down my search even more...on purpose this time. I wanted to teach him a lesson. He was going to slow down, even if it was only during his forced 3 minute encounter with me. He continued to rush me. Now it wasn't like there was a line full of people behind me, because there wasn't. I wouldn't be that rude. There really was no need to rush. Yet he has been conditioned to do everything quick, fast and in a hurry. I don't work that way. I take my time. And that's in everything that I do.

I eat slowly. Always the last to finish my meal when I'm eating with others. And I'm typically the last one to arrive at events, gatherings, get-togethers, etc. Most of my friends know this and have accepted the fact that that's just me. I get there when I get there. So don't wait up.

I guess in a nutshell, I'd put it this way:

Life is meant to be lived...at its own pace.

YEP! That's it! Don't know if anyone's ever said that before because for me, it's an original thought. Simple, yet profound. Just like me.

There's only one reason that I can think of that's worthy of being in such a rush. That would be to be by the side of a loved one who is about to transition from this life into the next. Being there in time to say a final goodbye...the last "I love you". Yet even if you didn't make it in time...if that person knows how you feel about them BEFORE they're about to go, then even at the end it wouldn't matter if you didn't get there in time because your feelings were known to that person during the times that you shared with them. Even then, it would be okay if you got caught up in traffic. That's why it so important to tell those who mean the most to you exactly how you feel about them...while they are here...LIVING...so that you don't have regrets if you get caught in traffic at the end.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Are you one of those who rush through life? If so, why? Would you like to live life more slowly, or does the hurried pace work for you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

p.s.- If you're ever in my home, you'd enjoy the sound of my living room clock that chimes every hour on the hour from 6:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m.
Westminster Chimes. So you see, I do enjoy the look and sound of a clock...just don't like LIVING by one.

The Things We Say

Wow. I've really gotta get better at this. I have sooo much that I want to write about, but my life doesn't allow me to make time to get here often. I can't tell you how many times in a day I think of something that I want to write about. But when I get home from work I am absolutely SPENT, and don't want to do much of anything except clear my mind of the days happenings.

Now today is Sunday, so my head is a whole lot clearer than it is Monday through Friday. Nevertheless, there was still plenty to keep me from getting here to the blog. FINALLY, I had to say enough is enough, and here I am.

I wanted to talk today about the Church School (some call it Sunday School) lesson from this morning. The lesson today came from Psalm (no "S" on the end), 46:1-7. In the lesson we learned that God IS our refuge. That is a blessing in itself. Not only does he provide refuge, but there is so much comfort, joy and peace that comes from knowing that He IS our refuge. He is in the midst of everything that we go through, so we NEVER have to feel like we're "in it" by ourselves.

As the day progressed, I began to think about some of the "catch phrases" that we use about God. And one that came to mind was "When God shows up, He shows out". You've heard this before, right? And I admit...I'm guilty of having uttered these very words myself a time or two.

But today I realized...God doesn't "show up". You see, when someone "shows up", it means that they weren't there already. It means that they've just arrived. So surely, this doesn't apply to our God Who is Omnipresent. He's everywhere, all the time. That's another comforting FACT.

Now, I understand why we say what we say...it's because at times, we don't FEEL like He's present. At times, we FEEL like we are in the circumstance by ourselves. Then, when the way is made for us, and we are brought out of that circumstance, we feel that THAT is when God has shown up. Hopefully after reading this, you will realize that He was with you ALL the time, and ALWAYS will be, because He promised.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What "catch phrases" have you heard being used to describe God, and do you feel that they are accurate or inaccurate?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Me,You,Him, Her,Us,Them...We're All Connected

I know, I Know...it's been a while since my last post. Life is just so crazy busy these days. But tonight, tired as I am, I wanted to take a minute to do what I love...write.

So recently I've become reaquainted with a friend who I met a few years back. Sadly, we lost touch, maybe spoke with each other once a year. But now...my friend is back. And I am sooo happy!

One thing that I've found interesting about our reconnection is that this time I'm getting to know more about this person. And in getting to know the person I'm finding that we know some of the same people.

A few weeks ago I found out that my friend's sister is a member of the church that I attend. Small world.

Then today, while visiting with my friend's sister, I spot a gentleman in the room who I've also met before, not realizing that this gentleman is the brother of both my friend, and my friend's sister. Smaller world.

Wow!

Who knew?

Kinda makes me wonder how many more people my friend and I know, without even knowing that we know the same people. Did you catch all of that?

Guess it's like they say,"birds of a feather flock together". My friend and I are obviously from the same flock...and that's a good thing!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What was the most surprising connection you've ever discovered within your circle of friends?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

9:34 a.m.

Today was a good day.
Started off bumpy but at exactly 9:34 a.m. the day turned around.
One day I'll share what happened at 9:34 a.m. but today...is not the day.
It doesn't mean that the day didn't have its rough patches here and there (because it certainly did), but 9:34 a.m. made the many rough patches so much easier to bear.

It's been a long day and I'm tired. Let the DIALOGUE begin! When your day is rough, what's the one thing that can turn it right around and get you back on track.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Being Sick SUCKS (especially when you're Single!)

Today was not a good day. Actually, let's go back to yesterday. I went to work and made it through only by God's grace. It was rough. I knew something was wrong. So I called the doctor to make an appointment for this morning. The plan was to go the the doctor then head on in to work. Well...that was MY plan. My BODY had other plans. Between continuous trips to the bathroom and a recurring nightmare that I dreamt all night...I didn't get a lick of sleep...not a drop.

How odd it was to just keep having the same dream over and over again. I kept dreaming that a customer ordered a product that didn't exist. Of course, we couldn't tell him that it didn't exist because we had his order in house. But there was no way that the order could be filled...because the product didn't exist. It was never ending. THIS is what I dreamt...ALL NIGHT LONG.

So I get up this morning, with plans to get ready for work and my body just wasn't havin' it. I was only out of bed for about 5 minutes and I broke into a cold sweat and got all shaky. I headed right back to bed. I knew this wasn't gonna be good.

It was then that I realized there was no way that I'd make it through an entire day at work.

So here comes the sucky part. I'm a mom with 3 people to take care of and shuffle to and fro. So a sick day from work doesn't mean a sick day from work at home. With fever and all I had to get everybody to where they had to go this morning. After all...the world doesn't stop revolving just 'cause I'm sick.

After I dropped them off I headed to the doctor. Got my diagnosis and headed back home to bed because the fever was back again.

Slept til 2 then woke up so that I could go get my prescriptions. Yep...I had to go get 'em cause there's nobody who's gonna pick 'em up for me.

But at 2:00 my body wasn't ready to get movin' again and I found myself right back in bed for another hour.

Finally at 3:00 I head over to get the prescription. Then I stop off at the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. Yes...even with a fever...the show's gotta go on, and I've gotta make dinner for my kids. The world doesn't stop because I'm sick.

I knew it was bad when the checker and the bag boy both looked at me like I was GREEN. I sure felt green. The checker asked if I was ok, and I gave her my honest answer...no.

So I get home and can only muster up enough strength to bring in the perishables. I put 'em away and head where...you guessed it...BED.

And that's where I stayed til 6:00 when I had to go get the kids from the park & take 'em to their next spot. Choir rehearsal. I dropped 'em off & told 'em I'd be back when they were done.

Got home. Crawled into bed.

Got up around 7:00 to start preparing dinner. I chopped 2 tomatoes and felt like I was gonna pass out. This is so not cool.

Finally got dinner ready and was about to head off to get the girls from rehearsal when the clouds parted and I got the break I needed. Someone else was going to bring them home. Thank God!

So that was my day. Gonna go take another dose of the medication so that I can get myself together for work tomorrow. Sick or not, better or worse, I gotta do what I gotta do because 3 people are counting on me and I can't let 'em down regardless of how crummy I feel when on days like today.

Thankfully, I'm an extremely healthy person and can count on one hand the number of times I get sick each year with fingers left over. That's a blessing!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! When YOU'RE sick, who takes care of you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Melvin (Part 2)

Ok. So I did it. I hooked Melvin up to the new computer and wha' da ya know...

I went from 1287 songs to 131. Obviously, I did something wrong.

But it's all good. It's kind of like I have a new iPod all over again. Each day I add a CD and eventually I'll be back to where I was before, or better.

Just goes to show that sometimes we have to take risks. Don't be afraid of the inevitable. Accept the fact that the risks may take you to a place that you weren't expecting to go, but once you're there, you'll realize what to do next.

So there's my Melvin update. Gotta go import another CD.

But before I go...Let the DIALOGE begin! If you lost all of the music in your iPod, what would be the FIRST CD that you'd add back in?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Simple Question...Not So Simple Answer

Today's subject is short, sweet and straight to the point.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is it better to love someone and then lose them (not due to death, but because of other circumstances), or is it better to have never loved them at all?

This one's really messin' with me and I wanna hear what YOU have to say.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Melvin

For those who know me, and for those of you who are getting to know me here at The Dialogue Den...I LOVE music! Absolutely, positively, gotta have it every single day. If television went away today I'd be a-okay, as long as I've got my music. Take my music away and it could get ugly :-)

I remember listening to music on vinyl way back in the day (don't scratch my records!). Then came the cassette tape. Oh the hours that I spent by the radio waiting for my favorite song to come on so that I could hit Play+Record at just the right time. Not too soon 'cause then I'd get the DJ talking before the song (and I didn't want that)...but just when he was wrappin' up his intro...that's when it was time to push the button.

That worked well for a while. And then came along the CD. WHAT?!? You mean I can have a whole album full of songs on this little round circle thingy? No flippin' it over to hear Side B? No way!

Way!

Cool! I could get with this. And I did.

I still have shelves and shelves full of CDs. Just can't seem to part with 'em. Not just yet anyway.

So a few years ago at work I won my first iPod. It was an iPod Shuffle. So cool! It held about 200 songs I think. And that was enough for me.

"Who needs more than 200 songs? 200 songs...that's plenty."

So I thought.

That was until I got the itch to "upgrade" to the iPod nano. Oh, it was so pretty. I got it in blue (my favorite color next to brown). And again...for those who know me...I name everything. If it means anything to me, it gets a name. So my pretty little blue iPod nano was named "Azure". If I was looking for it around the house I'd just have to say, "Does anybody know where Azure is?" And they'd know exactly what I was talking about.
And it was so cute and compact. A perfect little square. It did everything. It had the shuffle feature in case I wanted to switch things up, and it also had a color screen so that I could see the album cover as the songs were playing. Sweet! And I think it held about 2000 songs. 2000 songs!!! No way!

Way!

"Oh, I'd never fill this thing up with 2000 songs. Never."

Yeah right. Little did I know.

It worked though. Had everything I thought I'd ever need (or should I say...want.)

That was until I won another iPod. An iPod touch. Whoa!

I remember saying when I won it..."What am I gonna do with this thing? It does way more than I need."

Well, once I opened it I very quickly found out just what it did, and it did everything that I could have wished for...and more.

I got it home...loaded it up...and gave it a name...MELVIN. Yes, Melvin. Why Melvin? Because Melvin is one of those soulful names from the 70's that you just don't hear anymore. And my Melvin is FULL of soul :-)

So Melvin is chock full of all my favorite songs. I mean really...every song is my favorite (or it wouldn't be in Melvin).

And I'm always adding new songs. Hey...did I already tell you how much I LOVE music?

But I haven't added anything in months. Not because there's nothing new for me to add. Oh no...there's plenty to be added.

But because I got a new computer a few months ago when my old one crashed. And I didn't back up my iTunes library before it crashed.

I've asked so many people about what will happen when I hook Melvin up to my new computer and I've heard a variety of possibilities. The scariest being that I will lose all of my music. SCREECH! Say it ain't so!

So for that reason I haven't added anything new.

But I've come to the realization that I've got to get over the fear of what "might" happen and just do the d@mn thing and find out what will happen. I mean really...there's only one way to find out.

If I lose it all, I'll just start over. And if it's all there then cool.

And in the process I'm learning yet another of life's fine lessons. We've got to get over our fears of what might happen and just try. The harm is not in trying, it's in not trying. If you don't try, then you're stuck and you never get anywhere. At least if you try you'll either find yourself in a place that you like and can move forward, or you'll be in a place where you didn't want to be and you'll work to get out. But you're moving and that's what matters. So don't get stuck.

Let the DIALOGUE begin(we'll keep this one light)! Do you have an iPod and does it have a name? Do you name any of the items that are important to you (besides people & pets)?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

P.S.- Happy Birthday to my Grammy. She was 40 years older than me and was my very BEST friend. Listened to all of my corny riddles...taught me how to read...encouraged me to write...always let me drink the very last sip of her coffee...let me lay underneath her organ bench where I'd watch her feet press on the organ pedals as she played. I could watch her feet for hours. She let me play with her beautiful hair...gave me a typewriter when I was 7...took me on long walks and played a game with me to see which of us could find the most loose change. Trash day was always my favorite day to walk with my Grammy...we'd always find the most loose change on those days. I could go on and on and on but I'm beginning to cry because I miss her sooo much. She's gone home to be with The Lord and I know that one day I will see her again. When I do, I'm gonna tell her a corny riddle and she'll laugh, and laugh and laugh. Happy Birthday Grammy. I LOVE YOU!!! Your Grandaughter, "De-da"

My really GOOD day :-)

How long has it been since you last had a "good day"? A day that left you smiling from ear to ear? A day that left you feeling like even your insides were smiling?
Sadly, we have too few of those days.
Fortunately for me, I don't have to go back too far. For me, that "good day" was yesterday. A really really good day. Can't exactly say what made the day so good (I mean...I can, but I won't). Just take my word when I say that it was. And it carried over into today. Doesn't mean that everything went my way today ('cause it didn't), but yesterday was so special that it made even the crummy parts of today more bearable.

Not sure how long the effects of my wonderful yesterday will last, but I'm gonna ride 'em until the wheels fall off. And I'll be smiling until they do.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! When was the last really really good day that you had, and what made it so good?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Baby vs. Wagon - there IS a difference!

While I was in the mall today I noticed something that reminded me of another of my "pet peeves".

I was watching a mother and her baby (who was about 18 months old). He was small. And he was all over the place. Running here. Running there.

So the mom catches up with the baby and holds him by the hand. But he's so tiny that in order for her to hold his hand, his entire arm is being stretched. I mean, it practically took 2 of his little arm lengths in order for his tiny had to reach hers.

So now, she's got in by the hand and she's dragging him along with her. Mind you, he's a baby...with tiny feet. Much smaller than hers. So his strides don't equal hers. So she's dragging him along by the hand with his little arm STTRRREEEETTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD and I'm thinking...that poor little baby's shoulder is going to pop right out of the socket. What's even more sad is that this isn't the first time that I've seen a mom do this. The other thing that I've seen mom's do is pick the baby up by just pulling them. Urgh! I mean, come on mom...can you be any LAZIER? Is the baby so heavy that you can't just pick him up? I think we all know the answer to that one.

I've had 3 babies, and never dragged them around like that. They were either in my arms or in a stroller, but never pulled around like a wagon...never.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What have you seen parents do to their children that made you want to go up to 'em and say, "Really?"

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Is this thing on?

So it's been a couple of months since I started blogging and I just can't shake the feeling that I am only talking to myself. Gotta tell ya...there is absolutely no fun in that. If I only wanted these thoughts to be kept private, I'd write them down in a book with a lock and store them away in a secret place. But that's not what this is people.

This was not meant to be a monologue...it's a DIALOGUE. And I am determined to keep posting until somebody...ANYBODY posts a comment and gets the dialogue going.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Which blogs do you regularly follow, subscribe to, and post comments. What was it about those blogs that drew you in?

Keep in mind, I don't plan on changing "this" to look like "that" because I think that one of the beauties in blogging is that each blog is unique from the next, and The Dialogue Den will always be just what it is. I'm simply looking for some feedback.

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Party of 1

This time last week I was dining at my favorite restaurant, celebrating my birthday...ALONE.

My friends were busy and it would have cost a fortune to take my kids with me, so I did what I've learned how to do so well over the past 10 years (not by choice, but simply because this is the way it is)...I made a reservation FOR MYSELF and went.

You'd think that after 10 years the awkwardness of eating alone in a restaurant would have worn off. For some, maybe that's the case. For me...not so much. I still miss the company of having someone (that special someone) sitting at the table with me. Especially on special occasions.

And if my BFFs are reading this...yes, I know that WE do most of these things together, but sometimes...every now & then, someone else needs to be sitting with me.

But there came a point where I had to decide if "Me, Myself and I" were going to continue doing the things that I enjoy, even if done ALONE, or would I just stop doing them all together?

I love life and living too much to just crawl into my shell and turn into a hermit simply because there's no one to experience life WITH.

So, little by little I learned how to do things as a "Party of 1".

Movies? Yes.
Concerts? Yes.
Plays? Yes.
Dinner? Yes.
Vacation? Not yet, but I sure have been thinking about it.

Oh, you should see the look on the faces when I'm asked, "How many in your party?", and I say, "One".

The reaction is as though I've said the unspeakable. And they repeat, "One???".

"Yep." I say.
"Just ONE".

Now for those who know me and are probably saying, "Why don't you do these things with your children?"

Well, I do as much as I can with them. But there are some things that I'd rather do with another adult (a.k.a my Husband, which I'll have one day), or just do by myself.

Do people look at me like I have a blue nose when I'm sitting in the movie theatre alone? Of course they do.

And at concerts, where most of the time there are primarily "couples"...and then there's ME...ummm, yes...they look at me a little strange.

Plays? Same thing.

And dinner? Well, I've learned to just not look over at the other tables. I either take a book, or something else to divert my attention away from the other restaruant goers who look over at me with their "Oh, poor thing, she's dining by herself" eyes.

As for the vacation...well, when I go, I'll let you know how it was.

Do I enjoy being a "Party of 1"? Absolutely NOT. But as I said...it is what it is...at least for now.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever gone to a movie, concert, play, dinner or vacation alone? If so, why? If not, would you?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Surprise! (maybe not)

So tonight I had planned to take my son to the movies. I got home from work, told him to get cleaned up & dressed 'cause we were going somewhere. Of course, he hits me with his usual line of questioning:

"Where are we going?"
"Have we been there before?"
"Will I like it?"
"What will we do there?"
"Can you give me a hint?"

The only hint that I gave him was that he had to wear clothes. That didn't help him much.

So we get in the car and we head over to the theatre. We get there and he has at least figured out by this point that we're there to see a movie. So he says, "Yeah! We're gonna see 'Movie X (not the name of the actual movie)!"

>Insert screeching brakes sound here<

"Ummm...no", I tell him. "That's not what we're here to see. I thought you wanted to see 'Movie Y' (again, not the name of the real movie)".

He says, "Uh...no. I heard that wasn't very good. I wanted to see 'Movie X".

Okaaay.

Mind you, the movie that we were there to see was about to start in 10 minutes. So I dial up good ol' Moviefone to find out when "his" movie is playing. It wasn't playing again for another hour and a half. Oh NO!

I explained to him that I was pooped & there was no way that I could hang for that long. So I told him we'd try again tomorrow.

Was he disappointed? Of course. But I hope he understood. I think he did.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever planned a surprise that just didn't work out the way that you had planned?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

07.14

Today has been a great day! Not just for being the day that I celebrate my birth and another year of life, but because it came with GREAT surprises. My family had some things up their sleeve that I never imagined and my day ended with a beautiful bang. I could go on and on but I'll keep it short and sweet tonight. I just have to say this: God answers prayers!

Let the DIALOGUE begin! What was your best birthday surprise?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Oh, and by the way...Happy July 14th!

Artsy Fartsy

So I went to Pageant of the Masters last night and had a GREAT time. I was with my best friends and we saw some incredible "live art". If you've never been to Pageant of the Masters I would HIGHLY recommend that you go. It's a wonderful way to spend the evening under the night sky, and see works of art that leave you saying, "Wow!"

Before the show began though, we had a chance to walk around and look at some of the pieces that were being shown (in hopes of being sold). Now some of the pieces were absolutely stunning. There was one artist who had two huge ocean scenes on canvas that I would've loved to purchase, but I probably don't need to tell you that they were waaaay outside my price range. Who knows though...maybe one day I'll be able to buy them and display them in my living room.

There was another gentlemen who made clocks that mixed old with new, and again...if I could've, I would've.

But then...there were some pieces there that I just simply DID NOT GET. Like the "mixed media" piece that contained lids to plastic Playdough containers, pencils that had been worn down to little nubs, DRYER LINT, and shreds of metal. Of course, the price tag on it was through the roof.

There was another piece that looked like someone took a bunch of paper that had gone through the shredder, then colored the paper (or maybe it started off colored), cut some marbles in half and clued them in with the shredded paper...and as a finishing touch...stuck a price tag on it. Go figure.

Or how 'bout the squiggles that someone throws onto a canvas leaving us to THINK that it really represents something when really all it is is a bunch of SQUIGGLES on canvas. That's it, that's all. Nothing profound or abstract about it. Somebody just took the paint brush, dipped it into the paint, then flung the brush toward the canvas and VOILA, they called it "art", with a hefty price tag to go with.

But even with all of the wierdness and the abstract, I found myself inspired to create some pieces of my own. Am I an artist? Before yesterday I probably would've said no, but now, I say, why not?

If we dig deep enough I'd bet that there's an artist inside each of us. Will it look good to everybody? Probably not, but when does ANYTHING ever look good to EVERYBODY?

Let the DIALOGUE begin! If you could create a work of art, what would it be?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Up Up and Awaaay

So, wha' da ya do when your two youngest children ask you, "What's it like to fly on an airplane?", and they're no longer falling for the answer, "Well, lean back...then sit up straight, lean forward, then sit up straight. There. You've taken off, and you've landed".

Um...no. After a while, they don't fall for that anymore so you've gotta come up with something better. That's just what I did. I bought the cheapest airline tickets I could find where we could go on a quickie trip, just long enough for them to feel like we went somewhere, and far enough to get there by plane. And so, we were off to...San Francisco!

No, it wasn't a trip to anywhere fancy, but it was a trip to somewhere, and I think they had a great time. I had a great time just knowing that they were having a great time. After all, isn't that what it's really all about...seeing the joy in THEIR faces and knowing that you've done something that makes them happy.

My son Terence must have uttered the word "awesome" a zillion times...and that was before we even landed in San Francisco.

And the good times just kept on coming. They loved the hotel (and the fact that we got cookies when we checked in. I'm actually a loyal customer to that particular chain of hotels, simply because of the cookies).

They loved taking the BART.

They didn't even complain when we walked for what seemed like hours to get to Fisherman's Wharf. Once we got there it was worth the walk.

They loved the Crab House (anything with Crab in its name is bound to be yummy).

They loved the street performers (especially my son who was called out by one of them to have his picture taken. He felt so special because of that.)

They loved the walk to the "surprise place" where I took them for dessert. Again, it was another looong long walk, but well worth every step once we got there...Ghirardelli Square...yum-mee.

All in all...they just had a San Frantastic time. And although I tend to pinch my pennies in order to make ends meet, it felt good to splurge just this once. Not one time did I consider how much anything cost. If we wanted it, we got it. Just like that. It felt so foreign because I look at the price of EVERYTHING before I buy it, then I've gotta figure out if we can afford the purchase.

This time, I just threw caution to the wind. We were on our "mini-vacation", and I wanted it to feel like a vacation. And it was well worth every penny spent to see my kids having a good time.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Have you ever been on an airplane? If not, why?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Happy BirthMONTH to Me!

July.

The month of my birth.

Although my birthday falls in the middle of the month, those who know me well know that I celebrate all month long.

No, I don't have a party every day of July, nor do I buy myself gifts during the month either. But I recognize the blessing of another year, during this month. Which really doesn't seem to be much different that what I do during the other 11 months of the year, but during the month of July the days just seem that much more special.

I am thankful for LIFE.

I'm thankful for these eyes that SEE whenever I open them. That's something that I never really gave much thought to until a little over a year ago, but now...every time these eyes open and I can SEE in front of me, I realize right then and there just how BLESSED I am.

I'm thankful for the rest of my senses that also work as they are supposed to.

I'm thankful that I can THINK on my own and make decisions for myself.

I'm thankful for my 3 awesome children who I truly don't deserve, yet have been blessed with, in spite of.

I'm thankful for the ability to put words on a page. For me, this is like breathing...I have to do it.

I'm thankful for good friends who love me. I don't have many. The truth is, I can count how many I have and still have lots of fingers left over. And that is ALRIGHT with me.

I'm thankful for situations that I thought were going one way, yet God had His way and changed the direction.

I'm thankful for the ability to forgive and be forgiven. These are major!

And oh, the list goes on and on.

So you see...for these reasons and so many more, I can't just celebrate my birthday on ONE day in July. No, I start on the 1st and carry the thanksgiving all the way through to the 31st. Yes, I said "thanksgiving". For me, "thanksgiving" isn't just a day in November to sit around and eat turkey...thanksgiving is just that...GIVING THANKS...and that's what I do each and every day. I know...it probably sounds strange to some...probably to most, but that's just me...dancing to the beat of my own drum (again).

So how 'bout you? Let the DIALOGUE begin! What's YOUR favorite way to celebrate your birthday?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Old becomes New again

Today's blog is inspired by my terrific son Terence.

Three nights a week he takes a martial arts class. Tonight was one of those nights. Typically he gets home around 7:00. Tonight, he got home much later. At about 8:30, just as I was about to call to find out where he was, he showed up.

I walked outside to greet him and and as soon as I saw him I realized why he was later than usual. He had been to the barber. And a long overdue visit to the barber it was.

I don't know if it's a good thing or bad, but my son is much like his beloved mother...a "free spirit". I don't like conforming to society's standards about anything. I've always pretty much been a square peg forced to fit into a round hole. As we all know...it doesn't fit.

Well my son is very similar. He loves to draw, but he draws in his own unique way. He's writing a book, and his book will be unlike any other because HE is unlike any other. The same holds true when it comes to his hair.

Getting that boy to comb his hair is like pulling teeth. He tends to go for the "natural" look, and I've gotten to the point where I had to ask myself, "Who is it bothering?" The answer to that question was...absolutely nobody. So I leave him alone. As long as it's clean, that's really all that matters.

He's gone through a few "phases" with his hair. He's had it all cut off (I actually like that look on him because it brings out his "baby face").

He's had a mohawk.

He's had an afro. This is what I thought he was working on with his latest style. It just kept getting bigger and bigger, so I thought for sure that he was working toward a huge afro, or maybe braids, or twists...or something.

Well...that was until he got home tonight with...a FLAT TOP!

Yes, a Flat Top. And it looks faaantastic on him!

It took me completely by surprise. I never expected a flat top. He never mentioned that he wanted one, and we don't know anybody who has one, so I asked him where he got the idea.

This is where the "Old becomes New again" comes in: He saw the hairstyle on one of the characters of a show that he watches...from back in the late 80's...LONG before he was born. But to him, it's all new. I think that's kinda cool.

He sees what he wants and goes after it. He's so daring. He sets his sights on things and doesn't take them off. Whether it's a hair style, a book, an art class, running for class President...my son Terence is fearless. And he teaches me everyday that I too can let go of some (and one day hopefull ALL) of my fears.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! If you could bring back a style, what would it be?

Talk to me!

Til next time...

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

With all that's going on in our world today somehow the fact that an International Supermodel is losing her hair became "big news".

How sad.

We've got a war going on, oil gushing profusely off the Gulf Coast, homeless people everywhere...and the fact that a supermodel is potentially going bald has made the news.

Seriously?

What is going on? Where are our priorities?

First of all, if she is losing her hair, that's her business, and she should be allowed to deal with that in a manner that makes her most comfortable. I get that she's a model and all, but she shouldn't have to worry about paparazzi trying to get a glimpse of her and her bald spots.

Do I sound a little hot under the collar? Maybe I do. But it's because I (unlike many) can relate to what she's going through. I too am potentially going bald. I pray that it doesn't come to that but at the rate that my hair is falling out, you just never know.

2009 was the worst year of my life, although the trouble began back in October of 2008.

That was when my stress levels at work reached a considerable high. I was working extremely long hours, missing time with my family, and had very little time to do anything except squeeze in a few hours for sleep. I was STRESSED, and it was completely work related.

Then, on January 29 2009, I got some news about my health that knocked me off my feet. It was a real "EYE-opener", and left me wondering, "what next?" So in addition to the stress at work, now I had health related stress also.

Oh, but the issues kept on coming. On July 7th 2009, I had a bad day. A REALLY REALLY REALLY bad day. I can't even go into what happened on that day, but I can say that the effects of that day carried over for the rest of the year. So on top of work related, and health related stress, I now had emotional stress piled on.

Now I'm not saying all of this so that you can feel sorry for me. I'm just being real, and it is what it is. And NO...I will NOT show you my bald spots...so don't even ask ;-)

What I didn't realize then, was that all that stress was too much for my body...waaay too much. And that stress chose to manifest itself in my body via hair loss,LOTS of it.

On my scalp are 3 huge bald spots. One the circumference of a soda can. The other the circumference of a tomato paste can, and the other the circumference of a half dollar. Completely bald. No hair on those spots whatsoever.

Yet even with the hair loss, I am thankful for sooo much.

I am thankful that the stress did not manifest itself in a more severe form, like a heart attack, or a stroke. Hey, I can handle a little hair loss. And even if I lose it all...there are some super cute wigs out there. Maybe it's time for me to switch up my look :-)

I'm also thankful that even with all of the hair that is now missing, I still have enough to cover up the patches. What a blessing!

This whole hair loss thing has taught me a lesson that I've been telling myself for years...it's not about who I am on the outside, not the size of my body, not the hair on my head...but it's TRULY about who I am on the INSIDE. That's who I hope people really see...the Me INSIDE, because THAT is who I will always be...with or without hair.

Let the DIALOGUE begin! Is there something about you that people don't know about because you're afraid of how they may think or react? Are you afraid that they won't accept you if they new about this "something" that you've been hiding?

Talk to me!

Til next time...